“The gate’s locked up,” Pipes tells me, coming in through the main doors as I walk out from the hallway.
“I’m gonna go lie down with the kids,” Gwen tells me with a hand on my shoulder.
I nod and cross my arms under my breasts as the lights begin to turn off in the main area. I’m a mess and can’t even think about sleeping, not while Sven’s out there, while Shine’s out there. Even though I’m exhausted, my eyes are heavy and my legs feel like a million pounds. I stand by one of the windows in the corner of the main area and intently watch outside. My eyes are trained on the gate and the two prospects standing guard just inside. I will it to open, and for the sound of bikes to come roaring up the driveway, for this to be over.
Hours later, the moons high in the sky and the darkness outside is blurring my eyes. It takes me a delayed moment to realize a flash of something reflective near the gate. Then a mass of darkness falls to the ground. I blink repeatedly, trying to make sense of what I’m seeing. Another dark mass falls to the ground inside the gates and then waves of crouched down black shadows head toward the clubhouse, the gate opening for more to come in. It’s then I see by the glow of the streetlight, men, and a lot of them. Running toward the front door, I’m quickly engaging every lock.
“What’s going on?” Fletcher asks in a hushed tone as he approaches me.
“There’s people outside,” I mouth.
He turns and begins to quietly wake people, telling them to keep their voices down and head for the basement. Thankfully, none of the babies or small children cry. As I watch people disappear down the steps, Pipes walks towards me, handing me a shot gun. The sight of it has my heart beating even faster, and my adrenaline spiking, but Sven’s shown me how to handle guns in the past and how to shoot them over the years. The need to protect everyone has me taking the gun and slowly chambering the shell as I move back toward the door. Pipes takes up a post on the other side of me and we look at one another, listening to whispering voices coming from outside the door. My breathing feels too loud over my raging heart. I just stay focused on Pipes, because I have no fucking clue what to do.
“Should I say something?” I mouth to him, and he shakes his head.
The doorknob turns and we both look down at it, my hand tightening on the gun. There’s more muffled speaking as shadows pass by the windows and hands attempt to open them. I swallow thickly just as a loud bang comes from outside the door and I startle.
“What do you want?” I say loudly out of instinct and Pipes looks at me displeased.
“Hey,” someone finally speaks up. “Just in the area, wondered if we could stay for the night.”
“What club are you with?” I ask.
Silence.
With every moment that passes, my heart bangs harder.
“We just need a place for the night ma’am.”
“I can’t do that,” I state, my voice taking on a tone that sounds stronger than I feel.
“Just open the door a little so we can talk face to face.”
His voice is gruff and creeps me out. My skin crawls, but I try to think of what Sven would want me to do and I know I need to protect these people.
“I open this door and you’re gonna get the barrel of my gun.”
Pipes closes his eyes, knowing that I probably shouldn’t have said that.
“Whoa, whoa, easy now honey. We just need a place to stay. Get your Prez, he knows us.”
“If you know anything about this place, then you’ll know that Warrior of the Gods are tight with the Plantain police.”
“I think you’re overreacting.”
“I think you need to go before the cops get here, unless you want to deal with them.”
By some miraculous timing, sirens sound in the distance. I look at Pipes and he shakes his head and shrugs. I hold my breath, wondering who called the cops, before hearing footsteps and whistled signals to leave, before all falls silent and the sirens pass down Main Street.
SVEN
We ride out to the desert, to where we know they’re keeping Shine. I hope Jasper isn’t playing at some shit, like that she’s not here but Jasper and his thugs are and it will be a meeting about some bullshit they want from us before they hand her over.
I can’t imagine how Owen feels. I know he’s hoping for the best, we all are. But the fact that someone came into Plantain, into his house, and took his wife while his daughter was there, that’s fucked up. My stomach rolls at the thought of that happening to Missy, how I’d be out of my mind looking for her. When I heard Missy over the phone when she got to the scene, I’d never heard someone so scared before. I want more than anything to get back to the clubhouse and tell Missy that Shine is safe. But I have no idea what the fuck this game is.
We ride towards Galaxy Field and, since there’s not shit out here, it’s not hard to miss a red flag blowing in the wind. Owen turns his bike in that direction and we all follow. My head pounds as we get closer and I strain to see something. The flag waving in the air isn’t a flag, but a piece of clothing, soaked in blood and attached crudely to a stick posted in the dirt. I don’t think Owen even turns his bike off before he’s launching off of it and running toward the spot marked with the flag. The group of bikes stop behind us and I take off behind Owen as I hear Joseph shouting for the others to move out toward the perimeter to search.
A dark clump of hair protruding from the ground and blowing in the breeze is what catches my eye. My heart sinks, my feet slowing their pace as I watch Owen for his reaction. He falls to his knees, reaching beneath the dirt and pulling Shine’s lifeless torso into his arms. She’s naked and I can see she’s been tortured. I swallow the ache in my throat, the dryness, and the threat of vomiting is right there. I stand beside Owen, who’s crying and cradling his wife’s lifeless body.
Shine didn’t deserve this. No one deserves this, especially a civilian. This could’ve been Gwen, or Missy, and I thank fuck it wasn’t Missy. Owen screaming for her to wake up has me clenching my fists, helplessness sitting like a rock in the pit of my stomach. Tears and saliva are pouring out of him as he loses himself to the grief.
This moment is too real, too raw, and I feel like I’m intruding. My eyes dart around, searching for my other brothers. A guttural wail tears through the cries and I look down as Owen brushes Shine’s hair away from her face. Rage instantly begins coursing through my veins when I see the marking. “W.G.” burned into her flesh. Her skin mutilated with our club initials, but I know this was done by Jasper. I felt like it was Jasper before this, but now it’s proven.
My mind races to where he might be now and how we can find him, but the sound of the gun hammer wrenches me out of my head just as Owen raises his gun to his temple. My hands instantly push his hand down just as the gun goes off and I fall to my knees to maintain his distance from it. He easily lets go as he begins to weep again.
“He’s a fucking animal. Look at my baby, look at her!” he yells.
I don’t look at her, but at him. His eyes are focused on the woman he loves, the dead body of the woman he loved. The setting sun casts our surroundings in an orange and paints a beautiful sunset in memory of this woman. My Missy’s best friend.
“We’ll find him,” I vow, clearing my throat. “Nothing will stop us. We won’t stop until he’s dead.”
Owen looks at me. “No. Fucking mutilated, unrecognizable, tortured! Like he did to her!” His words become a broken vow towards the end and I nod, slapping my hand on his shoulder.
Hours go by. Milton and some other officers come. How they knew? I don’t know. They take photos of the scene, with Owen standing steadfast beside the shallow grave. Joseph and I discuss what we need to do next, how to handle this before we handle Jasper. I get in contact with Chilly, who’s now living somewhere in the desert. He knows how to track people, and has become a private investigator of sorts for the club. I give the go ahead because I will use anyone and do anything in order to find that motherfucker.
“I can’t
…I don’t want her to look like this. Maven’s gonna wanna see-”
“The girls will clean her up, don’t worry about that. We need to get back to the clubhouse and make sure everyone’s safe. You should spend time with Maven until we find him.”
He shakes his head.
“Owen, you can’t do anything right now. Be with Maven.”
We get Owen and Shine packed up into an ambulance. Milton agreed to have them taken to the clubhouse where Shine can be cleaned up and we can do our own burial. It’s custom in our culture, the club and our heritage to have a funeral pyre. No, Shine isn’t a patched in member, but she deserves to be sent off the way we believe will send her to eternity. The entire time back to Plantain, I try to formulate what I’m going to tell Missy, preparing for her reaction.
When we get there, the clubhouse grounds are pitch black. Pipes, Fletcher and the other prospects we left behind are standing over two bodies on the cement near the gate. Missy comes sprinting out the front door as I park my bike. She’s panting, eyes wild as she looks to me for some sign. Then her head turns as the ambulance pulls up, no lights flashing, no sound. I watch her swallow thickly, her hands gripping the leather of my jacket. She blinks rapidly and her brows pinch together.
“Sven,” she gasps, looking back at me, just as I see Gwen exit the front door and immediately cover her mouth with her hands. Joseph is by her side and trying to get her to go back into the clubhouse.
We all watch as Owen exits the back of the ambulance. He’s broken, his shoulders are slumped in, his eyes are red rimmed, and he just looks so fucking gone. As they wheel out the gurney, a white sheet covering Shine completely, I hear a gasp and a sob come from behind me. I can’t look at Missy, I can’t look over and see the devastation on her face, the breaking of her heart, the devastation of the girl who I’ve always tried to hide away from this and protect from seeing the truth of this life.
No one moves as they wheel her by us and in through the front door. Gwen curls into Joseph who’s shielding her from the sight. I watch as Owen approaches Missy, and puts his hands on her cheeks. His hands look so filthy against her perfect skin. He whispers something into her ear. Her eyes close just before she nods her head, and then he pulls back and runs his thumb along her cheekbone before he also enters the club. I want to ask, but I have a feeling I know. Missy takes my hand with both of hers as we walk inside.
“Owen wants us to clean her up,” Missy tells me in a voice so soft I barely hear her.
I look down at her and see her eyes trained on something but not alert. She’s not present, not aware, and I stop walking. Placing my hands on her shoulders, I turn her to face me. Her eyes are still out of focus, so I dip my head to make eye contact.
“Missy,” I say a few times before I shake her a little and she looks into my eyes. “If you can’t do this…It’s bad. She looks...bad,” I confess in a defeated voice.
A single tear falls from one of her eyes before I swipe it with my dirty fingers.
“I can do it,” she breathes out, blinking as another tear falls.
I bring her forehead to my lips and kiss her, trying to give her some comfort, before she steps away and looks toward Gwen. Gwen’s crying and Joseph has her pulled against his chest, whispering words of comfort to her I imagine. Missy walks over and places a hand on Gwen’s face, whispering to her now too. Moments later, Gwen is released by Joseph and the two women link hands and begin walking toward the hallway where Shine’s body was taken. I’ve never felt this kind of pain before, this ache, this helplessness. I know both of those women are strong and resilient, but I fear them seeing their friend like this, might change everything.
31
MISSY
Gwen and I walk uncertainly down the hallway, not knowing what we’re going to see or if we can even do this. I know if this were me, I’d want Shine and Gwen to take care of me. Shine’s dead. Dead. She’s gone, forever, that’s it. No goodbyes, no I love you’s. Did she know when she was taken that it would be the last time she saw her daughter? I close my eyes to block the thoughts that are bombarding me. Owen’s voice still echoes in my ears.
“Take care of my girl.”
His broken voice, the way his words caught in his throat. This isn’t real, it can’t be. Maven can’t not live her life without knowing what an amazing person her mom was. My heart aches, my chest feels like an open crevasse.
Turning the corner, I see the men who carried Shine in are standing outside an empty apartment. I don’t know where Owen went, but I’m glad he isn’t here. I’m trying to build up my courage and I know seeing him will only break it down. Gwen squeezes my hand, her other hand wrapping around my arm as we get closer. My grip tightens against her, as we use the strength in one another to get through, knowing all eyes have turned to us. I’ve never seen these men look so broken and shook.
“Will you get us some buckets of water and towels?” I ask Stan, who’s closest to the door and he nods.
Pushing the door open, Shine’s on the bed, the white sheet still covering her. What she looks like beneath is what I can’t even begin to pretend I can deal with. Seeing her, actually seeing her will confirm she’s gone. Maybe this isn’t her, maybe they’re mistaken and Shine’s still out there?
“Here you go,” Stan says, setting the bucket of clear water and stack of towels down just inside the door and I thank him before closing the door.
Gwen’s standing there, frozen, staring at the sheet. We have to do this, we have to. Mustering some courage, I walk over to the bed. Reaching out, my fingers pinch the white cloth and hesitate. Thinking better of it, I move closer and kneel, then pull the sheet back to reveal an arm. Shine’s arm. Her skin’s dirty, her fingernails are caked in blood and dirt and broken from defending herself. I close my eyes as my chin quivers and I know this is her. With tears pooling in my eyes, I slowly pull the cloth down to reveal her face and hear Gwen gasp behind me. She’s swollen and beaten, resembling nothing of our sister. The skin around her eyes is black and puffy, her lips are split and caked with blood. Then my eyes zero in on something on her forehead. My fingers run along the damaged skin and then I realize she’s been carved into or something. What fucking animal would do this to someone? Shine never did anything to anyone to deserve this. Gwen kneels beside me, bringing the bucket between us. The sound of water being wrung out from a wash cloth and the feel of it being pushed into my hand brings me back to what we have to do. Gwen removes the rest of the sheet to reveal Shine’s battered body. I think we both notice at the time, the dainty shell necklace we all wear from Hawaii is around her neck, because both Gwen and I raise our hands to touch the ones on our necks.
We clean her, scrubbing the blood and dirt from her skin, revealing more bruises and injuries as we go. I can’t even begin to imagine what she went through, how scared she was. I know instinctively her thoughts were with Maven and Owen. I silently vow to my friend that I will always look after and protect her daughter. We wash her hair and brush it until it’s dry and I think we’ve been in here for hours, but neither Gwen nor I want to be done. Once we finish, we won’t ever see her again. There’s a knock at the door and Joseph delivers Shine’s kimono. He checks in with Gwen at the door for a moment before we dress Shine.
I don’t know how much later, but there’s another knock at the door and it opens slowly. Both Gwen and I look up to see Owen and-Jesus, he looks like shit. Immediately, his face contorts and he’s covering it with his hands and I rise to embrace him. He crumbles in my arms. This big hulk of a man literally curls into me as I struggle to support us both.
“Jesus, what am I gonna do?” he sobs.
All I can do is hold him. My words lodge in my throat and I couldn’t speak even if I tried. After I don’t know how long, Owen lifts his head, inhaling deeply as he looks over my shoulder at Shine, cleaned and dressed.
“I can’t tell Maven. Not yet. I don’t want her to see her mom like…” he trails off and I pat his back. “We’re taking Shine’s
body to the camp grounds at the state park, we can do the pyre there and no one will bother us, and we can spread her ashes there.”
His voice is flat and thick with emotion and it sits heavy in the air. I can’t feel anymore. I’m empty and almost feel high from the lack of sleep and abundance of emotion over the last few hours. Sven comes to the door and I leave Owen as he walks toward Shine. Wanting to give them privacy, Gwen follows behind me into the hallway. Sven wraps me in his arms, tight, so tight, and it grounds me, almost like he’s willing my pain and sadness to soak into him, for him to shoulder it for me. But of course he would, because he always does. Then, I feel Gwen’s body beside mine as Sven pulls her against him too, hugging us both and giving us both a touchstone. We stand there for a long while, just taking the comfort.
“I’m going with Joseph and Rocket to look for Jasper. He’s not far, I don’t think,” Sven finally says, and Gwen pulls away, wiping her face and continuing down the hallway without a word.
I nod against his chest, because right now I want them to find Jasper so I can rip out his fucking throat.
“You all need to stay here until we find him, no exceptions.”
I look up at him, his brow pulling low as he looks at me with such concern, his thumbs pushing the skin of my cheeks back in a repetitive motion. “Heard what happened here before we came…You did good,” he nods.
I sigh and fall back into his chest, drained and exhausted, but I know there’s still more to do.
“Who were they? Jasper’s crew?” I ask.
“Think so…had a few guys posted at Owen and…Shine’s place. Thought maybe the club would come here to distract us and Jasper could get back to the house for Maven.”
“And?”
“All was quiet there,” he tells me, kissing my temple.
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