Cross Me

by Geneva Lee

  “Nothing will change that,” I said firmly and meant it. “Nothing.”

  “I should have listened,” she said, “and now everything is ruined.”

  I sighed, wondering how she couldn’t see what I could. “I don’t want you to obey me.”

  She was still crying, but this earned me a rueful snort. “You could have fooled me, X.”

  “I love you. The you that is headstrong and reckless and opinionated and intelligent. Stop me if I’m rambling.” I allowed a small smirk to sneak onto my face.

  “You can keep going.” She bit back a smile of her own.

  I cupped her chin, brushing tears from her cheeks with my thumb. “You are everything I’ve always needed and more than I ever hoped for.”

  “Can I quote you on that the next time you’re ordering me around?” There was a hopeful edge despite her sharp tone.

  “I deserve that,” I admitted. “Every day, I want to be better for you. I try, but I know that choosing me meant giving up a life you could have had and—”

  “This is the only life I could ever want,” she cut me off. “For better or worse, remember?”

  “I do. Do you?” I didn’t know what had brought her here tonight. But I’d lived my life with secrets weighing on my soul. I wouldn’t allow Clara to carry that same burden.

  She hesitated, then tipped her head toward the office. She wanted privacy for what she needed to tell me. We’d been standing here, baring our souls. Whatever came next needed to be said behind closed doors. Blood roared in my ears as my heart pounded with panic. Nothing would change between us, even if…

  I swallowed against the anxiety clawing its way from my chest to my throat. I thought I’d lost her before. I’d faced a world without her. In those moments, I’d operated automatically, allowing instinct to kick in and handle what my mind couldn’t. But that wouldn’t work today. I’d lied. I’d broken my vows to her. I’d sinned. Now the devil had come to collect.

  “You were right,” she said softly as I closed the door. “About Anders. About me and him. He’s…he’s…”

  “In love with you,” I finished for her. I’d seen it. I’d recognized it, because it had been like looking in a mirror. I had seen the love in his eyes—the eyes that looked like mine, but strangely not like our father’s. Was it some trick of genetics? Or some strange, inexplicable magic? My father and his brother shared the same watery blue eyes that felt as infinite and unknowable as the sea. But Anders’s eyes blazed like mine—the brightest tip of a flame. We were explosive, uncontrollable, and determined—and when we finally saw what we wanted, we couldn’t hide it.

  Clara perched on a chair and clasped her hands in her lap. She was waiting for me to say something more, but for once I knew I needed to listen. I took up a familiar circuit of the room, trying to focus the frenzy building inside me.

  “He told me he loved me,” she confirmed in a voice barely louder than a whisper.

  “He does love you.”

  “He thinks he does,” she corrected me.

  “He does,” I said flatly. I stopped in my tracks, only a few paces from her chair.

  “I don’t know why I let myself…”

  “And?” I braced myself for the worst of it. She’d come here full of regret. There had to be more.

  “And what?” She blinked rapidly, trying to process the question.

  “What happened?”

  “He told me he loved me,” she repeated this like it was news. “He wanted…I’m not certain what he wanted.”

  I barked a laugh, my chest relaxing so I could breathe freely again.

  “Are you laughing?” she asked in a strangely high-pitched voice. “A man I barely know thinks he’s in love with me and I’ve spent the last two hours trying to figure out how to tell you that I somehow led him on, and you’re laughing?”

  I closed the short distance between us and sank to my knees at her feet. “I can’t fault a man for falling in love with you. I certainly can’t fault you. Poppet, you have no control over how bewitching you are.”

  “He doesn’t know me,” she said, displaying the stubborn streak I loved.

  “It doesn’t take much. I fell in love with you the moment you warned me about the dangers of smoking.”

  “It took you long enough to tell me,” she said dryly. I’d be righting that wrong for the rest of our lives. “So you aren’t mad?”

  “At you? No.”

  “I thought you couldn’t blame Anders,” she pointed out.

  I pressed my lips into a thin line. “I can’t blame him for feeling the way he does, but he shouldn’t have told you.”

  It was going to make telling her the truth more difficult to bear. I propped my head on her knee. Now that I’d faced the firing squad, I felt a familiar desire taking root in me, but I fought it, knowing that I hadn’t escaped danger entirely. There were other truths to confront tonight. My eyes flickered to the clock.

  “Have somewhere to be?” she asked.

  “Checking the time.” I kissed her knee and she shivered. “I should look in on Elizabeth.”

  “She’s asleep.” Clara sighed and checked the time herself. “I sent Penny in with her. I didn’t know how this would go.”

  “It’s fine,” I said, waving off her apology. Someday, my wife wouldn’t feel the need to apologize to me for every goddamned choice she made. I would make sure of it. “I’ll peek in on her later. Besides, that leaves me and you time.”

  Forty-five minutes to be exact, but I left that detail out. I couldn’t be positive I’d seen to all her needs until I’d seen to all her needs—and I was determined to do that before I told her the truth. Waiting for Edward was important and a ready excuse to be selfish now.

  “We could go to bed,” she suggested.

  “Too far.” I shook my head. There wasn’t time for a change of location and any horizontal surface would do—or vertical for that matter. Hell, no surface at all. I just needed my mouth on her. “I’ve been patient, but it’s been forever since I tasted you.”

  “It’s been days.” Her words snagged as I pushed her legs apart and knelt between them.

  “As I said: forever.” I tugged at the waistband of her pants and caught the elastic of her underwear, urging her to lift her ass to accommodate my efforts. Pulling them off her, I chucked them to the side before reaching up and yanking her ass to the edge of the chair. My palms slid up her silky thighs and pushed them open wider. A fine covering of downy hair dusted her pretty cunt, but above me Clara looked away.

  “I’ve been a little preoccupied and I haven’t—”

  “Don’t apologize to me, Poppet,” I reminded her. There was no need. This was my favorite present. I didn’t mind how it was wrapped. I was more interested in playing with what was inside. I brushed a finger down her weeping sex and she gasped. “I think it missed me, too.”

  Pushing between the folds, I massaged her with my thumb, relishing her soft wetness and the greedy way it swallowed my finger. Spreading her, I lowered until her taste danced across my tongue.

  “Yes, please.” A delicate hand grabbed ahold of my hair and tugged me closer.

  “So demanding,” I teased, still close enough to breathe her in, “but since you asked nicely.”

  “Oh…my…God…” she groaned as I caught her swollen clit between my teeth and sucked on it. I could stay here forever and listen to her make those noises—the sharp, breathy intakes, the loud, joyous moans and every sound in between. My cock could, too, judging by its hardness.

  Clara’s hips rose to buck against my mouth and I grabbed hold of her ass, rocking her against me, urging her toward release. Her muscles tightened and I clamped down, fucking her with unrelenting strokes as she fell apart. Her hands released me, clutching at the sides of the chair as she continued to grind against me through the last aftershocks of pleasure.

  I pushed her back on the chair, blanketing her leg with kisses as I sat back on my heels and watched her eyes close and her body melt
into the seat. She peeked down at me. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes bright. I worshipped her. I needed her to see that so I slowly ran my tongue over my lower lip before bringing my fingers to my mouth and sucking her taste from them.

  Her eyes clenched shut and she shook her head. When she finally spoke, her words were strangled but demanding. “Get off your knees.”

  “My place is at your feet.” I meant that. If I could give up my crown and turn my back on the world, I would happily spend the rest of my life right here doing what I’d just done.

  “Up, X.” There was no room for argument.

  I stood but before I could lean down to kiss her, she’d pushed out of the chair to kneel before me.

  “Clara, you don’t have to.” That wasn’t what this was about.

  “I know that.” She looked up at me with a wicked smile. “I want to, X, because this is my place.” Her hand gripped my cock through my pants, stroking it, as the other worked to loosen my belt. I reached to help but she batted my hand away. The message was clear: she was claiming what was hers. When she pulled it free, she shoved my pants to my ankles and began to press hot kisses through my boxers until I was painfully hard. I fought the urge to lift her up and fuck her as she continued to tease. Instead I placed a steadying hand on her head. Clara seemed to understand that I was struggling to stay under control, because she finally drew down the last barrier between me and her sweet, little mouth. Her tongue met my shaft as I sprang free, drawing up it until her lips popped over the crest of my cock. I groaned as warm heat surrounded me and began to suck with lapping, thirsty draws.

  “Fuck, Poppet,” I ground out as she took me deeper with long, drawing pulls. “You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

  It was true. Clara was always beautiful, but there was something about the sight of her kneeling before me with my cock in her mouth that lit a flame inside me. As much as I was enjoying it—and I was fucking loving it—I needed to be inside her.

  Still, it wasn’t easy to pull away. Not with her eager mouth protesting. My erection bobbed in the cool air and I felt my balls ache. Reaching down, I guided her onto her feet.

  “X,” she said in a disapproving tone, but I stopped her objection with a kiss that effectively silenced any complaints. Clara dissolved into me and my hands slid down to knead her ass.

  “Do you know why I love when you disobey me?” I asked against her mouth.

  “Hmmm?” She was half here, half in a dream. I loved seeing her like this—undone and willing.

  “Because it gives me an excuse to spank you.” I smacked her ass with a hard thwack and she startled out of her daze. I winked as I rubbed the skin still hot from my palm. “I’m mostly kidding.”

  “I don’t think you’re kidding at all.”

  I raised an eyebrow. She might be right about that. I was about to admit that, but her lips crushed against mine again. I allowed the kiss to deepen as I reached down and stroked my cock against the soft skin of her lower belly. After a few minutes, she drew back and glared at me.

  “Are you going to use that?” she asked impatiently.

  “You want this?” I smirked. I loved hearing her say it—hearing her beg for it.

  “I’m not groveling for what’s mine.” She grabbed my cock as if to make her point. I scooped her off her feet and dropped her on the edge of my desk. Sweeping aside papers and pens and photos, I pushed her onto her back and thrust inside her before she could continue her argument. Clara’s legs wrapped around my waist and I gripped her hips as I pounded until my balls began to tighten.

  It was raw and real, but unlike the last few times we’d fucked, she was with me—giving and taking. We needed this. We needed to feel each other.

  “I want to feel you coming on my cock,” I urged her, moving a hand so my thumb could press to her overworked clit. The reaction was instant. She rocketed up, her fingers sinking into my chest for leverage as my own orgasm exploded inside her. Her hips circled, milking me until we collapsed against one another.

  * * *

  It took effort to get Clara dressed without telling her that Edward would be here any moment. I wanted a few more moments with her before our world shifted on its axis, which was made trickier by the fact she was a boneless heap who seemed quite content to stay half-naked on my desk forever.

  “I thought you wouldn’t mind,” she said dreamily, rolling to the side and pulling her legs up.

  “Believe me, I wouldn’t,” I said, rubbing her back and considering the offer, “but it would make taking meetings harder.”

  She smiled, dropping a hand to her belly. “By the way, you woke someone up.”

  “What?” I said, forgetting for a moment that we were running out of time. “This early?”

  “I’m past four months,” she reminded me.

  “Can I?” I asked.

  “Probably not yet, but I doubt it will be long,” she said dryly. “I think he’s going to be strong like daddy.”

  “Him, huh?”

  “This time I’m sure.” Clara had been convinced that Elizabeth was a boy until a sonogram had revealed otherwise. “Care to make a wager?”

  I leaned down and kissed the place where my child grew. “Why bother? You’re having my baby. I win either way.”

  A loud knock shattered the domestic glow and Clara bolted out of her position, pointing to her pants frantically while running a hand up to discover her loose bun had fallen out. She twisted it frantically into place. “Are you expecting someone?”

  “Just a moment,” I called, hoping Edward heard and didn’t let himself in. “Edward’s here. We need to talk.”

  “I’ll get out of your way.” She shimmied into her pants.

  I took a deep breath. “Actually, we all need to talk.”

  She abandoned her efforts to fix herself up. “Why?”

  “It’s easier if I tell you both at the same time.”

  Her eyes narrowed.

  “No more secrets in this family,” I explained softly. I lifted her hand to mine and kissed it before going to the door.

  Edward was leaning against the wall and he rolled into the doorframe, studying us both with eyes that laughed over the rim of his glasses. “Are you two ever not shagging?”

  “Thank you for coming.” I forced a smile. I wasn’t exactly looking forward to wrecking both of their nights.

  “Hey,” Clara greeted him with a smug smile and flushed cheeks. “It’s my marital duty.”

  “Duty fulfilled.” He crossed to her and pointed to her stomach as proof.

  He kissed her cheek and she squeezed him in a tight hug. My chest tightened at the sight of the two of them. Sometimes I was jealous of Clara’s relationship with my brother. It was easier than the one we had. It had been my job to be a role model, a position I’d extravagantly shirked for years. Now it felt like I hadn’t earned his respect, but couldn’t afford a close friendship with him, either. It might risk what he had with my wife, and I didn’t want to divide his loyalty. Someone in this place had to consistently be on her side, since I couldn’t always be counted on to fulfill that duty.

  Edward turned a mock glare on me. “My God, man. She’s already pregnant. You can’t get her more pregnant.”

  “That won’t stop him from trying,” she said in a conspiratorial whisper. “I think he’s trying to produce his own small army.”

  “An army of miniature Alexanders?” Edward crowed. “The monarchy won’t survive it.”

  “When you two are finished.” I rolled my eyes, trying to appear like I was enjoying the good-natured ribbing. On any other evening, I might. But if I was going to stick to my plans, this couldn’t wait any longer.

  Norris slipped into the room quietly, and the smile ran away from Clara’s face. Her bright eyes, so happy moments before, darkened. I tipped my head to him, catching the attention of Edward. He glanced between me and my head security guard.

  “What’s going on, Alexander?” he asked quietly.

&nb
sp; I gestured for them to take seats. They both hesitated before choosing to sit next to each other. Strength in numbers. I was glad they had each other now. Edward wouldn’t be nearly as upset as Clara but he would be angry for her. Clara? I didn’t know how she would react.

  “I need to tell you something,” I began.

  “Like why you’ve been acting the part of a cave man?” Edward guessed and I saw Clara elbow him in the ribs. “Ouch! It’s true!”

  She made a zipping motion with her fingers and then gave me an encouraging, but brittle, smile. “Go on.”

  “I told you both that we discovered our father had a secret son a couple of months ago.”

  “Yes.” Clara’s throat slid on the word.

  “We now know who he is.” I dared a look at Norris, but he made no motion to correct me. I’d called them here to tell them the truth. I could try to soften it—but what was the point? “Actually, we’ve known for some time.”

  “I know,” Clara said to my surprise.

  “You know?” I repeated in a strangled voice, my eyes darting to Norris. How had she found out? If she had known the whole time, why had she allowed Anders to get so close?

  “I knew that you knew,” she rushed to clarify. “I’ve just been waiting for you to tell me.”

  “You knew the whole time?” I said weakly.

  “It was pretty obvious,” Edward jumped in unhelpfully. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to have him here.

  “Do I need to bother, then?” I asked, running my hand through my hair and beginning to pace. Clara’s head cocked to the side as if she was studying me.

  “Who is it?” she called softly.

  “I don’t know where to begin.”

  My brother and my wife shared a look.

  “How about a name?” Edward suggested.

  I was making them nervous. That was understandable. Why I’d kept this from them was less so. I cleared my throat and then fell silent. I couldn’t erase my father’s choices any more than I could hide from them. I closed my eyes and found my voice. “We tracked him down. His mother used to work in the household after Mum died.”