by Sophie Oak
She opened her mouth to protest.
“Or I’ll call her now and Cal can watch over you. Those are your only options.”
Asshole. She turned and walked into the shower, her hands shaking as she locked the door.
“You have fifteen minutes.” Chase’s voice was as loud as if there was no door between them. “If you aren’t out by then, I’ll break in.”
She walked to the shower, turning it to the hottest setting she possibly could. She turned and looked at herself in the mirror and decided to be honest. She’d decided long ago that she would always try to be honest with herself. It was the only way to stay sane. She might lie to everyone else, but when she was alone and everything was quiet, she could acknowledge truths better left unspoken.
She was grateful to him for not allowing her to leave because if she’d fallen off the wagon tonight, she was really sure the wagon would have stopped, put itself in reverse, and rolled right back over her again and again until she didn’t get up. She could spew bile at him until Tuesday, but here in her alone space, she could say what she wanted to say.
“Thank you.”
She would get through tonight. Tomorrow was another hell altogether.
* * * *
Ben watched Nat close the door and wondered if he shouldn’t be kicking it in already. He didn’t like that closed door between them, and he sure as fuck didn’t like the fact that he had no idea what Chase and Nat’s little conversation had meant. He was on the outside, and it made him edgy. “What were you talking about?”
Chase stared at the door, his face in that stubborn frown that let Ben know he was going to be difficult. He had that frown a lot. It was practically his fucking default expression. “Don’t worry about it.”
Ben was the reasonable half. He actually reminded himself of that quite a bit. It was like a mantra that ran through his head. It had since Ben had been old enough to realize that he couldn’t go wild because one of them had to be sensible, and it wasn’t going to be Chase. “I didn’t sleep with her to hurt you.”
But he kind of wanted to hurt him now. He kind of wanted to plow his fist through his brother’s face, but sometimes that went wrong. He’d punched Chase once because he was being a dickwad douchebag, and Ben had ended up with a migraine for two days.
He was cursed.
Chase just watched the door.
Ben decided to chance the freaking headache. He slapped at Chase’s arm. “Start talking or we’re going to throw down.”
Chase’s chest moved up and down in a long sigh. “I don’t think that will help her.”
“As far as I can tell, you’re not interested in helping her. You just want to fucking keep her away from me.” And that burned. “Do you even listen to yourself?”
“Don’t have to. You’ll always tell me when I say something stupid.”
“What is happening with Natalie? What did you mean about her not being alone tonight? I have every right to know.”
Chase turned, his features going mulish. “Because you fucked her when she thought you were me?”
“Again, didn’t know. And I’m really offended that you would get pissed off about this. It makes me think you had zero intention of sharing her when I always share with you. There have been years when you wouldn’t have gotten laid without me. You find someone as amazing as that woman and you decide to be a possessive asshole? Fine. You want to toss out thirty-five years of brotherhood, fine. But I’m still a part of this business, and you need to tell me what you know about the client.”
Chase strode to the bed and sat down as the shower came on.
Ben put a hand on the door to the bathroom where Natalie was. Fuck. The first woman he’d ever really felt a crackling connection to and she was not only an off-limits clients, but his brother was crazy about her and wanted her to himself. Hadn’t he given up enough for Chase? Why did he have to sacrifice this, too?
“If she has you, why would she need me?” Chase asked quietly.
Ben turned back. “What is that supposed to mean?”
Chase shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. Did you not notice the scars on her thighs?”
He’d felt them, raised lines on her legs, but at the time he’d been more interested in getting his fingers inside her pussy than anything else. “So she was in an accident? I know a little about her history. Is it something that happened to her when she was held captive?”
Natalie, along with Kitten and the other woman, Gretchen, had been kidnapped by a man who used BDSM as assault and battery and rape. Kitten had been held for months, Gretchen for over a year. Natalie had only been with the man for a matter of a few months before she’d managed to maneuver him into a place where she’d used a knife and killed him. And good for Natalie. He’d read that file and even before he’d met her, he’d known she was a survivor. She’d been caught, held, tortured, and she hadn’t broken. She’d fought. She’d done what she had to.
Damn it. Knowing who she was didn’t make him like her less. It made him want her more, and he’d kind of craved her before. Two seconds after he’d come, he’d been getting hard again just thinking about her riding his face, his tongue deep inside that sugar of hers.
Sugar. He hadn’t missed what Chase had called her. Sweetness. The word had played through his brain the whole time he’d been with Nat. Even before she’d walked his way, he’d looked at her and thought about how sweet she would be. Now he had to wonder how much of that had been his reaction and how much had been remnants of Chase.
And he had to wonder if it even fucking mattered since she’d made him feel so damn much.
“I don’t think she got those scars from him,” Chase explained. “She did that to herself.”
Ben stopped, the knowledge hitting him hard. He couldn’t imagine her sitting there hurting herself. “She’s a cutter?”
Chase’s eyes came up, flaring briefly. “She thinks she can get rid of the emotional pain by taking a little physical pain. Know anyone like that? Because I walk through a dungeon full of them every fucking night. We’re all fucked up, Ben. Well, most of us are.”
Yeah, he just might punch his brother. “Screw you, Chase. You think sharing an emotional state with you is easy? I assure you I’m totally fucked up. Constantly feeling what you feel is a goddamn curse. The best thing that’s happened to me lately is hooking up with that pink-haired slice of heaven, and now I get to spend the night wondering what was real and what was you, and I already decided that I don’t give a shit. I just want her.”
And if she was totally fucked up, then maybe he was the one who could help her. Chase was right about that. Ben had started his BDSM training long before Chase had gotten into the lifestyle.
He’d started on Ada.
Chase softened, his shoulders slumping. “God, don’t go there. Please.”
“It’s hard not to.”
“You didn’t really love her,” Chase said, leaning forward. “I think you fooled yourself into thinking you did. It was the first time we’d really been separated, and I think you kind of fell in love with that, too.”
The shower was going, steam seeping from under the door. Natalie liked it hot, it would appear. Ben leaned against the wall, the whole crapalicious day weighing him down. Chase was right. The Navy was the first time they’d been forced apart for more than a few hours. After BUD/S training, they were placed on two separate SEAL teams, and Chase had gone to Iraq and Ben to the ass end of Asia where he’d met his fellow team member, Leo Meyer. Leo had been the team’s sniper. Hanging out with Leo, learning from him, had been a huge turning point in Ben’s life.
“You can’t know that.” The last thing Ben wanted to do was think about Ada because thinking about the gorgeous translator always led to him thinking about her death. And the fact that he’d been in love with her and she’d been in love with Leo.
“I can. Look, I know you hate this whole freaky link thing between us, but it comes in handy from time to time. I know you didn’t love Ada bec
ause I never loved her.”
“You never freaking met her.” Ben felt an odd need to defend her.
Chase shrugged. “I didn’t have to. I felt that fucking bullet hit your shoulder during that raid in Kabul. I nearly passed out when you took that knife to your back. I would be asleep in Baghdad and wake up because I could feel how happy you were sitting around a campfire with your buddies, and I knew damn well one of the reasons you were so fucking happy was that you didn’t have to share them with me. I wasn’t around to screw everything up. Tell me I’m wrong.”
He wanted to tell his brother he was full of shit, but he wasn’t. There had been a deep freedom to those years with the SEALs that he hadn’t felt before or since. Just for a little while, he’d felt almost whole, like he didn’t need Chase to complete him. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
But he had. Even while Chase had felt his joy, Ben had caught the edges of Chase’s misery. Chase had hated everything about Iraq. He’d hated the death and the poverty he saw. He’d shrunk back into himself until his whole squad had given him the nickname “Wraith” because he almost never talked. Silent death. The Grim Reaper. Yeah, he knew how much Chase hated that shit.
“Doesn’t matter,” Chase said, blowing it all off. “But, Ben, in all that emotion, I never once heard her name whispering across my brain. Not once. You didn’t love her. You were in love with the idea of not having to share her with me.”
“That’s not true.” It couldn’t be because he’d wasted long passages of his life if it was.
“You can lie to yourself, but you can’t lie to me. Ashley Donaldson. Eleventh grade. You met her in math class. By the time I walked out of chemistry, I was crazy about her and I hadn’t met her.”
Ashley. Pretty. Tall. Blonde. And very flexible. Yeah, they’d done her in the back of an SUV. Thank god for high school gymnastics. She’d been their girlfriend for two years before she’d left for college.
“Laura Evans from college. I felt that shit from three miles away. Damn, that was a kinky girl. She didn’t even ask who I was when I showed up. She just looked me over, said, ‘Yes, twins,’ and pulled me inside. I think about her a lot, actually.” Chase got a little smile on his face.
Ben got caught up. “Hey, I wasn’t the only one who could find a hot perv. Do I need to mention Sheri?”
Chase’s eyes rolled back. “That was an open-minded girl. And the things she could do with whipped cream.” He looked back at his brother. “I never even knew when you were having sex with Ada. But you knew that I called that little piece of heaven in there sweetness.”
The shower shut off. Her fifteen minutes were almost up, and it sounded like she was taking Chase’s threat seriously.
“She’s the client.” He wished he’d known that before he’d gotten inside her. Would it really make a difference? He was careful. He believed in separating business from pleasure. But he wasn’t sure he wanted to in this case.
“No.” Chase’s words were very precise. “Julian is the client. I’m not fucking Julian so everything is okay.”
His brother was maddening at times. Most of the time. “We’re investigating her.”
“Yes. So it’s up to us to keep track of her. I think the best way to do that is to be on top of her most of the time.”
“She likes to be on top. She needs it.” And he was talking about this why?
Chase growled a little. “Yeah, you would know.”
“I like her.” He wasn’t just going to step out of the way because his brother had decided to be a possessive, idiot asshole. And he wasn’t going to step out of the way because of his moral code. If Chase didn’t see a problem with it, then Ben could handle it, too.
The door opened, and Natalie stood there looking younger than she had before, her pink hair slicked back. She was slender but with nice curves. She needed someone who would make sure she ate three meals a day and indulged in dessert. Natalie looked like a woman who rarely indulged in anything.
He could take care of her in ways Chase wouldn’t even think of.
“I don’t have anything to wear. I should go back to my place.”
Ben quickly crossed and picked up a T-shirt out of Chase’s open bag. “You can wear this. Don’t argue, sweetheart. Just dry your hair and come to bed.”
Her eyes widened. “I can’t sleep with you.”
Chase snorted. “Natalie, you’ve done more than sleep with him.”
She shook her head. “I’m not sleeping with him.”
“Well you wouldn’t be alone. I would be there, too. I’ll make damn sure he doesn’t lay another hand on you.” Chase sent him his patented evil eye.
Ben flipped him off. “Fuck you. Come on, Natalie. You can have the bed. Chase and I will find couches or something.”
Chase frowned. “Nice. First you bring Georgia home and now I get to sleep on a couch. I fucking hate couches.”
Turnabout was fair play. “Well, you were the one who set Georgie on me in the first place. And she’s got it in her head that she’s going to get a job or something. And I’m taking the big couch.”
“No, you fucking aren’t. Damn it. I’m one quarter of an inch taller than you.”
“You might be when you don’t slouch, asshole.”
Natalie’s lips turned up for the first time in an hour. “You’re both seriously deranged, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” Chase said with pride.
“No,” Ben countered. “I’m just like this because of him.”
“What he means is he’s interesting because of me,” Chase explained. “Otherwise he’d be just another bland himbo with an eight-pack and very little going on between his ears.”
Yep. He was risking it. He hauled back and punched his brother firmly in his eight-pack. And then groaned because fuck, that hurt.
Natalie simply watched, obviously completely unfazed by their idiocy. “I’m feeling better about myself every minute I watch you two. I’ll sleep here tonight, but don’t think that means anything.”
The door closed.
“Look what you did.” Chase’s voice went low, the same way it had when they were kids and they were trying to keep something from their nanny. “Now she thinks we’re freaks. And that fucking hurt.”
Ben held his gut, because it still hurt. But he watched the door.
Natalie looked like a girl who just might be able to handle a couple of freaks.
Chapter Seven
Natalie turned, wanting to keep hold of the sweet dream she’d been having. She’d been riding Ben, his cock sliding deep inside, but this time, instead of Chase’s sarcasm interrupting them, she felt him at her back, gently pressing her down. His hands played with the cheeks of her ass, trying to make a place for himself. Twins. She was caught between them and there was no jealousy now, just an overwhelming drive to pleasure.
And she wanted to give. Her need to submit roared back, and in the haze of the dream she didn’t need her armor. They wouldn’t hurt her. They’d been sent to protect her. It was good and right to submit to them. Her guardian angels, one grumpy and the other so sweet he took her breath away.
The gorgeous grump was behind her now, his cock pressing against her asshole.
“Take me. Please, Sir.” She could ask him for this. She needed to be filled with them, trapped, with no way out, but this time the cage of their arms would lead her to heaven.
Nat opened her eyes with a smile on her face.
And then she sat up and screamed.
Chase, because there was no way that sarcastic grin belonged to Ben, merely propped his head in his hand and patted the bed beside him. “Don’t freak out on me, sweetness. Rest. It’s too early for recriminations.”
“It’s also too early for all that…god, Dawson, where the hell are your clothes?”
He was just lying there, his gorgeous body in a centerfold-like pose. “You’re wearing my shirt. I didn’t have anything else.”
“Bullshit. And I’m not wearing your underwear.”
<
br /> He winked her way. “I’m not that big into underwear. I feel better with my junk free to move around. It helps me concentrate. Tell me about Stanley.”
“You’re kidding. You want to interrogate me while you’re naked and I’m wearing nothing but a shirt?” And she should have known he didn’t wear underwear. He’d taken hers the night before.
And god, he was heart-meltingly handsome.
He sighed a little. “Sweetness, we need to get this shit out of the way. The quicker I make sure you don’t go to jail, the quicker we can get to the good stuff. Although I’m perfectly willing to do all that good stuff while I’m investigating. Seriously, it might actually help. I often do some of my best thinking while fucking. I’m a multitasker.”
She closed her eyes, trying to figure out exactly how she felt about the situation. Just days before she would have told anyone that she would be fighting and running out the door, but she felt safe with him. He hadn’t done anything she hadn’t asked him to do except fight with her to keep her safe. Even then he’d sacrificed. And his brother wasn’t any different. They were flip sides of the same gorgeous, completely fucked-up coin. And yes, she admitted, the fucked-up part intrigued her. She peered down at him, taking in everything. Yep. They were totally and completely twins right down to that monster dick that kind of made her mouth water.
“How can you think like that? All your blood has to be in your…you know.”
He grinned, looking younger than he had before. His face was always layered with a worldly, almost pained sophistication, but now he looked lighter. “Don’t mind him. He does this every morning. He’s used to being patient and lying in wait for his prey. Now, tell me about Stanley, gorgeous girl. Did he try to get into your panties?”
She rolled her eyes. “Why does everyone ask that?”
“I ask it because I would try. I even made it easier on myself by getting rid of your panties. All I have to do is get under that T-shirt. Now answer my question.”
She frowned. “It’s hard to take you seriously.”