by Natavia
“We are family and this is not the time! We have to stick together!” Britain said.
“This nigga ain’t real fucking family! He blaming this shit on me when it’s his bitch-ass daddy fault all this shit even started! The only reason that bitch was even trying to get close to me in the first fucking place was because of Yager!” Kenjay said to O’Shea.
“I’m just going to leave because you are talking real G! Don’t go over any arrangements for her funeral by yourself because she was my fucking mother, too!” O’Shea said walking to the door.
“Nigga, your mama is already buried six fucking feet under! Take your ass on!” Kenjay said.
O’Shea turned around, popping Kenjay in the mouth then they both went at it. They started whipping each other’s asses.
“STOP IT!” Britain said crying and so did I. There was so much going on I didn’t know what to do.
Britain tried to break it up then she got pushed on the floor. They must have forgotten she was pregnant.
O’Shea cocked back hitting Kenjay in the mouth then Kenjay swung back, knocking him into the wall then they both fell over the red Hazard trash can. Nurses and security came in trying to break them up. They were fighting each other like they were two strangers on the street.
My hospital room was filled with security officers. They fucked my room up and even put a hole in the wall. I cannot believe the way they were throwing down. I think it was their way of grieving over Tammy because they were really hurting each other. They didn’t have anyone else to take it out on at the moment but each other.
“You two are fucking brothers!” Britain yelled. I’m happy she didn’t hurt herself when she fell.
Kenjay got away from security, slamming O’Shea into the wall then O’Shea gave him a sharp jab in the ribs. Now, I wanted to get up and slap O’Shea for punching Kenjay like that.
“All of y’all need to get fucking fired! Why can’t y’all break these two up? It’s all of y’all and only two of them!” Britain fussed.
Two more big, sturdy security guards came in but I think these two belonged to O’Shea. They must have heard all the commotion from the waiting area. I know O’Shea didn’t want them under him all the time just close by.
They finally broke them up then the police came in. My room was packed like sardines. They put handcuffs on Kenjay and O’Shea and I just cried. One crazy-ass bitch was responsible for all of this!
Two days later…
Lo-Lo walked into my room and I rolled my eyes. My family had been in and out of the hospital and I just wanted to be alone. I was tired of seeing people! But I’m definitely not in the mood for my cousin, Lo-Lo. She has pink braids in her hair, a nose ring and an eyebrow piercing. She was wearing some colorful printed leggings with a tight, black stretch hoodie and on her feet were some stilettos. She was a about a size 20 and just didn’t give a damn! She had a stomach that stuck out but it didn’t hang over. She had big breasts, a wide ass and hips. I loved her to death but she was so ghetto it was embarrassing.
“What do you want, Lo-Lo?” I asked and she popped her gum.
“So, I had to find out from your mama that you let some crazy bitch kill your baby and your man’s mama? Bitch, this isn’t a Lifetime movie! You couldn’t shank that bitch? Let me get a hold of her ass! I would rip her into shreds! I wish a bitch would run up on me like that!” she said lighting a Black and Mild with her long, black witch nails. She also had rhinestones and glitter on all of them.
“Get the fuck out of my room! I’m not trying to argue with you!” I said as tears ran down my cheeks. She handed me a tissue.
“You cannot smoke in here!” I said to her.
“I need something to calm my nerves! I’m going to find this hoe! That bitch’s face is plastered all over the news. They even said she changed her identity!” Lo-Lo said.
“She has! That bitch’s hair is shaved off! She also put on some pounds since the last time I saw her! She was skinny but now she is almost my size. She looks very different and I doubt they took any recent pictures of her since she been in there! All the documents in that facility have burned down so they might not never find her ass!” I told her.
“I want to know how that bitch escaped!” Lo-Lo said, blowing smoke into my face.
“I don’t know but she should’ve been locked up in a prison! Those mental hospitals are easy to get out of! That was not a real damn jail! I been dreaming about her face and Tammy’s face for the past few nights! I want that shit out of my head! My fucking baby is gone! Tammy and I were planning my baby shower!” I said crying.
Lo-Lo put her Black and Mild out then hugged me as I cried on her shoulder. Kenjay walked in and his eyes looked tired. Although, I lost a baby my pain didn’t amount to what Kenjay was feeling. You could see it on his face and the way that he talked that he would never be the same. But a part of me was mad at him because I felt like all of this was his fault. Apparently I didn’t know too much about Kenjay if he was capable of doing the things that Janae said he did to her.
Lo-Lo rolled her eyes at Kenjay. They usually got along but my whole family was blaming him for all of this. I was surprised the hospital staff didn’t give him a hard time for visiting because of what he and O’Shea did to the room I was in. They messed it up so bad they had to move me into a different one.
Kenjay sat my bag down on the chair with my clean nightclothes in it. He grilled Lo-Lo. “So y’all been talking shit about me, huh?” he asked her.
“Kenjay, don’t start any shit with me right now! My cousin is in the hospital in fucking pain! She was shot by some bitch you was fucking and she lost her baby! I’m not in the mood for your bullshit today!” Lo-Lo said.
“So, you believe this shit too, huh? Your fucking family calling my phone and cursing me out saying it’s all my fault! Everyone pointing fingers at me like I didn’t lose anyone! My fucking mama and my son in the same damn day! I’m losing my mind and all your family is doing is blaming me! You just had to tell them that I fucked Janae, didn’t you?” he asked me with veins popping out of his neck.
“You need…” Lo-Lo started to say until Kenjay hushed her up. “Get your big, colorful ass out! I need to talk to Latavia privately! Y’all nosey motherfuckers are too much in my fucking business as it is! Y’all claim y’all love her so much but none of y’all motherfuckers have even helped her with the baby shower! You know who was there for her during her pregnancy? It was my mama and Britain! None of y’all ghetto bitches didn’t even see how she was doing, but now y’all all concerned! Y’all some fake-ass bitches! If I have to tell you to get out one more time, I will drag you out!” he said to her.
Lo-Lo got up. “I will call you later!” Lo-Lo said kissing my cheek then she walked out. Kenjay pulled a chair next to my bed then grabbed my hand, kissing it.
“You hate me?” he asked, looking at me with sad eyes.
“I don’t know. She said you set—” he cut me off.
“Yo, certain shit is not to be discussed in places like this. We can talk about this shit when you get home! I asked, do you hate me!” he said sternly.
“I don’t know!” I told him. A tear slid down his face.
“You are hurting me right now! You can barely look at me!” he said as another tear slid down his face. He wiped it away.
“Just leave!” I told him.
“I’m your fucking man! I’m not going nowhere!” he said, taking a seat on the couch then pulled his phone out as it went off. He looked at it then ignored it.
“My mother’s funeral is in five days and I’m not prepared for this shit! Jace funeral is in three days. My shorty not feeling me. Your family looking at me funny and I said some fucked up shit to my brother. My life isn’t shit anymore and the one person that I need in my corner right now turning her back on me!” he said standing up.
He kissed my lips, “I love you!” he said then walked out as I broke down crying.
Kenjay
I watched on as my son’s sma
ll casket lowered into the ground. Britain, O’Shea and Shia were standing behind me. He and I weren’t speaking but was still there for me. Latavia’s family was on the opposite side grilling me. She was still in the hospital and wouldn’t be released until next week. My grandmother and my aunts were looking at Latavia’s family with mean-mugs. If this wasn’t a grieving moment, I think that all hell would break loose. My twin cousins Sameer and Jameer looked like they were about to shoot Latavia’s brother. This shit was a hot-ass mess. My phone vibrated in my pocket and I was sure it was someone looking for some work. It had been going off like this for the past five days. In two more days I had to bury my mother.
After his burial, I headed back to my car then Latavia’s brother, Tuchie, approached me along with a few of her guy cousins. I would bust on these fools if they acted like they were about to do some shit to me.
“Ay, nigga! This all of your fault!” Tuchie said to me.
“Motherfucker, this not what you want! What the fuck you wanna do, young?” Sameer asked him then Jameer grilled them.
Jameer was the quieter one but he would fuck you up in a second. Sameer was the voice but he got down and dirty, too. He and Jameer were identical and you could only tell them apart because of the tattoos. Jameer didn’t have any tattoos but Sameer was covered in them except for his face. From the neck down the nigga was tatted. They lived in the D.C. area so the niggas around here didn’t know them too much.
The twins were twenty-two, which was two years younger than me. Their mother and my mother are sisters. Their father is all black, though, so they don’t look Spanish like I did. They had those Asian eyes, though, like everyone else in my family.
I pulled Sameer back then stepped in front of him. “Look, nigga, check this shit out real quick! First off, nigga, back the fuck up! You are too close and when a nigga gets too close, I have a right to start busting!” I said then he took a step back.
“I smell pussy!” Sameer said smiling.
“Nigga, don’t you ever run up on me like that again! Next, time I’m knocking all y’all bitch asses down like dominoes! Now, you want beef, nigga, bring it to my crib! You know where I live and I don’t mind eating that shit! But this shit here is about my SON! I’m sick of all you, fuck niggas! Y’all want to do something, do it! If not, go on about your business because I don’t bang with y’all niggas!” I told them.
Tuchie was a snake-ass nigga that I heard about in the streets. I didn’t know he and Latavia were related until I saw him at her family reunion months back. She didn’t talk about him like she did her other family members and I wondered why. Latavia’s whole family was dysfunctional to me.
Tuchie smiled along with Kyzie and Dizzy. O’Shea came over as Britain and Shia got into the car.
“You good?” he asked me.
“Fuck are you going to do, nigga, if he wasn’t? Fake-ass gangsta rapper!” Dizzy said. O’Shea laughed.
“Is that your bitch over there in the blue dress?” he questioned him. Dizzy looked back then turned back around. “Nigga, you know my shorty?” he asked.
O’Shea laughed. “Naw, but she snuck me her number then offered to top me off for some backstage passes to my next concert. She seems to think I’m that nigga! Look, at her smiling at me and shit! But I’m good on that, nigga!” O’Shea said making the twins laugh. I had to chuckle myself.
“So, I asked the bitch who was her favorite rapper. She tells me, ‘You are.’ Seems to me your shorty thinks otherwise!” he said making the twins crack up.
“Fuck all of this shit! Are these niggas trying to get it cracking or what?” Sameer spoke up.
“I will get up with y’all later, Kenjay, this shit is not over, my nigga!” Tuchie said to me as him and his cousins walked away.
“I fucking hate that punk-ass nigga!” I told them.
“Yo, when O’Shea told that nigga his girl wanted to suck his dick, his fucking soul left out of his body! You murdered that nigga’s pride! He is going to go home then beat her ass!” Sameer said cracking up and Jameer just shook his head.
Lo-Lo walked over to me.
“Not now, Lo-Lo!” I told her.
“I just came to apologize to you! The family just grieving over Jace and the pain Latavia is going through. I know you love my cousin and I know that you will do whatever it is that you have to do to make sure it never happens again!” she said popping her gum. Lo-Lo wasn’t an ugly girl when she wasn’t running off with the mouth. She had a cute face with dimples. I was glad she took those pink braids out of her hair. She was wearing some type of bushy curly do.
“It’s all good!” I told her, waving her off. She hugged me, squeezing me. “Damn, Lo-Lo, your sumo-wrestler ass about to crush my ribs!” I joked then she laughed.
“I’m sorry, Kenjay! Heyyyyy, O’Shea! When are you leaving Britain?” she asked him.
He laughed. “NEVER!” he said.
“Umph! When you get tired of her come and holla at me! I’m the real BBW!” she said then switched off.
“Damn, nigga! Since you went public with Britain all the thick girls be wanting you!” I told him talking to him for the first time after we got into that altercation.
“Yea I know! But I need rap to you real quick!” he said. The twins walked off.
“I apologize for that shit at the hospital! It’s been eating me up for the past couple of days. I know it wasn’t your fault. Tammy didn’t birth me but you know she is my real mother,” he said.
“Yeah I know! We brothers and I didn’t mean to say that shit to you! A nigga just needed to vent, ya feel me?” I asked him, then he gave me a dap and a hug. I winced a little bit because those blows he sent to my rib cage hurt! It even had me walking funny.
“Yo, you got a serious left hook, though!” he said laughing.
“Nigga, those blows to my side almost made a nigga weak!” I told him then he smirked.
“I get up with you later! I will be over your crib tomorrow. We are ready to go to holla at Latavia. Oh, and those charges are dropped that was against us for destruction of property at the hospital. I wrote them a check, so they should be good,” he said.
“Thanks, yo, I appreciate it!” I told him. He walked off and everyone was leaving as I was still standing there. I never wanted kids because of the life that I chose; there wasn’t room for any. But when Latavia told me she was carrying my seed, it changed all of that. I was about to have my firstborn but that crazy bitch screwed that up for us. Jace didn’t even have a chance to open his eyes. He was killed in his mother’s womb a few weeks away from his birth date. This shit was eating me alive but Carla hadn’t seen nothing yet. I been hustling for six years and I never had real beef with a nigga. I cannot believe I’m about to go to war with a bitch!
Two days later…
My mother’s funeral was crowded, the majority being our family. Our family was big. The twin’s mother, Sheri, sang “His Eye is On the Sparrow.” I was in the front row along with Britain, O’Shea and Shia. Britain grabbed his hand as O’Shea’s eyes teared up and he squeezed her hand back. Britain had been by O’Shea’s side through it all, no wonder he put a rock on her finger. My shorty didn’t even fucking look at me! When I visited her I stayed for a few minutes then left. These past couple of days she had been giving me hell! Before the funeral this morning, I went to see her and she told me she wished it was me who was getting buried today. It took everything in me not to choke her dumb ass.
That bitch is selfish and I understand how she must feel but she didn’t give two fucks about my feelings. This was exactly why I didn’t want to fall in love in the first place. The pastor preached then they sang. He talked about gang violence in the black community and after a while, my mind lost focus as I stared at my mother’s beautiful white casket with gold trimming.
After the service was over, O’Shea, my cousins and I carried her casket out. Her casket was put into the back of a white carriage. The horse that was pulling the carriage was all white with flowers a
round its head. Doves flew as the horse pulled the carriage down the street to her burial site. The last bit of me is gone!
Britain looked at me. “You have us, Kenjay! Don’t give up! Tammy is in a place that we all have to go to someday. We will see her and Jace once we get there,” she said hugging me.
The next day…
Latavia was being released today and I was picking her up to bring her home. As soon as I got into her room she grilled me. She hadn’t been eating and her caramel complexion was no longer radiant like it was at first. She had bags under her eyes and she just didn’t look the same. They said when tragedy strikes it brought people closer together. In this case, it was drifting us apart.
The nurse handed her a folder with her hospital papers in it then they brought me a wheelchair because she could barely walk. I grabbed her bags then pushed her out.