‘Yes. And Mummy, Daddy’s bought me a new swimming costume, and a towel with mermaids on it. And I wish you were here too, Mummy.’
‘Oh, are you missing me?’
‘Not really.’ The cruel honesty of childhood! ‘But are you lonely?’
‘I’m fine, sweetheart. I’ve got Smartie for company, haven’t I? And Nanny. And all my friends.’
Not that any of them helped to fill the gaping hole in my life. But I did feel better for speaking to her.
‘Bye bye, Mummy. I love you.’
‘I love you too, baby. Take care, and enjoy the rest of your holiday.’
It was nice of Josh to get her to call me, I thought to myself as I sat back in my chair, my phone still in my hand. But then I remembered: it was Mia’s suggestion, not his. I doubted whether he’d have thought of it otherwise. I could count the times on one hand that he’d called me since we split up – only ever about handover arrangements. But then I thought again about what he’d said to me on the day he picked Mia up for the airport. About all his treats being nothing compared with my own input in her life. It had shocked me to hear him talking like that. I supposed that now he was spending time with his daughter, he’d finally begun to realise what he’d missed. I’d tried to put the conversation out of my mind and not dwell on it but it did make me wonder if he was really starting to have regrets about not being there for us, especially Mia, in the past. I sighed. He might be behaving differently, and appreciating Mia more now, but he obviously still couldn’t care less about me. So why did I still worry what he might think if I went out with another man, a man who really seemed to appreciate me and desire me? Josh didn’t even have to know. But if he found out, and it bothered him – it was tough. He was my past. And Craig … just might be my future.
I was still hoping, though, to talk to Sara. I was ninety-nine per cent positive Amber’s little hints about her and Craig were nonsense. Yes, Sara did flirt with him, but surely that was all it was. And although Craig and I had agreed it was best not to let the rest of the group know we were seeing each other, I was beginning to think now that it wouldn’t hurt to mention it to Sara. Apart from anything else, it might just stop her fluttering her eyelashes, shaking her hair and talking to him in that different, annoying voice she reserved for him instead of the bossy, business-like one she used for the rest of us. But when I took Smartie to the park that same evening, Simon was the only one waiting there.
‘Apparently Sara’s away for a few days,’ he said. ‘Not sure where the others are.’
‘Oh, right. Well, Amber’s still not walking Benji, of course.’
‘No, of course, that’s right. Poor old Benj.’
‘And I think Craig’s busy with work – he’s having to stay late in the office,’ I added, looking away and trying to sound completely disinterested. Craig had already told me he might not be joining many dog walks this week for that reason.
We set off on our own, heading across the park, Smartie chasing playfully after Max, wagging his tail happily. I was chatting away to Simon, telling him how much better the flowerbeds looked since his latest gardening weekend, how pleased I was to see so many children playing in the park and older people enjoying an evening stroll now the heat of the day was dying down – so it was a while before I realised how quiet he was.
‘Are you OK?’ I asked him, stopping and giving him an anxious look.
‘Me? Yes, I’m fine.’ He smiled, but his eyes didn’t seem to be agreeing. ‘Nic, while we’re on our own, there’s something I’ve been wanting to say,’ he started, and then shook his head and fell silent again.
‘What?’ I watched his face, wondering what it was he was struggling with. ‘What’s wrong, Si? You can tell me.’
Again, he hesitated, looking away and up into the trees as if something within their branches might help him.
‘Look, I know it’s none of my business,’ he began eventually, still not looking at me. ‘But – I’m sorry – it’s pretty obvious Craig has been, well, making a play for you.’
‘Oh.’ I felt myself flush. ‘Um, well, it’s just, you know, a bit of silly flirting—’
‘OK. As I said, it’s nothing to do with me, of course. But … just be careful. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m sure you know what you’re doing, you don’t need me to nanny you, but, well, Craig’s a nice enough boy—’
Boy, I thought, trying not to smile. Well, yes, of course, he was more than twenty years younger than Simon!
‘—but he’s got something of a reputation,’ Simon was finishing, sounding so awkward and unhappy I could only feel sorry for him. ‘I’d hate to see you get involved … and get hurt. That’s all.’ He turned back to me now, tried to give an uncomfortable little laugh and added, ‘I expect you’ll just tell me to shut up and mind my own business.’
‘No,’ I said, patting his arm. ‘I’m sure you’re only trying to look out for me.’
Surely Simon wasn’t interested in me himself? It seemed unlikely, but at the same time I couldn’t help feeling quite flattered by the thought. And for that reason, as well as the fact that poor Simon obviously felt so awkward having this conversation with me – I wasn’t annoyed by his interference, the way I’d been by Amber’s.
‘Yes,’ he said, managing another smile now. ‘I am looking out for you, of course. But I won’t say any more. Sorry.’
‘It’s fine. I appreciate the warning, but honestly, even if I do, at some point … get involved with someone … I won’t take it too seriously. I’m not looking to settle down with anyone again. Not this soon. If ever.’
There. That should put paid to any misunderstanding. He didn’t need to know, any more than Amber did, that Craig and I were, in fact, already seeing each other, and well on the way to becoming an item. Everyone would find out soon enough. But to my surprise Simon went on, without looking at me now:
‘Not unless you were to get back together with Josh, eh?’
‘What?’ I stared at him. This wasn’t the first time he’d said something like this. I’d surely made it clear enough, hadn’t I? ‘There’s no way that’s going to happen, Si.’
‘I suppose not. It’s sad, isn’t it? After you were together for so long. And it sounds like he was the love of your life, at one time. I wonder what changed.’
I just shook my head. I didn’t want to talk about Josh, and I couldn’t understand why Simon seemed determined to bring him into the conversation, considering he didn’t even know him. Perhaps he felt kind of maudlin about my marriage breakdown because he himself had been happily married to his own wife for so long. Or perhaps he was checking I really was going to remain single – and available…
I quickly changed the subject – and we spent the rest of the walk chatting about other things – mostly the plans for the pet show, of course. He was such a lovely man, I reminded myself yet again when by mutual agreement we eventually turned back, at the far end of the park, to retrace our steps. It was still warm and humid, despite being halfway through the evening, and both dogs were looking too hot and tired for a longer walk. It was a pity, if he really did think of me as more than a friend, that I didn’t return his feelings. It wasn’t because of his age: in fact, in some ways I felt a bit daft for being attracted to someone as young and immature as Craig, but from my point of view, there just wasn’t that same spark with Simon that I felt with Craig.
If I hadn’t been so consumed with these thoughts of Craig and how attracted I was to him, what followed would never have happened – which is why I was totally mortified and overcome with guilt afterwards.
Smartie was very good by now at coming back to me when I called him, so I wasn’t overly concerned by the fact that, when Simon and I approached the area of the park where there tended to be more people, and where we always put the dogs back on their leads, we’d lost sight of them for a moment.
‘Max!’ Simon was calling. He whistled, and called again: ‘Come on, Max. Here, boy!’
‘I thought t
hey were right with us!’ I exclaimed. ‘Smartie! Here, Smartie!’
Two seconds later, we heard them both barking, and Max came bounding towards us, only to stop in front of Simon, barking loudly, and turn around to run back again.
‘What’s the matter, boy?’ Simon said, starting to follow him.
I could still hear Smartie barking, but I couldn’t see him.
‘Smartie!’ I called again, beginning to worry. I ran, following Simon and Max, who suddenly stopped by the fencing surrounding the disused children’s playground. My heart was banging against my ribs. Something was wrong. Max was standing at the fence, barking insistently, and now I could hear Smartie giving frightened little yelps and then whining and whimpering as though in pain.
‘He’s inside the fence,’ Simon said. ‘He must have wriggled through this hole. OK, Max, good boy, well done.’ He fastened Max’s lead. ‘Quiet, now.’
Max, of course, would have been too big to follow his little friend through the small hole, where a couple of the wooden fence stakes seemed to have been vandalised.
‘There’s a cat in there,’ I said. ‘I can hear it yowling. Smartie must have gone in there after it. Give me a leg up, Si – I’ll have to get over the fence—’
‘No,’ he said immediately, handing me Max’s lead. ‘I’ll go. You stay there with Max.’
Before I could even argue the point, he’d thrown his weight against the makeshift fence, pushing out the damaged stakes, and was squeezing himself through the gap.
‘I’ll repair it tomorrow,’ he gasped as he straightened himself up on the other side and ran towards the sound of Smartie’s cries.
Too worried now to stay put, I was on the point of following him with Max when he reappeared, carrying Smartie in his arms.
‘He’s caught his leg on the edge of that slide,’ he said, passing Smartie gently over to me before squeezing himself back through the fence. ‘Let’s get him straight to the vet’s, Nic. He’s going to need stitches.’ He shook his head, sighing. ‘The damaged edge of that slide is razor sharp. The council need to dismantle that before someone gets badly hurt—’
‘Someone has got badly hurt,’ I protested, before bursting into tears as I tried, ineffectively, to staunch the bleeding from poor Smartie’s leg with a tissue from my pocket.
‘Here.’ Simon stripped off the loose cotton shirt he’d been wearing over his T-shirt and gently wrapped it around the wound. ‘Come on, it’s probably quicker to walk to the vet’s from here, than go back for one of our cars. Shall I carry him?’
‘No!’ I cuddled Smartie protectively closer to my heart. ‘I’ve got him.’ I wiped my tears with the back of my hand. How had I let my attention wander like that, so that my poor puppy had ended up getting hurt? I knew the answer, of course. And although Simon was right, that it was the council’s responsibility to remove the damaged equipment rather than just fencing it off with a pathetically inadequate wooden fence, and we needed to let them know how dangerous the slide was before a child injured themselves in the same way as Smartie had done, I couldn’t help feeling ashamed of myself for losing sight of my little pup while I wandered along daydreaming about Craig like a lovesick teenager.
‘Hush, baby,’ I whispered to the whimpering little dog. ‘I’ve got you now. The vet’s going to make you better.’
Simon was calling their emergency number as we walked out of the park.
‘Mr Brent’s still at the surgery. He’s only just finished his evening clinic,’ he said, sounding relieved. ‘Come on, Max, we’re going with them.’ He put his free arm briefly around my shoulders. ‘Don’t worry, Nic, I don’t think the wound’s very deep. It’ll probably only need cleaning, and a few stitches. Smartie will be fine, I’m sure.’
I nodded, sniffing, and we walked together to the vet clinic in silence. I guess we were both thinking how easily, how quickly, the accident had happened – how careful we’d both thought we were with our pets, and what a lesson it was to us, to take even more care.
‘But it was just an accident,’ Simon said eventually, as if I’d spoken aloud. We were sitting in the empty waiting room while Kelly, the nurse, went to tell Mr Brent we were there.
‘I know,’ I said. ‘And thank you for helping, Simon. You don’t need to wait for us.’
‘Of course I do,’ he responded immediately. He leaned across me and stroked Smartie’s fluffy little head. He gave me a sad little smile. ‘What are friends for?’
CHAPTER 27
As Simon had predicted, fortunately Smartie’s wound wasn’t too serious, but because it was quite a long tear, it did need suturing. I waited, nervously biting my lip, while Mr Brent sedated him, clipped his fur away from the wound, cleaned it and stitched it closed.
‘There’s no need for me to keep him in,’ he told me when he’d finished. ‘But he’s lucky; the wound was superficial so it should heal well. I’m giving you antibiotics and anti-inflammatories for him, and we’ll put him into a collar, to stop him from licking the wound. I’d like to check him in two days, then the stitches will need to come out a week later. And no exercise until after that. He’ll be too sore for walks anyway.’
‘Thank you so much.’
‘You’re welcome.’ He frowned. ‘Did you say this was caused by the old play equipment in the park?’
‘Yes. There’s a sharp edge on the side of the slide,’ Simon said.
I sighed. ‘We think he wriggled through the fence, after a cat. It was my fault—’
‘Actually, I’d say it was the council’s fault,’ Mr Brent said at once. ‘They were supposed to have removed all that equipment, weren’t they? I’m sure at your public meeting Sara Buckingham said they’d placed great emphasis on the fact that it was dangerous. It was supposed to be one of the reasons they wanted the park closed.’
‘That’s right. And now they’ve agreed to keep the park open for the rest of this year, to give us time to get them to change their minds, but yes – they were still supposed to remove the old equipment. You know how slowly they work, though.’
‘Well, it’s not good enough, is it? Something like this was bound to happen, with only that rickety fence around the area. It’s lucky it wasn’t more serious. You could probably sue them!’
‘Oh, I wouldn’t want to do that,’ I said hastily. ‘As I said, I should have been more careful – I didn’t see Smartie go through the fence—’
‘I’m not sure that’s the point. And somebody else will sue them if their pet, or their child, gets injured. Would you like me to write to them, and say how concerned I am that Smartie’s cut his leg? Suggest that they’re very lucky his owner – you – aren’t going to sue?’
I glanced at Simon, who’d been listening to this exchange with interest.
‘That could be useful, couldn’t it, Si,’ I said.
‘Very useful,’ he agreed. ‘It ought to push them into some action. Once that eyesore of a play area’s been demolished and removed, we can remind them we’re hoping to raise the funds to replace it with a proper adventure playground.’
‘That sounds a great idea,’ Mr Brent said. ‘My kids would love that.’
‘We won’t actually build it, of course, unless they do eventually agree not to close the park,’ Simon added quickly. ‘Anyway, it’ll take a lot of fundraising, for the materials. I’d do the actual work, though, with some help.’
‘We’re hoping the pet show will raise some of the money we need,’ I explained. ‘We’ve already sold a lot of programmes. And if the weather stays like this, we should have a good turnout on the day. Thank you so much, by the way,’ I added, ‘for offering to be one of the judges.’
‘Oh, you’re welcome.’ He grinned, nodding at the nurse, who was fastening a big Elizabethan collar around poor Smartie’s little neck. ‘Kelly here did a good job of talking me and Andrew into it. Anyone would think you had an ulterior motive, Kel!’
Kelly blushed, shook her head as if in protest, and they both laughed. I frowned, not
understanding what he’d meant, and was about to ask, when I remembered joking with Amber about Kelly sleeping with one of the vets – and the argument that had ensued. It had only been a joke, but perhaps I’d inadvertently guessed the truth. I decided it would be wiser not to go there!
‘Well, thanks again, for everything,’ I told him, instead. ‘I’ll bring Smartie back in two days’ time, then. And if you do feel you could write to the council that would be really helpful.’
‘Would you like me to help you take him home?’ Simon asked when we left the vet’s. I was carrying Smartie in my arms again, of course.
‘Thanks, but it’s fine – it’s not too far now. And you’ve already given up more of your time than you needed to,’ I assured him.
‘It was no trouble at all,’ he said. ‘But if you’re sure you’ll be OK, I think I’ll just take Max home and then go straight back to the park and fix that broken fence.’
‘Really? But it’s getting dark.’
‘I’ve got a lamp,’ he laughed. ‘I know I said I’d do it tomorrow. But if Mr Brent’s going to write to the council, I think the sooner I repair those fence stakes, the better, since it was me that broke them.’
‘They were already broken. Enough for Smartie to get through.’
‘Yes. Don’t worry, I’m going to try to replace them in a way that they can still see the hole Smartie squeezed through. They’ll send someone down as soon as they get Mr Brent’s letter – they’ll be scared someone will sue them. But I don’t want any other dog – or child – to get hurt in the meantime.’
I nodded. ‘Makes sense.’
I wanted to tell him that he was probably the nicest, most thoughtful man I knew. But I was too worried now that any affection I showed him would give out the wrong signal and let him think I was interested in him. Instead, we said goodnight and I hurried home with poor Smartie, making sure he was comfortable and ready to sleep off the trauma of his accident, before going to bed early myself. I was tired out by the worry of it, as well as by the unusual warmth of the night.
The Lonely Hearts Dog Walkers Page 22