by Jennie Adams
Nate would never love her. He wasn’t a man who would give that to her.
For a moment, she thought the roar was the sound of her heart screaming inside her. Then there was a shout from the kitchen. A look of horror wiped all else from Nate’s face.
A hoarse cry came from his lips as he grabbed her. Tugged her sharply forward. At the same time, something hot and furious blasted them from behind. His arms clamped around her and he flung them to the floor.
They crashed across it and pain scraped across her shoulder, her elbow. His low grunt revealed he hadn’t gone unscathed, either. She lay stunned in his arms, her mind struggling to assimilate what had happened.
An explosion in the kitchen. The kitchen staff. Oh, God, please let them be all right.
Shouts broke out. Dishes clattered. Someone moaned.
Her mouth seemed disconnected from her mind. She struggled to get the words out. ‘We have to help them.’
‘We will.’ Nate pulled her to her feet, tugged her further from the furore, from the heat. ‘First, what hurts? Can you see me properly? Show me your back. Let me see if it got you.’
His face was as ashen as she felt. But she didn’t feel burnt. ‘I’m OK. Are you?’
He nodded.
She gripped his arm. ‘We have to—’
‘Get help.’ He already had his cellphone out, but sirens outside the building made it clear that help was on the way. He put the phone back in his pocket, and turned her gently. Shaking hands patted over her hair and back, then turned her to face him again. ‘If your dress or hair had caught fire—’
‘They didn’t.’ Later she could face that possibility and react to it. ‘We have to help these people.’ They moved together toward the kitchen.
People from the dining room rushed to the scene. Nate shouted them to a standstill. He turned to her. ‘Wait here. Stay away from the danger.’
‘No. I’m coming with you.’ But arms wrapped around her. Female voices soothed.
She struggled to make them understand. She didn’t want to be soothed. Nate couldn’t go in there without her. She needed to be at his side.
Words crowded at her. Fragments from all around.
‘Gas explosion…’
‘…oven must have been faulty.’
‘Nobody right near it, thank God.’
She broke free at last and moved into the kitchen on legs that wobbled and threatened to drop her onto the floor again. A dozen or so people. Several nursing injuries. Two slumped in chairs. But all conscious.
And Nate in the middle. He took the powder fire extinguisher from the head chef’s shaking hands and trained it on the smouldering oven and surrounds.
Her beloved Nate. If fate had taken him from her, how would she have survived? Something inside her coalesced in that moment.
Nate had hinted that they needed to reassess their relationship. Well, she just had, and she was going to have everything she could get with him, even if it was only a night.
Life was too short. So she would find some way to deal with letting go when it ended. When this was over…
‘Is it safe? Do we need to get them out?’ Her voice sounded odd in her ears.
Nate turned. ‘You shouldn’t be here.’
‘You are.’
A voice intruded. ‘Out of the way, please, people. Let’s take care of these folks.’
In moments, the kitchen was cleared, people eased onto stretchers or assisted outside to be taken to the nearest Accident and Emergency.
The restaurant owner talked to the police in low tones, sweat beading on his brow. At Nate’s request, the crowd dissipated, moved back to the dining area to collect their things and go home.
It wasn’t the end to the evening that any of them could have anticipated. Again, Chrissy began to shake as she thought of all that could have happened. If the explosion had been worse. If other things had caught fire.
And then Nate’s arms were around her again, and nothing had ever felt so good. She sighed against his chest, pressed her hand over his heart and absorbed the strong, steady beat of it. ‘Will they all be OK?’
‘Yes.’ His mouth pressed against her temple. ‘Shock, some minor burns, but nothing worse. The owner will make sure his staff are taken care of. Right now, I’m more concerned about you.’
‘It’s silly. I just took a tumble across the floor. I don’t know why I feel so shaken.’ It was a lie. She was shaken because she had discovered she loved him, and realised how it would feel if fate took him from her before she had a chance to show him what he meant to her.
I will show you Nate, even though I know you’ll leave.
‘You need to go to the hospital, too, my darling.’ His gentle words covered her in warmth against the deep chill that had invaded her body. The tightening of his arms around her revealed that strong feelings still lurked.
Her heart swelled in unsolicited hope, because how could he call her his darling if he didn’t feel something for her, too? How could he hold her so tightly, if he didn’t crave her?
Affection. He feels a degree of affection. It’s not the same as love.
‘I don’t want to go to the hospital. I just…Can we just leave?’
He looked deep in her eyes, then hustled her outside, his jaw clenched. ‘I’m not sure you realise how much I want—’ A harsh sound came from his throat. ‘I’ll take you back to the cottage. Attend to those scrapes.’
Before she could agree or disagree, he had bundled her into his car. They were almost at the cottage when he spoke again. ‘I can’t let you go back to your place, Chrissy. Not right now. Not even into the competent care of your sisters.’
‘They’re not there. Soph’s spending the weekend in the country, and Bella’s got some important thing on in Sydney.’
‘You shouldn’t have told me that.’ He stopped the car outside the cottage. In moments, he was at her door. ‘Come inside.’
Just that. Two simple words, but her heart raced, hope and need soared. She struggled to contain it, but her hand shook as she placed it in his.
Inside, Nate raised the heat on the electric wall unit. ‘It will warm up more in a few minutes.’ Instead of moving further into the cottage, he seemed to be locked in position just inside the door. His gaze held hers with such sensual heat that she thought she might melt.
‘I’m—not cold.’ I’m burning up with heat for you.
The planes of his face tightened. ‘I’ll get something to treat your wounds.’
He turned. Her Nate. Determined to do the right thing.
She looked at him, begged with her eyes for him to stay with her. To make love with her. She didn’t know who reached out, but in seconds she was in his arms.
‘Dear God, Chrissy.’ He pulled her closer still.
And his mouth covered hers.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
NATE’S whole body shuddered as he held Chrissy. Kissed her because he needed to have his mouth on hers. To assure himself she was well. Safe. He had contributed to her pain. Had caused some of it. He murmured against her lips, ‘I’m sorry I harmed you.’
Sooner or later, you hurt the ones you love. It’s why you chose to be alone.
The words filled his head despite his determination to keep them out. Tonight’s incident had nothing to do with his attitude to relationships, but the thought came, anyway, and belatedly he tried to force himself away from the brink.
‘No.’ Chrissy’s arms tightened around him. ‘No, Nate. No stepping back this time. Please.’
‘Dear God, Christianna. I should drive you home. If you stay—’
‘I know.’ Her gaze flared. A thousand slivers of knowledge coalesced in the liquid pools of her eyes. ‘I know what will happen if I stay, Nate, and I’m not leaving.’
And then there was nothing but him and her, wrapped in flaring desire and agonising need.
‘Take me to your bedroom, Nate.’ She cupped his face in her hands. ‘I know what I’m doing. I know what I want, and what I want
is you. Tonight. Everything I can have for this one night.’
He groaned. ‘I want you, too. I want to strip you slowly and see everything I reveal. I want to touch you, caress you, know you.’ He shuddered. Wondered if this was madness. But he couldn’t let it go. Not any more.
‘Then kiss me now.’ Her words flared through him as they moved into the bedroom, paused beside the bed. ‘Kiss me like you really mean it. Like you couldn’t possibly wait another moment for it.’
He laughed low and harsh, a sound straight out of his need. ‘Don’t you know that’s how it is? I couldn’t mean it more. I need you. Tonight…changed things. Changed me. I’ve lost the power to fight this, Chrissy.’
‘I’ve lost that power, too.’ Her mouth softened, her gaze softened as well, receiving him in spirit even before he could make it reality. ‘I need you, Nate. So much. Please don’t deny me any longer. Just this night….’
He moaned and lost the fight once and for all. He fell on her mouth as though the very elixir of life could be found within. Maybe it could, because that first press of his lips to hers sent a wave of heat from his toes all through his body.
‘Nate. Yes.’ Her responding shudder was accompanied by a low moan, and she pressed close, so close, the fabric of her gown no barrier to the shape of her, the warmth of her against him.
He would remember that sound, that feeling of her pressing close, forever. A shuddering breath filled his lungs and a wall of emotion welled up inside him. And his heart said yes. Yes, yes.
Her mouth made love to his, caressed and cajoled and filled him with the need to be more. To give more. To find more in her than he had found in life before.
His arms locked around her, held fast. He eased them by force of will, conscious of the scrapes on her shoulder and arm. ‘I don’t want to hurt you.’
‘You won’t. You aren’t. I hurt a lot more in other ways right now. I hurt for your touch. For you. Surely you know that.’ She stretched up, tightened her arms around his shoulders, arched her body into his. ‘Kiss me again, Nate. Kiss me again, and again, and again.’
He searched her eyes, looked at the kiss-swollen lips and needed her so much. Way too much.
Although Nate didn’t caution her again, Chrissy saw the warning in his eyes.
This will change things. Stop it, before it’s too late.
But her heart filled with the knowledge that it was already way too late.
I want it to be you, Nate. You’re the one I’ve waited for, even before I met you. I’ll never love like this again, so I’m going to take this night. Take it and hold it close for the rest of my life.
Maybe it would change him. The thought whispered through her senses, suggestive, beguiling. Maybe he would realise he wanted something more than his roaming lifestyle.
Fool! But right now she didn’t care. She just couldn’t. The decision was made, and she wouldn’t go back. Not for anything. Tonight she would have all of him, even if just for a moment.
‘Make love to me, Nate. We’ve avoided it, stopped speaking of it, but all we’ve done is mark time.’ As she spoke, she pressed her palms flat against his chest, slid them slowly down and around, caressing the taut line of muscle, the indent of each rib. ‘This had to happen. Please, let it be now.’
He searched her face for what felt like aeons, his arms tight bands of resistance that held, but refused to embrace. That enclosed, but didn’t encompass.
Then control snapped. The slender thread of it broke loose, and he swooped. ‘You had your chance to say no.’
Kisses rained over her neck, the sensitive skin of her chest above the sleeveless dress.
‘You don’t dress warmly enough for the weather.’ He growled the complaint even as his fingers trailed beneath spaghetti straps, caressed the indentations above her collarbone.
‘My coat was fur-lined. Faux fur, that is.’ Bella had made most of their clothes since the day their parents left them. Had dressed them to their strengths, to their personalities.
The ache that came with her memories lasted only moments, because Nate was kissing her again, and how could she be sad about the past with his kisses warming her? With the sound of his harsh, uneven breaths mingling with her own?
‘Come here.’ He tugged her into his arms, and closed them around her in sensual promise.
‘Are you going to eat me, Mr Wolf?’ The piece of whimsy slipped out, but he only growled deep and low.
His blue eyes flashed. ‘Are you brave enough to find out?’
‘Yes.’ Her smile faded. Slipped away. ‘Yes.’ She reached for first one cuff, then the other. Released the buttons, then pushed his shirt from his shoulders. ‘I want to touch you. Learn you. I want to know it all.’
Her fingers toyed with the light V of hair on his chest, enjoyed the crisp springiness.
He sucked in a sharp breath. Clenched his fists against her back, then his fingers splayed to begin their own journey of exploration. Along the ridges of her spine. Down over her buttocks and thighs.
Slumberous eyes linked with hers, but a fire burned in their depths. A fire that was just for her.
‘Take your dress off.’
The silky demand came through clenched teeth, and for the first time she hesitated.
Behemoth Bum wasn’t something she had thought about exposing. Until now. ‘Turn the light out.’
‘Not while there’s breath in my body.’ The fire was still there, but the touch of his finger beneath her chin was gentle. ‘Never. Not when I can look at you, can see what I’ve thought about, imagined. Longed for.’
His mouth was tight. His gaze tracked over her before returning to meet hers. ‘You’re beautiful and I want to see every part of you. To touch all of you. Let me.’
That easily, he stripped her of her last defence. She nodded. Stood shaking in his arms as the dress slid to the floor.
His hands shaped each part of her, shoulders, arms, waist, back, so carefully, so tenderly, that she almost cried.
‘What is it?’ His mouth pressed to hers, suckled her lower lip and slowly released it. Worshipped that part of her as his hands explored reverently.
‘It’s nothing.’ It’s everything. I hadn’t realised how this would be. How much I would feel. How strongly it would move me. Even wanting you so much…I didn’t realise.
He kissed her again, a building desperation in every movement of his mouth. Her lips clung to his, followed his. A reflection of what she felt inside. Of how much she needed to meld with him. To be closer than any closeness she had known. Would it be that way for him? Different? More?
Doubts filtered in, made their presence felt. ‘Will this be good? Will we both—?’
‘We’ll please each other, I promise.’ He showed her how much they could do that. Praised every part of her as he explored her body with almost desperate thoroughness. Shuddered when she clung to him. Fanned her hair across his pillow and begged her not to let him hurt her as his body strained with leashed need.
That plea was more than concern for the newness of this. For the fact that she had had no other lover. I will never have another lover.
The thought was fierce. Deep. Almost harsh in its intensity. He met that harsh fierceness with utter urgency.
And then she couldn’t think at all, could only feel as Nate loved her with trembling hands and fierce single-mindedness. Broken endearments poured over her as he lost himself in their loving. She clutched those precious words close as tears rose in her eyes and spilled over.
Joy and pain mingled, and then there was only joy. Such joy as they found their completion together.
He bathed her afterward, soft, soothing strokes as her eyelids fluttered and a deep languor stole over her. Then he wrapped something soft and warm around her. One of his shirts, she realised as he eased her arms into it and took care of the buttons.
She wanted to speak. To share the feelings that even now swelled inside her heart. But her body fought her, dragged her farther and farther into the deep
stillness of slumber. She was almost there when the light clicked off and Nate climbed into the bed beside her.
‘Sleep, my darling.’ His voice held a roughened edge, as though something harsh had scraped across his vocal cords. The clasp of his arms was strong, almost feverish before he drew a deep breath and seemed deliberately to relax his grip. ‘I want this night in your arms. I can’t bear…not to have it.’
‘I’ll give you…anything.’ Mumbled words. She pressed her nose into his chest, inhaled the scent of him. Anything more taxing than breathing was out of her range right now. And then she slept.
I’ll give you anything. Even in the deepness of his sleep, Chrissy’s words tumbled through Nate’s mind.
He drifted up through layers of consciousness. To full awareness of his surroundings. Of darkness filtered through by moonlight. Of Chrissy tucked against his body, her curves soft and beautiful even beneath the ugliest shirt he owned.
How much time had passed? An hour? Forever? I can cover you up, he thought, but it won’t make me forget.
Their lovemaking was etched in his mind, was threaded through his senses. Desperation and stark need had possessed him. Had taken him completely out of control, to some place where he could only feel. All his need for her. The sharp, aching knowledge that life would never be the same without her.
He raised a hand to stroke her hair. Just that, and his body trembled once again. Dear God, what had happened to him?
I can’t let her go.
The starkness of the thought made him tense all over. Their lovemaking had been equally intense. She had looked into his eyes with nothing but trust, had given all of herself freely.
Even in that overwhelming intensity, he had loved her the same way. Fully and completely in a way that was foreign to his experience.
She murmured in her sleep and ran one soothing hand across his chest, as though she sensed his turmoil and wanted to calm it. Twined a long, shapely leg against his pyjama-clad one.
What had he thought? That clothing would actually be a barrier once sleep left him? That it would protect him? Or her? He wanted her again. Right now. And again and again and again. I don’t want to let her go.