by B. , Ivory
“So after hearing that shit. I was convinced that Jah ain’t love no one but himself. Ladies, that same day I went home and called the abortion clinic and made me an appointment. I was gonna need someone to drive me home afterwards and a way to pay for it. Jah had came and got the lil money he had stashed over at my house like a week before I had nothing, I could of asked him, but I knew he would never give me the money for an abortion. So I went to the only person that was always trying to look out for me but I never took her help. I went to my guidance counselor and told her my predicament, all except the clap. I told her I wanted to go off to school but I was pregnant, I had no intentions of having the baby and didn’t have the money to get an abortion. By the end of the week she had that damn money for me and had agreed to go with me that Saturday because I needed a ride home afterwards. She was scared though; she kept saying she could lose her job for what she was doing if anyone found out. I promised her I would never say anything to anyone and appreciated what she was doing for me.
That entire week I was taking the cocktail of antibiotics trying to get rid of the Gonorrhea so I would be okay to have the abortion. I hadn’t spoken to Jah and he was calling everyone he knew to try and get to me. He even begged Peach’s and offered to pay her if she would talk to me and try to convince me to mess with him again. She told him hell nah! She wouldn’t do it, then called me and told me what he asked her to do.
I was with Tami right, cause she came over out the blue to visit me. I hadn’t been out of that house since I found out I was burning. Tami had convinced me to go out and walk with her so I did. “Keema what’s up with you and Jah? Why y’all beefin?” “It’s nothing Tami, I just don’t wanna deal with his bullshit any more. The next bitch can have him. Fuck that nigga I don’t need him.” “Oh damn, you talking real hard now. Why the sudden change? It’s not like you ain't been know he had a girl from the jump. You chose to be his jumpoff.” “Damn since when did you become such a Jah supporter? And who the hell you calling a jumpoff?” “I was just playing; Girl that boy is so crazy. I was on the phone with him last night.” “Oh yeah, for what?” “Girl nothing, he called asking about you, then we just started politicking, you know how it be.” “Tami I’m not dealing with that boy no more, that’s it.” “Yeah but why?” I started crying and I ended up telling her everything he did. Everything except me being pregnant.” So she got real quiet afterwards right. And I didn’t know why because she didn’t miss saying I told you so any other time.
I ended up staying out for a couple of hours then my stomach started bubbling because those antibiotics ain’t no joke. They will tear your stomach up, then the fact I was pregnant didn’t make it any better. So I grab the bag she was carrying which was actually my Gucci bag she was borrowing and went to get my keys out to go home, when I notice she had a pill bottle in her bag. I read the prescription and it was the same, the same exact prescription I was taking for Gonorrhea. I remember getting a funny feeling about it. And thinking to myself, here I was telling her my business but she didn’t mention she was burning too. I really didn’t think too much of it because shit we were teenagers half the high school had an STD.
Saturday came I had Diarrhea and I was scared as hell. I wasn’t able to eat or drink shit from midnight the day before and I really wanted to drink something because all that shitting had my mouth dry. I don’t remember much that’s all I remember is the doctor being very cold. Like…he had no personality or sympathy in his voice. I saw the nurse dropping some liquid in my IV, I turned my head and started staring at the ceiling, and then I was out. I woke up disoriented; I was confused about where I was for a second. I felt empty. I felt regret over what I did and I started crying. I can remember crying out for Jah. Yup, cried out for that nigga after all he put me through. This one chick who was laying next to me in the recovery room leaned over and told me I would be fine in a little while. Then I heard her talking to the chick next to her about going out later on that night to the club.
I wasn’t even home for two whole days recovering mentally and physically from that damn abortion before I heard some bullshit. Peach’s called me and was like she heard my friend Tami was fucking Jah.” “What? That grimey ass bitch! I knew she was phony. Why didn’t you tell me that was the reason you and her fell out? I would’ve whooped her ass!” Ty screamed. “Girl please believe, I got my ass out of bed still cramping, bleeding and everything. I put some sweats and sneakers on, tied my hair back, Vaselined my face and went hunting for that bitch. I found her snake ass right at her house. I pulled that hoe outta her own house in front of her mother and stomped her ass out. I dragged her down her front steps and gave it to her South Philly style. I mean, I put a whoopin on that trifling bitch she won’t ever forget. Her mother was poppin off. She even tried to jump in but Peach’s and her girl was going to get all up in her old ass. I left Tami on the ground bleeding. When I got half way down the street she started poppin shit. “You the stupid bitch coming over here tryna fight me like I fucked your man. He wasn’t even your man, he was Michelle’s man. You was fucking someone else’s man!” she screamed. “As much as I didn’t want to admit it, it was true.
I was done with Jah for good, I told myself after that went down. It must’ve gotten back to Jah that he was caught out. He called me pleading that he was sorry it only happened once. She came on to him and we were broken up at the time. I didn’t want to hear that bullshit, he was dead wrong for fucking her and he knew it. I’m not even gon lie to y’all. I’ma keep it ahunnit. I fucked him again, after all that. And yes I say fucked cause the love I had felt for him was fading, so we definitely didn’t make love. I knew I just needed to break away from him to get over him, because he still had this type of hold on me to make me fall for his stupid ass. Peach’s came up on the section 8 waiting list and she moved from over Broad Street and got her an apartment in Germantown. That was my out; I moved out of my grandmother’s house and moved in with Peach’s.
Jah and me were officially broke up and I hadn’t spoken to him in like three weeks. Which I was proud of, cause I swear that boy was like a drug I couldn’t kick. Then one day out of the blue he calls Peach’s house and tells me he just got his own apartment. He loved me and wanted me to move in with him. I thought about it, us actually living together doing whatever we wanted, no Michelle in the equation. Then those memories of how he fucked me over with Tami, Michelle and god know who else surfaced and I turned him down. I didn’t want to live with anyone I wanted to be my own woman, get my own apartment be independent and free of drama, especially his type of drama.
A couple of days after he called he got shot. To say I was devastated would be underestimating how I felt. I kept thinkin that maybe I should’ve kept our baby. I freaked out; Went to three hospitals looking for him and still didn’t know his status. I couldn’t get any information because you know when niggaz get shot the hospitals don’t release information. Peach’s was working overtime on the horn getting info from dudes she was dealing with on him. And you know how the streets always getting shit twisted. Bout time a story circulate the hood it’s like 20 different versions. I heard Jah got shot in the chest, the head, even in his dick. One nigga had the nerve to tell her Jah died his second day in the hospital. I started freaking out. I don’t know what happened but Peach’s claim I tried to jump out her third floor window.” The room erupted in laughter. Everyone in that room could imagine Keema getting just that stupid when it came to Jah.
Like two weeks later I was walking down the street looking for Boobie. I heard from Peach’s he had resurfaced from laying low since he shot someone the day Jah got hit up. Guess who I see Boobie, Michelle, and Jah. I started screaming for Jah. I ran across the street and tried to hug him and y’all know the story, he straight dissed me. He pushed me off him like I was diseased and told me to get the fuck off of him. “Yo fuck outta my face!” he yanked my earring with his name out of my ear threw it on the ground and stepped on it. That bitch Michelle was laughing at the whol
e scene. I took off running down the street crying and I could still hear her laughing.
A couple of days later the Feds ran up in Michelle’s house. Jah wasn’t there he was at his own apartment, but it didn’t matter Michelle told the cops that all the drugs and guns were his. Los mom got Jah a good lawyer, and since he wasn’t there when the bust happened they really couldn’t charge him with it, plus no one could find Michelle when his trial came around. He got three years for a previous drug and gun charge but served two. It really hurt me to my heart that he was locked up. I tried to write him and my letters came right back. Jah told me when we got back together that he knew he needed to let me go. I deserved to be with someone who was going to love me right. He loved me enough to let me go and be happy. The funny thing is I was never happy no matter how nice the guy was. I just couldn’t love anyone except that boy. Maybe it’s because I was basing my happiness off the good times with Jah. I don’t know but… I could never be with someone else and feel the same way.
Do y’all know how I knew that nigga loved me? Hold up.” Keema jumped up and rushed upstairs. When she came down she had a box in her hand. She took out a pair of bamboo earrings. One earring was shiny and gold with Jah’s name on it and the other one looked as if it were in dire need of some gold cleaner and it was twisted up. “Look he still had this earring after all this time. And I still had mine.” Keema just continued to cry “Keema y’all done stood the test of times. You and Jah will make it through this trust me,” Lucky said.
You Gotta Go Home
A whole two weeks went by and Jah was still being a stubborn jerk, in Lucky’s opinion Jah was being an ungrateful asshole. He should’ve been grateful that Keema still wanted his ass after all he put her through in the past. Lucky had stayed over with Keema three times within the last week. Both Ty and Tamika had to go to work so it was basically on Lucky to help Keema through a hard time. Ty came over everyday right after work to be with Keema though. It was still stressful for Lucky trying to stay caught up with assignments from her classes and making sure Keema was eating and taking care of herself. She knew Keema appreciated her company though and she could only imagine how hard it had to be for Keema when she was alone. Lucky couldn’t front Keema’s drama was becoming unbearable; she was forever crying and falling out. Everyone was suffering because of Jah’s stubbornness even Los, Nice, Real and Buju she called everyone’s phone crying and cursing out Jah because he was too bitch to answer her calls. Most of the time it was his boys who felt the wrath of Keema’s tongue.
Lucky was finally feeling relaxed and content in her man’s arms as she lay in bed about to doze off. Riiiinnng, riiinnggg, riiinnnnggg, “Who the fuck is that this late?” Carlos fussed knowing most likely it was for Lucky because he rarely used the home phone. “Hello,” Lucky answered. “Lucky that muthafucka! I hate him,” Keema cried, Lucky made a face, rolled her eyes and huffed, when she did that Los already knew who it was. “You know he had the nerve to come here today and not even check if I was still breathing,” Keema sobbed. “Whoa, whoa Keem what? Jah came home?” Lucky asked excitedly. “No. When I got home today I saw that his Porsche was here and the Escalade was gone, so this muthafucka can come and pick up a car and not even check on me!” Keema started coughing violently. “Keem calm down okay, Keem?” Lucky threw the sheets off of her body and sat up “Keema! Calm down,” Lucky was scared for the baby, Keema was way too stressed.
“I called that bastard Lucky he wouldn’t pick up his phone. So I left him a voicemail cussing his ass out about him not even checking on me. That bastard called me back talking bout am I still breathing? And that I don’t have to worry about calling him because I’m worried he not gon take care of his business and pay the bills. Can you believe this? He tried to play me like I’m some money hungry gold digging bitch? Girl, if that man was in my face I would spit on him. I cussed his ass out and had to remind him that his money don’t move me. I was that same bitch that was with him when he was nickel and diming hugging a fuckin block! That same bitch that was cooking, cutting and baggin up crack for the son of a bitch! If he ever come out his mouth like that again we are done. Really done!”
Keema sobbed and started choking, then Lucky heard her start to hurl. Lucky shot up out of bed “Keem I’m coming now okay.” “No the fuck you not! Yo, you don’t see what time it is? Lay ya ass back down. Keema will be fine,” Los barked. “Keem I’m on my way,” Lucky repeated with attitude. Lucky hung the phone up. “Carlos don’t you ever talk to me like that again in front of anyone,” she said coldly glaring at him. Los fell back. He didn’t feel like arguing, as a matter of fact him and Lucky hadn’t in some time now. “Lucky you don’t understand, it’s like you don’t get who the fuck I am. You can’t just run the streets all type of night like this. Shit ain’t sweet in them streets, shit pop off at anytime. That’s all I’m sayin.” “I’m going to check on her okay, you don’t understand. I have to go and check on her, that’s family. She would’ve done the same thing for me.”
Carlos huffed and threw the covers off his body. He was going as well he would be damned if he let Lucky go out by herself. Los threw some clothes on grabbed his burner and drove Lucky to his cousin’s high rise condo after 12am in the morning. Carlos was going to have to talk some sense into Jah; this was getting out of hand. He still sensed Lucky’s attitude “Baby girl I don’t wanna beef, but this shit is getting out of hand, she driving everyone crazy. Yo she even cock blockin. Nice was getting up with this chick and here go Keema calling him at 2 in the morning.” “Well if she getting that out of hand why don’t you talk to Jah? And tell him to bring his selfish ass home.” Los shook his head. “Ma, that’s not our shit.” “Are you sure it’s not? Cause I could swear it’s us sitting in this car about to go check on Keema at what?” Lucky looked at her Rolex “Damn near 1:30am. Baby I know you said we shouldn’t get into this but you gonna have to talk to Jah.” Los looked over at her and pinched her cheek. “A’ight, a’ight. Don’t worry I’ll talk to him.”
When they got into the apartment it was a mess and that was not Keema at all. Keema was sprawled out on the couch with a robe on, her hair was a mess and she looked sick. “Keem did you eat something baby?” Lucky asked. Keema shook her head yes then started coughing. She jumped up and ran to the kitchen vomiting in the sink. Carlos saw that and damn near threw up himself. “Yo Keem you a’ight lil mama?” Los asked with concern. “Yeah, I think I just have a stomach bug,” she lied. “You sure that’s all you got? Man I don’t know, maybe I should’ve broke out the face mask or the hazmat whole body suit before I came up in this bitch.” Lucky laughed and hit him playfully “Shut up.” “Man I’m upstairs.” Carlos announced as he headed for the theater room to give the woman privacy. He had heard enough of the fuck a nigga, girl talk to last a lifetime.
“Keema, now I know you hurting Mama but you gotta stop buggin out. If you stressed this baby stressed you can lose this baby,” Lucky said in a stern tone. Keema knew damn well what Lucky was saying was true, she was the LPN but she couldn’t seem to pull herself together. “I know Luck, I know…I’m trying Lucky,” Keema cried. “Come lie down.” Before they could even get to the couch there was a knock at the door. Keema’s eyes lit up with hope, and then Ty’s voice came through the other side of the door. “Keem open the door.” Lucky opened the door and there stood Ty with tired eyes and her face screwed up. “Keema why you had me come out here if Lucky was here already? What’s wrong now?” Ty asked with attitude. Lucky cut her eyes at Ty to stop with all the attitude.
Ty ignored Lucky’s look as she walked over and ushered Keema to the couch. “Listen Keem I love you, you my girl but fuck Jah. If he wanna play like this then its whateva, you cannot keep stressing like this.” Keema began crying as if someone had died “Oh my god I can’t breathe without him,” she cried and let her body slide from the couch to the floor. Both Lucky and Ty looked at her as if she lost her mind. “I can’t breathe,” Keema repeated through sobs. “If you can’t b
reathe why the hell you still talking?” Ty asked with attitude. Lucky had to purse her lips together tight to fight back laughter, she looked at Ty to say cut it out but Ty sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes. Lucky could sit here and baby Keema if she wanted but Ty wasn’t going to. She bent down and helped Keema up off the floor “Keema! Listen if you lose this baby over this dumb shit I’ma kick your ass! Jah isn’t more important than this baby. Keema listen, stop the bullshit,” Ty demanded with her motherly index finger pointed in Keema’s face. Keema shook her head in agreement. She knew she was acting a fool. Ty pulled Keema into a hug and rocked her back and forth. “Luck you can go I’ll stay here with her.” Shit Ty ain’t have to tell Lucky twice she had enough of Keema and Jah’s buffoonery. She ran upstairs grabbed Los who was dozing off while reclined in a theater chair and headed home to get a goodnight sleep.
The very next day Los decided to pay Jah a visit to try and talk some sense into him. Jah and Keema’s antics were starting to topple over into his own relationship and that wasn’t a good thing. Him and Lucky had been drama free for a while now and he wanted to keep it that way. Jah was lying on the couch in his hotel suite that he’d been calling home for a little over two weeks now. His hand was in a cast and it itched like hell which was a constant reminder of him and Keema’s blow up. He thought about Keema a lot. And he missed her like crazy but he wasn’t going home to her, at least not right now. He would play back that scene of Keema spitting nothing but venom “Jah fuck you, nigga you ain’t shit! I swear to god nigga you ain’t shit! I knew it though that’s why when I got pregnant by your ass I went and handled that quick, cause I knew you wasn’t shit and I didn’t wanna have a baby by your fuckin dog ass!” Go back home to that? Hell nah! He had a peace of mind where he was right now away from Keema’s venomous tongue. He was still mad tight with Keema for aborting his seed, then having the audacity to throw it in his face on some get back shit.