It had started when the PA didn’t like the fact that Garrett and Gwen had both pulled their heads out of their asses and realized they loved each other. She’d been a woman scorned. Their manager didn’t like that the guys wanted to slow down, and blamed that on Gwen. The two of them teamed up to smear Gwen’s name in the media. Unfortunately, when the dust finally started to settle on that cluster, the slighted ex-manager came out of the woodwork again, this time targeting Tate.
That drama had finally been laid to rest about a month and a half ago, so things in the Civil Corruption world were finally simmering down. Or at least that’s what I was hoping. They were in the middle of a three-month world tour to promote their latest album, so it hadn’t been easy to keep up with Tatum how I’d have liked thanks to the ungodly time difference.
When she’d initially told me about the move, she’d offered to let me sublet her place, but I couldn’t see myself staying there without her. I’d gone on the apartment hunt, finally settling on a place I wasn’t really all that fond of.
It sucked to admit, but I hadn’t had a place feel like home since moving out of my parents’ house right after high school. My house with Daniel was a showroom, not a home—a showroom we couldn’t even afford—so I never felt comfortable there. Will’s house had been his, not mine, and I could never seem to forget that no matter how often he told me his place was my place for as long as I wanted. Even going back to my childhood home didn’t feel right anymore. I missed that sense of security, of belonging in the space I laid my head at night, and not being able to find it was really beginning to take its toll. And that was why I was still at the garage long after the sun had set.
“You don’t take a break, you’re gonna burn out, dollface,” Stone said in gentle tone that would surprise anyone who didn’t know what a soft, sweet man he was on the inside. “You’ve been going nonstop for months now. Only time you haven’t been here is when you went to visit your girl in Seattle a couple months back, and that was only for a few days. You need a vacation.”
No, what I needed was to find a way to get my life back on track. I’d been stalled ever since that last night with Daniel. I thought I was finally getting my shit together. Then Will passed and I found myself lost and wandering once again.
“What I need is to get this done,” I grumbled sullenly.
Stone, apparently having had enough of my arguing, stepped farther into the office and asked, “You back all that shit up?” with a tip of his chin at the computer.
“Uh….” My eyebrows pulled down at the odd question, and I tipped my head to the side. “Yeah. Why?”
Without saying a word, he grabbed the cord and jerked the plug right out of the wall. The computer screen went completely black.
“What the hell, man? I was working on that!”
“And now you’re not,” he stated like it was nothing. “Get your sexy ass outta that chair and get it home. You’ve done enough work for one day.”
“Stoney, please—”
“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doin’, sweetheart,” he said, his voice uncharacteristically soft. The tone and implication of his words set me on edge. “I know what today is, Ly. I know you’re avoiding it by burying yourself in work, but I also know it won’t help. You need to talk, I’ll listen. You need to get shit-faced, I’ll buy your drinks, but this isn’t how you’re gonna do it, baby.”
Lifting my hands, I rubbed at my weary eyes. “You’re a real pain in my ass, you know that?”
“Pretty sure I can live with that,” he replied, his lips quirking up in a tease of a grin beneath his scruffy jawline. “Now get gone.”
Knowing an objection would only bring me more frustration at the hands of Stone, I stood from the chair and bent to grab my purse from the bottom desk drawer, mindful to glare at him the entire time.
As I headed for the door, I paused only long enough for him to call out, “And you feel like taking a couple days off to relax, I can live with that too. Hell, feel free to take a week. But you come back with those circles still under your eyes and I’m gonna send your ass right back outta here. Then I’m gonna call your momma.”
I knew he was only trying to help because he cared, but as I made the drive back to my lifeless, dreary apartment, I couldn’t help but think that the only thing I had in my life to make me feel even the slightest bit useful was that garage. And with Stone and the other guys there, I wasn’t even all that necessary.
So what am I good for?
And it was that thought that plagued my dreams once I finally drifted into a restless sleep hours later.
“Jesus Christ, you’re worthless.” Daniel’s lips curled into a sneer that made every hair on my body stand on end. “Don’t know why I even married you. Waste of fucking oxygen.
“He’s right, you know.” At the sound of Mace’s voice, my gaze shot around to where he was standing in my office at the garage.
Will’s frame suddenly appeared in the doorway. “I mean seriously, Ly. What are you doing with your life? First you worked at a place you hated all because your rich daddy-in-law hooked you up with a job, and now you’re here because I felt sorry for you and took you on when that shit crumbled around you.”
I was pinned to my desk chair, unable to move while the most important men in my life hurled one razor-sharp insult after another at me.
“Stop it,” I whispered in a small voice.
“Oh look,” Mace said with a sarcastic pout. “Now she’s gonna cry. Could she get any more pathetic?”
“Please,” I begged. “Please, just stop.”
“Good for nothing,” Mace said.
“Waste of space,” Daniel bit out.
“Worthless,” Will added.
Each and every word tore my heart to pieces. They kept going, one after another, flaying me open with their hateful barbs until I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Stop it!”
I came awake with a yelp, shooting up in bed as my chest heaved like I’d just run ten miles at a full sprint. It took several seconds for me to figure out why everything around me was dark, and why my cheeks were wet. Then the dream came back to me.
Or should I say nightmare.
“Just a nightmare,” I whispered to myself as I brushed away the wet that had leaked down my cheeks in my sleep. “It was just a dream.”
It was then that I realized what had really woken me was my ringing cell phone on my bedside table.
With a shaky hand, I reached out and grabbed it, checking the name on the display. It was Gina, the band’s personal assistant and a close friend of Tatum and Gwen’s. I’d met her a couple of times, and she was unbelievably sweet. I liked her a lot, though I couldn’t understand why she was calling me in the middle of the night.
“Gina?” I asked after engaging the call and lifting the phone to my ear.
“Lyla, I’m sorry to call you so late. I know it’s the middle of the night there, but… well, it’s Mace.”
Not again. Please, God, not again. All the blood in my veins turned to ice. “What’s Mace?”
“Do you think it’s possible for you to get to Prague?”
Chapter Nineteen
Lyla
I was a fucking mess.
I didn’t know what time it was, what day it was, or where I was.
The entire plane ride from San Francisco had been a blur, and had it not been for Gwen holding my hand practically the entire trip, I probably would have come out of my skin. Thankfully, Gina and Tate had the band’s jet pick us up and take us to Prague, so we didn’t have to deal with bullshit security lines and layovers.
“He’s gonna be all right,” Gwen tried soothing as one of the security guys drove us through the still-sleepy city. “Garrett texted. The doctor said he was lucky. He’s in the clear, so that’s a good thing.”
It was. And while I was unbelievably grateful that he was going to be okay, it did absolutely nothing to lessen the flaming ball of rage steadily growing bigger and stron
ger in my gut. It was good he was okay, because I wanted to fucking kill him myself.
I should’ve known something like this would happen. Tatum never came right out and said it the few times we’d talked, but I knew she was worried, and if the most recent stories in the media were anything to go on, she had every right to be. In every celebrity news story I saw, they’d speculated that his hard-partying, wild-man ways seemed to be getting worse, and apparently they’d been right, because he’d just drunk himself nearly to death and right into the goddamn hospital.
“Lyla, honey? You hear me?”
Gwen’s voice forced my mind back to the present. I looked over to give her what I hoped was a reassuring smile. “I’m sorry. I kinda dazed off.”
She squeezed my hand, and I really appreciated the show of support.
“We’re here,” she whispered a few minutes later.
We climbed out of the SUV amidst the chaos of photographers and reporters huddled around wanting the scoop on Civil Corruptions lead guitarist’s most recent escapades. The vultures were so consumed with getting their hands on any juicy info that they weren’t paying close enough attention, and Gwen and I were able to walk right in without any of them so much as batting an eye.
We moved straight to the elevators and headed up to the floor we’d been instructed to go to before arriving. The instant the doors slid open, I spotted Garrett and Killian standing farther down the hall. Garrett’s head turned as though he sensed his wife’s presence, and the moment they locked eyes, his entire body visibly sagged with relief. He mouthed something that looked a lot like “Thank Christ” before coming at her like a charging bull.
Seeing them embrace, like they were each other’s everything, the very reason either of them was breathing, tugged at my heart so strongly it caused a physical pain.
Killian’s attention turned to me once we reached his side, and his arm came out to wrap me in a tight hug. “Hey, honey. How you doin’?”
“Where is he?” I asked, my tone as hard and rigid as the rest of me was.
Declan came up to join our little huddle. “He was moved to a private room just a little while ago. We should all be able to go see him in a bit.”
I turned my head to him and bit out, “Now,” so harshly everyone’s eyes widened. “Take me there right now.”
We all trudged along the hospital corridor in silence. When we reached his door my plan to storm right in flew out the window. I jerked to a stop when the memory of my last time in a hospital suddenly came rushing back to me. I froze, staring unseeing down the hall as I relived Will laid out on that hospital bed, his body covered by nothing but a thin white sheet.
“You okay?”
I was so wrapped up inside my head that I jerked at the sound of Gina’s voice. I hadn’t even realized Declan, Kill, and Garrett were already in the room until just then.
“Yeah,” I answered with a brittle smile. “I just need a minute.”
They seemed hesitant, but Gwen, her best friend Corrine, Tate, and Gina eventually moved into Mace’s hospital room, leaving me with a moment of peace. Closing my eyes, I pulled in a deep breath and whispered to myself, “You can do this, Ly. You can do this.”
It took another minute to calm myself down enough and push the image of my brother from my mind before I could find the nerve to go inside. Once I did, all that anger I’d been feeling since the call informing us that Mace would be all right came rushing right back.
His eyes came in my direction, his face paler than I’d ever seen. He looked like absolute shit, and shock registered across his expression the instant he saw me.
“Goldie, honey, you didn’t need to come all the way here. It wasn’t that big a deal. I’m fine.”
The fact that he had the nerve to sit there and say that to me made me snap. “Not a big deal?” I asked quietly before losing my shit altogether. “Not a big deal?” What happened next was like an out-of-body experience. I hadn’t even realized I’d moved until I was at his side, bringing my hand down against his face on a slap so hard it actually hurt my hand. “You selfish son of a bitch! You almost died!”
“Ly, honey—”
When Garrett spoke, my head shot around and I pinned him with a look before turning back to Mason. “You almost fucking killed yourself on my brother’s fucking birthday!”
Speaking that out loud took another piece of me. There was already so little, I wasn’t sure how much more I could lose before there was nothing left of me.
“Lyla—”
“Shut up!” I hissed, before continuing to pour out every ounce of rage and sorrow and gut-wrenching pain into my words. “You aren’t the only one who lost him, Mason. You don’t have a fucking monopoly on the pain of losing someone you love. Do you have any idea what it did to me to get the call that you were in the hospital? What it did to the rest of the guys, to Tate? Did you even once think about someone other than yourself?”
Not a single sound except for Tatum’s soft crying could be heard in the room.
“This is over,” I said when he didn’t bother to reply. “It ends now. You understand me? It’s done. You even so much as touch another bottle and you’ll never see me again.”
I hadn’t realized exactly how much I meant it until I said it, but there it was. And saying that took another piece of me as well.
“Goldie—”
He sounded as ravaged as he looked, but I was done. “No!” I barked as the tears I’d been battling since the phone call so many hours ago started leaking from my eyes and making tracks down my face. “I’ve lost too much. I’m not going to sit here and watch you self-destruct. You want to check out, you’ll be doing it without me.”
That was the last piece I was willing to lose today, so with that I turned and stormed out, rushing into a ladies’ room down the hall so I could dissolve into a sobbing heap without an audience.
Mace
I hadn’t thought it possible to feel even shittier than I already did, but obviously I’d been wrong. It didn’t have the first goddamn thing to do with alcohol, but everything to do with Lyla.
It had been nearly two days since I got out of the hospital, and while I knew she hadn’t gone back to San Francisco, I hadn’t seen her once. Not that I blamed her for staying away. Not after what I’d put her through.
But I couldn’t stay away. Knowing she was so close after months and not having her within reach was too much to bear.
Two days locked in this goddamn hotel room with nothing but my own company was quickly becoming miserable. There was only so much TV I could watch and so many games I could play on my phone before I lost my mind. It was either stay here and lose what little of my sanity I had left, or seek out the one and only person I wanted to see.
It wasn’t a choice at all. Exiting my suite for the first time in almost two days, I walked down the hall until I reached her door and gave it a gentle knock.
I silently counted the seconds down until the door finally creaked open and her beautiful face appeared.
“Mace,” she said hesitantly before stepping to the side to grant me entrance. I hadn’t realized I’d been holding my breath until that moment.
Letting out a huge exhale, I moved inside and listened as the door closed with a resounding click behind her.
When I turned around, she was standing just inside with her arms crossed over her chest, her stance withdrawn and cautious, but even then there was no missing how gorgeous she was. Even dressed in a pair of plain gray joggers and a simple white tee, with her face free of makeup and all that white-blonde hair tied up sloppily in a knot at the top of her head, she was the most breathtaking woman I’d ever seen. And fuck me, but I’d have given anything in that moment to see her smile.
“What are you doing here, Mace?”
“I….” I should’ve thought of that before I decided to crash her room. At least then I’d have had something to say.
Letting out a frustrated puff of air, I sank down onto the foot of her bed and scrubb
ed at the three-day-old stubble along my jaw. “I need to apologize,” I finally offered, deciding honesty was the absolute best policy in this scenario. “I swear to you, I didn’t think I had a problem—”
“Just stop.” Her hand came up and her eyes closed on a disappointed shake of her head. “Stop. No fucking excuses.”
“It’s not an excuse,” I exclaimed, shooting up and closing some of distance between us. She automatically backed up a step, and I felt that retreat in my gut like a shotgun blast. It fucking killed.
“I’m sorry, baby,” I whispered. “God, Goldie, you’ve got no goddamn idea how sorry I am. If I could take it back, I would. I never wanted to hurt you like that.”
Her shoulders slumped and her posture relaxed, but only a touch.
“You have to believe that,” I pleaded in a soft tone, chancing a step closer. When she didn’t move away, I closed the last of the distance and placed my palms on either side of her neck. “I never meant to hurt you, and I swear on my life that I’ll never do it again.”
Not leaning down the few inches it would’ve taken me to get to her lips took a strength I didn’t realize I had. Never in my life had a woman meant so much that I’d give up everything, fucking everything for her. If it was the last thing I ever did, if it killed me, I wasn’t going to touch another drop of alcohol as long as I lived.
“Mace.” Lyla’s voice was a barely there whisper as she reached up and wrapped her fingers around my wrists. “I’m glad you’re determined.”
“I am.”
Then her voice started to grow firmer as she continued to speak. “Good. I’ll hold you to that, because I’m not losing another person I love.”
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