by Lucy Eden
“Dude. Are you seriously fucking head hunting right now?”
“What? I still have a company to run and if Wolfe lets her go somebody’s gonna snatch her up.”
I glared at him. He put his hands up in concession and slid his phone into his pocket.
“Hey, speaking of Kimberly Simmons,” he said in a thinly veiled attempt to hide the fact that he didn’t close the browser on his phone and to change the subject, “did she tell you about the incident at the airport in Barbados?” My head jerked up and my body stiffened. Kimberly didn’t say anything about an incident at the airport. I shook my head. Nate grinned. “I’ll tell you all about it over lunch, after you shower.”
I narrowed my eyes at him and walked into the bathroom.
When I got back from lunch my apartment was clean. I had an appointment with Dr. Scott Hyland tomorrow at eleven am and I was putting on my running gear for the first time since Tuesday. I did a lap around Morningside Park and on the way home I passed a soup kitchen on 116th street called Everyday Harvest with a sign in the window that read volunteers wanted.
I approached the person who seemed to be in charge. She was short, wore a hijab and name tag that said DeeDee. She turned to me and raised her eyebrows expectantly.
“Hi. I’m Adam. Are you still looking for volunteers?” Her face brightened and she grinned.
“Yes. Always. When can you start?”
I shrugged and looked around before responding.
“How about now?”
twenty seven
Kimberly
I kept waiting to hate myself less to call Adam and apologize but the more time I spent working for Vittoria, the worse I felt. Vittoria might be one of the smartest women I’ve ever met. She could charm a room full of people but didn’t take shit from anyone. She was always coming up with new ideas and her attention to detail was impeccable. And, my God, her energy was off the charts. I thought pregnancy was supposed to slow you down, but I struggled to keep up with her.
We’ve been working together for two weeks and have flown to Turks and Caicos, St. Thomas, and Barbados twice. In Barbados, we had dinner with her best friend, Callie, who I knew was married to Alexander Wolfe, our former CEO. What I didn’t know about her was that she graduated from Wharton and owned The Sterling Beachfront Paradise. Being in the company of such brilliant and powerful women made me feel brilliant and powerful. I was learning so much and having so many amazing experiences that I was dying to share with Adam but I couldn’t.
The hardest part of my job was watching Vittoria and Matthew dote on each other. I was the only assistant that had an office on the same side of the fiftieth floor. Her pregnancy still hadn’t been announced and no one knew what my real position was. I wasn’t just managing her calendar, I was being primed to take over her job, albeit temporarily, and she needed to have me close.
During conference calls he would pull her feet into his lap and massage them. She would always make sure he ate his lunch and straightened his tie before he went into meetings. When Matteo was in the office he was always their first priority. Once, I came in from a meeting and Matthew was sitting in the playroom’s beanbag reviewing a contract with Matteo fast asleep on his lap.
This morning Matthew and Vittoria got into a heated argument about the best way to obtain a permit from a town that was trying limit beachfront construction. She took off one of her stilettos, threw it at him and called him something in Italian that I probably shouldn’t translate. After kicking off her other shoe, she stomped off in huff. He picked them up and followed her looking just as angry. They returned to the office a half an hour later definitely more relaxed.
Vittoria’s skirt was wrinkled, her top button was unbuttoned and her hair was disheveled. Matthew looked a little more put together but his hair was rumpled and one of the buttons of his shirt was missing. He sat at his computer, curled his index finger under his nose and tucked his thumb under his chin. He looked like he was thinking but I doubted that was all he was doing.
I was daydreaming about the things Adam used to do with his fingers when Vittoria called me into her office. She had brushed her hair and reapplied her lipstick.
“Kimberly, I need you to contact WP,” she said. “We’re still waiting for their first round of contract revisions.”
It felt like I had been punched in the chest. “Do you want me to call legal and—” have them call WP because I don’t want to, I thought to myself.
“Are you asking me how to do your job?” she interrupted. Her tone was pleasant, but her intent was anything but.
“No, of course not. I just…” My train of thought withered and died under Vittoria’s gaze. She was giving me her patented I may be smiling but if you’re still standing in my office in five seconds I’m going to fire you face.
Back at my desk with my heart pounding out of my chest, I dialed WP’s legal department. I could’ve kicked it down to our legal department, but that would have meant waiting for a response and if Vittoria asked me to handle it, that meant she wanted it done quickly. I crossed my fingers for some minor issue that could be fixed without having to involve Adam, but I wasn’t the half of us that had the power to make wishes come true. Adam was holding up the revisions and I had to call him.
I’ve had six sessions with Dr. Marquez since I’ve been back and they usually ended with me agreeing to call Adam and started with me having to confess that I hadn’t done it. She said that the conversation would never be easy but more time would make it harder. She also said that it would be better to do it on my own terms and not risk running into him somewhere, or like this situation, being forced to call him. She was right as usual and I was kicking myself for not listening to her.
I dialed his extension and held my breath. It rang once before a male voice answered that wasn’t his. I exhaled.
“Adam Price, please.” It wasn’t proper phone etiquette but I was afraid to give my name.
“I’m sorry, but Mr. Price is in meetings all day and can’t be disturbed. I’d be happy to take a message.”
I was more relieved than disappointed. Vittoria wouldn’t have an immediate answer but I also wouldn’t have to have a conversation with Adam that I wasn’t prepared for.
“Of course. Would you please tell him Kimberly Simmons from Wolfe is calling about the contr—”
“Kimberly Simmons?” He almost sounded excited.
“Yes,” I said quietly, almost afraid to admit it.
“Please hold for Mr. Price.”
My heart sank and my chest constricted. Before I had a chance to catch my breath, Adam was on the line.
“Kimberly?” He sounded happy, sad and hopeful at the same time and I was picturing one of his confusing expressions.
“Hey,” I sighed.
“Hey,” he replied. There was a long heavy silence. A lump started to form in my throat and tears prickled in my eyes. I glanced at Vittoria but she was engrossed in a pile of paperwork. He’d said two words to me and already I was a puddle. “How are you?”
I got my dream job but I’m sad all the time. I miss you so much it hurts.
“I’m fine. How are you?”
“I’ve wanted to call you every day but I knew you would call me when you were ready. How’s everything at…work. Did you get…”
“No, actually,” I tried to keep my voice as steady as possible. “I work for Vittoria now. She created a kind of mentorship/assistant position for me, because she was so impressed with my work in…” Every word felt like it was attached to a barbed wire that was slowly being pulled through my heart.
“See? I knew it.” He sounded relieved but still sad. “Wait.”
My heart pounded faster and the air thickened. I closed my eyes and braced myself for the inevitable.
“How long have you been working for Vittoria?” he asked.
The tears started pouring from my eyes. I swiveled my chair so that Vittoria’s view of my face was obscured.
“Two weeks.” I whisp
ered. A long silence followed.
“When did you find out about this?”
“Tuesday.” My voice was shaking and an even longer silence followed.
“Tuesday, two weeks ago or Tuesday, the day after our fight, because that was almost three weeks ago?”
I didn’t answer him, then I heard him exhale on the other side of the call. “So, why are you just calling to tell me this?”
He didn’t sound sad, hopeful or happy anymore. I only heard one emotion: anger.
“Our legal department hasn’t received the first round of revisions and Vittoria asked me to —”
“So you’re just calling me for work?” he asked. I couldn’t answer him and tears were still streaming down my cheeks. “Kimberly?”
“I’m sorry.” I said in a croaky whisper. There was another long silence. “Adam?”
“I have to go,” he said in a flat, indifferent tone that I’d never heard him use with me before. “I’ll have legal messenger over the contract today.”
The line went dead.
My entire body was numb, but I managed to send Vittoria a message letting her know that she’d have the revisions by the end of the day before retreating to my favorite place on the fiftieth floor to cry.
I stayed in the bathroom for forty-five minutes and told Vittoria I’d taken an early lunch. Something told me she didn’t believe me but she didn’t say anything. The rest of the day passed without incident except when Vittoria wanted to go to St. Vincent’s the following week to settle the permit issue, but Matthew wanted her and Matteo to go to Tokyo with him for a conference. Another screaming match ensued which they resolved by disappearing for another private tête-à-tête. Vittoria and I were headed to St. Vincent’s after all, and she and Matteo would join Matthew two days into the conference, which was always going to happen whether Matthew protested or not.
Six o’clock found me waiting in the office for the contract but it never came. I called Adam’s office again, equipped with an accent and an alias that I didn’t need because his assistant said that he left for the day. I sent Vittoria a message letting her know I would follow up with the contracts in the morning even though it was the weekend and went home.
As the town car pulled up to my house, I froze. There was a large figure sitting on my stoop and I knew exactly who it was. For one horrible moment I contemplated telling the driver to keep going but I didn’t. Whatever Adam came here to tell me I deserved to hear it.
He stood as I approached. I stopped a few feet in front of him, not sure if I should get too close. Neither one of us spoke immediately. We just stared at each other. He was somehow more handsome than I remembered. His beard and mustache had grown back and I had to resist the urge to reach out and run my fingertips through it. He was wearing a thick down jacket and a scarf. The tip of his nose and his ears were pink making me wonder how long he’d been sitting there. The longer I stared to more I was overcome by the urge to start crying again.
He’d been waiting for me to call him this entire time. He was happy to hear from me and his assistant was obviously instructed to screen every call except for mine. I started to cry silently. At the sight of my tears, he closed his eyes and bit his lip in frustration. He seemed to be steeling himself for something. Reaching into his messenger bag he withdrew a large yellow envelope and held it out to me. I knew what it was and I didn’t want to touch it. He took a step forward with his arm still extended.
“Take it,” he said.
“Adam, I—” I tried to start a sentence I wasn’t sure how I would finish but he cut me off.
“This is why you finally called me after three weeks, so take it.”
I reached out with trembling fingers, took the envelope, and clutched it to my chest. My silent tears turned into sobs as he turned to walk away.
He only made it a few steps before whipping around to face me. “Why?”
“I’m so sorry,” I said through choked sobs.
He began to pace back and forth on the sidewalk. “Three weeks, Kimberly. Three fucking weeks. You knew our relationship had nothing to do with you not going to Barbados and you just let me believe it for three weeks. What the fuck?”
“I know. I know. I wanted to call you so many times but…”
He took a step towards me and I was sure he was going to reach out and touch my shoulders but he stopped himself, clenching his fists.
“But what?” He still looked angry but his gorgeous hazel eyes were pleading with me.
“I was afraid you’d hate me,” I whispered.
He rolled his eyes and threw his hands up. “Hate you? Kimberly, I love you. I don’t know how else I can say it or show you. I wish I was capable of hating you then I wouldn’t have spent the last three weeks in fucking misery thinking I’d somehow ruined your life. You let me think that I’d ruined your life for three fucking weeks. How could you do that?”
I took a step towards him and reached for his arm. He backed away and raked his fingers through his hair.
“I don’t know, Adam. I’m just so sorry.”
He took a deep breath and nodded, looking defeated. Then he turned and started to walk away again. “You were right, you know? About my mom,” he said whipping around to face me. “I’ve started therapy and it turns out I do have a lot of unresolved issues. So, thank you for that.” His tone was sarcastic, harsh and accusatory. “Apparently I do have trust issues. Crazy, right? I can’t allow myself to trust someone. I can’t open myself up and be vulnerable because I think that deep down inside they’re just going to leave me.”
He glared at me pointedly and I could see tears threatening to fall from his eyes. I wanted to tear my heart out so I could stop feeling like this. Pain was etched into every one of Adam’s expressions, his movements and his words.
“Adam, just come inside. We can talk about this.”
“Do you know why I didn’t work on the revisions?”
I didn’t answer him.
“I couldn’t stand the thought of working on this project without you. You made it happen and maybe it meant we couldn’t be together but at least you would be happy. You deserved to be there. I was considering turning it down.”
“Adam. You can’t do that. I would never ask you to do that.”
“You still don’t get it.”
He took a step closer, pulled off one his gloves and used his thumb to wipe a tear away. My eyes fluttered closed and my whole body relaxed as I felt his warm hand slide across my cheek. He was still so angry but his touch was gentle.
“I love you, Kimberly. You would never have to ask me to put you first. I wouldn’t have a choice.”
I opened my eyes. He moved in closer. His hand was still caressing my cheek. His eyes searched mine for something but I didn’t know what.
“I love you, Adam. I love you so much it scares me. I’m so sorry I hurt you. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you. I’m so sorry I didn’t listen to you. I’m so —”
His mouth found mine and the pent up passion in his kiss took my breath away. The hand on my cheek slid under my hair and cradled my head as he pulled me closer, deepening the kiss. His other arm wrapped around my waist molding my body to his and almost lifting me off of my feet. Our tongues explored each other and it felt like coming home after being gone for way too long. It was ferocious yet tender. I knew he was still angry but I also knew he still loved me. After everything I’d done, he still loved me.
I reached up to wrap my arms around his neck and the contract I’d forgotten I was holding fell to the sidewalk making a large smacking sound, breaking the spell and causing Adam to break our kiss. We both stared at it for a minute before Adam bent down, picked it up and handed it to me.
“I have to go,” he said in the flat indifferent tone he used this morning before he hung up the phone. I was still catching my breath from the kiss and my heart squeezed in my chest.
“No. You don’t have to go. Please, just stay. Let’s go inside.” I tucked my bottom lip in between
my teeth to try to stop my tears from returning but it didn’t work.
“You broke me, Kimberly. You fucking broke me.” He backed away from me shaking his head. “And for what?” He raised his arms and dropped them.
“Adam, wait. Please don’t leave.”
He just looked at me and his expression told me everything he wasn’t saying. This was how he felt, three weeks ago, standing in my kitchen begging me not to push him away. That time was gone and we could never get it back. Three weeks of incredible pain for the both us. And for what?
He took one last look at me and sighed before he turned towards Seventh Avenue. I wanted to run after him but my feet wouldn’t move. I watched as Adam disappeared around the corner and I managed to take the few steps to my stoop and sat down with the contract in my lap.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. Cole’s number flashed on my watch face.
“That looked intense. Wanna talk about it?” I looked up with my phone to my ear and saw him waving to me from his bedroom window next door.
“Yes, please.”
When my parents first got married, Harlem was considered “up and coming," which is a term realtors use to unload properties in shitty neighborhoods. In those days there were a lot of abandoned properties that the city was unloading very cheaply provided the new owners could bring the buildings up to code and pay taxes. Mom and Dad started with the big brownstone on the corner where we grew up and where they still live and in the years since their real estate holdings have grown.
My parents sold a brownstone to each of their children on their eighteenth birthdays at a price well below market value—Dad made sure we knew that. Cole’s and mine were next to each other and RJ’s was across the street.
I typed my code into Cole’s keypad and he was waiting for me in his foyer with open arms.
“Get in here, Stringbean.” He wrapped his arms around me. “Want some ice cream?”