by A. E. Wasp
“Hey,” Troy said with a smile.
“Hey,” Dmitri echoed, holding out his phone. “My phone was off.”
“At least you didn’t leave.”
“I would never.”
Sweetie whined, pressing her nose through the iron bars of the fence.
Troy looked down, then his eyes widened. “Sweetie?” He bent over the low fence to pet her. “Hey, baby, how are you doing?”
“She’s doing great,” Dmitri answered. “I got her into a clinical trial at the lab. We’ve been having great results and the director thinks she’s a great fit.”
Troy pressed his face into the big dog’s golden fur, hands tightening on her neck. She just wagged her tail.
Moved by some impulse, Dmitri stood up.
When Troy straightened up, his eyes were bright. He looked away and up to the sky, blinking. “So, is she staying with you during her treatment?” he asked, voice rough.
“No. With you. I mean, she’s yours, Ron said. If you want her.” His voice faltered at the look in Troy’s eyes.
Staring right at Dmitri, Troy stepped right over the low fence like it wasn’t even there. Dmitri took an involuntary step back. Nervous, he licked his bottom lip, not missing how Troy’s eyes tracked the movement.
“What do you mean, she’s mine?” Troy stepped closer to Dmitri. Dmitri’s back hit the table, and he slid around it, backing up at Troy stalked forward.
“Um. Well, I talked to Ron, and I said I could get her into the trial if he wanted it. He did. Obliviously.” Dmitri pointed to the dog sitting calmly at Troy’s side. “But, he said, on one condition. That she stayed with you. If you wanted. I mean, he’s not going to force you, but he thought –”
Dmitri’s back hit the wall, and Troy would have to wait to hear what Ron thought because Dmitri’s mouth was suddenly occupied with Troy’s lips. His hands flew up to Troy’s shoulders, pulling Troy tight against him, relief flooding every part of his body and he never wanted to let go again. That didn’t appear to be a problem with Troy if the way he pressed Dmitri into the wall was any indication.
Troy’s mouth was heaven, and Dmitri’s eyes rolled back into his head when Troy shoved his leg between Dmitri’s. Troy’s fingers pulled Dmitri’s tangled curls, and Dmitri was totally prepared to get arrested for public indecency when Troy pulled away. The few patrons sitting at the other tables on the patio cheered and clapped their appreciation. College towns; gotta love them.
The server stood in the doorway, a bus tray tucked under her arms. “You boys want some ice water now?”
Dmitri’s cheeks flamed red, and he stared at the ground.
“No, we’re good,” Troy answered her. He tipped Dmitri’s head back up to look at him. “We are good, I think, right?”
“I- I- guess so?” It didn’t seem like Troy wanted to break up, but they definitely needed to talk.
“Want to get out of here?” Troy asked.
“Totally. But let’s use the gate like normal people.” Dmitri left a few more dollars on the table, tucked under the still-filled coffee cup. Sweetie led the way as they walked back to the car.
“Home?” Troy slid down into the Sentra’s passenger’s seat.
“Home.”
chapter thirty-seven
Troy sat on the edge of the couch in Dmitri’s living room. He looked around as if he hadn’t been there in a year instead of a week. Paint cans still sat piled up in the kitchen, and a stack of pizza boxes next to the garbage can showed that no one had been cooking recently. Dmitri swirled his drink around his glass.
Troy’d been happy to see him pouring soda instead of alcohol. That was the last thing they needed, no matter how much both of them wanted it right now because, despite the scorching kiss, there was definitely an awkward silence between them.
Troy pulled his backpack up onto his lap. “I got you something, too.”
“It’s not a dog, is it?”
“No, it’s not a dog.” Troy pulled a small package out of his bag. “But you do have to take care of it.” He held it out and dropped it into Dmitri’s’ open palm.
Frowning, Dmitri slid the hard plastic gadget out of the bag. His eyes lit up. “It’s a Tamagotchi!”
“Your very own.”
Dmitri turned the toy over and over in his hand. “You remembered.”
Troy shrugged. “It’s just a little thing. But I thought, you know, it would be easy for you take with you. Wherever you go. It’s okay if you have to move. Not that you need my permission.” He ran his hand through his hair and sucked in a deep breath to stop himself from talking.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
Troy exhaled like a deflating balloon, and Dmitri laughed at him. “Really?” Troy asked.
“Really.”
“Is it because of, because of me?”
Dmitri tilted his head back and forth. “No. And yes. Kind of. Is that okay?”
Troy knew what he was really asking. Is it too much? Am I too much? Is it too soon to matter so much to each other, to be making big decisions on the promise of maybe? “It’s okay with me,” he answered.
Dmitri sat the toy down on the table and reached out tentatively for Troy’s hand. “I want to be with you. I want to give us a serious try. I know I can be a dick, and I’m sorry. And I’m a coward. But I really, really want to try.”
Troy couldn’t stop the smile spreading across his face if he wanted to; luckily, he didn’t want to. “Are you sure?” He was horrified to hear the words coming out of his mouth. He’d missed Dmitri more that he’d imagined he would have this past week.
He ached to hold him; the kiss at Starry Night had only fanned the flames of his desire. “I know you know I’m getting help, and I’m working on things. But it’s not going to be a quick, easy fix.”
“Yeah. I know. And I can’t promise my terror of relationships and generally surly nature won’t rear their ugly heads either. Apparently, there are no definites in life, or so I’ve been told.”
“Wise words.” Troy caressed Dmitri’s fingers. “Is that why you decided to take Sweetie?”
“I couldn’t stand the thought of letting her down, of having to watch her not make it.”
They both looked over where Moby and Sweetie lay curled up next to each other on the big dog bed they had decided to share. “And what if she doesn’t make it?”
“That would suck so bad. And I’ll probably cry for a long time. But, you know, in the meantime, she’s here, and you get to have her, and she gets to have you, and I get to enjoy her. So why should I deny us all that because someday it’s going to hurt to lose it?”
Troy nodded, not trusting his voice.
Dmitri’s hand tightened on his. “But, Troy. I can’t – I couldn’t deal with losing you. Because of you, you know, because of something you did to yourself.” He closed his eyes and dragged Troy’s hand to his chest.
Troy wasn’t sure if Dmitri was even aware he’s done it. He felt Dmitri’s heart pounding in his chest. “That hour when I wasn’t sure if you were even alive; God, it was the worst hour of my entire life. I never want to feel like that again.”
Troy felt dizzy, blood throbbing in his ears in time to Dmitri’s heartbeat, and mouth drying up. More than anything, he wanted to be able to promise Dmitri that would never happen. Hell, he wanted to believe it himself right now. It seemed unreal that he had been so close to killing himself. He could remember the feeling, but distantly, like a faded dream. But he knew too much to believe that it had been a one-time thing. And he owed it to Dmitri, to himself, to whatever they could be to each other, not to lie. “I can’t promise I’ll never feel that way again.”
Dmitri looked pained, and he blinked away tears, his hand crushing Troy’s against his body.
“But I can promise that I will tell somebody if I do. You, Vincent, QT, whoever. Somebody. And promise me, if you see me slipping down that way, you’ll say something to me. Even if I yell at you, even if I deny it?”
D
mitri closed his eyes and pulled Troy hard against him. They tumbled down onto the sofa. “I promise.”
Troy shifted them both around until he lay tucked between Dmitri and the back of the couch, Dmitri’s arm around his shoulder, his head on Dmitri’s chest. Dmitri’s fingers traced lightly over the new tattoo on his collarbones. Two swallows faced each other across the spread of his chest.
“What are these for?” Dmitri asked.
Troy pulled the neck of his shirt down so Dmitri could see both birds. “Swallows. They always come home, no matter how far they fly.”
“Hmm,” Dmitri traced the outline of the one under his hand. He flattened his hand, sliding down Troy’s chest. “I like the way that sounds.” He turned onto his side until he and Troy were face to face.
“Me, too.”
“Can this be home?” Dmitri’s breath blew warm across Troy’s mouth.
“Are you asking me to move in?”
“Well, your dog seems really comfortable here. She’d be lonely without Moby.”
Troy slid his arms around Dmitri as best he could and kissed him lightly. “That would be a shame.”
“So, yes?”
“Definitely yes.” He kissed Dmitri again, their mouths meeting over and over in light, quick kisses until Dmitri’s breathing grew deeper.
He rolled them over, pressing Troy deep into the cushions, and pushed up on his elbows to look Troy in the eyes. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” And he did. No reservations on that score. He didn’t know everything the future held, not by a long shot. But he knew neither one of them had to face it alone. “We’ll work it out.”
“Work what out?”
“The money, your finances. Everything.”
Dmitri shook his head and smiled. “I know we will. I know I’m not alone anymore,” he said, echoing Troy’s thoughts. “But do you really want to talk about that now?” He punctuated his question with a filthy grind of his hips against Troy’s.
“No,” Troy gasped. “Not really. No.”
“Do you want to go to bed?”
“God, yes.”
chapter thirty-eight
Sunlight poured through the curtains, and the room looked nothing like the last time Troy had been there. Dmitri walked Troy backward to the bed, unwilling to separate from him. Troy shuffled up on the bed, pulling Dmitri with him.
They kissed long enough, and sweet and hot enough, that the kisses turned demanding, hands pressing harder, pulling each other closer. The sun streaming through the windows heated up the room, and Troy could smell Dmitri, the faintest hint of shampoo and cologne.
Grabbing two handfuls of Dmitri’s hair, Troy pulled him deeper into the kiss. Dmitri’s hands moved up and down Troy’s body, sliding across skin, nails digging in and yanking Troy tighter against him. He groaned and grabbed Troy’s ass.
Troy popped the button of Dmitri’s jeans and shoved his pants and boxers down in one smooth move. Dmitri yanked his t-shirt over his head and shook his feet free of his jeans, letting Troy pull him back down.
Their bodies came together like a revelation. “I love you,” Dmitri said, and Troy knew nothing had ever been like this before.
“I love you, Dimka.” He loved the way the Russian diminutive rolled off his tongue, and he savored it. Keeping it for their most intimate times. But they’d never been like this before. He’d never felt so exposed and so protected at the same time.
The friction between them drove Troy out of his mind. Dmitri stopped kissing him, but Troy forgave him when he latched onto the skin at the base of Troy’s neck, sucking and biting just right in between moaning Troy’s name.
Dmitri pulled off, resting his forehead against Troy’s, their hearts pounding in sync. “Troy,” he whispered. “Troy. God. Missed you. Missed you so much.”
The words echoed in Troy’s heart. Troy ran his hands up and down Dmitri’s back, reaching as far as he could, from the back of Dmitri’s thighs, over the swell of his ass, up the muscles in his back and into the silken curls of his hair. Up and down, up and down. It was supposed to be soothing, supposed to comfort and reassure while Troy thought of the exact right thing to say to make everything okay again. But it felt too good. Troy’s fingers bit into Dmitri’s muscles, and he couldn’t hold back a moan as his hips thrust up against Dmitri’s solid weight. “Jesus, Dmitri.”
Dmitri forced Troy’s legs open with the insistent nudging of his knees. Troy spread willingly as Dmitri dropped down into the cradle of his body. Knees bent, Troy’s legs clenched around Dmitri’s hips as they rolled relentlessly against each other with only sweat slicking the way. Their skin stuck and pulled. Troy wound his fingers in Dmitri’s hair, pulling their mouths together again.
Their soft moans, harsh breaths, and the soft slap of skin on skin were the only sounds in the room. Sunlight limned Dmitri’s body, casting a halo over his blond hair.
Too uncoordinated by desire to kiss, they breathed into each other. Troy licked at Dmitri’s lips, and his breath hitched so sweetly; Troy had to do it again. Dmitri’s mouth opened on a moan, and Troy licked inside, running his tongue along Dmitri’s teeth, across the sensitive palate, feeling the bumps and ridges there.
Dmitri whimpered and gripped Troy. Dmitri’s cock burned against the sensitive skin of Troy’s stomach, and there were so many things Troy wanted to do, but almost all of them involved the unacceptable price of letting go of Dmitri. All of them but one.
Reluctantly prying one of his hands off of Dmitri, he reached over to the nightstand where he knew Dmitri kept the lube. With a quick prayer of thanks to the no doubt horny packaging engineer responsible for the flip top, Troy flicked the tube open with his thumb and squeezed a ridiculous amount onto his fingers and palm. He rubbed his fingers together to spread the lube around, the silky fluid felt good on his hand. In one smooth move, he slid his hand between Dmitri’s cheeks, fingers dragging along his crack.
Dmitri’s head snapped back.
Troy dragged his hand deeper, and Dmitri buried his head against Troy’s neck, breath hot on Troy’s skin. “Oh God, oh God.” His hips thrust helplessly back against Troy’s hand.
“Is this okay? Can I?” He wanted to take care of Dmitri, to make him feel so good.
Troy felt Dmitri nodding silently into his shoulder, and it took all his willpower not to push his fingers right into Dmitri. He wanted to feel that heat, feel Dmitri clenching around him, and see his face as his mouth hung open slack with lust. “Is it okay?” He needed to hear Dmitri say the words.
“Yes. Please. God, Troy.”
“Okay, lift up, baby. C’mon. Just a little.”
Dmitri pushed up on his knees enough for Troy to slip his lubed hand between them. The way Dmitri shuddered and groaned as Troy slicked him up almost enough to push Troy over the edge. He breathed hard through his nose trying to stave off his orgasm. Yanking his hand away, he flailed about for the lube, squeezing more out over his hand, the nightstand, and probably the carpet. He couldn’t care less.
“Troy, Troy, Troy,” Dmitri chanted, rocking forward into the tight grip of his hand, slipping against Troy, and then rocking back against the imminent intrusion of Troy’s finger. “Do it. Please. God. Do it.”
“Well since you asked so nicely.” He slid his finger in up to the second knuckle. Dmitri’s garbled yell was almost words. Troy pressed further in, finger curving up, and Dmitri rubbed against him hard and fast, rocking back and forth.
Every time Dmitri’s cock slipped over Troy’s, every time Dmitri’s clenched fist stripped their cocks faster and faster, shocks of electric pleasure shot up Troy’s spine, making his breath catch in his throat and the blood pound in his ears. He wasn’t going to last at all. Breathing heavily, he grabbed a condom from the drawer. Dmitri took it from him, opening it, and rolling it gently down Troy as he straddled Troy’s thighs.
“Roll over,” Troy begged.
Dmitri sat up, hands on Troy’s chest. “No. Like this. I have to see you.
I want to see your face.”
All Troy could do was nod, wide-eyed, hands tight on Dmitri’s thighs as he rose up onto his knees, reached behind him, and slid down onto Troy.
Troy’s eyes rolled so far back into his head, he felt the strain. “Holy fuck,” he panted, hands clenched on Dmitri’s hip, fingernails digging into this skin. “Oh, my God.”
Dmitri’s hips rolled like waves on the sea, dragging Troy under. His legs trembled, his heart beating so hard, he could see it jumping in his chest.
Troy yelled as Dmitri bent down, trembling arms bracketing Troy’s head and shoulders. “Troy, Troy. I love you.”
Troy gasped for breath and wrapped his arms around Dmitri, dragging him against his body.
“Please,” Dmitri whispered breath hot against Troy’s neck.
Troy braced his feet on the bed and showed Dmitri how good he could take care of him. Their cries got louder and louder until Troy was sure anyone walking past could hear them through the open window. He hoped they did.
Panting, chest heaving, Dmitri arched up, grabbing himself, and came with a loud cry. He shuddered while Troy held onto him, and then collapsed onto Troy. “Come on, baby,” he urged. “Come on.”
Troy moaned, set his teeth in the hard muscle of Dmitri’s shoulder, and thrust up. His mouth open on a held breath and his back arched. His vision grayed at the edges as he trembled through the best orgasm of his life.
When he finally came back to something resembling conscious thought, Dmitri was kissing every inch of Troy he could reach without moving, and whispering Troy’s name over and over into his skin, and they were both covered with sweat.
“Holy shit.”
Dmitri laughed breathlessly. “You can say that again.”