“Wow!” Lynn exclaimed as she and Jeremy walked up beside me.
They were followed by our other friends. We were mesmerized by the show before our eyes. A smile stretched across my face each time I jumped when the music changed along with the water soaring into the air a few hundred feet. The lights looked like they were shooting up with each burst of water. I laughed when the music changed and heard the song, Uptown Funk. That was unexpected.
We were standing there watching the spectacular show before us when I felt Max squeeze my hand to get my attention. I turned by head toward him. He gently caressed my cheek with the back of his hand. His eyes never left mine as he bended down on one knee.
The breath left my body. I heard gasps from my friends, and knew their attention had been taken away from the fountains.
Johnny spoke to no one in particular. “I knew it.” Then he laughed.
Max reached for my other hand and held them both in his. He took a deep breath before speaking.
“When I met you, I knew I'd met my match.” Everyone laughed. Max cleared his throat and I could hear the sincerity in his words.
Tears filled my eyes. Why is he doing this? Why?
“I know I always said I would never marry, and I meant it at time. But being here with you and your friends on their special day, opened my eyes. It was only a matter of time until we arrived at this moment. How it turns out is all in your hands. I promise you, no one will work harder to make you happy or cherish you more than me.”
I was stunned into silence. Tears filled my eyes and I hung my head in shame of what I had to do. I never wanted to hurt Max. I love him, BUT I knew for sure at that moment, I wasn’t IN love with him.
I felt Max’s hand lift my chin. “Don’t look down, Becky.” The expression on his face was a mixture of sadness and anger.
I shook my head. “I’m so sorry, Max.” He visibly stiffened.
I glanced at my best friend who was looking on sympathetically. She nodded in her support. Lynn wanted the best for me, even when she thought I was making a big mistake. I loved her more for it.
I held onto his hands and tried to make him understand. “You know how much I love and respect you, but that it isn’t the kind of love you deserve to have when you marry. It wouldn’t be fair to you to pretend otherwise. I never meant to hurt you, Max.” It pained me to say those words to him.
Max released my hands abruptly. He stumbled back as if I had punched him. I took a step toward him, but he held up his hand to stop me. I swallowed when I realized we had a small audience who was trying their best to pretend they were not listening to our conversation.
“Don’t. Just don’t, Becky.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “I don’t understand what more I could’ve done.” He looked at me and started laughing.
I looked around at my friends, but they wouldn’t meet my eyes. Except Lynn. Tears were rolling down her cheeks. Jeremy had his arms around her and was whispering in her ear.
Max shook his head and the laughter stopped. “I’ve lied to myself this whole fucking time. I knew you weren’t completely over him, but I thought with time you would be. What a fool I’ve been!” He turned around and started to walk away.
We couldn’t end it this way. I had to make him understand. I walked quickly to catch up with him.
“Max! Please, stop.” I pleaded with him.
He stopped with his back to me. I walked around to stand in front of him. He was looking up and not willing to look me in the face. I get it. Pride. I know I have bruised his ego. But he needs to understand that I NEVER saw this coming. Max has never said the words, “I love you.” Even in his proposal he said “cherish” not love.
In the past two years, he has shown me how much he cares not only with his actions, but his words, too. I don’t dismiss that at all. I do need to point out the fact he has known I have been conflicted with my feelings, but he has always used great sex as a distraction. Now, I see it wasn’t just a distraction for me, but it was for him as well.
“I don’t want things to end this way.” I touched his arm, but he pulled away.
He flicked his eyes down at me and I could see the emotion in them. “How the hell do you think it’s going to end, Becky? Huh?” His voice had risen by the time he finished and I noticed wary glances from passersby.
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” He laughed contemptuously. He spread his arms open wide to everyone around us. “Well, none of us do, either.” He gave me his back again, but looked over his shoulder one more time. “I’m done.” Max walked away and…I let him go this time.
He was much too upset to listen to anything I had to say right now. I dreaded the flight back to New Orleans. I still had things in his house and I knew he would want me to get them as soon as I got there. If he allowed me inside.
Ugh! I just wanted this night to end.
“Becky, are you going to be okay?” Lynn’s voice was filled with concern.
I looked to my left where Lynn stood with her new husband and all our friends. I lifted both my arms up in exasperation before letting them fall and smack the sides of my legs.
“I have no idea anymore, Lynn. Max is too upset with me to listen to anything I had to say. He has been so wonderful to me. More than I deserve, but I don’t love him the way he should be loved. Am I a terrible person to have waited this long to tell him?”
Lynn looked like she about to shed more tears. “No, you’re not a terrible person.” She sighed. “I tried to tell you he was going to propose, but you wouldn’t listen. But…” Her voice cracked a little. “You can’t give your heart to Max, when you already gave it to Chad. As much as I hate to admit it, Chad has always been it for you.”
She’s right. I know she’s right.
I gave my heart away a long time ago and I never wanted it back from him.
“I feel sick.” I walked over to a vacant bench and sat down. Lynn, Taylor and Shelby sat down beside me. Johnny kneeled in front of me.
“Puss…shit! I hate to see you cry. It makes me want to cry, and I don’t do that shit.” Johnny had a serious look on his face. “We’ll go with you to the hotel room and then to his house so you won’t be alone. Won’t we, y’all?”
They all said a resounding yes.
“Thank you.”
Johnny put his arm around me and helped me up. We had to get a cab since we didn’t have the use of Max’s limo anymore. We were a solemn bunch when we entered the hotel. The elevator ride was a quiet one. I received well-meaning arm pats from my friends, but I really wanted to be left alone.
I braced myself for whatever Max would say once I entered the room. I shouldn’t have worried about it because the room was empty. I walked to the closet to get my suitcase and was shocked to see all of Max’s things were already gone.
I couldn’t believe it! He must’ve thrown all his things in his suitcase the moment he walked into the room. The fact he wants to be as far away from me as possible, hurts more than I want to admit.
I heard voices behind me that I tried to ignore. I laid my suitcase on the bed and started grabbing clothes and tossing them inside it. I am usually a very organized packer, but now I didn’t give a fuck.
Lynn loudly said, “Shhh!!!” I didn’t look back to see who she was addressing.
I thought I heard Eric on the phone speaking with someone about the rooms. I didn’t care enough ask questions.
“Becky, don’t you think that can wait until in the morning?”
I was barely holding it together, so my voice cracked a little when I answered her. “I need something to do, Lynn. I’ll go crazy if I don’t.”
She sighed. “Let us help you.” I saw Taylor walk into the bathroom and she brought my makeup bag, brush, and other toiletries.
Eric cleared his throat and got Taylor and Lynn’s attention. They walked over to him for a moment before walking back to the bed.
Eric spoke gently. “The woman at the front desk said checkou
t is at eleven o’clock in the morning. She said that Max informed them he was leaving early, but we would stay the night.”
I nodded. “Thank you, Eric. At least he isn’t kicking us out on the street.”
Johnny touched my arm. “No matter how upset he is right now, sister, Max is a good man. He’ll come around and realize you’re right.” He tried to smile, but it came out as more of a grimace.
I know they don’t understand why I said no to Max. They didn’t know me before I moved to Fairhope. If they did, their opinion just might change. Maybe.
I left out an outfit to wear on the plane and my hairbrush. Everything else was packed up and ready to go. I insisted everyone go to their rooms. Especially Lynn and Jeremy. What a way to spend their wedding night! I could tell all my friends wanted to argue with me, but I put my foot down. In the end, we all agreed to meet in the lobby at seven o’clock. Our flight was scheduled to leave at ten o’clock.
I closed the door after I continuously promised I would be fine. I stripped off the dress I was wearing and put it in the suitcase. I climbed into the bed and touched the empty pillow beside me. It felt strange to not have Max right beside me. This morning seemed like it was a lifetime ago.
I tried and tried to go to sleep. I think I finally drifted off around 4:30, but the alarm rudely blared at six o’clock. I had to drag myself out of the bed and into the shower. I looked in the mirror. BIG mistake! My bloodshot eyes were in competition with the bags under my eyes. In a nutshell, I looked and felt like shit!
I met everyone downstairs around 7:30, instead of the prearranged seven o’clock. They wanted breakfast before we left, but I had no appetite. The girls and Johnny sent me text messages first thing this morning asking me if I was okay.
It was too soon to tell.
Our flight back to New Orleans had me on pins and needles. Eric and Taylor went back to their home in Fairhope, but Johnny and Shelby changed their flights to help me pack. Lynn wasn’t going to let me do it without her by my side. Not only that, but Jeremy’s car was at Max’s house.
I thought I was going to vomit on the ride from the airport to Max’s house. I rode with Lynn and Jeremy, but the concerned looks they kept giving me made me more nervous. I know they meant well, but that still didn’t stop me from wanting to puke.
We pulled into the driveway at Max’s house. I thought about knocking on the door, but I used my key instead. It’s funny how things can change so dramatically. I always felt so welcome here, but now I felt like a stranger.
“Is he home, sister?” Johnny whispered behind me.
I nodded. I sent Max a text message before I got on the airplane to let him know I would stop by his house to get the few things I kept there. I was never so thankful I only had a few changes of clothes in the closet. Max always encouraged me to bring more of my personal belongings. I always held myself back. Now, I know why I did that. I knew this day would eventually come.
He sent me back a one word reply: okay.
My instincts told me to check his office first. That’s where he could be found most of the time.
The door was partially opened, so I pushed it the rest of the way. I saw Max standing at the window with his back to me. I swallowed nervously.
“Max.”
I watched his shoulders stiffen before he turned around. His eyes looked bloodshot and I suspect he got about as much sleep as I did. His eyes scanned my face and I know he saw I was hurting as much as he was. His shoulders relaxed and he sighed before shaking his head.
Lynn spoke nervously behind me. “Do you want me to start getting your things together.”
Max’s eyes snapped to Lynn before he refocused his attention on me. He addressed Lynn, but continued to look at me. “I already have all of her toiletries and clothes in a bag on our bed.”
My breath caught when I heard him refer to it as “our bed.” It didn’t seem real. It felt like I was having a bad dream. Unfortunately, the pained look on Max’s face was a reminder of the reality of our situation.
Lynn touched my arm to get my attention. “Do you want me to stay here with you?”
I shook my head. “Max and I need to talk. I’ll be fine. If you’ll get my things and look around to make sure that’s all of it, it’ll be a big help.”
Lynn squeezed my arm for reassurance. Johnny and Shelby didn’t look like they wanted to leave me, but Lynn and Jeremy ushered them out of Max’s office.
We were alone.
I walked a little farther inside. Max watched every move I made.
“May I have a seat?” I pointed to the loveseat.
Max gestured with his hand for me to sit. I sat down and turned toward him, waiting for him to be seated. He hesitated before making up his mind to sit down beside me. We stayed like for a couple minutes with me watching him watch me. Or vice versa.
I was the first to look away. However, before I could speak, Max held up his hand to stop me.
He sighed. “I know I was an ass to you last night. I let my emotions get the better of me. For that, I’m sorry.” He paused, but I didn’t interrupt. “Do you know what’s really fucked up? I would be okay with us going on as we were before.”
I took a shaky breath, trying not to let the tears on the brim of my eyes fall. “But for how long, Max? We would be pretending, and that isn’t fair to you or me.” I reached for his hands and he took mine in his and held on tightly. I looked away because it was too painful to look in his eyes. “I wish…”
I felt his hand lift my chin and I looked back into his pained eyes. “You wish…what?”
“I wish things were different. I wish I could love you the way you want me to. I wish I could be the one for you. I wish…you were the one for me.” Tears spilled down my cheeks. Max lifted his hands, and with the pads of his thumbs, he wiped them away.
Max leaned forward and kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes and enjoyed his touch one last time. He kissed both of my cheeks. I felt his breath about an inch from my lips. I opened my eyes.
“I have never felt this way about another woman before. Now, I know what it feels like to love someone I never really had a chance with. It’s fucking painful as shit.”
“I’m so sorry, Max.”
He pressed his finger against my lips. “Shhh. Don’t apologize. The truth hurts sometimes, but I respect you more for it.”
Max’s hands were holding both sides of my head. He tenderly touched face with his thumbs. He leaned in and lightly touched his lips to mine for the final time.
“I’ll never forget you, Becky Stevens.”
More tears fell from my eyes and he graciously wiped them away. “I’ll never forget you, Maxwell Roberts. A part of me will always love you.”
He exhaled loudly. “I wish that was enough.” Max’s eyes burned into mine before he looked away.
Max stood up and held out his hand for me to take. I placed mine in his and we walked out of his office. I was surprised to see my friends standing nervously in the foyer. Lynn kept looking back and forth between us. From the look on her face, I know she zeroed in on my tear stained cheeks.
“Are you ready?” Shelby asked me as if unsure it was the right thing to do.
I nodded. I would be lying if I said I didn’t have second thoughts. There was an ongoing war with my emotions.
Max Roberts changed me.
He made me a better person. I grew more comfortable in my own skin than I have ever been before. Max helped me to see how beautiful and sexy he thought I was. That’s a major feat. If it wasn’t for him, I would not be strong enough to know what I must do now.
We walked to the door leading to the garage. I felt Max’s hand touch my back. “Becky.”
I stopped at the door and turned around one more time. He looked resigned to the fact that I was leaving this time and not coming back. “If you ever need anything, I’m just a phone call away.”
I nodded. I didn’t know if I could say the words, but I knew I must. “Good bye, Max.”
&
nbsp; He swallowed. “Good bye, Becky.”
I had to make myself walk out the door. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I let out an unsteady breath as I reached my car. Johnny got in the front passenger seat making Shelby get in the back. The dirty look she sent him should’ve made me laugh, but I was in no mood for it today.
“We’ll be right behind you, Becky.” Lynn hugged me then got into Jeremy’s car.
I opened the door to my car. I kept my eyes down so I would not be tempted to look up. I shifted to reverse and backed out of the garage. I put it in drive and meant to pull away, but I looked up. I knew he would be standing there watching me. And Max knew I would look back at him again. Damn! Why does it have to be this hard? His eyes met mine one last time before Johnny touched my arm to drag my attention away.
“Let’s go home, puss.”
My phone rang. Johnny got it out of my purse. My heart beat faster because I was afraid it was Max.
It was my brother, Trevor. I answered right away.
“Hey.” I know there was no way I could disguise the distress in my voice.
“Is everything okay, Beck? Lynn just sent me a text to call you ASAP. I thought you were going to Las Vegas this weekend. What’s wrong?” Only he could have that big brother demanding voice that I loved so much and needed to hear so badly right now.
I took a breath to try to keep the tears at bay. “Everything. Can you meet me in Fairhope? I’m driving back from New Orleans as we speak. I know you’re busy, but I need you there.” My voice broke at the end of the sentence.
Trevor breathed in deeply. “Shit. You don’t need to be driving while you’re this upset.”
“I have some friends with me. If I need them to, they’ll take over the wheel.”
That seemed to pacify Trevor. “I’ll meet you there, Becky. Let me talk to Claire and I should be on the road in about an hour. We can talk when I get there. Just promise me you’ll pull over and let one them drive if you need them to.”
“I promise.”
“See you soon, sis.”
“Okay.” I managed to squeak out before I ended the call.
What Happens in Vegas...: The Becky Chronicles Book 4 Page 11