“Madison. Oh god,” I managed to moan somehow. I didn’t manage to tell her to stop though.
And so she didn’t. She went deeper. The tip of my cock must have been halfway down her little throat. I moaned again, gripping the edge of the couch with shaking hands and staring in disbelief at both her ungodly good cock-sucking abilities and the fact that I was complaining.
“Madison, please,” I heard my voice saying, not wanting to physically pull her off but rapidly approaching the point where I wouldn’t be able to. The normal Alexander, the one that I didn’t want to be anywhere near Madison, he would have put a hand on the back of her head and pulled her forward. That Alexander would have made her take it until she gasped and gagged on me. Then pulled out and come all over those perky, huge tits.
But she didn’t stop so I had to.
“Madison, stop,” I said, meaning it this time. My voice came out much harsher than I meant it to, but I pushed her away with the gentlest hands I could.
She stared up at me like I’d slapped her. Her eyes filled up with unshed tears an instant later like I’d rejected her. Because, I realized, of course I just had. From her perspective, I just rejected her with no warning. While she was blowing me.
“Oh god, Madison, I just can’t…” I started but it was too late. She closed off to me like she’d flipped a switch inside her brain. I could practically see a wall rise up behind her eyes. The tears vanished as quickly as they’d appeared.
“I thought you liked it when I was upset!” She snapped at me, causing me to sit up and back in disbelief. “Get out of here. Get the fuck away from me.”
She grabbed her clothing and started dressing herself, turning away from me. She was trembling again, but this time in anger. I didn’t know what to do. I’d fucked up really badly.
“Madison, please. I don’t want you to regret this later. I didn’t mean to make you feel…” I trailed off. What did I mean? I wanted her to know I cared about her too much to let her do something she’d regret. I wanted her to believe me. I wanted to tell her the truth.
“Madison, I’m not rejecting you. I want to be with you, to date you. To live with you. Come back to Dubai with me. I think… I know that I’m falling in love with you.”
The words were out of my mouth before my brain could catch up. Madison sucked in her breath in disbelief and turned back to look at me with confusion.
“What’s wrong with you? Why would you say that right now? Get the fuck away from me,” Madison snapped, “I’m not kidding, Alexander. Leave. Now.”
We stared at each other, her half undressed and furious at me, me half undressed and loving her. I was wildly out of my depth. All I did was dig myself a deeper hole.
“Alexander. Leave,” Madison repeated firmly. Her eyes were as hard and as angry as I’d ever seen them.
I left.
36
Madison
As soon as he left I felt like an idiot. It wasn’t my finest moment. But he was an even bigger idiot. Alexander was an idiot of titanic proportions.
I felt humiliated and alone. All I’d wanted was to feel like I was really alive for a second. To remind myself that it was Frank and not me that had died this morning. Alexander had given me that life affirming mindless solace before. I don’t deal with rejection during the middle of sex well at the best of times. This day was very much not the best of times.
Why would he think I could handle him rejecting me and then say that he wanted to commit to a relationship in the next breath? I would need to process the love thing eventually, because I think he only said it because I was hurt and furious and he was confused, but right now I was more concerned about the sexual rejection. I didn’t have the brain cells for anything else.
The next few hours were an endurance event. It took several hours before I managed to get away from the office, and then my mom and dad. Unbelievably, I managed to hold it all together. There were a million questions to answer for the FBI, and then Giovanna wanted to confirm that the deal, the real one, was still on.
With Frank’s sudden death, Giovanna had received a battlefield promotion. She was now CEO. Hooray for her. Not exactly the way I’d want to succeed my predecessor.
“I’m glad you’re alright, Madison,” Giovanna told me, hugging me unexpectedly and then stepping away as if embarrassed. I gathered that she wasn’t a particularly affectionate person. “You’re very brave. We’re lucky to have you on our side.”
“Thanks Giovanna,” I replied to her, “You’re brave, too. I’m glad you’re in charge now. I know Propetrolas will be a stronger company under your leadership.”
It was true. Giovanna seemed like the right woman for the job. She was formal and stuffy, but she was honest and kind at the end of the day. She had been decisive when it counted. Frank had been friendlier but look how that turned out. He got too friendly with his lawyer and got blackmailed by gangsters. Then, he blew his brains out when he realized how hopeless his plan was. Giovanna was much too smart, and too careful to be manipulated like that.
The deal was on, but I really didn’t give a shit about the deal anymore. I probably would care again tomorrow, but right now I didn’t care about anything but Alexander. I wanted to get to him, to talk to him, more than anything.
Against my better judgment I drove to his house, but he wasn’t there. His grumpy housekeeper, Ella, said she didn’t know where he was, and the thought of texting or calling him made me feel like some kind of desperate girlfriend. I wasn’t his girlfriend and never would be. I shouldn’t pretend like I was. I drove home in defeat, playing a worst-case scenario out in my mind where he was out fucking Angelica Hunt somewhere. Like, for instance, the floor of a men’s restroom.
When I got home to the carriage house, his motorcycle was there in the driveway. Alexander was there, too, of course, sitting on the entryway stairs when I turned the corner. He looked genuinely despondent, which made me feel a bit better in a messed-up way.
“I’m sorry I got so angry,” I babbled at Alexander when I got within range of him, “it’s been a bad day. We should talk. Do you wanna come in?”
He nodded, grabbing my hand and letting himself be led up the stairs. The look on his face didn’t give much away, and he wasn’t talking, but he was here with me now and he was holding my hand. We went inside.
“Alexander,” I started, but didn’t get to finish my sentence because he’d firmly pinned me to the wall and kissed me like he couldn’t resist me. I melted in his arms instantly. I thought we were going to discuss how he’d said he loved me, but this was better. It was also much easier.
He grabbed my wrists and held them to the wall. He was angry or desperate or something because he’d never been this wild or rough with me before. Teasing, sure, but not this forceful. Maybe he’d finally caught up to what I’d been feeling earlier, or was trying to redeem himself for rejecting me, but I didn’t care anymore. I just wanted him. And if this is how he wanted me, I was fine with that, too.
He used his much greater height and strength to pull me straight up against the wall with my arms above my head, and then leaned down and kissed my neck, biting and licking every inch of exposed skin that he could reach. He slid my pinned wrists higher and higher up the wall until I was up on my tiptoes in my high heels, then dangling in the air. He kept pulling me directly upwards against the wall, shifting his grip down to my shoulders when I wrapped my legs around him, and moved in closer until we were nose to nose.
The look on his face was inscrutable, and his dark eyes stared into mine with some powerful, unknown feeling. That look made me afraid and eager in equal measure on top of my reawakening desire. I leaned forward and kissed him again, wanting more of whatever we were on the cusp of.
Alexander moved his hands to support my rear end to carry me more easily. He looked around his surroundings, visibly confused. I’d forgotten he’d never been here before. I was about to tell him where the bedroom was, but he abruptly set me down on the wooden coffee table a
nd turned me around.
I understood what he wanted. At this height he would be able to stand upright with me on my hands and knees. I obliged, pulling my skirt up for him, only to be surprised when he got on his own knees. He divested me of my thong and shoes in an instant, and his first kiss between my legs left me gasping and grateful that I had the support of all four limbs beneath me.
Moaning into my most sensitive parts, he licked me hungrily from behind, his huge hands gripping my ass and holding me totally stationary. I writhed pointlessly, trying to escape from the sudden sensory overload. After an indeterminate amount of time where all I could do was whimper, he eased up momentarily only to immediately make things more intense by easing a finger inside me. He continued to use his mouth on me as he gave me shallow thrusts with the finger before adding a second.
I worked my knees wider apart to accept the penetration easier, starting to move my hips backward to meet his thrusts with my own. Looking backwards between my legs and between my own breasts and thighs, I could see his mouth and tongue buried up in the dripping wet cleft between my legs. I’d never had a view like this before and it pushed me toward climax faster and harder than anything ever had.
A third finger joined the other two inside me and the combined width stretched me to my absolute limit of comfort. I gasped and moaned, but I took it. But even when it was just shy of being too much, it was also not enough. Desperate for direct stimulation on my clit, I reached one hand back to grab Alexander’s other hand to grind against myself.
He pulled back his mouth from me while I did, smiling and watching me using one of his hands to rub myself while he used the other to fuck me. I could only imagine what I looked like to Alexander, bent double on a table. My breasts were squeezed almost out of my bra out on either side of the arm I had between my legs as I made use of his hand. I needed him so badly I didn’t care what I looked like with three hands between my legs while I moaned and bucked like a wild animal. I was making eager little noises that crescendoed into a high, keening moan when I finally came, orgasming hard into and around his fingers. It seemed to go on and on, my body finally taking the opportunity to release all the tension I had coiled up inside as waves of mind numbing pleasure.
When my muscles finally stopped clenching, I took a deep, shaky breath. I almost collapsed face first on the table, but Alexander helped ease me down to the ground in a sitting position before I could face plant. He straightened up from his knees and stood in front of me expectantly.
I was still wearing most of my clothes, and Alexander was wearing all of his. He had that wild look on his face. He hadn’t said a word.
Scrambling up close to him, I needed to give him some fraction of the joy and release he’d just given me. I looked up at him for obvious consent this time as I unbuttoned his pants for the second time today. He smiled at me and tucked my hair behind my ear.
This time he definitely wanted it. I sheathed my teeth behind my lips, hollowed my cheeks and sucked on him thoroughly, interspersing my periods of deep-throating him with long, teasing licks to prolong things. He let me play with him this way for a while, staring down at me affectionately, and occasionally helping keep my hair from getting in my eyes. But the next time I tried to pull back he put both heavy palms on the back of my head and kept me going at him, fucking my mouth with an increasingly intense pace until the balance of power shifted and he was in charge. I gasped for air on every upstroke, but he pressured me to go deeper and deeper, faster and harder. I struggled to deliver until I was almost choking.
I didn’t care. I wanted to make him scream. I wanted to taste him and swallow his climax. Nothing else mattered in that moment but pleasing him. Even when I was beginning to feel my eyes smarting and my gag reflex warning me that it still existed, I kept going, taking every inch of him with relish. He was looking down at me in wonder when I glanced up, and it made me feel strong, sexy, and in control. The balance of power had shifted back in my favor. He’d put out an arm to steady himself against the wall and I loved that he was loving this. His expression was increasingly vacant and he was panting. He was close.
He wasn’t going to push me away this time. He came hard into the back of my throat with a profane exclamation, and I just let the hot fluid drip down to my stomach without even having to swallow. Alexander ended up on his knees a moment later, looking wide-eyed at me. I smiled at him shyly as I rubbed my sore jaw and he grinned.
“Jesus Christ,” he said after he caught his breath, “I can’t believe I turned that down earlier. I’m such an idiot.”
I laughed, feeling so much better it was stupid. I felt great. Sex was a helluva drug. I stretched and straightened my clothing. There was only one thing missing:
“Do you want to order a pizza?”
37
Alexander
“You’re gonna make me be the one to bring it up, aren’t you?” I asked Madison at last. We were two beers and a large cheese pizza into the evening by the time I got up the courage to pose the question.
Madison and I were cuddling on the couch of her parent’s tiny garage apartment watching Netflix. The past few hours had felt so normal. So weirdly normal. The pizza box was sitting on top of the coffee table I’d finger-fucked her like a maniac on earlier, and neither one of us had said a word about the fact Madison witnessed a suicide this morning, that tomorrow we would be signing the deal that had prompted said suicide, or that the moment the deal was done our reason for being here together in Waterloo, Pennsylvania would be over.
Was this what having a girlfriend was like? I had platonic female friends, and I’d had female lovers, obviously, but this was entirely different. The lovers I’d had were nothing like Madison. I didn’t crave just spending time with them outside of sex, although I didn’t hate it either. It was just tolerable, I guess. Since I had no emotional investment in those women, I was largely indifferent to their thoughts, opinions, or little eccentricities.
Everything was so different with Madison. Everything about her drew me in and held me captive and fascinated. From the way she ate pizza (crust first- awful!) to her opinions on beer, to the way she snuggled under my arm and covered her eyes at the first sign of any emotional drama or implied unhappiness on the screen, I wanted to know every detail about Madison. By the questions she asked me, I suspected she might feel the same way.
I guess, considering the circumstances, we’d both needed a few hours of normal. We’d ended up watching ‘Coming to America’ on cable and laughing our asses off. Madison had never seen it, which was an absolute crime. I had forgotten how funny Eddie Murphy was in his prime. There were at least ten films I wanted to re-watch with her immediately now that I’d learned her cinematographic education was sorely lacking.
But first, we need to address the elephant in the room.
Madison pulled back from my chest and retreated to her side of the couch. She took a sip of her beer and tried to look casual. She failed.
“Bring what up?” Madison replied in a too-high, tight voice. She was looking anywhere but at me.
I sighed, running my fingers through my hair in frustration. I was in no way equipped to lead this conversation. But I was going to try.
“Oh, you know,” I answered with a matching faux-casualness, “when I said this morning that I wanted you to move to Dubai and be with me. When I said I was falling in love with you.”
Madison continued to deliberately not look at me. She seemed to be really interested in the label of her beer bottle. I hoped it said it had a million calories in it. She’d been a bit too easy to manhandle today. As much as liked how fun-sized she was, Madison could probably stand to gain a few pounds.
I resisted commenting on her weight. I was slowly learning about how to talk to Madison without triggering her temper. Wisely, I had surmised that this would not be a good moment to bring that particular subject up. In fact, I suspected that it might never be a good moment to bring it up.
“Oh,” she murmured. That was her r
eply to my declaration?
I didn’t know what to do with that response. It wasn’t a response. I took a deep breath.
“Madison, I want to be with you,” I told her again, staring intently at her and waiting for some kind of response that meant something.
Obviously (because while I might be inept, I was not unfeeling) the idea that she didn’t want me back had been bothering me all day. ‘Bothering’ isn’t actually the right word. The worry that she might not want me back had been stabbing me between the ribs, pulling out my toenails, and smothering me all day.
I’d come here initially with the intention of talking to her, again. Just like I’d meant to actually talk to her last night. And like last night, my hormones had gotten the best of me and I’d just ended up naked with her.
As much as I enjoyed being naked with Madison, we really did need to talk. The only problem was I didn’t seem to know how. And she didn’t seem to be willing.
“Madison, can you please say something?” I pleaded. Even if the answer was no, and she didn’t give a shit about me, I wanted to know. I needed to know.
“Alexander, you don’t have to say that,” she said finally, looking at me with an expression that looked like sadness but also looked somehow like forgiveness, “you really don’t.”
“I’m not just saying it to say it,” I told her, beginning to feel like I was losing control of the situation, “I mean it. I want you and I don’t want this to end. I want you to come back to Dubai with me when this is over. I want to see where this could go.”
She stared at me and her mouth dropped into a soft ‘o’ shape. It snapped shut again a moment later. Madison no longer had that sorrowful look on her face, but what had replaced it was almost worse. She looked resigned. She sighed deeply.
Bleeding Heart (Scions of Sin Book 1) Page 20