‘Might have known he wouldn’t have the guts to turn up,’ he said to me as we were all preparing to leave.
‘Well, I can understand it, in a way.’ I nodded goodbye to Sara and Amber as they left. ‘Sara and I gave him a real blasting. He’d have felt pretty mortified, getting both barrels from the pair of us at the same time – whether he admits it or not. It’s going to be hard for him to face us all.’
‘Nevertheless, he’ll have to, sooner or later. He’s a coward, as well as being a cad.’
‘Well, I can’t disagree with any of what you’re saying.’ I looked at Simon, slightly puzzled. ‘But you’re sounding very hostile, Si. It’s not like you.’
‘I’m furious about the way he’s treated you. Both of you,’ he amended quickly. ‘But Sara should have known better. You – you’re new to us, you’ve just come out of an unhappy marriage, so this was not what you needed.’
‘Thank you.’ I was touched. ‘Yes, it was … upsetting. But I’m over it already, honestly. And really, I’d like us all to be able to move on from it.’
We were outside now, on Fore Street, beginning to stroll back along the darkened road. There was a cool breeze, and it was raining, the light from the few streetlamps in the village throwing wobbly reflections back up from puddles in the street. I shivered and pulled my coat closer around me and, as I did, I felt Simon’s arm go round my shoulders.
‘I just hate to think of you being hurt like that,’ he said. ‘You don’t deserve it, Nic. Look, if ever you need someone to talk to – I know it must be hard, being on your own – I’ll always be here for you. I’m very fond of you. I know you probably think of me as an old man, someone of your parents’ generation, but—’
‘Oh!’ I said, horrified and embarrassed. ‘Simon, look, I don’t think you’re an old man at all, it’s not that. You’ve been such a good friend, I really do appreciate your kindness and everything…’
I came to an awkward halt, shrugging and not knowing how to go on. I’d suspected before that Simon might like me – as more than a friend – but decided I’d probably just imagined it. Now I couldn’t find the words to warn him off without hurting his feelings. But before I could go on, he just gave my shoulder a squeeze and said:
‘Good. Well, take care, Nic, and I’ll see you soon.’
And with that, he was off down the road towards his own house, leaving me feeling uncomfortable and confused. I really should have said more, made it clear that I didn’t return his feelings – however fond I was of him as a friend. But perhaps he’d got the message anyway, from my mumbling attempt there? I hoped so. The last thing I wanted was to have to avoid yet another member of the dog-walking group!
The next day, though, I got up early, determined to rejoin the group, no matter what. The sun was shining now, and everything in the park looked bright and colourful – the grass sparkling with the previous night’s rain, the leaves on the trees turning through their spectrum of yellows and golds, the flowerbeds full of Simon’s displays of stunning chrysanthemums and dahlias. I arrived first at the park gates, and was soon rewarded by Smartie’s obvious delight at being back with his doggy friends. As soon as he saw Max, he went into a frenzy of excited barking, running around him in frantic circles with his tail wagging like crazy. Before he’d even got his breath back, he was reunited with Judy, then with Benji and Babette – each encounter prompting another bout of ecstatic barking and careering around. I couldn’t stop laughing, and before long all the others were joining in. It was such a relief that the ice had been broken between us all. There didn’t seem to be any awkwardness with Simon, who chatted as amicably as ever, to me and to all the others, without any reference to our conversation the previous evening. I was beginning to think I’d dreamt it or read too much into it after all.
The only one who was noticeably quiet and subdued was Craig. He had at least turned up, but didn’t join in any of our chat, keeping himself to himself and very much on the edge of the group as we walked. The rest of us merely exchanged knowing looks, but I was sure Sara was just as glad as I was not to have to indulge in conversation with him.
‘It was hard enough even seeing him,’ she admitted to us afterwards. He’d been the first to leave, giving us all a quick nod and a wave goodbye, and she looked visibly relieved to see the back of him.
‘Yes, I’m sure,’ I said sympathetically. Personally, I’d felt absolutely nothing, other than a kind of mild scorn, on seeing him, but then, I hadn’t been as emotionally involved as she was. ‘But if it makes you feel any better, I think he found it excruciating being with us. I’m sure it will get easier.’
‘Well, at least he turned up,’ Simon said, somewhat grudgingly. ‘I really wondered whether he’d ever come again.’
‘Yes, it must have taken a bit of nerve,’ Amber agreed. ‘I’m sure he realised we’d all have been talking about him at the meeting last night, so he deliberately stayed away. But as you said, Simon, he had to face us sooner or later. Face Sara, and Nic, and find out whether we were all going to give him another dressing down.’
‘There’s no point in that,’ Sara said. ‘It’s all been said. He knows what we think of him. I’m just glad he kept quiet. If he’d tried to talk to me today, frankly I think I’d have had to punch him.’
‘Yes. Probably it was for the best,’ I agreed. ‘Well, at least we’re all back together, guys. Even if we have one silent member who’s not too popular with the rest of us.’
‘He needs to earn back our friendship,’ Simon said firmly. ‘That’s the thing.’
We all nodded agreement. But nobody seemed to have any suggestions as to how he’d be able to do it.
CHAPTER 34
Rejoining my friends had made me feel so much happier and more settled, and the next week or so passed calmly and pleasantly. School was good: I’d got to know my new intake of four-year-olds properly now, and I couldn’t stop smiling when I saw how contented my little Mia was, now that she’d made a real friend of Olivia, even though she was still happiest of all when she was with Eddie. Her reading and writing were now among the best in her class, and she was doing much better at maths and spellings. It seemed there was nothing now to hold her back. Even Josh noticed the difference in her, and to my surprise he commented on it when he dropped her home the next weekend.
‘She seems really settled here in Furzewell now,’ he said, watching as she ran into Eagle House to play with Smartie. ‘She talks all the time about school, and Eddie, and Olivia, and the park.’
‘Oh!’ I was surprised. Surprised, to be honest, that Mia shared the details of her Furzewell life with him, when I’d always thought her weekends with her daddy were so thrilling by comparison that she didn’t even give us a thought until she came back. And surprised he’d bothered to tell me. ‘Well, yes, she’s settled down brilliantly. It was always going to take a bit of time.’
He nodded. ‘But she’s obviously happy here now. And that’s down to you, of course. It must have been hard for you. You’ve done well.’
‘Oh!’ I said again, really surprised now. It was unusual enough to have more than a few words of conversation with Josh at handover, and I certainly hadn’t been expecting compliments. I searched his face, wondering if he was being facetious or patronising, but in fact he looked serious – sad, if anything. ‘Well, thanks. Yes, it was hard to begin with, but Mia and I have both settled down now.’
He nodded again, called goodbye to Mia, and turned to go – before suddenly swinging back to face me and adding: ‘Just a thought. Next time, if you like, I could just have Mia from Friday evening till Saturday night. Then I’ll bring her back early in the morning so she’s with you for your birthday.’
‘Oh!’ It seemed to be the only thing I was capable of uttering. To say I was amazed would be an understatement. Josh had barely even remembered my birthday when we were together. Well, not during the last few years, anyway. The time when I’d really needed some support was precisely the time when he seemed to t
urn his back on me. So hearing him mentioning it now that we were living apart was something of a shock. And I’d certainly never have expected him to suggest changing our usual arrangement, to accommodate it. I could only assume Mia must have mentioned it to him. ‘Well, yes,’ I said. ‘It would be nice to have her here for my birthday. Thank you.’
‘Good. See you on Friday week, then.’
I watched him get into his car and drive away, and as I walked back into the house I realised I was feeling more relaxed and peaceful now than I had for years. Finally, Josh and I seemed to be getting on, better than we had in a long time.
As far as Craig was concerned, I think I’d been right to suggest he had in fact found it really difficult to face us all, particularly the first time. Knowing how self-assured – OK, arrogant – he’d always been, I’d wondered at first whether he would just brazen it out, turning up bright and breezy as if nothing had happened, even expecting to carry on the kind of banter and light flirtation he’d been so good at, without showing any remorse whatsoever. It wouldn’t have surprised me. But no, he was not only quiet, to the point of being withdrawn, he was looking very obviously quite chastened. He could hardly meet my eyes, or Sara’s, and if he did, he’d blink and look down quickly at the ground. Within a few days, we’d all become used to this new version of Craig, but couldn’t help wondering how long it was going to last. And then, the day after my unexpected conversation with Josh on the doorstep, I was just getting Mia’s tea ready when I had a very surprising phone call from Sara.
‘I’ve just had an email from Craig,’ she said. She sounded excited – which made my heart sink. I really hoped she wasn’t going to let him talk her into giving him yet another chance.
‘Oh yes? What does he want?’ I said sourly.
‘Don’t worry. Nothing like that. It was very businesslike. He’s offered to draw up plans for whatever we want to do in the park, after we get the council’s blessing to keep it open.’ She paused and corrected herself. ‘I mean if we get their blessing. He’ll do it straight away though, so that we can submit the plans to the council, showing them we are fully committed to making the park a viable community resource. Craig’s suggesting we incorporate – as well as the adventure playground – a new, bigger pool, as I’d hoped, more like a lake, including a boating area. And a properly designed nature walk, and a crazy golf course.’
‘Right. It all sounds very expensive, though, Sara.’
‘He’ll do the plans pro bono. Not through his firm. But having properly drawn-up plans will make a huge difference to how we present ourselves, how seriously the council will take us—’
‘Of course, I agree. But I mean, some of those things themselves sound like they’re going to be expensive to build, or install. If the council lets us keep the park open, we’ve got to fund the installation of any facilities ourselves, haven’t we.’
‘Yes. That’s what we’re fundraising for.’ She paused again. I could almost hear the smile in her voice as she went on: ‘And Craig’s also persuaded his company to invest in us. A considerable sum.’
‘What?’
‘It’s an advertising deal. They get to name something – perhaps the adventure playground – after their company, and they pay for it and maintain it.’
‘Oh my God. Are you joking?’
‘No. I’m going to forward the email to you now. And the rest of the group of course. I just thought … you might like to hear it first.’
‘You’re damn right I did! Thank you, Sara, that’s terrific news. I mean, I know we mustn’t get ahead of ourselves, but it will really help our cause – won’t it?’
‘Absolutely. Councils love this type of thing, Nic. I’m feeling much more confident now about approaching them again when Craig’s drawn up the plans.’
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘Me too. I hope the rest of the committee agree.’ I thought for a moment, and added, ‘Craig’s firm – I didn’t think they were really big and well known enough to want to finance something like this. They must be doing well, though, or have a lot of faith that this advertising idea will work well for them.’
‘Read the email, Nic,’ she replied. ‘Reading between the lines, I don’t think it’s just the company who’ll be stomping up the money.’
‘You think Craig’s contributing … personally?’
‘I … wouldn’t be surprised. He doesn’t say so. But I do get that impression, yes.’
We said goodbye, and a few seconds later my phone pinged with Sara forwarding Craig’s email. When I read it, I knew exactly what she meant, although I couldn’t put my finger on why. Craig certainly hadn’t said he would be increasing his company’s funding personally – I doubt he’d have wanted any of us assuming he was trying to buy our forgiveness – but there was something about the phrasing of his proposal that hinted at this. I was reading it for the second time when Amber called me.
‘I’d like to say we should tell him to stick his offers where the sun doesn’t shine,’ she said without any preamble. ‘But on the other hand…’
‘We can’t afford to. It’s too good to turn down,’ I said. ‘And anyway … I’m the last person to defend him, but don’t you think he might actually be feeling remorse?’
‘Huh!’ She snorted. ‘Well, I suppose it’s possible. Even a dog will feel sorry after his bone’s been snatched away from him.’
I laughed. ‘Simon was saying after the meeting the other week that Craig needed to earn our friendship again. I think this really might be his way of trying to do just that.’
‘As long as it’s only friendship he’s after this time,’ she conceded. And then: ‘Do you think Simon might have had a private word with him? Prompted him to do something like this?’
I hadn’t thought of that. But I could imagine him doing it, of course.
‘Possibly,’ I said. ‘He might have just told him to grow up and be a man – I know he wanted to.’ We both laughed. ‘But I hope not,’ I added. ‘I hope this has come from Craig himself. From his own conscience.’
‘It’ll benefit him too, Nic, if it goes ahead,’ Amber pointed out. ‘Don’t make it sound like he’s some kind of hippie philanthropist.’
‘No, of course not.’ I chuckled. He certainly didn’t fit that description. ‘Well, I guess I’ll see you later, for the walk.’
‘Yes. It’ll be an interesting one.’
And it certainly was, if only for the fact that Craig finally began to speak to us all again. Sara had asked us to reply to her, with our reactions, as soon as we’d read the email, and as our responses were all broadly positive, she’d decided to grasp the nettle immediately, saying: ‘The sooner we get this moving, the better.’
So once we were all assembled at the park gate, she made a kind of announcement, looking rather awkward, but beginning by thanking Craig in very formal tones for his email, and telling him we’d all read his offer and suggestions, and were pleased to accept.
‘Thank you again,’ she added, sounding slightly as if the words were being dragged out of her with hot pliers, but managing a tight little half-smile as she said it.
‘Yes, thank you, great idea, well done,’ we all chorused.
‘OK.’ He coughed. His voice had sounded strained, as if he hadn’t used it for months. Apart from when he’d used it to call Judy, none of us had really heard him speak since the group had got back together. ‘Good. I’ll tell the partners to put the offer of the advertising deal in writing, so we can forward that to the council, and while that’s happening, I’ll make a start on the plans. Well, actually—’ he looked down at his feet, ‘—I’ve started already. Draft plans, obviously. I’ll share them with you all, as soon as possible, then I can amend them as much as we want to.’
We all nodded at each other, and without any further discussion, set off on our walk, as the dogs were becoming restless. Craig walked a little away from the rest of us, as usual, but – without any of us becoming aware of who was doing it – the distance between him and us grad
ually seemed to lessen a little that evening. The following day, there was some tentative social interaction, like you might get with a new neighbour. A How are you, from one of us, a Nice morning, isn’t it, from another. And gradually, very gradually, over the rest of that week, the ice was melting.
‘I wouldn’t say he’s redeemed himself, exactly,’ Simon said one morning when he, Sara and I were waiting for the other two to turn up. ‘You don’t treat your friends the way he treated you two. But at least he’s made an effort. I think he’s tried to show he’s sorry.’
‘It would have been nice if he’d actually said it, though. To me, and to Nic,’ Sara pointed out. ‘That would have gone a long way.’
And when, two days later, that was exactly what happened – Craig called Sara first, and then me, and having admitted he should have done it sooner, made decent and seemingly genuine apologies to us both – I knew I’d been right. Simon had been talking to him. But, to be fair, it didn’t take anything away from the fact that Craig had still found the courage to do it. And it made me feel even more warmth towards Simon. He really was a lovely man. But it was no good: I still wasn’t attracted to him.
CHAPTER 35
Now that everyone seemed happier again, I was looking forward to the barbecue party that the group were planning for the evening before my birthday. Because Mia would be with Josh that night, Mum and I would both be able to go, and I was pleased when Louise told me she’d got the girl next-door to babysit so that she could come too.
‘Half the village seems to be coming,’ Amber told me. She looked pleased and … somehow excited. ‘You’ve obviously made yourself popular since you’ve been back here.’
The Lonely Hearts Dog Walkers Page 27