And eventually we came to the grand finale. The winners of each category, including Smartie, wearing his rosette awarded for Cutest Puppy, paraded around the arena once again to compete for Best in Show. After much deliberation from the judges, the double rosette, a silver cup and voucher for the pet shop were presented to the owners of a beautiful Persian cat called Millie.
‘It’s reassuring to know there are still some lovely cats in the area, despite all those disappearances,’ Louise said later, as the last people began to leave the park and we finally began clearing-up.
‘Yes. Not all the contestants were from Furzewell, though,’ I pointed out. ‘I’m glad the show was open to surrounding areas too. It would have been a much smaller affair otherwise, and wouldn’t have raised so much money.’
The takings hadn’t been counted yet, of course, but we’d all been overjoyed by the turnout, and were hoping the amount raised was going to exceed our expectations.
I was taking down bunting from the far side of the park when I saw Sara, carrying a sack and checking for litter.
‘We need to talk,’ I said, walking across to her. ‘What did you mean, earlier, about Craig cheating on you? Have you been out with him?’
She gave me an exasperated look. ‘Yes, of course I have.’
‘Recently?’ I said. ‘You’ve been out with him recently?’
‘Well, yes, you could say that.’ She sniffed, as if there was something disgusting under her nose. ‘He took me away for a romantic holiday just the other week.’
I sighed, closing my eyes. So that week, when she was away, she was with Craig.
‘He told me he couldn’t see me that week because he was so busy with work,’ I said, glaring at her. ‘You must have known I was going out with him.’
‘No, I didn’t. I knew you were cosying up to him,’ she retorted. ‘I presumed you realised I was seeing him.’
‘No. How was I supposed to know? He didn’t act like he was going out with you. I just thought you were flirting with him.’
‘Right.’ She glared back at me, obviously not believing me. ‘Well, he’s obviously already got his sights fixed on someone else, but he always comes back to me eventually with his tail between his legs. So perhaps now you’ve got the picture you’ll stay away from him.’
I stared at her. I wanted to say that I’d make up my own mind whether to stay away from him or not, rather than be told by her – it was clear she didn’t have a real relationship with him, whatever she liked to think. But I couldn’t seem to get the words out. I felt stupid, and used. I’d only had three dates with Craig and hadn’t wanted anything serious anyway, but in my mind, if nowhere else, I’d made a complete fool of myself. The clearing up was almost finished. I pleaded a headache and went home.
So much for my new life in Furzewell. Everything was ruined. I felt so mortified and embarrassed, I had no idea how I’d be able to face any of the dog walkers again. Amber and Simon had both tried to warn me off Craig, but I wouldn’t listen. I’d thought Simon was just being overprotective, and I’d suspected Amber of being jealous. I’d had a horrible argument with her over it and might have ruined our friendship – all because I was so stupidly flattered by the attention of a good-looking, smooth-talking cheat. And what about Sara? I’d suspected her of being jealous too – or that she’d just resented me having a bit of fun. Now we’d argued, too, and I couldn’t imagine she’d want to talk to me again, even if I recovered enough to want to speak to her. I wanted to cry. All I’d tried to do was feel good about myself again, after breaking up with Josh, but now I felt worse than ever. What a complete fool I’d been. One of the best days in Furzewell’s history had ended up being one of the worst in mine.
Part 4
* * *
HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS
CHAPTER 31
September arrived, and with it the return to school for me and for Mia. The day before term began, I’d heard her talking quietly to Smartie again about her worries.
‘I don’t want Eddie to be in a different class,’ she said as she lay on the rug in the lounge with her arms around the puppy, stroking his soft head and ears. ‘Who am I going to play with at playtime?’
I pretended I hadn’t heard her, but when I was chatting to her a little later, I casually reminded her that, at playtimes and lunchtimes, everyone from every class would be together so she’d still be able to play with Eddie then. Although I was worried about how she’d cope in class without his reassuring presence, in another way I was beginning to realise it might be healthier for Mia, in the long run, to have to cultivate friendships with other children, those who were in the same year group as her. Healthier for Eddie, too. And hopefully they would still stay best friends.
My concern about Mia, together with the usual busy feeling of that first week of term, was helping to keep my mind off my humiliation and – as the days went by – anger, about Craig. It was a relief to have something positive to focus on instead, and I was really enjoying my job. I’d always loved working with children and at this little village school I felt more than ever like an appreciated member of a small team. It was very rewarding, and getting to know the new intake of reception children was one of the nicest parts of all.
I couldn’t face joining the dog-walking group for the usual walks, though. I walked Smartie early in the morning, before they’d be meeting at the park, and again late in the evening, after Mia had fallen into an exhausted sleep. Her first few days were tough, for us both. She cried at her classroom door, having to be led away from me by her new teacher, and came out of class after school looking sad and tired. As we walked home with Louise and Eddie, I noticed that Eddie, by contrast, seemed quite bright and cheerful, apparently coping better with the change than Mia was.
‘It’ll be OK,’ he reassured her, holding her hand as we all crossed the road together. ‘You’ll soon make some other friends, Mia, and we’ll still see each other all the time, won’t we.’
Louise and I exchanged a smile.
‘He’s surprised me,’ she admitted quietly. ‘He actually seems to be relishing the new class – being with older children and starting lots of new work. But he still talks about Mia all the time. I hope she soon settles down.’
Louise was, of course, the only person I’d confided in about Craig and Sara. She’d put her arms around me, expecting me to be upset and tearful, and I had to explain that I mostly felt embarrassed, cross and stupid.
‘Everyone warned me,’ I said, exasperated at myself. ‘But I thought I knew best. I thought I could just enjoy being with a new man who seemed to like me. To make myself feel better after the separation. Instead, I’ve just ended up feeling ridiculous. It was too soon, and the wrong man – what was I thinking? I’m glad I didn’t sleep with him,’ I added, aware of how close I’d come to doing just that.
‘Well, at least you found out before it had gone on for too long,’ she sympathised.
‘Yes.’
Unlike Sara, perhaps. I kept wondering how long she’d actually been seeing Craig. I hadn’t spoken to her since our brief contretemps at the pet show. It had sounded, at the time, like a very on-and-off thing with her – like she went out with him whenever he had no-one else. More fool her! Although, she had apparently had a week away with him. I felt hot all over with humiliation and anger every time I thought how Craig had lied to me about that week. And needless to say, I hadn’t heard from him since. He was presumably busy with the girl we’d seen him with at the pet show. Despite myself, I kept wondering whether Sara was coping with seeing Craig for the dog walks or whether, like me, she’d stopped going out with the group.
It was Amber who got in touch with me first, a week or so into September. The weather had just begun to turn, summer melting gently into a bright but cool autumn, the colours of the horse chestnut and copper beech trees along the lanes and in the park almost achingly beautiful against the paler blue of the sky. I was walking Smartie across the park, alone as usual, one evening as t
he darkness deepened, when her call came through.
‘We haven’t seen you for a while,’ she said, and waited for me to respond.
‘No. I … well, it’s the beginning of term. I’ve had a lot of school work. New kids to get used to—’
‘Nic,’ she interrupted me gently, ‘I know what happened. Sara told me.’
‘Right. Yes, well, I suppose she would have done. Probably laughing about me making a fool of myself—’
‘That’s hardly likely, is it? She’s just as cross and upset as you are.’
‘Well, it’s her own fault. She should have told me she’d been going out with him.’
‘I did try to warn you that she might have been,’ Amber reminded me, and then she sighed. ‘Anyway, you don’t need to be told that now. Sorry. I actually called to talk to you about your birthday.’
‘Oh!’ I gave a start of surprise. My birthday, at the end of September, was the last thing on my mind. I was amazed that Amber had remembered it. Although we’d kept in touch over the years when we were living in different places, we’d never texted each other birthday greetings or sent cards. And I was aware that things had been a bit cool between us recently anyway, since our silly argument over my joke about Kelly the vet nurse, which Amber had seemed to find so offensive. ‘I was looking at your Facebook profile,’ she admitted now. I could hear the smile in her voice. ‘Just … browsing old photos, as you do. I noticed it then.’
‘Oh.’ I felt quite touched, thinking of her looking at those old pictures, noticing my birthday, calling me about it, despite everything. ‘OK. Well, I wasn’t planning to do anything, really. It’s not a special one.’
‘My mum always says every birthday is special,’ she said. ‘And since we need to hold as many events as possible in the park, we thought it would be nice to have a barbecue.’
‘Who thought it?’
‘Me. And Simon.’ She paused again. ‘We’re the only ones left in the group at the moment. Sara’s only been once or twice, trying to avoid seeing Craig. You’re not coming, obviously for the same reason. And Craig’s not coming, presumably to avoid both of you.’
I would have laughed if I hadn’t felt so mortified. The thought of Simon – lovely, kind, sensible Simon – talking with Amber about me and Craig made me feel even worse than I had before.
‘Have a barbecue, fine,’ I said, more tersely than I intended. ‘But I’m not sure I’ll be there.’
‘So we’re going to organise it for the last Saturday of September – the day before your birthday,’ she went on as if I hadn’t spoken. ‘Meanwhile, how about you and I have a drink one night?’
‘To talk about Craig again, and how stupid I was?’
‘No. To talk about other things. Better things. Anything, other than that.’
I hesitated. She was holding out an olive branch. I’d been so pleased, back in February, to meet up with her again, so grateful that I had my oldest friend here in Furzewell, but I was aware that I’d been neglecting that friendship, seeing more of Louise, deliberately avoiding Amber because I’d been irritated by what I saw as her interference in my so-called relationship with Craig. I’d been wrong, and I needed to make amends now.
‘OK,’ I said. ‘Yes. Let’s do that.’
We made a date for that Saturday, and I went home feeling slightly better.
The new term slowly moved forward and gradually, one day at a time, Mia seemed to be relaxing. The day came when she went into the classroom quite happily in the morning, and came out looking even brighter, smiling and chatting to Olivia P. The following day she asked me if Olivia could come to play at the weekend.
‘Of course!’ I said at once, overjoyed to see she was making friends again, but alarm bells ringing slightly as I remembered the previous problems with the two Olivias. ‘But … what about Olivia S? Will she feel left out?’
‘She’s gone,’ Mia said with a shrug. ‘She’s moved to another school.’
‘Oh, I didn’t realise.’ For a moment, I imagined a scenario where Olivia P, left alone after her soul mate had departed, had now turned in desperation to Mia – despite the fact that during the previous school year, neither of them had bothered much to be friends with her. I hoped she wasn’t going to mess Mia around now. But to my surprise, my daughter was ahead of me.
‘I know they didn’t want to be my friends before, when they had each other,’ she said, ‘but do you know what, Mummy? Olivia kept getting upset at school, because the other Olivia had gone. And I know how sad I used to be, when I didn’t have a friend. So I felt sorry for her, and I asked her to play with me and Eddie at lunchtime.’
‘That was kind of you.’ I smiled at her. ‘And did Eddie mind?’
‘No. Because he’s got another friend too, in his new class, called Zach. So we all play together.’
I gave her a hug. At last, I could really let myself believe that Mia was settling down happily here in Furzewell. Even if I was having some trouble myself.
That weekend, Mia was with Josh, and Mum was off out with the Gruesome Twosome, so I was glad I’d arranged to have a drink with Amber instead of being at home on my own. When I arrived at the Fox and Goose, she was already at the bar waiting for me, and bought me a drink before we found a table by the window.
‘I wanted to fill you in about the pet show,’ she said. I was grateful that she’d avoided any preamble referring to our phone conversation about Craig and Sara.
‘Well, I saw from the WhatsApp messages that the takings have been counted, and it was definitely a success.’
‘A massive success,’ she said, grinning all over her face. ‘Even better than we dared to hope. And did you see the message from Sara, saying that someone came down from the council to see how it went, and actually contacted her afterwards to say they were impressed?’
‘Oh, wow. I didn’t see that, no. That is good news. So have they said they’ll forget the idea of selling the park?’
‘Not yet. But hopefully it’s a good start, and maybe it’s made them think.’
‘Let’s hope so,’ I agreed.
‘Now we just need to keep up the pressure on everyone in the village to use the park as much as they can. Several people have said they’re glad the old playground equipment has gone. They were worried about their kids playing there because it was so dangerous and not very securely fenced off.’
‘Yes, as poor Smartie found out.’
‘Well, the council has already been given an indication of what we’d like to replace it with – if and when they agree not to sell the park, of course. We’re going to have another meeting, to discuss that, and plan our next event—’
‘What next event?’ I asked in surprise.
‘Well, of course, we haven’t been getting together recently to discuss that,’ she said lightly, ‘but Simon and I have been talking, and we think it would be good to hold a bonfire party in November. There’s a whole load of council safety regulations involved, but I called Sara just after I spoke to you, and she’s up for finding out what we need to do. She needs a project,’ she added quietly, ‘to take her mind off things.’
I nodded. I’d been too consumed with my own hurt and embarrassment about Craig to spare much thought for Sara. Perhaps she actually had feelings for him. Was she really that daft?
‘So,’ Amber went on, giving me a pointed look now, ‘we need everyone to come to the next meeting. Just us, the committee. The—’ she hesitated, then went on with a quick little smile, ‘Lonely Hearts Dog Walkers.’
‘Even more appropriate now, that name,’ I said, a bit sourly. ‘When are you having this meeting?’
‘Thursday evening.’
‘Oh. I don’t think I can make it, sorry.’
‘Friday, then.’
‘That could be tricky too.’
Amber sighed, took a gulp of her beer, and put her hand on my arm.
‘Nic, you can’t avoid Craig forever. I know how you must be feeling, but you’re going to bump into each other
sooner or later, and surely the sooner you get it over with, the better. Don’t shake your head – you know it’s true.’
‘Well, he hasn’t even called me since the pet show, when Sara and I saw him with that other woman. How humiliating, not even to be worth a call to dump me.’
She grabbed my hand. ‘All the more reason to face up to him,’ she said. ‘For God’s sake, Nic, don’t let him get away with it – just expecting you to sit at home, waiting till he can fit you in, between dates with the new girl.’
‘He would not fit me in,’ I retorted. ‘I’d tell him where to get off.’
‘So tell him first. Use your anger, girl. It’s what he deserves. He’s so bloody arrogant, he still thinks he can just carry on like that, stringing Sara and you along for as long as he wants. He really does need a kick in the pants, metaphorically of course.’
‘Yes, you’re right, I know. I just – didn’t want to see him or talk to him at all.’ I scowled. ‘And we were not going to talk about him tonight, remember?’
‘Yes. Sorry. Drink up, let’s get another one. But please come next Thursday evening. It’s important. If we – the committee – fall apart now, what hope have we got of keeping the park?’
And again, I knew she was right. I knew I had to go to the meeting. And I knew I had to confront Craig. The question was, which was going to come first?
The Lonely Hearts Dog Walkers Page 25