by Annie Lyons
She woke on one of her days off looking forward to a lazy morning when she caught sight of the newly framed happiness list, hanging beside her bed. Her gaze lingered on ‘treasure your friends’, and at that moment she realized that it was time to visit Gemma. No word of warning, no call or text. She simply got in the car and drove over. It was mid-morning when she arrived. She rang the doorbell and held her breath.
The first thing she noticed when Gemma answered was how much weight she’d lost. A lot of women lose their post-baby pounds but Gemma looked pinched and worn down by life. The second thing she noticed was the look of surprised hope on her face – it was guarded but there nonetheless.
Are you here to forgive me? Please tell me you are.
‘Heather, this is a surprise. How are you?’ she asked with real feeling.
‘Hedda, Hedda, Hedda,’ squeaked a voice as Freddy crawled down the hall at great speed.
‘He’s crawling! Oh my God, you’re crawling!’ she cried, holding out her arms to him. ‘And you remember me, don’t you?’
‘Hedda!’ he confirmed as Gemma moved to one side and Heather scooped him into her arms. ‘Mwah!’ he added, planting a gummy kiss on her face.
‘He remembers me,’ said Heather, her throat scratchy with the threat of tears.
‘You’re his godmother,’ said Gemma. ‘He’s got your picture in his nursery. We talk about you all the time. He misses you.’ I miss you. She didn’t say the words but Heather felt them in the air all the same.
‘I’ve missed him too. Can I come in?’
‘Of course. Sorry. Would you like a coffee?’
‘Please.’
‘Still just milk?’
‘Still just milk.’
‘Hedda, Hedda. Bricks. Bricks,’ insisted Freddy, pointing towards the lounge.
‘He’s obsessed with building bricks at the moment,’ called Gemma from the kitchen.
‘Shall we go and have a play with your bricks, Freddy?’ asked Heather.
‘Bricks, bricks,’ said Freddy, as she set him on the floor and sat down next to him. They made walls and houses and bridges, all of which Freddy eyed with delight as they went up and knocked down with glee as soon as they were built.
‘Well, he’s either going to be an architect or a wrecking ball operative,’ joked Heather as her cousin brought in the coffee.
Gemma laughed. ‘So how have you been?’ It was casually uttered but loaded with meaning.
Heather nodded. ‘I’m okay. I feel as if I’ve come through a storm to a calm and better place.’
‘I’m glad,’ said Gemma with genuine relief. ‘I’ve been worried about you.’
Heather rested her gaze on her cousin and saw the regret and sadness in her eyes. She remembered that look from the last time they’d met except, today, Heather felt a wave of sympathy. ‘When I saw you last, I was angry.’
Gemma nodded. ‘I deserved it. I still do.’
‘Maybe. But there’s only so long you can hang on to anger before it eats away at you. And, in truth, splitting up with Luke has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me.’
‘Honestly?’ asked Gemma.
‘Honestly,’ said Heather. ‘I needed to be on my own, to stop relying on another person to define how I was feeling. And that’s what I’m doing. It was scary at first but now it’s good, really good. I’m living my life, my way.’
Gemma studied her face. ‘You seem happy.’
Heather nodded. ‘I am and I’m done with being angry. I’ve moved on. Oh, and I’ve got a new lodger to help with the bills.’
‘Oh yes?’
‘Mhmm. He’s a guy I work with – Georg – very serious but actually very nice.’
‘Nice?’
Heather shook her head. ‘He’s gay and he’s started seeing someone from the bakery where we work – it’s rather sweet actually. I’m happy to be on my own for a change. I went from grieving for Mum and Dad to leaning on you, to my relationship with Luke. I never allowed myself time to just be Heather. I thought that Luke, marriage, babies, all that stuff were what I needed but actually I need time to be me, to find out what I want from life. And if that includes a husband or a baby one day then great but if it doesn’t, I’ve always got Freddy.’ She kissed her godson on the head.
‘I’m proud of you,’ said Gemma, tears brimming her eyes.
Heather smiled. ‘I’m proud of me too. And what about you? How are things with Ed?’
Gemma stared at the floor. ‘We’re going for counselling. It’s going to take time.’
Heather sat down next to Gemma and nudged her on the arm. ‘You’ll get there. Everyone deserves a second chance.’
‘Even me?’ asked Gemma, scanning Heather’s face for the truth.
Heather put her arms around her friend and pulled her into a hug. ‘Especially you.’
Gemma sobbed and Heather held her, just as her friend had done all those years ago when she needed her most. She’d come to realize that happiness is fleeting, life is short and often peppered with sadness but it’s true friendship that endures and carries you forwards to a bright and brave future.
Fran
Happiness List Thing
1. Accept a world without Andy (too soon!)
2. ‘Digital Detox’ day with kids
3. Go on even more walks with Alan
4. Have dinner with a nice man (NOT a date) & laugh if appropriate
(he is nice and I did laugh)
5. Stop feeling guilty and like Gary (EPIC fail)
6. Take up gardening again (with a little help from Baz & Mum)
7. Work myself into an early grave helping local elderly people with their gardens – most fun I’ve had in ages
8. Get punched in the face by grief and take it
9. Get rid of that bloody uncomfortable sofa
10. Accept a world without Andy and love my world with Gary
‘Now Fran, if I can turn to you, you’ve become involved in this project as a result of losing your husband. It must have been tough to face that at such a young age.’
Fran smiled. ‘It was, although can I just say that I love you for calling me young.’
Anita laughed. ‘You can. So tell us about your part in this project. I believe that Pamela’s husband is also helping you.’
Fran nodded. ‘We’re using the outside space around the hall to create a well-being garden. It started when I rediscovered my love of gardening. Pamela’s husband, Barry, encouraged me to give it a go. I found it really therapeutic. It gave me a break from my grief in a way but I also enjoyed helping other people with their gardens too.’
‘Tell us about the garden.’
‘It’s open to anyone who needs it. Barry and I run sessions where we plan, design, plant – the whole caboodle. We’ve got a vegetable plot and some fruit trees. It’s evolving all the time and it’s bloody wonderful! Sorry, am I allowed to say “bloody”?’
‘I think you just did,’ laughed Anita. ‘Now tell us about this sofa at the centre of the garden. What’s the story there?’
‘Ahh yes, the sofa. Well, it was my husband’s and we decided to use it as a centrepiece because, well, I think it’s comforting and also pretty cool.’ Fran smiled. ‘The point of the garden is to promote well-being, so it’s for people suffering from stress or anxiety and that may be caused by grief. But above all, it’s a haven for the community to help, heal and nurture.’
It had actually been Gary’s idea.
The new sofa arrived as planned. It was everything Fran wanted a sofa to be – lush, plump, comfy without lumps or kinks or feathers poking in her back. She was so pleased with it, she kept going into the living room for an admiring glance and shooing Alan away whenever he slunk towards it.
‘No doggies on the sofa,’ she told him, doing her best to ignore his adorably plaintive stare.
‘What about teenagers?’ asked Jude, lying on it, dangling his smelly Converse-trainered feet dangerously close to the fabric.
‘Don’t you dare, Julian Parker,’ warned Fran.
‘Uh-oh, Mum’s doing her threatening voice,’ said Charlie, wandering in with a pot of yoghurt.
‘And you can take that right back to the kitchen,’ declared Fran, putting her hands on her daughter’s shoulders and marching her in the opposite direction.
‘S’like a Gulag in this house,’ said Jude.
‘I think you need to look up the definition of Gulag again,’ observed Fran. She spotted her scruffy happiness list, now pinned to the fridge with a magnet and smiled. The doorbell rang. Fran’s smile broadened as she walked down the hall to let Gary in.
‘Hello, gorgeous,’ he said, wrapping her in his arms and kissing her in a way that made her insides turn to liquid. She had decided that allowing herself to fall for this utterly charming man was possibly one of the best decisions she’d ever made.
‘And hello to you,’ she murmured, pulling away with a smile and leading him down the hall. ‘Now can you please talk to these children about respecting my new sofa.’
‘Right.’ Gary nodded. ‘Kids, respect your mum’s new sofa. Or else.’
‘Or else what?’ asked Charlie, standing in the kitchen doorway, eating her yoghurt.
Gary frowned. ‘Or else we’ll bring the old one back in.’
‘And then we’ll have two sofas?’ asked Jude puzzled.
‘Mmm, yeah, I possibly haven’t thought this through.’
‘That reminds me,’ said Fran. ‘I need to get in touch with the council to take the old sofa away. Although the idea of sending it to a landfill floods me with all kinds of middle-class guilt.’
‘You could use it in the garden,’ said Gary, his eyes lighting up with the idea.
Fran shook her head. ‘Crazy fool. How would I use it in the garden?’
He fixed her with a look that made her stomach skip with longing. ‘Mock not, young lady. I saw a thing on the Chelsea Flower Show a few years back where they re-upholstered this sofa in moss – it was amazing. That would look fantastic as a centrepiece in your well-being garden and keep a memory of Andy there too.’
‘I love that,’ said Charlie.
‘Yeah – could be really cool, Mum,’ said Jude with a smile.
Fran blinked back tears as she wrapped her arms around Gary’s neck and kissed him. Jude disappeared into the living room. Charlie covered her eyes but peeked through her fingers with delight. ‘You watch the Chelsea Flower Show?’ she teased, arching a brow.
He laughed. ‘What can I say? I really am the perfect guy.’
Fran smiled and kissed him again.
Yeah, and how lucky am I to have met two of them in my life?
Pamela
My Happiness List
1. Just bake
2. Dinner with Matthew and Barry – be in the moment! (DISASTER)
3. Go dancing with Barry? (Not likely)
4. Laugh like we used to! (with Heather instead)
5. Try something new – lovely trip to art gallery with Fran & Charlie (and Gary!)
6. Teach other people how to bake
7. Let Matty go and be kinder to Barry
8. Appreciate what I have & how lucky I am…
9. Treasure the past, live for the present
10. Just love
‘And finally, Pamela, if I could turn to you.’
‘Of course, Anita, lovey – I’m a huge fan of yours.’
‘Thank you,’ laughed Anita. ‘Tell me, what gave you the idea for the Happiness Hub?’
Pamela smiled. ‘It was something Fran said that got me thinking – she told me that my house was like a Happiness Hub. And then we were at the party for mine and Barry’s wedding anniversary, and Heather pointed out how wonderful it was to have the whole community – all different people from different walks of life – in one place and I thought, yes, this is wonderful. We should try to bring everyone together more often.’
‘And this was shortly after your husband had a serious heart attack?’
‘It was, Anita. I thought I was going to lose him. It was terrifying. But I tell you what. It made me realize what is important in life.’
‘And what is important to you, Pamela?’
Pamela looked into the camera. ‘Well, it’s love, isn’t it? It’s family and friends and being kind to one another. It’s about looking after each other in the community and spreading a bit of happiness where you can.’
There were whoops and cheers from Angel and her friends. ‘You said it, Mrs T. You said it!’
Anita smiled. ‘It sounds as if you’ve already struck a chord in your community.’
Pamela grinned. ‘That’s Angel and her mum friends. I’ve been teaching them how to bake and they’ve been teaching me about life. They’re a wonderful group of women – often ignored and unheard by the powers that be. But I’m listening and I’m trying to help if I can.’
‘And what would be your message to anyone who’s interested in what you’ve had to say?’
Pamela patted the notebook by her side. ‘Start your own happiness list. Come along to the hub. Get involved! If you don’t try, you’ll never know.’
‘That’s great advice. You must have a lot of energy to organize all this for the community,’ said Anita.
‘Well, I’ve got my helpers,’ said Pamela, winking at Fran and Heather. ‘And Barry and I are a good team too. Now if you’ll excuse me, Anita, I must get ready for my next baking class.’ Pamela smiled as she made her way to the kitchen. She thought back to the previous week when she’d returned home from the hall feeling worn out to her bones.
As she opened the front door, Pamela was surprised to hear the sound of water running upstairs and the smell of something delicious wafting from the kitchen.
‘Barry? What are you up to?’
He appeared at the top of the stairs, looking pleased with himself. ‘I have taken the liberty of drawing a bath for madam,’ he reported in a mock-butler’s voice.
‘Oh, don’t mind if I do,’ laughed Pamela, walking up the stairs.
‘I didn’t have any rose petals but I did use my best Radox,’ he said with a grin.
Pamela walked into the bathroom and smiled as she noticed the lit candles. ‘Oh, Barry, it’s wonderful,’ she told him, planting a kiss on his cheek.
‘Right, well. I’ll let you enjoy. Dinner will be served in half an hour. Would you like a glass of something?’
Pamela screwed up her nose. ‘I could murder a cup of tea.’
‘Coming right up.’ He smiled, heading for the stairs.
‘And Barry?’
‘Yes, love?’
‘I’m glad I married you.’
‘Well, that’s a blessing,’ he said with a wink.
Yes, thought Pamela, as got ready to sink into her bath. Yes. It really is.
‘As you can see,’ said Anita, smiling and gesturing around Hope Street Hall. ‘The Happiness Hub has become something very special in this community. You can probably hear the music from Heather’s dance lesson and Pamela is now in the kitchen with her bakers – I have to tell you that the smell is incredible. I’m still here with Fran, who will shortly be going out to run a session in the Memory Garden. Fran, could you give the final word on this project – how would you, Pamela and Heather like people to view it?’
Fran smiled. ‘As a place for everyone. It’s somewhere for people to come and find their own version of happiness – whether it be through baking, singing or just being. I think the three of us came to realize how fleeting happiness really is. Life isn’t all puppies and rainbows – it’s hard and sad sometimes, but everything is a moment too. There are dark times but bright ones as well. I know Pamela, Heather and I all agree – you’ve got to reach out for those moments of joy, embrace them and hold them close because they carry you through life. We all need to recognize the things that bring us happiness and try to fill our worlds with them. Life isn’t perfect but if the happiness outweighs the sadness then I reckon you’ve got it sussed.’
&n
bsp; A Letter From The Author
Dear Reader,
Firstly, congratulations. You are now one of my favourite people in the world. You have taken the time to purchase and read this book and have therefore immediately secured a place on my own happiness list in between ‘looking at pictures of pandas playing in the snow’ and ‘thinking you’ve run out of Double Deckers before finding one at the back of the cupboard.’ Exciting times indeed.
Secondly, I hope you enjoyed this book. People often ask me what the best thing is about being a writer and although ‘never having to brush your hair properly’ and ‘Googling George Clooney for research purposes’ are right up there, the thing I love most is when a reader gets in touch and tells me how much they’ve enjoyed one of my stories. Writers spend a lot of time in their own heads (mine is particularly chaotic) so it’s not until your book is unleashed on the world that you truly know if it has had the desired effect. I try to write stories that make people laugh and cry (sorry about that) – that give voice to what readers might be feeling and offer a view of life that is real and true.
With The Happiness List, I wanted to bring together three very different women to see if happiness can be learnt, whilst also considering what the three generations can learn from one another. I hope I’ve managed it.
So if you did enjoy Heather, Fran and Pamela’s story, I’d love to hear from you. You can get in touch via Twitter (@1AnnieLyons) or Facebook (www.facebook.com/annielyonswriter) and please spare a moment to post a review – they’re catnip to authors and readers alike.
Thank you for reading and sharing, and well done for making my happiness list – you are lovely.
Much love,
Annie x
Chapter One
Natalie
‘I don’t love you anymore.’
That was it. Five words delivered so simply, as if he were reading the news.
‘Good evening and here is the news. The marriage of Natalie and Daniel Garfield, which lasted for fifteen years, is over. In a statement today, Mr Garfield said, “I don’t love you anymore.” Mrs Garfield responded by punching him in the face and trashing the house.’