I kissed her neck, licked her collarbone and the sweet taste of her sweat had me drunk. “Damn, you taste good.” I rolled off and pulled her into my arms. “I’m sorry if I upset you, Vivi.”
“You didn’t. You were honest and I appreciate it. But I think we need a little distance. Not forever but just until it’s not so weird to be together and not do…this.”
“So you don’t want to see me?”
“I always want to see you, Nash, and that’s the problem. I need to finish my story so I’m going away for a few days. See if you can get in touch with one of the McInnis lawyers while I’m gone.”
Sucker punched. That’s how I felt. Like she wielded a mallet and struck me right in the fucking gut. I only heard one thing. “You’re leaving?”
“Just for a few days to clear my head and give Kade and Amber the ending they deserve.”
“And our ending?”
She sighed heavily and tried to move out of my embrace but I wasn’t having it. “Nash, we don’t have an ending. You want us to go back to being friends and I intend to respect that.”
“So, you don’t want to be friends?”
“Of course, I do! I like you, Nash, but I can’t. Not right now. Not for a while. When I come back, I’ll work on it because Norah deserves it. I love that little girl and I won’t do anything to make her feel like I…like she’s not wanted. I promise that.” She disappeared into the bathroom after that.
I waited ten full minutes before I realized she wasn’t coming out because of me. I left—reluctantly—but this wasn’t goodbye. She could have her space because I needed time to plan.
To plot.
To show her what I now knew.
I was in love with my accidental wife.
Vivi
New Orleans was a magical place. The food was incredible and the music had a way of digging down into your soul. It was the perfect place for a brokenhearted artist and I intended on soaking up all the character of the city before I went back to my room.
For another lonely night.
The good news was that the book was better than I could have possibly hoped for, and better than that, it was just about done. Completely. Writing Amber and Kade’s story for the past two days had been therapeutic. Mostly. I didn’t feel good about my decision to put some distance between Nash and myself but I felt…resolved. I couldn’t be mad at Nash for not returning my feelings, and I wouldn’t be.
When I got back to Belle Musique, I would spend time with Norah. Regular time so she didn’t feel neglected or like she was losing another woman in her life. It would be weird for a while and then it would be alright. But it probably would be weird again when he started dating. But I would be strong. Get over it. Eventually.
The thought of Nash with another woman had me stopping at the first place I found and grabbing a bag of beignets. The buttery, sugary goodness was exactly what I needed to wash away the bitterness that thoughts of Nash with someone else brought. But I knew, from experience, that eventually it would stop hurting.
That time couldn’t arrive soon enough because ever since I arrived in New Orleans, I felt sullen. Melancholic. Heartsick. And it was all Nash Boudreaux’s fault.
He sucked me in and pulled me under his spell, against my will. I wasn’t looking to fall for anyone. I wasn’t even looking to get laid. I’d stocked up on vibrators and rechargeable batteries before leaving Chicago just to make sure I didn’t succumb to any losers. Little did I know it would be the boy next door I had to protect my heart against.
So, instead of wallowing in my pain and pitying myself, I poured it all into my writing. I gave Kade and Amber the ending they deserved. It made me feel good to think that someone would be getting their happy ending and I was kind of pumped up to think that this book might be another bestseller. That would be the bandage on my wounded heart.
It had to be.
For now, I was satisfied with all the work I got done during the day. My artist was working on the cover, marketing materials were in the works, and progress was being made on all fronts. The only thing left for me to really do was finish the damn book. And when it was, I would start on another. And then another.
My career would be the thing that sustained me. Some women were lucky, they found love and career success. Those women were the lucky ones. The rest of us, the mortals, we had to choose. And since I had more control over my career than I did over any man, I felt pretty good about my decision.
And every day that I woke up and made it through the day, was another day that was behind me. That my time with Nash was behind me.
I promised myself that I wouldn’t run from my feelings while I was away from Belle Musique. I would feel them and examine them, but I wouldn’t let myself get so caught up in them that I couldn’t function or couldn’t think about the book I came here to finish.
“You gonna just stare at the door or do you plan on opening it?”
I blinked at the sound of the voice. It was familiar, but more than that the voice was coming from inside my room. “Aunt Mae, what the hell do you think you’re doing in my room! What if I had a man with me?” I chose to stay at one of the older hotels in town, the ones that gave you actual keys to open your room door instead of those electronic cards. It was a nice addition that justified the expense of staying at such an old establishment. The key turned and I pushed the door open, entering hesitantly because I didn’t know what the hell was on the other side of the door. “Mae?”
“I’m in here, Viviana, having a drink. What’s on your mind, girl?”
I entered the living room and found Aunt Mae with a little more than two fingers in a crystal tumbler and a wobbly smile on her face. “Other than wondering why you’re in my room, not much. I told you I was coming here to work, Mae.”
“And it looks to me like you’re wallowing. We don’t do self-pity, girl, so I need you to get yourself together and fight.” Like the strong woman I’d grown up admiring. Mae wore a stubborn expression that brooked no argument.
I planned to give it the old college try. “Fight for what, Mae? I’m fighting to make this story the best I’ve ever written. That’s why I came here. For some alone time.”
“Bullshit.”
I sucked in a shocked breath. “Aunt Mae!”
“You and I both know it’s true.” She didn’t look or sound apologetic about her harsh words, in fact Mae looked proud.
“I don’t know any such thing, Mae. What I know is that I needed some alone time so I could finish this book.”
“And it has nothing to do with things going sideways with Nash?” She was too damn perceptive. “Because your timing is pretty convenient if you tell me it doesn’t.”
“Maybe a little, but this is about me. I can’t turn Norah away and I thought being away from my creature comforts would force me to focus. And there was nothing to go sideways, Mae. This was all a big mistake that we compounded with too many hormones.” Sex for the sake of sex was a beautiful thing. It was satisfying and it definitely had its place in life. If neither of the involved parties decided to act stupid and develop feelings. Like me.
“Sex is good for the soul, Vivi.”
“It is. But not all sex is and that’s okay. I just need a few days to myself and I’ll be fine. I promise.” This wasn’t the first time bad news had changed things for me in a big way and I didn’t think it would be the last. Which meant I couldn’t fall apart.
Not now. Not even later.
I just flat out refused. I’d learned a few things in my short time on Earth but I knew when to stop fighting a losing battle. “It’s only complicated because you young people are always running from your emotions. So quick to hop in the sack but you can’t even talk about how you feel.”
“How I feel, Aunt Mae. Just me. Don’t you see, Nash doesn’t have any feelings where I’m concerned and that’s kind of the problem. That’s why I’m here so I can respect his wishes, so if you don’t mind, I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
“You’re just giving up?”
“No, Mae. There is nothing to give up. There never was. I’ve just decided to stop chasing rainbows.” And just like that, Sweeter Nothings got a brand new title.
Nash
“Daddy, where is Vivi? She said she would be back after a week and it’s been more than a week. What if she doesn’t come back?” This was the third time today Norah had worked herself up into a tizzy worrying about Vivi’s whereabouts.
“She’s coming back, Norah. Vivi wouldn’t abandon her house. She loves that place.” At least I was pretty sure she did, but even Mae had expected her to return to Belle Musique two days ago and no one had heard a word from her. At least, I hadn’t. Not that I expected to hear from her. She made it pretty clear that she wanted nothing at all to do with me. When a woman left a Dear John letter with an infant or simply hid in the bathroom until you left her house, chances were good she didn’t want to be bothered with your sorry ass.
“But what if she doesn’t? Did you make her mad ‘cause I was hoping Vivi would be my forever mama.”
Well, shit. “You and Vivi will always be friends.”
“No! She is my friend but she would be such a cool mama, don’t you think? She knows how to cook and she smells real nice, like cookies and grass. She’s pretty and I know you think so too. And she loves me.” My little girl was so certain of her place in Vivi’s heart that I envied her. Me, the man who had no idea where I stood with the woman who in such a short amount of time had become my best friend, my confidant.
My everything. “She would make a great mama, Norah. But that’s between us grownups.”
“Daddy,” she whined. “I want Vivi.”
Yeah, I wanted her too but that didn’t look like it was going to happen, not while she just decided to stay away from her own damn home just to avoid seeing me. “She’ll be home soon.” I hoped.
“Maddie! Max!” Norah stood and waved her arms as though she were at a football stadium instead of ten feet away from our table at the diner.
“Hey, Norah. You look pretty today,” Maddie said as she stopped at the table, sparing me a brief glance that told me nothing of what she thought of me even though I had no doubt she knew what had happened and where Vivi had been. “Nash. You’re looking…well.”
“Thank you, Maddie. I put this outfit together for Vivi but she’s still not home.” And that right there was why I should have absolutely avoided Vivi. Norah was miserable without her, more miserable than I was, and more importantly she wasn’t afraid to show it. Or broadcast it to the whole damn world.
“She is,” Max announced. “We got lunch for her,” he said proudly and then leaned in. “Vivi said she brought me something from her trip.”
Norah sucked in a breath and looked at me. “I know she got me something too Daddy, we have to go see her. I know, we’ll bring dessert!”
“Norah, we have to wait to be invited. What if she’s tired from her trip?”
“She’s not! Come on, please, Daddy?”
Like I could say no to my little girl. And maybe there was a small part of me that wanted to see Vivi too. “We’ll see.”
“How are you, Nash?”
I looked up, surprised she even addressed me, never mind with no malice or anger in her voice. “Making it through the day, Maddie, how about you?”
“Better than you,” she said when the kids huddled close and began whispering in earnest. “Then again, I’m not desperately fighting being in love so I think that gives me a leg up on you.”
“Gee, thanks. You really are a true friend.”
“I’m more than that. I am a great friend, and to prove how much, I’m going to stop by your house when Max and I are done visiting with Vivi.”
I didn’t know what her game was but I was no longer in the mood. “How will that help me?”
She grinned. “Because I’m going to watch Norah while you go over there and grovel. You do plan to grovel, don’t you?”
“Not sure I have anything to grovel for, Maddie.”
Her brown eyes flared with dissatisfaction. “Then I guess I’ll see you around town.” She stood and walked away with Max trailing behind her, shaking her head and probably muttering under her breath about what a dumbass I was. Or worse, what a disappointment I was. I hated disappointing people, and it seemed like my fate to forever do just that.
“You and Vivi are fighting,” Norah accused.
“We’re not fighting. Sometimes adults have disagreements, and Vivi and I have had one. We’ll figure it out.”
“You better, Daddy, because I love Vivi and I want her to stay.” Norah’s bottom lip jutted out and in that moment, I was reminded just how young she really was. Her maturity made it easy to forget she was just a girl, a precocious little girl with too much smarts, but still just a girl. “Why don’t you like Vivi anymore?”
“Where did you get that idea?”
“She left. Just like my mom, and Sally says her first dad left because her mama was mean to him because she didn’t like him anymore.”
“Sally talks too much,” I muttered under my breath, feeling silly that I had to justify my decisions to my kid because of her chatty little friend who knew far too much about her parents’ personal lives. “It’s nothing like that. Vivi needs to finish her book the same way you need to finish your play, and she wanted peace to do it. That’s all.”
“Vivi!” Norah was waving her little arms and shouting at the top of her breath, to no avail because Vivi couldn’t hear her through the glass and her gaze was focused on the ground in front of her. “Vivi! Vivi!” Before I could say anything, Norah was out of her seat and racing out the door towards the redheaded bombshell across the street.
My heart stopped when she darted across the street without even looking, and when the car starting honking and skidding on the street, I felt all the blood drain from my face. Time seemed to slow down as it all unfolded.
“Norah!” Vivi’s tortured voice rang out and everything fell from her hands as she darted out into the street, towards my daughter. No regard at all for her personal safety.
I was powerless to do anything but watch as Vivi dove towards my little girl and pushed her out of harms way, hell out of the way of certain danger. For her efforts, Vivi was rewarded with a crushing blow to her hip that sent her flying into the air before she hit the ground with a startling crack. The impact knocked her out cold.
My feet finally began to move and I hit the street moments later to find Norah crying over Vivi’s seemingly lifeless body. “Daddy, Vivi got hurt trying to save me. We have to help her, we have to!”
Looking down at my little girl with tears swimming in her eyes, it finally dawned on me that everything I’d done to protect her had really been to protect myself.
Vivi
I woke up in the hospital less than twenty four hours after returning from New Orleans. In the hospital with a fractured hip like I was an old man. Yeah, that news had been really great for my self-esteem. A broken hip before I was even hitting the early bird specials; I must have pissed someone important off in another life; that was the only explanation for my extraordinary good luck for the past few…forever.
As much pain as I’ve been in over the past few days, I felt nothing but relief that Norah had made it out unscathed. I didn’t remember much when I woke up with a leg covered in bandages and excruciating pain, but I did remember the sight of that big old gold Cadillac barreling towards her excited little body. I’d refused all visitors but Aunt Mae, who’d threatened to call in a bomb threat if I refused her after the first hour of visiting hours, and I couldn’t refuse her. Not really. She’d been the one to give permission for the surgery and I knew that she’d been by my side all those hours until I woke up. She’d earned her right to hover. To mother-hen me.
But three days later, I was done being a coward. I couldn’t put Norah off forever and even if I could, it would be cruel at this point. So I slapped a grin on my face and vowed to be happy
and upbeat when Norah arrived, no matter how hard it would be to see Nash. Thankfully, I’d gotten a lower dose of pain meds to dull the edges without making me loopy during today’s visits. I was as ready as I would ever be.
Visiting hours started at eleven and Norah ran into the room exactly one minute later, with Nash ambling in behind her. She had a giant stuffed giraffe, a sunflower and a giant bag of Skittles in her arms but when she saw me, she let them all fall to the floor and rushed to me. “Vivi, I thought you died. You saved me,” she said, choking up as she wrapped little arms around my neck. “I love you, Vivi.”
My heart squeezed because, this little girl, she was incredible. “I love you too, kiddo, and I’m glad you’re all right.” I pulled her back and looked deep into those watery blue eyes. “But no more running out into the street, okay? I’m pretty sure I have a few gray hairs because of you.” Norah nodded and a small giggle escaped.
She went to pick up the gifts and handed them to me. “I promise to look both ways from now on, Vivi.” She stayed close the whole visit and the feel of her warm little body was just what I needed. Other than the pain meds because holy hell, the pain was ridiculous.
“Tell me what you’ve been up to, kid.”
She leaned against the bed with her hands sandwiching my free hand while she told me all about the latest developments in her play. “How do you put on a play?”
“First, you need a stage so maybe the community center or the high school, I think.” Talking about something else, anything else, was nice. It felt normal, like I wasn’t laid up in the hospital with a broken hip. My eyes drifted closed while Norah and I traded ideas on how to get her play into production.
Nash, meanwhile, stayed painfully quiet in the corner. I didn’t know if he was pissed because he blamed me for Norah’s near-miss or if it was just the beginning of what would always be weird as hell between us. Either way, I wasn’t complaining, no matter how much it hurt.
Accidentally Hitched: An Accidental Marriage Romance Page 14