“Would it scare you to be poor?”
“No,” Kate said and smiled slightly. “I’ve been poor before.”
The three hurried downstairs, and went at once to the study. Leland and Mark were talking together, and somehow Jori felt a chill. Fear was not something that came to her often, but her father’s face was somehow … broken. She did not know any other way to put it. She waited for him to speak, and when Kate closed the door and stepped inside, he cleared his throat and said, “The bank refused the loan.”
“What does that mean, Papa?” Jori asked quickly.
“It means we’re going to have to sell everything we can.”
“But not this house surely?”
“Yes. We can’t afford to stay here.”
“But it’s worth a lot of money,” Mark protested. “If we sell it, we’ll have money.”
“It’s mortgaged, Mark, so after the mortgage is paid off, we won’t get much.”
A silence fell across the room, and finally Jori cleared her throat. “I’m sure Gerald’s father will lend us some money. After all, I’m practically in the family.”
Kate suddenly made a snorting noise. “His family is so stuck up they can’t see past their noses. You’ll be lucky if that young man doesn’t break your engagement.”
“He’ll never do that! He loves me!”
Carleen did not miss the expression on Aunt Kate’s face. She knew disbelief when she saw it. She moved over and stood close to her father, looking up at him. “I can get a job, Papa.”
“Oh, I don’t think it’ll come to that, but it’s going to be different.” For a time Leland struggled trying to explain how they were going to have to cut back. “It would mean selling this house and finding a cheaper place. We’ll have to sell all of the things that—”
“What about the horses?” Jori asked at once.
“They’ll have to go I’m afraid, Jori. The place we rent won’t have any accommodations for horses.” Sadness touched his eyes. “It’s going to be very hard.”
Staring at his father, Mark said critically, “There must be something we can do.”
“I wish there were, son, but I can’t think what it would be.”
Kate said firmly, “We’ll survive. We’ll have to let all the servants go.”
Jori suddenly had a feeling such as she had never had before. It was as if she’d stepped on a trapdoor that had opened without warning. Servants had always been a part of her life—maids, drivers for the carriage, gardeners, cooks. They had been part of the universe that she moved in. She tried to think for a moment what it would be like having no servants, living in a small apartment somewhere, and it frightened her. She was a girl who was not easily frightened, but then she had never faced a situation like this. She half listened as her father and Kate set out the program they were going to have to follow, and the more she listened, the more she grew despondent and dreaded the future that was to come.
* * *
FEBRUARY HAD COME, AND Kate had watched her brother-inlaw struggle through the process of changing one life for another. For herself it was not all that difficult, for she had known a grinding poverty and hardship in Texas. But she knew that Leland and the children were stunned by the changes. She and Carleen had been the only ones to show any signs of cheer during the past two months. Both Mark and Jori had grown bitter, and Leland moved like a zombie through the days.
Kate had come into the study with a tray and moved to place it on a table beside Leland. “I brought you some of those cookies you like so well, Leland, and some coffee.”
“I’m not very hungry.”
“Leland, you’ve got to eat. You’ve lost weight. I’m worried about you.” And indeed Kate was worried. She had not forgotten the hard times in Texas, and as she studied the wan features of her brother-in-law she suddenly remembered how some settlers had just given up when hard times had come. More than one of them had simply given in, and hopelessness had killed them.
Now, as she kept her gaze on Leland’s face, a nameless fear ran along her nerves. “Things are never as bad as they seem,” she said cheerfully. “God’s not going to forget us, Leland.”
“Kate, I don’t know what to do,” Leland muttered. Misery colored his tone, and he seemed drained physically as well as emotionally. “I’ve tried everything, Kate, but nothing has worked. But we’re going to have to do something.”
“Have you tried praying?” Kate asked quietly.
“Well … no. I haven’t done that, but I’ve never been much of a praying man. I wish I were.”
“It’s never too late to start,” Kate said. “God speaks to us in our troubles. As a matter of fact, I think God whispers to us in our good times and shouts to us when we have problems.”
Leland picked up a cookie, took a bite, and chewed it, then turned and looked at Kate with desperation written all over him. “Mark and Jori are miserable. Carleen doesn’t seem to know how bad it’s going to be.”
“I think maybe we spoiled Mark and Jori. Maybe God is giving you a chance to try a different way with them.”
“We’re all going to have a different way!” Despair caught at him, and he said, “It’s a terrible time for us, Kate. I guess I don’t know what time it is in our lives.”
Kate put her hand over his. “If you want to know what time it is, brother, don’t look at your watch.”
“Why—what should I look at?”
“Look at the obituaries in the newspapers—or if that fails, look in the mirror.”
Leland stared at her, then laughed ruefully, saying, “That’s exactly what I don’t want to do, Kate.” He got to his feet, tossed the cookie down on the plate, then wheeled and moved out of the room as if fleeing Kate’s presence.
Kate picked up the cookie, looked at it, and then bit a piece off. She murmured softly, “Well, Lord, You’ve got a big job here, but then You’re a big God….”
* * *
JORI HAD HINTED TO Gerald about the bad financial situation her family was in. He had listened but had not seemed to realize how serious it was. He had merely shrugged his shoulders and said, “Well, sometimes things are good and sometimes bad in the world of business. Times are hard now, but things will get better.”
Jori had waited for him to speak of this, and when she told him that her father was selling the house and they were moving to another place, he was astonished.
“Why, I didn’t know things were that bad, Jori.”
“I’ve tried to tell you, Gerald. It’s worse than anything I can imagine. I’m going to have to sell my horses and my jewelry.”
At this point Jori half expected Gerald to offer to help with the problems of her family. She saw something in his eyes, and hope came to her strongly. But then Gerald said weakly, “I’m sure it will all work out.”
At that instant Jori knew that she would never marry this man, but she did not expect the decision to be made by Gerald’s family. That was the way it happened, however. The next time she saw Gerald was when he came to her home. He seemed embarrassed and so awkward that finally Jori asked, “What’s wrong with you, Gerald? You’re upset.”
“Well …” Gerald cleared his throat and seemed to be searching for words. “It’s my family. We were talking last night about our marriage …”
Jori waited for him to finish, but he seemed to have run out of steam. “What did they say?” she asked, and even at that moment she knew from the uncertainty in Gerald’s face what he would say.
“Well, they said … ah, that it might be best if we put it off—just for a time, you know.”
Jori stared at Gerald Carter, and at that moment she was stirred by two emotions. Anger ran through her as she realized that she was being rejected because her family had lost everything. This told her a great deal about the Carters, and she was suddenly aware that she had been blind to their snobbishness before—as long as she was not the target of it.
The other emotion was, strangely enough, a feeling of relief. I might ha
ve married him and found out what kind of a man he is when it was too late.
Without another word Jori pulled the engagement ring from her finger. She extended it to him. “Tell your family they can stop worrying, Gerald,” she said almost dryly. “I’m releasing you.”
Gerald Carter was startled—but there was no mistaking the relief that washed across his face. “Oh, you keep the ring, Jori,” he said quickly.
“All right, I will,” Jori said shortly. She dropped the ring in her pocket and felt a grim satisfaction in knowing that she would sell it at once. She looked at this man whom she had nearly married and thought about how close to disaster she had come. “Goodbye, Gerald. We won’t be meeting again.”
He tried to speak, but something in her face stopped him. He muttered, “Well, good-bye, Jori, and … I wish you the best.”
As Gerald left as hastily as he could, Jori pulled the ring out, stared at it for a long moment, thinking how filled with joy she’d been when Gerald had given it to her. Now it was just something to be turned into cash. Looking up at the door, she whispered, “Thanks for the great and wonderful love you gave me, Gerald. I’ll never forget it.” Burning tears came to her eyes, and with a quick violent gesture she threw the ring at the wall. It struck and fell to the carpet. Jori laughed harshly, then went over and picked it up. “Off to market you go, ring—and so much for romantic dreams of courtship and eternal love in marriage!”
* * *
THE FAMILY WAS GATHERED together in the kitchen eating a simple supper that Kate had made. The servants had all been dismissed, so the family had to do their work. Of all of them, Jori missed Caleb House most. Their love of horses had been a strong bond, and when she’d said the last good-bye to him, she’d felt like crying. “You’re the gloomiest man I’ve ever known,” she’d said tightly, “but I’m going to miss your predictions of doom.”
Caleb had suddenly grinned, a rare thing for him. The grin had spread all over his face. There had been no room for both the grin and his eyes, so his eyes seemed to vanish. “I don’t really believe all that bad stuff I said,” he nodded. Taking her hand, he said, “You’re going to make it, Jori. You’re tough like me.” He had turned and left, but his words and the grin had stayed with her.
As soon as Kate had asked the blessing Jori said loudly, “I’m not marrying Gerald.”
Leland was surprised. He put his fork down and stared at Jori. “What do you mean you’re not marrying him?”
“His family decided that we didn’t have enough money.”
Leland flushed. “You can’t tell me, Jori, that they would do a thing like that because—”
“Yes, Papa, I can.”
“I could have told you that,” Kate said. “Good for you! The man had no more backbone than a jellyfish!”
“I’m glad, sister,” Carleen said at once. “I never liked him much anyway.”
Mark was staring at his sister. “You could sue him for breach of promise.”
“No, but I got this out of him.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out the solitary diamond. She handed it to her father and said, “Sell that and get what you can for it.”
Leland took the engagement ring, stared at it. It was just another minor disaster, and he shook his head sadly. “I’ll see what I can do,” he said, slipping it into his pocket.
Kate got up, went over and put her good hand on Jori’s shoulder. “That was a close call. You’d have been miserable married to a jellyfish.” She stroked Jori’s shoulder in a loving gesture. “That ring was the best part of him, anyway. Now you can wait until God sends you a good man.”
Jori’s lips drew tight, and she said rebelliously, “God will have a long wait, Aunt Kate. Men! I’m finished with the breed!”
Carleen piped up at once, “But how will you have babies if you don’t have a husband?”
Jori laughed shortly as she rose from the table and gave them all a defiant look. “I’ll adopt orphans!” she declared, and stalked out of the dining room.
* * *
JORI THREW HERSELF INTO the business of disassembling the life that they all had known. Everything not absolutely essential had to be sold. A place to live had to be found, but most of all they had to have a way to live. Her dreams had been so bad that she’d slept little. Most of them had been filled with fantastic scenes so terrible that she woke up in a cold sweat. She didn’t speak of this to anyone but dreaded going to bed with every nerve crying out.
“It looks like we’re going to have about ten thousand dollars left after everything is sold and the bills are all paid.” Jori was sitting at her father’s desk, going over the bills. She looked up and shook her head. “That’s all we’ll have, Papa.”
“That’s not much, is it, daughter?”
“No, it’s not,” Jori said. “It’s not enough capital to loan out and live on the interest.”
“But if we use the capital, we’ll have nothing when it’s gone.”
Jori Hayden was a strong-minded young woman. She had taken a double blow and taken it well. The loss of the family fortune was the worst, but being rejected by Gerald and his family, though less painful, had still been unpleasant.
“We’ll have to go into business,” Jori said, “using this as a start.”
“But, Jori, I don’t know any other business except being a stockbroker.” Bitterness tinged his voice as he added, “And I was a total failure at that.”
Jori went over and put her arms around her father. She felt a great pity for him, for he was really a man who did not know how to handle trouble. Neither did she, but as she put her arms around him, she knew that she was stronger than him.
“We’ll have to learn,” she said firmly. “There’s something out there we can do, and we’ll find it, Papa!” She spoke with all the force she could summon, but doubt tugged at her even as she spoke, dragging her down like an anchor.
Chapter Three
JORI LOOKED UP WEARILY from the scattered papers on the table in front of her. The sound of a voice flowed in from the front street, and she rose and went to the window. The frost had coated the pane, so she lifted the window and looked down onto the yard beneath. A young boy bundled up in a coat far too large for him and with a wool stocking cap pulled down to his eyes looked up at her. He was pulling a wagon and had come to the front door singing his song:
Peanuts!
Two bags for five!
They brush your teeth,
They curl your hair;
They make you feel
Like a millionaire!
Peanuts!
Two bags for five!
For a moment Jori stood watching until the door opened as she expected it would and Carleen came out, took two bags from the boy, gave him some coins then disappeared. The boy, whistling an off-key tune, pulled his wagon around and trudged along down the driveway, singing his peanut song.
Jori moved heavily back to the desk, sat down, and stared at the papers. Slowly she moved them around, making notations in a tablet. She had taken over the business of selling what could be sold and had thrown herself into the work so completely that she went to bed tired each night. Still, as she sat there, the thought of poverty touched her and laid a frost on her nerves. She had never known want, and the idea was frightening to her.
She stayed at the job, doggedly trying to sort out those things she simply could not bear to put up for sale and listing those that she could. At times she felt like an equilibrist, striving desperately to keep her balance on a high wire. Once she heard a carriage stop outside but didn’t leave the desk. Shortly afterward the sound of horse hooves came faintly leaving the driveway and heading for the main road. Following this she heard footsteps coming up the steps and looked up as the door opened. “What is it, Kate?”
“It’s not good news.” Kate stepped inside, shut the door, and came over to stand beside Jori. “That was the police.”
“The police! What did they want?”
“It’s Mark. He’s in jail.”
Jori stared at her aunt, disbelief in her eyes. “What do you mean in jail? What’s he done?”
“It’s not serious—or so they said. The charge is drunk and disorderly, but someone has to go down and pay the fine, and I’d rather it wasn’t Leland.”
Jori leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. “Well, that’s just what we needed,” she said bitterly, “a drunk in the family.”
“Mark’s not a drunk. A drunk is someone who gets drunk all the time. Mark’s unhappy as we all are. Don’t worry about it,” she said. “I’ll go pay the fine.”
“How much will it be?”
“I don’t know, but I’ll pay it. How are you doing with the list?”
“I think I’d like to just put the whole thing up for sale,” Jori said bitterly, “rather than sell it all piecemeal.”
“Don’t be foolish.” Kate gave Jori a hug, adding, “You’re doing a fine job. I’ll go down and get Mark out.”
* * *
MARK EMERGED FROM THE inner bowels of the Little Rock Police Station looking like it had been a rough night. His right ear was red and swollen, and he had evidently thrown up on his clothes. He looked all in all perfectly miserable. “Here he is, ma’am,” the officer grinned. “A little the worse for wear, but he’ll live.”
“Thank you, officer. Come along, Mark. I’ve already paid your fine.”
Mark had a hangdog expression. He said nothing, however, and when they were outside he became suddenly defiant. “I guess I’ll never hear the last of this. A Hayden in jail!”
“I don’t think you’ll be hearing much about it.”
“It wasn’t my fault. I was just having a drink and this fellow—”
“You drive,” Kate interrupted as they stepped in the carriage.
She waited until Mark had spoken to the horses and they had begun their journey homeward before she turned to face him, “Mark, you’re acting like a baby.”
“I don’t want to hear any sermons, Aunt Kate.”
“I don’t care what you want. Listen to me. You’ve never had any hard times, and now you’re having some. You’re not handling it well.”
Santa Fe Woman Page 3