“We’ll keep that in mind. So what comes next?”
She stepped back from the table. “The first thing I need to do is take a ride with you to see the layout of the trail and find out if it’s even possible for us to develop a campsite up there.”
“A ride? With me?” His voice sounded a bit strained to his own ears. Did he look as nervous as he felt?
“Yes, if possible. Then you can show me exactly what you have in mind. I can take my Forest Service horse. Do you have a horse you can ride?”
His heart gave a funny leap of excitement. The thought of spending time up on the mountain with this interesting woman brought him a feeling of anticipation he couldn’t deny. “Yeah, I can do that.”
“Good. What if I drive out to your place with my horse next week on Friday morning, about nine o’clock? I suspect our work will take the better part of the day, so we should pack lunches and plenty of water.”
“That sounds fine to me.”
“After I’ve inspected the area, I’ll need to perform an environmental assessment on the proposal.”
“What’s an environmental assessment?” he asked.
“It’s where I look at the work we need to do in altering the trail. The potential for erosion, the possible impact on the public and wildlife, the impact if we alter any vegetation and the scenery. Stuff like that. Before we build a campsite, I’ll need to also advertise this development in the newspaper and hold a public meeting for anyone who cares to attend.”
He frowned, thinking this sounded logical, but worried about what it might mean for the project. “Do we have to hold an open meeting?”
“Yes, why?”
“Some local ranchers may not like this idea. They can be rather difficult at times.”
She shrugged. “Then I’ll listen to what they have to say. It’s my job to respond to any legitimate concerns people might have. At this point, I don’t see any problems. But you never know what might crop up.”
“How long will all of this take?”
“Normally the entire process takes about two years.”
His heart plummeted. “I was hoping to get everything ready so we can use the campsite by next summer.”
The corners of her mouth creased in a smile. The expression lit up her entire face and made her soft brown eyes sparkle. Wow, she was pretty.
“Since this is for such a good cause, I think we can expedite the process,” she said.
A breath of relief filtered through his lungs. “Thanks, Julie. I appreciate your help. More than I can say.”
She chuckled. “Thank me later, after I’ve performed the assessment and told you what we can and can’t do.”
He frowned. “Should I be worried?”
She waved a hand. “Not yet. Let’s wait and see what we’re working with. You can worry later, after we find out what it’s going to cost. Then we’ll have to decide how to get the work done.”
He hadn’t thought about expense. “I’ve got access to some manpower, but not a lot of funds.”
“That’s okay for now. I’ve got some ideas that should help us out in that area. Once I’ve completed the assessment, I’ll need to issue you a special-use permit. No work can be done on the trail until then. And every phase of work will need to be inspected and approved. Understood?”
“Understood.”
They spoke for several more minutes, confirming their meeting time and discussing the options. By the time Dal left Julie’s office, he felt confident this trail and campsite would greatly augment the program they offered amputee kids at Sunrise Ranch. He also feared this was a huge mistake.
He couldn’t help enjoying being near Julie again. Gone was the little girl he once knew, replaced by an educated, beautiful, confident woman. But escalating his involvement with the ranger might prove deadly to his heart. He’d do it anyway, starting with his morning run. Like a freight train running out of track, he couldn’t stop now. Developing Gilway Trail would benefit the amputee kids, and jogging with Julie would help keep her safe. It would also give him an opportunity to find out about her life.
He just hoped he didn’t regret it all later on.
* * *
Julie sat at her desk and jotted some notes to herself. Trying to focus on work. Trying to stop thinking about the man who had just left her office.
Her body trembled. Several times, she’d been ready to blurt out the truth. That she remembered Dal, the plans they’d made and the hopes they’d shared. But that had all been ruined by one of her foster dads. A horrible, smelly man who had stolen her innocence and trust.
Focus, Julie. Don’t think about the past. Just move forward. You’re safe now. You don’t need anyone but yourself.
She tugged her thoughts back to her work. First thing, she should have Shauna draft an advertisement for an open meeting to put in the local newspaper. She could imagine some of the concerns the local people might have about Dal’s proposed project, and she planned to prepare beforehand. There was plenty of time for that. She’d know more once she viewed the trail with Dal in a few days.
Next, she should begin a preliminary environmental assessment and consider the animals that might be impacted by this change. Desert bighorn sheep. Rocky Mountain mule deer. Canadian geese....
She stopped writing, her hands shaking. The pen dropped to the desk. She laced her fingers together in a tight grip. Resting her elbows on top of her yellow lined notepad, she leaned her forehead against her fists and exhaled a tight breath.
This is just work. Just a very nice, attractive man you used to know. No need to be upset. It’s just business.
She tried to reason with herself. Tried to calm the anxious feelings rumbling around inside her mind. She’d overcome so much in her past and thought she’d learned to deal with men one-on-one. But maybe not. For some reason, Dal Savatch touched on old memories she thought were long buried. He was one of the few men who had tried to protect her from being hurt, even if he had been merely a boy at the time. So why did his presence bother her so intensely?
She knew. She didn’t need to ask herself the question. She liked him and longed to confide in him. She wanted to be friends with him again. Maybe more than friends. But she couldn’t. Not now, not ever. So she was upset. Because of the shame and uncertainty of her past, she didn’t know how he might take the truth of what had happened to her.
The fear.
Pushing her chair back, she stood and slid past her desk to stand in front of the only window in her office. She used her thumb and index finger to widen the slatted blinds and peered outside at the empty parking lot. No sign of Dal’s old pickup truck. Just her compact car and a few other vehicles that belonged to her staff members. Not a single person in sight.
Dal was fast, she’d give him that. And light on his feet. For the entire length of their meeting, she’d completely forgotten about his amputation. Until he’d left. And even then, she couldn’t believe how easily he moved. Smooth, graceful and masculine. Like he had no impediment at all.
She had nothing to worry about. No need to feel distressed by his presence in her office. And if he finally remembered who she was, she could act surprised and brush it off. For now, she’d focus on her work, help develop the trail and campsite and nothing more. She didn’t expect anything else, and neither did Dal.
Or did she?
That was just the problem. In spite of her reasoning and resolve, she wanted more. For the first time in twenty years, she wished...
No! She didn’t need a man in her life. She didn’t need anyone. She’d done just fine on her own. A solid education, a comfortable home and a challenging career. If she got close to Dal again, he’d want an explanation as to why she’d stopped writing and calling. Her reasons were her own, and she couldn’t talk about them with him. It had taken a gargantuan effort jus
t to discuss her sexual abuse with her psychologist. Telling an old boyfriend about it was impossible. Being by herself was for the best. No complications. No angst. No pain.
But maybe that was all wrong. Maybe she should put herself out there with Dal and see what life might bring her way. Maybe...
No! She whirled away from the window and returned to her desk. Plopping down into her chair, she picked up the pen, leaned over the desk and forced herself to write.
Vegetation impacts. Juniper. Aspen. Willows. Indian paintbrush. Snowberry....
She dropped the pen again and stared at the notepad. Moisture blurred the words in front of her eyes. She dashed the tears away, thinking she was being silly and emotional.
Jerking open the top drawer of her desk, she gazed at a picture of her parents. She kept it close by so she could look at them any time she liked. So she wouldn’t forget. But she didn’t leave the picture sitting out on her desk. Not where other people might see and start asking personal questions.
Why did Dal have to reenter her life? Why now? Over the years, she’d coped with being on her own. She’d dealt with her insecurities and fears. Hadn’t she?
Apparently not. At least not since Dallin Savatch had rushed back into her life.
She owed him an explanation. Her unexplained silence hadn’t been fair to him. If he knew the truth, he’d understand. He’d forgive her. But she couldn’t utter the words. Not now. Not ever.
Snapping the drawer closed, she reached for her purse. She had to get out of here. Had to clear her head.
Her fingers tightened around the straps as she slung the bag over her shoulder and stood. Gathering up a pile of files she’d set aside earlier, she walked to the door.
She was a mature, professional woman, not a vulnerable little girl anymore. Dal Savatch needed her help. She could assist him and Sunrise Ranch. That was all. Other than offering to run with her in the mornings, Dal hadn’t suggested anything more. He didn’t even remember her. She was making too much out of this situation.
Wasn’t she?
Walking down the hallway, she paused at Shauna’s desk long enough to tell the woman she was going home. And tomorrow afternoon, she’d drive out to Sunrise Ranch and visit with Lyn Baldwin. She’d spoken to the former ranger a couple days earlier by phone, and Lyn had told her to stop by anytime. Julie wanted to discuss several projects Lyn had been working on during her time as ranger. Hopefully, Lyn could clarify a few things for Julie.
In the process, Julie also hoped she might gain more insight into Dal Savatch. What it was about the man that she still found so appealing. And why she feared becoming friends with him again. Maybe then Julie could finally reconcile herself with the past and get the man off her mind.
Then again, maybe not.
Chapter Three
At 5:33 the next morning, Julie flipped off the kitchen light and stepped out onto her front porch. Hazy sunlight filtered past her neighbors’ dew-laden lawns. She breathed deep of the crisp air and shivered, wondering if she’d need a jacket for her daily jog. She decided no, that her exercise would soon make her hot and the breeze would cool her off.
Looking up, she froze.
Dal Savatch stood leaning against a tall cottonwood on the opposite side of her white picket fence. Dressed like her in runner’s shoes and shorts, he rested his weight on his good leg. With his arms folded, his large biceps stretched his gray T-shirt tight. Even as a teenager, he’d been well built, with muscles any girl would admire. But the fully grown man he’d become almost made Julie drool.
As the screen door clapped closed behind her, he lifted his head. Even from this distance, she could feel his penetrating stare like a physical blow. Lowering his arms, he stepped away from the tree. He paused at the gate, not entering the perimeter of her yard, but waiting for her to come down the front steps and join him.
“It’s a bit early for a visit. What are you doing here?” she asked, trying not to sound curt.
“Waiting for you. Remember, I promised to run with you.”
“You don’t need to do that, Dal. It’s a long distance out of your way.” Yes, she remembered his promise, but she hadn’t expected him to keep it. Not really.
“I want to.” He blinked, as though embarrassed by his admission.
He reached over and lifted the latch before pushing the gate open for her.
“Thanks.” She stepped onto the sidewalk.
His gentlemanly manners reminded her of the conscientious boy he’d always been. When other boys had paid their girlfriends little mind, Dal had rushed ahead to open doors for her, had brought her yellow roses from his mother’s flower garden, had said please and thank-you. In high school, Julie had been the envy of every other girl. Because she’d had Dal.
“So how long have you been waiting here?” She walked to the tree he’d vacated and braced her hands against the coarse trunk before stretching her calf muscles. Trying to appear unaffected by his presence.
“Not long,” he said.
“You could have come inside the house.”
“No, I didn’t want to intrude until you were ready to go.”
But what did he want? And why did his presence unnerve her so much?
“How far do you usually run?” She made small talk, avoiding the real questions pounding in her brain. Thank goodness he didn’t remember her and their whispered promises to each other twenty years earlier. Part of her longed for him to recognize her. The part that still cared for him and wished he felt the same.
Puppy love, her mom had called it before she’d died. But Julie had never felt anything so real before or since.
“I usually run six miles. And you?” Taking a position on the opposite side of the tree, he braced his left hand against the trunk, then bent the knee of his good leg up toward his back and caught the ankle with his right hand. He tugged gently to stretch out his quadriceps.
“Usually five miles. I don’t have time for more,” she said.
A whoosh of air escaped his lips as he released his leg. “Then we’ll run five today. Do you have some preferred routes you usually take?”
She nodded, pressing her left arm across the front of her body and holding it for the count of ten. “I measured the distance with my car’s odometer the first week I arrived in town. Because of my move to Stokely, I wasn’t able to run for a couple of weeks. I was eager to get back to it...and then I hurt my ankle.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. Exercise is addictive. I get antsy whenever I miss a day or two,” he said.
So much for small chat. She kept warming up, concentrating on her movements, trying to think of something more intelligent to say. But maybe it was best if they stuck to the trivial stuff.
“I told Cade and Lyn about our plans to view Gilway Trail on Friday. They’re excited about this project. So am I,” he said.
“Good. Me, too.” And she meant it. The thought of doing something positive to help the amputee kids at Sunrise Ranch gave her a good feeling inside. As if her life’s work meant something important, even though she had no family to share it with.
She finished her warm-up routine and stood watching him.
“Shall we?” He indicated the black asphalt.
With a nod, she stepped off the curb and ran down the side of the street. He followed, keeping pace beside her.
At the corner, she looked both ways, then crossed the street and headed outside of town. Her body felt jittery, wanting to run faster than normal. She made a conscious effort to hold to her usual pace. Dal adjusted easily, his steady breathing a comforting sound beside her.
They didn’t speak much until they reached the turnoff to Sunrise Ranch. Without breaking stride, Dal pointed toward the mountains on the south side. “That’s the trailhead at Gilway.”
“Okay, we’ll take a closer l
ook on Friday.” As they reached the dirt road, she pointed at a yield sign. “This is my two-and-a-half-mile marker. Time for me to turn back.”
He nodded and went with her.
“You don’t have to return with me, Dal. You’ve probably already gotten in more than six miles today.”
“I don’t mind.”
He kept running, and she had no choice but to keep up.
“You always were so persistent,” she said.
He jerked his head toward her, his eyes narrowed slightly. “How would you know that?”
Her face heated up like road flares. Without thinking, she’d given herself away. She’d never been much good at pretending and she detested keeping secrets, with good reason. Something she’d been forced to do for eight months when she’d been barely sixteen years old. Until her social worker had figured things out and yanked Julie out of a horrible foster home. But not before her foster dad had hurt her and destroyed her faith in humanity.
Dal stopped dead in the middle of the road and lifted his hands to his hips. He looked at her, a mix of anger and relief covering his face. “Don’t you think it’s time we both stop pretending we don’t remember each other?”
She released a gasp of air and came to a standstill. “I’m sorry, Dal. I—I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to move on. I just didn’t think it mattered anymore.”
“Well, it does. And I’ve still got some questions you may not want to answer.”
Her mind raced as she tried to slow her heavy breathing. Those old feelings of dread and fear seeped through every pore in her body. Like a caged and wounded tiger faced by a hunter carrying a loaded rifle. “Like what?”
“Like why you stopped writing me. And why you wouldn’t return my phone calls. What happened, Julie? You just disappeared off the face of the earth. Why did you abandon me?”
Her gaze clashed, then locked with his. In his eyes, she saw all the anguish she’d caused him. All the pain she herself felt inside. “I never meant to hurt you, Dal. Please believe I didn’t have a choice. Not really.”
Love Inspired February 2014 - Bundle 1 of 2: The Cowboy's Reunited FamilyThe Forest Ranger's ReturnMommy Wanted Page 23