“I can’t fucking believe I’m saying this, but me, too.” Cian tipped a pint toward his brother.
“You’re all pissed. The whole lot of ya,” Eagan said. All he got in return was loud laughter.
Then he stood, wished them all a good night, and pulled me along until we were outside the tent. Into the car we went.
“Are we going back to your place tomorrow?” I asked with a yawn.
“That’s the plan.”
“I wasn’t sure since I have to be back here early Monday. Thought you might want to stay in the city to save the trip.”
“Maggie, not a chance. It’d be nice to have a night alone before ya leave. Yeah?”
I sighed, then said, “Yeah.”
The sigh wasn’t because I didn’t want a night alone with him. The sigh was because of the reminder that we had such little time left.
Eagan let us into the house but locked the door. I climbed the stairs slowly behind him.
The Irish wedding had been a ridiculous amount of fun, but it sure was exhausting. He seemed to have much more energy than I did.
He helped me get out of my dress but didn’t help me into pajamas.
His lips felt like silk against my skin. His movements were slow and purposeful as if he wanted to hit every spot just right.
Or savor every single moment.
I fell asleep so quickly after. A combination of the late hour, the physical exertion at the wedding, and the physical exertion after.
And when I woke, Eagan wasn’t in bed with me.
But there were voices downstairs. I got dressed, finger combed my hair, then went downstairs, where the conversation had turned to Colleen and Cian leaving for their honeymoon. Apparently, the morning after their wedding meant a stop at his parents’ house before jetting off to Bali for their honeymoon.
Eagan saw me first and smiled.
“Perfect timing,” he said before kissing me. “Have a quick bite and we’ll head back.”
My stomach wasn’t feeling the best, so I opted to just have a slice of bread with a smear of butter and then we were ready to go. So he said.
“When are we going to see you again, Maggie-girl?” his father asked as he gave me a hug.
His family was definitely comprised of huggers.
Eagan answered for me by saying we had no idea but didn’t seem bothered by it.
I’d have him trapped in a car for an hour, which meant I was going to get to the bottom of what was going through his mind.
I didn’t jump on him right away. The comfortable silence hung between us until he was out of the city. Then it was time.
“Does it bother you that I’m leaving tomorrow?” I asked.
“That’s a dumb question, isn’t it?”
“I don’t think so. It didn’t seem to bother you when your dad asked.”
“Maggie, I hate that you don’t live here. I fucking hate it.” He took a deep breath. When he spoke again his voice was back to a normal level. “But your home is there. Not much we can do about that, right?”
He was basically right, but I was fairly certain that if he’d asked me to stay right that moment, I would have.
“Maggie, you’re twenty-one. You have to finish school. You have a life there. I have a life here.”
Fuck. He’s right. School. I had a year of college left. I did want to see my grandma. What he wasn’t saying was that he’d want it any different.
I got lost in my own head trying to figure out how to tell him that this had turned into so much more than I’d thought it would. I had thought it’d be a quick vacation romance and things would be done. Yet now I hated the idea of being where he wasn’t. Maybe that was just me.
I’d been so completely oblivious that I didn’t know we were back in Dunkerry until he turned the car off.
We spent that last day alone in his apartment watching movies, though I couldn’t focus on any of it. My brain became obsessed by just how many more hours with him I had and the fact that I was wasting those hours.
That realization hit me like a bus. I sat up and turned to face him, then tucked my legs underneath me.
“Do you want me to stay?” I asked suddenly. I supposed there could’ve been a little buildup.
Eagan wet his lips and blinked. I had a gnawing feeling I wasn’t going to like his answer.
“No.”
Yup, there it was. The answer I hadn’t wanted to hear.
I nodded slowly. “Okay, then.”
When I motioned to turn away from him, mentally kicking myself the entire time, he grabbed my wrist to stop me.
Why hadn’t I waited to ask that question until I was about to get on the airplane? That way I wouldn’t have to face him or the embarrassment of having developed feelings for a guy I shouldn’t have. Again.
“Maggie, stop. Hear me out.”
I could do that.
“That was dumb of me,” I said, shaking my head. “I don’t know why I tried to turn this into something more.”
His jaw tightened, then he sighed.
“The reason I don’t want you to stay is because of your grandma and school and your family. Not because I don’t want you here with me. Of course, I do.”
“So what’s going to happen when I leave?” I asked, my voice cracking on the last word. “Are we just never going to see or talk to each other again? Just forget this ever even happened?”
“Well, that’s not possible. I wouldn’t be able to forget the last few weeks. Could you?” He raised an eyebrow. The playful smirk made me laugh.
“Yeah, I guess not, but don’t let it go to your head.”
Eagan took me out to dinner that night to one of his favorite places, he said. I didn’t really care about the food, though it was delicious. I cared about the company.
I thought that night would be full of sweaty sex because I was about to go to a place where there wasn’t anyone I wanted. At least not at this point. I had no idea if it was the same for him.
Instead, we changed for bed and spent the night in each other’s arms.
He held me to him so tightly that I thought that right there was how I knew he’d miss me. We were just together, no pressure, yet he held on to me like I was something special.
Chapter Eleven
Eagan grabbed something quick, a granola bar I think, for breakfast in the morning. We had to be on the road by seven, so I set an early alarm. I insisted I wasn’t hungry when really my stomach was in shambles about leaving Ireland. I’d come here for my mom to find her roots when Grandma and Grandpa couldn’t.
But I felt like I’d found a little bit about myself.
When we got to Dublin, he kissed me before letting me go get my passport and I found him on that same bench outside when I was done.
Unfortunately, everything was in order.
There weren’t any more excuses for me to stay here with him.
If Eagan had any feelings about me leaving, he masked them well. It didn’t seem like this was anything other than a normal day. Tomorrow he’d have his life back.
There was only so far Eagan could go with me at the airport. While I’d rather have sat with him until the moment my airplane took off, that wasn’t possible. I had to go through security and that took longer on international flights.
Still, he walked while pulling my suitcase behind him with one hand, the other arm wrapped around my shoulders holding me to him.
And this was my last chance to be completely honest with him and with myself. I swallowed down the nerves and took the leap.
“I’m going to miss you, Eagan,” I said, looking up at him through my eyelashes. As if they would hide anything. “I’m going to miss you a lot. And I’m going to call you and text whether you like it or not.”
“I’d like that, Maggie.”
Eagan leaned in and kissed me gently on the lips, holding me to him for an extra moment before pulling back.
“I love you, Maggie.”
It was like something physically sat
on my chest. It was heavy and took my breath away. Tears burned my eyes and try as I might, I couldn’t stop them from pooling. Several fell down my cheeks.
“Why are you telling me this now? I’m about to get on a plane and go thousands of miles away.” The words sounded strangled, even to my ears. Something akin to a sob bubbled up from my chest and my gaze dropped to our connected hands.
“I couldn’t let you go not knowing,” he said softly.
“But how can I go knowing?” I asked, looking back up at him.
“Because you have to,” he said softly. Then Eagan shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Uh…Maggie…”
“Yeah?”
He raised an eyebrow, but that just confused me…oh, shit.
“Oh, god. I’m so in love with you, Eagan. Have been even if I don’t understand how a person can legit fall in love with someone they barely know, but you’re kind and great—”
He cut me off. “Maggie. We have limited time here.”
I snorted through the tears that had continued to flow.
Then I leaped into his arms.
My lips met his and it was exactly where I was supposed to be.
And the place I never wanted to leave.
When Eagan pulled back I groaned and pouted up at him. He just laughed in return.
“You know we never figured out what we’re going to do.”
“About?” he asked, to which I playfully elbowed his stomach.
“Eagan.”
“I know. We have to. But you have to go home and we can figure it out.”
“But…when will I see you again?”
Now he visibly swallowed. “I don’t know. We’ll figure it out. We’ll get on a visiting schedule, I don’t know, something. Until then we have the phone.”
“And Facetime. I want to actually see you.”
“You better go,” he said softly.
He was right. Even though I tried to draw every last kiss out of him, I had to force myself to walk away. I couldn’t miss this flight.
When I looked back, he was watching me, his arms folded across his chest and his face tight.
I knew the moment I wouldn’t be able to see him anymore without actually looking. I didn’t know how, but it was like I felt the loss of his eyes on me.
Then I spent half the plane ride home flipping through the photos on my phone, wishing I’d taken more pictures of Eagan. I set my favorite one as my background and one of the both of us to come up when he called.
It wasn’t much. But it was all I had.
I landed in Detroit at three o’clock local time, but I’d been traveling for nine hours and my body thought it was evening. My last few days in Ireland hadn’t come with much sleep, so by the time I dropped into my dad’s car at the airport, tired didn’t cover how I felt. But he was excited to see me, so after melting into the seat, I forced myself not to nap on the way across the state.
“I was beginning to think you were immigrating to Ireland,” he said once we were on the highway.
I snorted. “Thought about it.”
“I’m glad you decided against it.”
“I didn’t. The American Consulate did.”
“I’ll have to send him a fruit basket.”
Dad thought of everything. He had a cold bottle of water waiting for me in the car and I needed it.
“So tell me about Ireland. Your mother told us all about when she was there.”
“First, how’s Grandma?”
“Good, actually. Last I talked to Allison, she said her mother was doing pretty well. Turns out the complication was a virus, not really a complication. Her body just didn’t handle it well because of the hip. So she’s back at the rehab place and making some progress.”
“Is she going to be able to return home?” I asked. That was something I’d worried about the entire time I’d been gone.
“Yeah. They think so.”
I sighed in relief. Seeing her was at the top of my list for tomorrow.
“So,” he said, “tell me about this Eagan guy.”
Just the mention of his name brought a smile to my face.
“Why?”
“Uh, you just spent almost two weeks at this guy’s house. I think I should know something about him.”
“He’s Irish.”
Dad chuckled loudly, his deep rumble filling the car.
“Maggie.”
“Father.”
“I saw the way you smiled when I said his name. Come on.” He turned the air conditioning down. It was a lot warmer in Michigan than it had been in Ireland.
It was weird to think that when I woke up this morning I’d been in Ireland.
Now I wasn’t.
“He’s really nice. He let me stay in his apartment for free.”
“Yeah, I noticed you didn’t use much money while you were there.”
“He didn’t charge me, Dad. Not even for food.”
“And where did he stay?” It was such a dad question.
“At his brother’s,” I said. Then I sighed and added, “At first.”
“Exactly what I was worried about.”
“Dad, stop.” I shook my head but couldn’t stop smiling. He was harassing me. “He owns a pub with his brother. It’s more restaurant than bar. He has a great family.”
“You met his family?”
I nodded.
“I’m in love with him, Dad.”
My dad groaned and let his head thump against the headrest.
“Please don’t lecture me,” I begged. “I know I haven’t known him very long and I can’t explain it really, nor do I want to try, but—”
He cut my rambling off. “Maggie. You don’t have to explain anything to me.”
“I don’t?”
“No. I told your mom on our third date that I was going to marry her. I get it.”
“Third date? Wasn’t that like less than two weeks after you met?” I asked, trying to remember all the stories I’d been told. He nodded. “But crap. You got divorced.”
He laughed again.
“Seventeen years after getting married. And we were together a year and a half before the wedding. Had nothing to do with how quickly we fell in love.”
I thought about what he’d said for a few moments and glanced around to figure out where we were. Almost home.
“So you’re not…going to try to talk me out of my feelings?”
He shook his head. “You’re twenty-one years old. You make your own decisions. You decide when you know your heart. You make your own mistakes.”
“So you’re saying it’s a mistake?” I said, biting the inside of my cheek.
“Jesus Christ,” he muttered as he pulled up in front of my apartment.
“I’m just kidding.”
We got out at the same time. He grabbed my bag from the trunk, then gave me a big old bear hug and said he was glad I was back.
I’d missed him.
The next weeks went by pretty slowly. I saw my grandma most days. Mom was busy between work and visiting Grandma. Since Grandma was settled in the rehabilitation center, Mom ended her family leave. It had been unpaid and she didn’t want to sap their savings more than necessary.
My best friend had already gone on tour with her father, which, when I thought about it, made me incredibly jealous and I started to count down the day until I met up with them.
But my time was spent texting Eagan (who missed me) and watching TV. It was boring, even if it was the same thing I’d love to be doing with Eagan at that moment. Instead, I got to watch people on the cooking channel make things that sounded delicious but looked to require too much effort.
I was fine with the popcorn I had piled into a large bowl on my lap.
Then someone knocked at the door.
Yes, it was pathetic that I was home alone on a Friday night watching cooking shows. Whatever.
I looked out the peephole and knew my solitude had me hallucinating.
“Eagan…” I said when I
opened the door. It’d been two weeks since I’d seen him. Two lonely weeks. The same amount of time we’d had alone in Ireland. “How…? What…?”
Then I launched into his arms and covered his face with kisses.
He lifted me off the ground and backed me into my apartment, then kissed me. The long, hard kisses making up for two weeks of nothing.
“What’re you doing here?” I asked breathlessly.
“Needed to see you.”
I squealed and squeezed tighter.
“OK, OK,” he said, setting me down and sounding all serious. “First, is this your apartment and are you alone?”
“Yes and yes.” It was an agreement I had with Dad. He’d help me with an apartment and the bills while I was in school. This place was the size of a stamp, including the bedroom, but it was mine and I loved it.
Eagan cupped my face and lowered his lips to mine. I felt his tongue against mine all the way to my toes. Oh, this was going somewhere.
“A few things before I get you naked,” he said.
“I like where this is going,” I said, nodding my head.
He led me by the hand to my couch, where we sat together closely.
“First, I have this for you.” He handed me a thin, square box.
I lifted the lid off. Inside I found a thin gold wire bracelet. I glanced at him, then back to the box, then picked the bracelet up. Dangling off was a single charm.
A pot of gold.
A wide smile appeared on my face and I looked directly at him.
“I couldn’t find a leprechaun, but I thought a pot of gold might do.”
Then I laughed loudly as my eyes burned with tears again. He remembered.
“You can be my leprechaun,” I said, leaning in to hug him tightly. “This is beautiful. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
I slipped the bracelet on and moved in to kiss him, but he stopped me.
“I want to talk to you before you start kissing me.”
“Why?” That sounded outrageous to me.
“Because once you start, I won’t want to stop.”
“And that’s a bad thing?” I asked.
“Not at all. But I would like to talk first.”
I sighed and scowled at him.
“Fine.” I pushed out my bottom lip so he’d know I was pouting.
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