“Be serious, okay? I just got ransacked by pirates.”
He stares at me and Faron. “Are you here for glorious battle?”
“We didn’t do anything,” I tell him.
She shrugs. “They’re looking for Toby.”
“Everybody’s looking for that kid. But he flaked out this year,” says Ben. “It’s totally messing up the game. All our Plot Members are gone now.”
“Where is Tobias?” I ask.
“Tobias? That’s his real name?” Ben says, laughing. “We used to battle it out online, playing World of Warcraft.”
“So you played games online?”
“That’s how I know Toby. We didn’t hang out much I.R.L.”
“What does that mean?”
“You know. In real life.”
Is that how Alice met her boyfriend? They played games online? If that’s true, I’m even more scared for her.
Maybe Alice doesn’t know Tobias “in real life” either.
They probably started talking online last summer. Maybe she thought he could help her escape the Old Order. I remember Alice standing outside the basketball court, watching the Rumspringa boys, the way her eyes shined.
“Toby was always starting fights,” says Ben. “He’s got anger management issues. No joke. When I invited him to Blackwoods last summer, I didn’t even know he had a girlfriend.”
“Is her name Sarah?” I ask.
“Yeah, I think so. This girl was super cute. Don’t know why she’s going out with Toby. I mean, she could do so much better. Anyway, I tried to get him into LARPing. I thought it would be more fun than gaming, you know? Get out some aggression. And it was fun, at first. Then Toby starting freaking out.”
“What happened?”
“Like I told you. That kid’s got problems. He always has to win. And if things don’t go his way, he freaks out.”
The dead girl nods. “One time, he pushed this girl so hard, she fell and twisted her ankle or something. All because of a stupid game.”
“Of course, he says it wasn’t on purpose,” says Ben. “Nobody believes him. So we kicked him out.”
“That’s why he’s not at Blackwoods? He got kicked out of the game?”
“Yeah,” says Ben. “We tried to give him a second chance, but the whole thing’s pretty messed up.”
“When was the last time you saw him?” I ask.
“I think he was down in Florida or something. He just got back a couple days ago. Took a bus home or something.” Ben digs around inside his knapsack. “He left this at my place,” he says, taking out a video camera. “Toby was supposed to film the battles tonight,” he says. “That’s all he’s allowed to do. But obviously that’s not happening.”
“Let me do it.”
All my life, I’ve hidden myself from cameras. Now Ben is showing me how to work the GoPro. “This thing is so sweet. He was going to strap it on his helmet. Are you sure you can handle it?”
I nod. “I’ll do my best.”
“Awesome. If you find Toby, you can give it back. Many thanks, my lady,” he says, bowing so low, his hat flops into the grass.
• • •
“I didn’t know mountains were so big,” I tell Faron as we head through the woods back down the trail.
“That’s why it’s hard to move them,” he says.
“What if Tobias is hiding out somewhere? I mean, he could still be at the games, right?”
Faron shakes his head. “It doesn’t sound like anybody really knows him.”
“Ben said Tobias left that camera at his house a couple days ago. That means he’s here in Maine.”
“Yeah, but if Tobias is Old Order, why does he have a video camera?”
“Maybe he’s on Rumspringa.”
“That’s what I thought,” says Faron. “But there’s something about Tobias that doesn’t make sense. Did Alice say how they met?”
“I’m not sure,” I say, looking up at the sky. All those stars. “She said they were hanging out last summer.”
“That’s when he played Warcraft online with Ben.”
“So?”
“It’s not like a real friend,” he says.
“Maybe that’s how he met Alice.”
“You think she met this guy online?”
“Yes.”
“Then she’s in a lot of trouble,” says Faron.
If Alice met her boyfriend online, he could be anyone. When I thought Tobias was Old Order, I wasn’t so scared. He was one of us. Now I’m wondering how many girls he talked to online.
Did he really care about Alice?
Or was he just pretending?
When we reach the campsite, there’s nobody around. The tents are circling the bonfire, the air laced with smoke. There’s a flag with a skull and crossbones dangling from a tree. It gives me the shivers, just looking at it.
Faron pokes his head into one of the tents.
“What are you doing?”
“You’d rather sleep in the truck?” he says, climbing inside.
“Don’t you think we should ask first?”
“Ask who? Everybody’s in the woods, pretending to kill each other.”
“Okay,” I tell him. “But if we get caught, it’s your fault.”
“Deal,” he says.
I shove my way inside the tent. He’s right. It’s a lot better than sleeping in the truck. Warmer too. I stretch out on the blanket next to him.
“Still got that camera?” he asks.
“Yeah. But I don’t know how to use it.”
“Easy,” he says. “Just start pushing buttons.”
I don’t see any buttons. When I touch the screen, it brightens into a picture. A crowd of girls dancing in the woods. Oak trees and Spanish moss. The water tower, rising above it all.
“It’s Water Tower Park.”
The picture goes dark. Nothing else to see.
“Can you make it start at the beginning?” asks Faron.
I press the screen again. The picture melts into a blur, racing backward. Now we’re at the party, swaying in the crowd. Music thudding. All the girls in their bonnets, smoking behind the trees. I scan their faces, searching for Alice.
Two girls slip out of the woods. One in a tank top and jeans. The other, dressed plain.
“This isn’t fun anymore.”
“Then leave.”
It’s like looking through somebody else’s eyes.
Me and Alice, fighting about going home.
You can’t erase the past. But I get the feeling that’s exactly what Tobias tried to do.
The camera goes dark. For a second, I think I’ve seen everything. Then I hear Alice crying. She’s in the backseat of a car, her face streaked with tears.
“Stop it,” she says. “You’re hurting me.”
Somebody’s laughing in the background. I know that laugh. It’s been with me since the night of the party.
“Get over here,” says Tobias.
She reaches for the door handle, but he’s too fast.
“I said get over here.”
He slams her head against the window. Alice’s body slumps forward, knocking the camera off the seat, and there’s nothing else to see.
July 18
Smyrna, Maine
Dear Lucy,
I met a boy.
His name’s Tobias.
We just started talking, but I know he’s perfect. When he smiles, I’m flying. He makes me laugh. And he’s got the most amazing eyes. I can’t stop thinking about us together. I know it’s going to happen. I just don’t know how.
It feels like the whole world has changed color. Even the sky is bluer. I was so busy staring at it this morning as I walked to the Amish Market, I dropped my quilts in the mud. I must’ve looked ridiculous, standing there, giggling. I just couldn’t help it! Mr. Lapp came by in his buggy. “Only the devil laughs all the time,” he said. Then I laughed even more. You should’ve seen his face!
Promise not to tell anybody about To
bias, okay? You’ve always been good at keeping secrets. That’s for sure. I hope you meet a boy soon. Then you’ll understand how awesome it feels. I pray it happens soon.
I can’t sleep tonight. I wonder if he’s thinking about me too. If my mom found out, she’d put my name in the bann. She wants me to marry an Amish boy. But I can’t even imagine a life like that. It doesn’t matter what she says. I would do anything, if I could see Tobias again.
In a couple weeks, I’ll be down in Pinecraft. Fingers crossed, Tobias will be there too. And then we’ll be together.
I won’t let anything stop me.
56 days until Florida.
Alice
chapter twenty-one
luck
All night, the pictures tighten their grip. Alice in the backseat of that car. Her head slamming against the window. The fear in her voice as she begged Tobias to let go.
When I open my eyes, it’s dark outside. I stick my head out of the tent. It’s quiet. The campsite is empty. Then a firecracker soars above the pines.
A group of boys run past, waving their foam-padded swords. All of a sudden, the LARPers are everywhere.
I shake Faron. “Wake up. They’re coming.”
“Who?” He yawns.
“The battle is starting. We have to get out of here.”
Faron grabs my hand and we race out of the tent. Shouts echo through the woods as the LARPers charge into battle. I know they’re just pretending, but I hold onto Faron a little tighter.
We plunge through the crowd of people in their costumes. There’s so many fairies, just like Crystal told me. They rush past us in their glittery wings, moving ahead of the boys and their swords. It’s amazing to see girls take action like that.
“Let’s go,” says Faron, tugging me away.
In the distance, smoke threads the lights in the parking lot. We run toward it, stumbling down the trail. When we reach the truck, Faron shoves his key in the door. I jump inside and he cranks the engine.
“Wait,” I tell him.
“What’s the matter?”
“The camera. I left it in the tent.”
“Forget it,” he says. “We can’t go back now.”
As we pull away from Blackwoods, I watch the campsite grow smaller. Fireworks sizzle above the mountain, leaving trails across the sky. We drove a thousand miles, looking for Tobias, and he isn’t at the games. But that doesn’t mean I’m giving up.
If he did something bad to Alice, he can’t run away from it.
I won’t let him.
• • •
At sunrise, we’re on the road.
“It feels like we came all this way for nothing,” I tell Faron.
I want to go back to the campsite. There’s got to be somebody there who knows Tobias. Or knows where to find him.
We pass a diner on the highway. The parking lot is filled with cars. Most are topped with bright yellow kayaks or bikes. There’s a giant SUV parked up front. On the antenna, a tiny pirate’s flag snaps in the breeze.
“That’s Captain Darkwater!”
Faron looks at me. “You must be hungry. Now you’re seeing things.”
“Pull over,” I tell him.
“Okay,” he says, jerking the wheel. “Besides. I could use some breakfast.”
He swerves into the parking lot. I’m out of the truck before he can turn off the ignition. So Crystal made it to the games, after all. Will she talk to me? Or have things changed, now that I’m in her world, not the other way around?
Faron sits on a bench outside the diner. “You go ahead,” he says, taking out his pack of Reds. “I need a smoke.”
I head straight for the door and push it open. This place reminds me of Der Dutchman back in Pinecraft, only messier. The gritty floor sticks to my sneakers as I head inside.
The waitress is leaning against the counter, talking on a cell phone.
“What do you mean, I never call?” she says, frowning. “I’m calling right now.” She puts the phone down on the counter. “Can I help you?” she asks me.
I study the maze of tables. Crystal’s wheelchair is tucked in a corner of the room, a bouquet of silver balloons swinging from the armrests.
“I think I see my friends,” I tell her.
I take a deep breath.
Then I start walking.
The LARPers at Crystal’s table are still in their costumes—long robes and pointy hats. Their swords are tucked under their chairs, as if they might go into battle, right in the middle of the diner.
Ben is here too, sitting next to Crystal. For some reason, she’s wearing a fuzzy hat. It reminds me of a stuffed animal, complete with whiskers and pointy ears.
“Dude,” says Ben, tugging on her hat. “Why do you have a teddy bear on your head?”
“For your information, I’m not a dude,” she says, laughing. “And that’s not a bear. It’s a snow tiger.”
When I reach their table, Ben waves at me. “Hark now, fair maiden.”
Crystal widens her eyes. “Oh, my god. Lucy, what are you doing here? You made it all the way to Blackwoods.”
I smile. “Yeah, with a little help.”
“You mean, a little help from your boyfriend?”
“My what?”
“If you were spending the night at his place, why didn’t you tell me? For real. I wouldn’t have judged you.”
“What do you mean?”
“I saw you guys together.” She smirks.
“You did?” This is so embarrassing.
“Yeah,” Crystal says. “You’re not mad, right? We’re still friends?”
“Of course.” I sink next to her wheelchair and give her a hug.
“Good. Because it would really suck if we stopped talking.”
In Pinecraft, I never had a lot of friends. Now I’m starting to wonder why. It always feels like everybody’s watching you. Judging. Waiting for you to mess up. All this time, I thought Crystal was judging me too. Maybe I shouldn’t be so quick to think that someone’s looking down on me.
I dig inside my tote bag and find the purple iPod. “You’re probably looking for this,” I say, handing it to her.
Crystal presses it into my hand. “It’s yours now. That’s my old one anyway,” she says. “And look. It matches your dress.”
I laugh. “Can you show me how to charge it?”
“Your dress?”
Now we’re both laughing. It feels good to laugh like that. I mean, really laugh, like nobody’s watching.
Ben picks up a butter knife and whacks my arm. “What magic hast thou brought us?”
I stare at him.
“Did you get a lot of good footage?” he asks.
“Not exactly.”
“You still have the camera, right? Don’t tell me you lost it.”
“I left it at Blackwoods.”
Ben puts his head on the table. “This is so not cool.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Whatever,” he says. “It’s not my camera.”
“It’s mine, actually,” says the girl sitting across from us. Another one of the fairies, judging by her wings. She’s so thin, the bones in her wrists look sharp and painful, like they might cut you.
“Sarah?”
The fairy-girl nods. “That’s me.”
“How do you know Tobias?”
“Me and Toby started talking online last summer,” she says, staring down at her empty plate. “At first, he was really sweet. You know. Different.”
Not like other boys.
“Then he starting acting mean,” she says, wiping her eyes. “It was like he changed into somebody else.”
I think about Alice trapped in the backseat of that car. The tears streaking her throat.
“So you met him online?”
“It’s not as lame as you think. I mean, we had these amazing conversations,” she says, looking away. “You’re totally judging me right now, aren’t you?”
Why would I judge her? When I read Alice’s letters,
I always felt like she was right there, whispering in my ear. Sometimes it’s easier, sharing secrets with someone who’s far away.
“When did he stop writing to you?” I ask.
“I don’t feel like talking about it,” she says flatly.
“Please. If you can tell me anything—”
“Toby said we could go someplace. Get away from here. Yeah, it sounds really stupid. But I actually believed him. Why do you even care?”
“Because that’s what he told my best friend.”
Sarah looks at me. I can tell she’s really embarrassed. “I knew he was hooking up with other people. But I didn’t want to believe it.”
For a minute, I think she’s going to start crying. I almost feel sorry for her.
“I haven’t seen him online for a while,” she says. “Toby was going down to Florida to see his grandparents. This was like a week ago. I thought that was kind of weird. I mean, it’s not even Thanksgiving break yet. I keep signing onto Warcraft, hoping he’s online. Pretty lame, huh?”
“So he hasn’t been online?”
“Yeah,” she says. “There’s nothing on his Facebook page either. It’s like he doesn’t exist anymore.”
If you’re not online, you might as well be dead.
“I can’t believe he played me like that,” she says, rubbing her forehead. “And it sucks because he owes me money. A lot, actually.”
“You gave him money?”
Sarah chews her lip. “This is so awkward.”
“What did he need money for?”
“He said it was an emergency.”
Ben laughs. “And you actually believed him?”
“Shut up,” she says.
“It’s not like he doesn’t have a job. Toby works at this canning place up in Gouldsboro.”
“Where is that?” I ask.
“It’s about an hour off US-1. But I wouldn’t bother driving there,” he says. “That place is insane. There’s no way they’ll let you in.”
“If you see Toby, tell him it’s over,” says Sarah. “I don’t ever want to see him again. And tell his new girlfriend to watch her back.”
“Why?”
“Because she’s going to be sorry.”
I’m scared now. But it’s not going to stop me from looking for Alice. If she’s in danger, there’s nobody else that’s going to help her.
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