“Can I ask why you are calling?” the scratchy voice asked.
“Well, I was hoping to speak to my father, Sam."
It was dead silent. I wanted to go on asking questions, but I made myself wait for him to speak.
“Jack, first of all, my son Sam is in the FBI. It’s hard enough for me to reach him, let alone to tell you how to get a hold of him. But that’s a different point. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but Sam is not your father. You’re going to have to search somewhere else for whatever it is you are trying to find.”
I was flabbergasted, stunned into silence. The phone seemed to simply hang from my head until the man who I thought was my grandfather continued.
“Jack, please don’t call here again.” With that, the line went dead.
My hands shook as I slowly put the phone back on its receiver. It felt like someone had stuck a knife into my heart. I had no idea what to think. I was immobilized and humiliated. Had my mother lied to me? Or was John lying to me?
It then occurred to me that it didn’t really matter. I didn’t know the man anyway, and Sam never bothered to reach out to me. Screw him! I didn’t need that son of a bitch anyway.
A part of me always questioned whether Sam was my father. Now that my mother was dead I would never know the truth.
I decided to remove all traces of Sam O’Malley from my life. I would take my grandmother’s last name. Jake Napier had a good ring to it and Grandma Daisy was more of a father to me than anyone.
As soon as I turned eighteen I went to the courthouse and changed my name officially. From that day forward I would be known as Jack Napier.
brooke
Chapter twenty-six
“Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.”
~ J.K. Rowling
Facebook Message from Brooklyn Page Napier 10/1/2014 at 7:34 am:
Good Morning!
Facebook Message from Tyler Ward 10/1/2014 at 7:35 am:
Hey, how’s it going?
Facebook Message from Brooklyn Page Napier 10/1/2014 at 7:37 am:
I broke things off with Nick and Jack has agreed to go to counseling with me.
Facebook Message from Tyler Ward 10/1/2014 at 7:39 am:
That's a positive step!
Facebook Message from Brooklyn Page Napier 10/1/2014 at 7:41 am:
I know but when I really think about it I'm not sure I want it to work. I'm so burnt out with the whole thing. When I look at Jack I just don't feel it anymore.
Facebook Message from Tyler Ward 10/1/2014 at 7:43 am:
It's not easy! You have to focus on the good things about him. The things that made you fall in love with him.
Facebook Message from Brooklyn Page Napier 10/1/2014 at 7:44 am:
I guess.
Facebook Message from Tyler Ward 10/1/2014 at 7:45 am:
How did you meet Jack anyway?
Facebook Message from Brooklyn Page Napier 10/1/2014 at 7:48 am:
I actually grew up with him but we lost contact after high school. We re-connected on a summer study abroad trip to Helsinki Finland my junior year of college. He was attending the Indianapolis satellite campus so I was surprised when I saw him when I got there.
Facebook Message from Tyler Ward 10/1/2014 at 7:49 am:
Wow! That's a weird coincidence..
Facebook Message from Brooklyn Page Napier 10/1/2014 at 7:55 am:
It gets even more weird. As a going away gift, our class was invited to a Russian ballet in St. Petersburg. This was our final event before all the American students headed back to the States. When we got there the girls went shopping and the guys checked out the bars. We didn't see each other until the mandatory ballet we all had to attend.
Here's where it gets really weird. The day of the ballet all the girls were on time and bought our tickets together. Of course the guys were late so they bought their ticket much later than us.
When I looked at my ticket I noticed I was not sitting next to the other girls on the third level. My ticket was on the second level. So I found my seat and waited for the ballet to start. That's when Jack walked up. When I asked him what he was doing he showed me his ticket. It was the seat next to mine. I couldn't believe it! It had to be more than just a coincidence. At time I thought it was fate. But, now I realize that was just the hopeless romantic in me.
Facebook Message from Tyler Ward 10/1/2014 at 7:56 am:
Everything happens for a reason Brooke.
Facebook Message from Brooklyn Page Napier 10/1/2014 at 7:57 am:
I don't believe that shit anymore.
Facebook Message from Tyler Ward 10/1/2014 at 7:58 am:
You got three awesome boys as a result. Could you imagine life without them!!
Facebook Message from Brooklyn Page Napier 10/1/2014 at 8:01 am:
They are as miserable as I am. They see Jack and I fighting all the time. What kind of life is that for a kid to see. All we are doing is fucking them up now and later in life.
Facebook Message from Tyler Ward 10/1/2014 at 8:03 am:
I'm just saying there was a reason you met Jack. Maybe there a reason you are having problems now. Love is not easy Brooke.
Facebook Message from Brooklyn Page Napier 10/1/2014 at 8:08 am:
I love my kids but I should never have dated Jack let alone marry him.
Facebook Message from Tyler Ward 10/1/2014 at 8:11 am:
You shouldn't say things like that Brooke.
Facebook Message from Brooklyn Page Napier 10/1/2014 at 8:12 am:
The first time Jack and I were together he basically raped me.
Facebook Message from Tyler Ward 10/1/2014 at 8:13 am:
What?!!!
Facebook Message from Brooklyn Page Napier 10/1/2014 at 8:15 am:
Yes! We were in Finland and it was my 21st birthday. Our class took a cruise from Helsinki to Stockholm and I got really drunk. I remember doing shots with my economics professor and then I blacked out. When I woke up in the morning I was in my bed and I had little memory of the night before.
When I went to breakfast everyone was staring at me like I was crazy. My best friend Heather started filling me in about all the craziness. Apparently I was wasted and out of control. Then she told me I left the ship’s disco with Jack and never returned, although Jack did. It's was rumored that Jack and I had sex. There was also rumor that Jack took pictures!
I was devastated because for one thing I was a virgin. I was so upset I didn't confront Jack about it until we got back to school in Helsinki. He admitted to having sex with me but that I basically pushed myself on him. That was bullshit! Jack's aggressive by nature so I'm sure he took advantage of me. Plus, he felt so guilty about it when I approached him. He was so nice to me the rest of the trip. I'm sure he was afraid I was going to report him. Anyway, from there our fucked up relationship blossomed!
Facebook Message from Tyler Ward 10/1/2014 at 8:09 am:
I don't know what to say. That's really messed up.
Facebook Message from Brooklyn Page Napier 10/1/2014 at 8:10 am:
I know!
Chapter Twenty-Seven
“There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be...”
~ John Lennon
Jack Napier - Day 51
After I graduated from North Central I started taking classes at a local community college. Indiana University Purdue University Indianapolis (IUPUI) was the place where kids at the main campuses in Bloomington and West Lafayette fell back on, the ones who couldn't balance school and social life. It was also the place for kids who didn’t have good enough grades to get into the main campuses. I was one of the kids in academic purgatory. Even though IUPUI was a top rated school for academics, it had the stigma of being the place kids went to when they couldn’t get into a “good college.”
I didn't care, I was just glad to be out of high school and in control of what classes I took. For the first three years of college I was focused on getting good gra
des so I didn't have to struggle after I graduated. I didn't want to end up like my mom and grandpa Bob. I wanted a family, a real family. So, I was focused like never before.
Then at the end of my junior year a flyer outside my advisor's office caught my eye. It was an invitation to spend the summer in Finland at the Helsinki School of Economics and Business Administration on an exchange program. It would also count as credit toward my degree. I was dying for a little adventure, so I applied immediately.
I got into the exchange program, and before I knew it I was getting off a plane at the Helsinki International Airport. Our group was greeted by a beautiful Finnish girl with silky hair that was so blonde it was almost white, and bright blue eyes that looked like two sapphire crystals. She introduced herself as Netta, then explained that she was assigned to chaperone our group during our stay in Mikkeli. After collecting our bags we walked through the airport to a van parked outside. As we drove up to the dorms, I spotted a familiar face. When I got out of the van, I froze in place. No freaking way, I thought.
"Hi, Jack! What are you doing here?” Brooke asked, surprised to see me as well.
The butterflies in my stomach started to multiply, sending my nerves into overload. I was at a loss for words.
“I can’t believe I didn’t notice your name on the student roster,” Brooke continued.
“It’s because I changed my last name to Napier,” I replied.
"That was very nice of you to take your grandmother’s last name. I know how important she has been in your life."
"My old last name never really belonged to me, and after my mother died I wanted to make a clean start. I know it may sound weird but my grandma’s last name has a lot of meaning to me."
I hadn’t seen Brooke since high school. I couldn't believe it took all this time for us to bump into each other.
“You really do look great, Brooke." The feelings I had for her quickly rushed back to me like a child who has found their lost puppy.
It wasn't long before we sparked up our old friendship. We had morning coffee, then met for lunch almost every day. Sometimes in the evenings we would jog through the pine forest together, and still in running clothes, we would sit and talk for hours. It seemed just like old times, but much better..
Every morning when I woke, I would think, it’s only 45 minutes until I get to see Brooke for coffee. Then one morning Brooke didn’t show. I sat there alone, a million questions whipping through my mind. Was she okay? Was she sick? Had I done something that made her unhappy with me? When the next morning came and she didn’t show again, I went looking for her. When I found her she just blew it off like it was no big deal. Over the next few weeks she become more and more distant.
Then one night like a car wreck I was blindsided with the truth. The Finnish students had put together a costume party for all the Americans. It was going to be a real blowout.
No one recognized me when I walked into the party with my face painted like Gene Simmons from Kiss. Brooke knew it was me right away. When we were kids she would watch me draw different versions of the band members.
Brooke was dressed as Pocahontas. Her hair was braided into pigtails, and she was crowned with an Indian style headdress. Hugging her slender body was a revealing light brown skirt with slits on each side, and fig leaves sewn on at the hem. She had the eye of every guy in the room. I couldn’t fight the urge to look at her. I loved everything about her.
When Brooke saw me, she smiled. I was sure that was my cue to walk toward her. Halfway through the room, she turned to Mika, one of the Finnish chaperones. Her eyes twinkled as he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. What?? My heart didn't just sink, it dropped into the pit of my stomach like a giant bolder. No amount of makeup could cover my sadness.
What was that about? Was Brooklyn dating Mika? That would explain why she's been so distant, I thought.
I tried not to look at Brooke, but I couldn’t get her out of my line of sight. All night I watched as they talked and flirted, while the empty hole in me grew. Then, Mika took Brooke's hand and they left the bar. She didn't even stop to say goodbye.
Although there wasn’t enough alcohol at the bar to dull the pain I was feeling, I tried anyway. Straight shots chased with beer, then hard-cider chased with more shots. I was sure taking another girl home would make me feel better.
At this point, I had no inhibitions. I was the life of the party. By the end of the night I had become friendly with a local Finnish girl. I saw three of her, but was planning on leaving with the one in the middle. I didn’t know her name, but it wasn’t like I was going to remember it anyway. Even if I did there was no way I could pronounce it in my drunken state.
As we continued to talk it became apparent that we found each other intriguing, maybe because we were so different from one another. Her complexion was almost translucent, draped with flowing blonde hair that accentuated her blue eyes.
When we left I invited myself to her dorm room. I was ready to redeem myself. Peeling off layers of clothes, I haltingly explored her body with my hands. Then I kissed her neck.
Suddenly unbidden images of Brooke ran through my head. Just like all the corny love stories I thought were so cliché, I pulled away. I couldn't do it.
Sliding down onto her bed, I shook my head, wishing Brooke's image would just get out of my head.
“You are in love with the girl at the bar, the one you kept watching. I saw how you looked at her. I think it's cute," said the Finnish beauty in her sexy accent.
Then she curled up in my arms, pulled the blanket up over both of us, and turned off the lamp. There in the dark, in lonely silence, we lay together, wrapped in each other’s arms.
For the next few days, everything was in slow motion for me. The end of the trip was only a few weeks away. I could hardly wait to board the plane for Indiana.
The following week we had our class trip to St. Petersburg to see a Russian Ballet. When we got there the girls went there way and we went ours. Markus, the chaperone for the guys, slyly told us he could get some homemade champagne. We were in! Within an hour Markus was back with enough bubbly to knock every one of us on our ass.
We drank until the sun came up, then drank some more. After all, a bunch of guys going to a ballet sounded pretty unmanly. Later that day, the girls made it to the show hours before it was scheduled to start. They went window shopping, had lunch, and watched Russian people go about their lives. Right on time, they picking up their tickets.
The guys didn’t feel like doing much of anything but dying. We were so busy trying to recover from our wicked champagne hangovers that we lost track of time. We had to rush to get to the show before it started. Running up to the will call window at the last minute, we feared our tickets had been given away. We were lucky; they were still there.
Once inside the Mariinsky Theatre, I stopped at the second level, while the rest of the guys continued to the third. My ticket clearly said I was on the second level.
“Hey guys, doesn’t your ticket say second level?”
“No,” they all replied.
Glancing at my ticket, I confirmed that my seat was on the second level. There was no mistake about it. When I got to my seat I found Brooklyn sitting in the seat right next to mine.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, completely confused.
You’re not going to believe this, but all the girls are on the 3rd floor and I’m the only one on the 2nd."
“You’re kidding, me too!" I shouted.
The moment suddenly changed from a strange coincidence to something divine.
"I thought you were mad at me, Brooke." I murmured.
Brooke gazed at me for a moment, her eyes telling me all I needed to know.
The lights slowly dimmed as the curtain went up revealing two dancers swimming in a pool light. It was absolutely stunning. It wasn’t just a dance, it was poetry, with a stream of motion that told a story.
I felt Brooke’s eyes on me as I marveled at the dancers.
Reaching over I slipped my hand into hers. I felt complete.
When we returned to Finland our class was invited to take a cruise to Stockholm as a going away gift.
It just happened to be Brooke’s 21st birthday and it was the first time we were intimate. Although, Brooke was so drunk she doesn’t remember. It all started at dinner on the ship. Brooke was slowly getting wasted while I was keeping my cool and pacing myself.
The dining room was elegant with crystal chandeliers and round tables dressed in white tablecloths. Brooke sat next to me while I made small talk with one of our economics professors. Under the table, however, her hand had a mind of its own. Firmly gripping my thigh, it massaged its way up my groin. I pulled my legs inward and glared at Brooke to stop. I think this turned her on because next thing I knew she was rubbing her foot against my leg. Then she grabbed my crotch as she bit down on her bottom lip.
What the hell? I had never seen Brooke this way before. There was a mixture of emotions whirling around inside of me. I was aroused, but something didn't feel right. This was Brooke! She wasn't that kind of girl.
After dinner we went to the ship’s disco. Brooke grabbed my hand and guided me through the crowd until we were in the center of the rotating dance floor. Next thing you know she was grinded on me like a stripper.
"Y-y-ou knooow whaaaat I n-n-need?" Brooke slurred as she pulled on my shirt.
"What's that?" I replied.
"I n-n-need my caaaamera! Cooome wiith me to geeet my caaaamera, Jaaack!" Then Brooke whispered in my ear. "Leeet's g-g-go noooow!"
Her warm breath sent chills down my neck. When we got to her room, Brooke was all over me like she was on the dance floor. Then she started taking my shirt off. Next thing I knew we were both naked. I wasn’t making love to her like I had always envisioned. Instead, I was fucking her like an animal.
Then I heard a retching sound. Brooke was dry heaving as hung off the side of the bed. I think she was trying to keep the room from spinning. Picking her up I carried her to the bathroom and resting her head on the plastic toilet seat. After sitting with Brooke for a while I cleaned her up then put pajamas on her.
Breaking Brooklyn Page 15