He eased back behind the nearest tree to observe her lift her arms above her head and dive from the rock platform on which she stood. Watching her plummet down the length of the falls, his heart leapt to his throat. She hit the water below with a distinctive splash, sending a plume of water shooting up into the air.
Her head emerged from the river just as the water droplets fell back to earth. They sprinkled her head like a light rain and Maggie turned her face up to greet them eagerly. Her eyes closed, a look of pure bliss came over her as the water fell.
Zane had never seen anything so beautiful, not even in his world where the vibrant colors danced. His body was heavy with desire for her. The pull in his chest called him to join her in the water. But he could not. Zane reminded himself he intended to be unpleasant, draw out her negative side. And joining her for a bout of passionate intercourse in the river would not be the way to accomplish the goal.
Gathering his resolve, he rounded the tree. Four determined strides brought him to the river’s edge. His hands fisted on his narrow hips, and he affixed his most angered look. Dammit, that was more difficult than he had anticipated.
He’d spent centuries acting like an affectionate lover in shared dreams. This should be no different. It was still pretending. But somehow this seemed his most difficult part ever.
Zane cleared his throat to draw Maggie’s attention. Her eyes opened wide in surprise, a smile lit her face.
“You came back, Blue Eyes.” Maggie swam for the shore.
“I did.”
Zane watched the water ripple around her in ever-increasing waves, his hands briefly left his hips before he could rein in his instinct to help her from the water.
Realizing his mistake, he crossed his arms over his chest before he spoke. “You look,” his eyes roamed her body from head to toe. “Well.”
Her light brows furrowed down over her eyes. “Where have you been?” She wrapped her arms around her waist in a covering hug.
“Have you not dreamed of me?” Spirits help him, but he wanted to know.
“No.”
Well that answered that, though he suspected as much. He wasn’t a figment of her imagination after all. The only reason he ever appeared in her dream was his own doing. But it still stung a little to hear the admission out loud. He clung to the small hurt, letting the emotion build to give him the strength to continue his plan.
Maggie shifted her weight, looking rather uncomfortable. “Where have you been, Zane?”
“Things needed my attention. Important things,” he lied.
Thick storm clouds darkened the sky around them. He knew her mood manifested weather.
“Did you miss me while you were gone, Zane?”
Only every minute. “Not at all. Why would I?”
She staggered back as though he dealt her a physical blow. Eyes widening with incredulousness, her mouth gaped open as she stared at him. “Y-you didn’t miss me at all. Not even a little?”
He shook his head, unable to force another hurtful lie from his lips.
“But I thought . . .” Her eyes left his, looking down at the grass. “Never mind.”
Acutely aware of her misery over their conversation, Zane’s stomach twisted into a knot. The chilled wind whipped through the trees, ripping the leaves from their branches, and gave evidence of the hurt he caused her. The sky darkened further, the gray clouds taking the sun from view.
This was it. Her turmoil grew each second, now the negative side of Maggie would emerge. This would to work, just a little longer and an awful side of her personality would come to the fore. At least he hoped so, because he hated being this way toward her.
He stepped forward, his hand cupped her chin. Zane forced her head up, making her meet his gaze. She looked uncomfortable, sad. He pushed on.
“Maggie, surely you didn’t think we shared something special. You were just a pleasant side project while I attended to much more important matters.”
She tried to pull away from him, but his firm grip held her, forcing her to look at him. Tears welled in her eyes.
“I-I thought you cared about me.”
I do, more than you’ll ever know. Breaking her heart caused him more pain than he thought possible, but he needed to see this through. Soon her pain would turn to anger and he would see her true self.
“You’re just like Mark.” Her tears flowed down her cheeks. “You pretended to care about me, but you don’t. Why can’t I find someone who is nice and sweet, who will love me like I love them?”
She admitted she loved him, when he was being cruel to her. Instead of getting angry, she became sorrowful. Her negative emotions bled into his corporeal form, sickening him and making his stomach twist in protest. It was his undoing.
Zane gathered her into his arms, her soft body pressed tightly against his own. He tucked her head against his shoulder and his hand brushed down her back in soothing strokes
“Maggie, please stop crying.” Nothing made a man feel more useless than seeing a woman cry. “Please, sweetheart. My heart cannot take it.”
“Why do you care?” she asked, her face still against his sweater. She sniffled and he found the sound adorable.
Okay, that was a first.
He put one hand in the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a conjured handkerchief. Giving it to Maggie, he said, “Here, please dry your eyes. I’m sorry I upset you. It was stupid. I’m stupid. Please forgive me.”
She wiped her tiny nose and blotted her eyes. “You aren’t stupid. I’m the stupid one. How could I even allow myself to believe a man like you would be in love with a girl like me?”
Zane took her shoulders in his strong hands and put her away from him so he could look down into her eyes. “Maggie, you are an incredible woman. You are beautiful inside and out. Any man would be a fool not to love you.”
She scoffed at the remark, ringing the handkerchief in her delicate fingers. “Yeah, right. That’s why Mark never wanted to be with me and you left me too. Hell, I can’t even keep a man in my dreams.”
He’d acted like an ass. Jolan had been an idiot. Making her upset had been the worst idea. How could he ever think Jolan’s plan would work?
“I had to leave, Maggie, but not because of you.”
“Uh-huh. That’s what they all say. ‘It’s me not you’. Well, I don’t buy it.”
He could not reveal what had taken him from her, could not tell her about his kind, but he wanted to say something to convince her of his sincerity. “Maggie, I care for you,” Zane blurted out in honest desperation.
She stilled under his hands. “What did you say?”
He took a deep breath. Surprised as she to hear his admission, Zane realized it was nonetheless true. “I care about you,” he repeated softly, tucking a stray lock of her hair behind her ear.
The dream world around them blurred, morphed into a reproduction of her kitchen. Knowing he had not created the change, Zane found himself impressed by how Maggie effected the change effortlessly. Each time they were together in a dream, she surprised him, not only by how she reacted, but how she manipulated their environment. Her uniqueness’ intrigued him. She intrigued him.
Guiding her to the kitchen table, Zane pulled out one of the chairs. After handing her into the chair, he toed around the chair next to hers. Straddling it, Zane took one of her hands in his and brought her fingers to his chest, over his heart. “Margret Shea O’Connell, you have stolen my heart.”
A genuine smile reached her eyes. “I care for you too, Zane.”
The sound of crying in the background made his head whip around. “What’s that?”
Maggie stood, pulling her fingers from his chest. “The baby.”
“What baby?”
“Ours, silly.”
Curiosit
y made him rise and follow her down the hall. Her bedroom had become a unicorn-themed nursery, complete with an infant in a crib. It looked out at them from behind the white bars, tears streaming down its tiny face. It had her chartreuse eyes and his sandy-brown hair.
Maggie moved with a fluid grace across the room. Reaching over the bars, she lifted the child and nestled it against her bosom. Cradled in her arms, the babe settled instantly, a soft cooing sound signaled its contentment.
They made the perfect picture, mother and child. His family. No, not his, he corrected his wayward thoughts.
This was just a dream. It could never come to pass, but watching the two of them interact so lovingly made him want to make this real.
Maggie brought the child to Zane and looked up into his eyes as she handed him the babe.
The child felt so tiny in his thick arms, like he could break it with a twist of his hand. He looked down into its precious face. Wrapped in a tan blanket, looking very much like a papoose with only its head visible, the child turned to look at him. “Boy or girl?” he asked, pulling his gaze from the babe to find Maggie staring at him with a loving look.
Maggie ran the palm of her hand over the child’s head, in a gentle caress. “Girl.”
“She’s as beautiful as her mother,” Zane commented, enjoying the fantasy. He’d never have this in real life, but could experience the wonder of fatherhood in the dream. And he had Maggie to thank for the experience.
The child, the illusion of a family, Maggie created it all. She gave him this blessed gift, this moment of pure happiness.
Unfortunately, this could not last. At some point the dream would have to end and he would once again leave her to go back to his dimension. The realization crashed down on him, tortured him with the knowledge he would leave this wonderful fantasy behind—leave her behind.
He couldn’t keep doing this. It was just too damned hard. Leaving her ripped his heart into tiny pieces, rending it to shreds. Jolan had been so wrong. This one more dream with her had not made it easier to leave her, but instead it made it damned near impossible to do so. And if he didn’t go now, he probably never would.
Zane handed her the baby. “Maggie I need to go.”
“Where?” As she rocked the baby in her arms, she tucked the corner of her blanket under the child’s tiny chin.
He should tell her he was leaving forever, like in their last dream, but he could not bear to see the hurt in her eyes again. He hurt her once tonight, and utterly refused to do so again. Instead he took the gutless way out. “I’m going to get some diapers.”
She’d never believe that. He cringed, his mind working to try to come up with something better.
“Okay. Be safe.”
The Spirits must be shining down on him. She bought it. Bless that sweet woman for saving him from having to break her heart and his.
Zane gave the child a kiss on her tiny forehead, then kissed Maggie deeply before leaving through the front door of her home. Once outside, he pulled, albeit reluctantly, from the dream . . .
Chapter 25
Zane peeled his arms away from the warm woman lying beside him and rolled from the bed. He looked down as she turned onto her stomach to lie exactly over the spot his body had vacated. One arm snaked under her pillow, hugging it to her face like she would a lover.
Light streamed in around the closed blind in the window to illuminate the room. Morning arrived to bring a sunny day. Maggie would be waking soon which meant he needed to go, but Zane just couldn’t seem to leave yet, especially when he gazed down on the woman he loved.
She looked so sexy lying there. The hem of her gown raised above her knees, gave him an unobstructed view of her thighs. He gently tugged the nightgown down to cover her legs before pulling up the sheet and comforter over her.
It was difficult enough to leave her without the temptation of her body. Zane wasn’t sure he could go. Everything within him screamed to remain by her side. Hold her, comfort her. Be the man she so dearly wanted and deserve. Be the one she could believe in.
Zane wished he could be her everything, and yet he knew it could not be.
He looked down on her, watched her eyes dart back and forth under her lids. Still in the dream, no doubt taking care of their child, Maggie waited for him to return. But he couldn’t.
Not now, not ever.
This had to be the last time he would visit her. Each time they were together made their connection stronger. Trying to leave was akin to trying to rip his arm from its socket—it could be done, but with great effort and pain.
He could not bear to leave her again. This would be the last time he forced himself through this torture.
Brushing her hair back from her forehead, he bent at the waist to whisper in her ear, “I hope you will keep me in your heart, as I will keep you in my heart and mind forever.”
When he stood, the wide grin on her face graced him with its girlish charm. It made his heart soar, gave him hope she might have heard him, if only in her subconscious mind.
She stirred, signaling him the time to take his leave had come. He aimed his magick at the mirror over her vanity. It swirled into a portal as he made his way across the room. His vision blurred and he wiped the lone tear that streaked down his cheek. Tears? He gazed at his wet finger in disbelief. He never cried. A knot formed in his throat.
Zane allowed himself one last look over his shoulder at the slumbering woman on the bed before his form became incorporeal and he pushed back into his dimension.
Maggie struggled to push through the haze of sleep, sensing someone was in her room watching her. Through slitted eyes, she saw what looked like a man wearing jeans and a green sweater. One minute he stood across the room, the next he disappeared.
She wiped her eyes and cleared away the remnants of her dream, before she glanced around her room once more. Everything appeared to be all right. Each item sat in its rightful place—no one was there. She must have been half-dreaming when she thought she saw a man in her room who looked so much like the one from her dream.
And what a wonderful dream it had been. Maggie rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling as she ruminated on what happened in her dream.
It had been over a week since she had last dreamed of Zane. When she first saw him standing by the water in her dream forest, she didn’t believe it was actually him. But when he spoke, all doubts left her. He’d said mean things to her at first, but then confessed he cared.
Maggie wrapped her arms around her waist in a bracing hug, remembering the happiness his proclamation elicited.
“Why can’t I find a man like him in real life?” she asked herself, stretching her arms and legs in opposite directions. “Probably because you talk to yourself like a crazy person.”
Maggie unfolded from the bed, feeling well rested for the first time in years and headed to the bathroom to take care of her morning necessities. Once bathed and dressed, she made her way to her kitchen and retrieved a cup of coffee, more from ritual than from need.
She settled on the couch in the living room and turned on the morning news. As interviews played in the background, her thoughts returned to the previous night’s dream. She remembered the way Zane had regarded the infant in his arms. The look on his face, a combination of awe and wonder, made him seem like he was afraid he would break it.
Maggie chuckled. Even in her dreams, a man was still a man. They all seemed a little afraid of babies, at least of holding them for the first time.
But Zane got over his discomfort fast, much quicker than a real man would. By the time he handed the little girl back, he seemed relaxed and happy at least for a minute, then his face darkened.
I’m going to get some diapers.
Those were the last words he uttered before walking out the door. She awoke from the dream before he could co
me back.
Maggie sighed, wondering what might have happened if she had stayed asleep. Would they have made love, like they had in the dream on the deserted island?
She had to admit, dreams with Zane were never boring. Sheesh, why couldn’t she find a nice man in the real world? He didn’t have to be as handsome or sexy as Zane, just someone who would treat her with respect and love her.
The way Zane did.
Maggie took a sip of coffee. She had it bad for her dream guy. She’d confessed she cared about him in their dream and she really did. In fact, if she was honest with herself, she would admit her feeling bordered on love.
“You’ve got to get over him, Maggie. It does no good to sit here wishing he was real. You’ve got to get out there and find yourself a real man.”
Deciding her pep talk was good advice, Maggie pushed off the couch, determined to do just that.
Chapter 26
I’m going to get some diapers.
Those had been his last words to Maggie in the dream. How could he have left without saying something better? He would forever regret the last thing said to her.
Going back to Maggie again had been a mistake. Their shared dream had been so vivid, too similar to what it would be like to be with her in the real world. Instead of getting her out of his system, the visit lodged her deeper in his soul.
He battled constantly not to go visit her in her dreams. Willing to take whatever he could get, Zane entertained living with her, if only in her dreams. And that was not a good thing.
That would be no life—not for her or him. She deserved so much more. Maggie should have a real man, a person who could be with her. Someone who would love her, give her a child to love and adore. A man who could protect her, be there for her when she needed him.
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