by Lia Lee
I was confident in my math. My cycle had always been very regular. I wasn’t as worried about it as Brent was, which was a relief. A lot was changing for me now. Brent had finally noticed me as a woman. I had been promoted. I just found out I had a sister when I’d always thought I was an only child. To fall pregnant now, or even to worry about it, was a stress I didn’t need.
On Sunday, I went to see my mom. I felt like my whole life had been turned upside down, and it felt good to do something normal and stick to a routine that finally made me feel calm again. My stomach had been clenched so tightly for days now.
Mom hugged me, and all that tension evaporated. Going home was exactly what I needed.
“How are you doing, my honey?” Mom asked.
“I’m all right,” I said. “I’ve had a rough week.”
Dad came out of the house, and I hugged him.
“Hello, pumpkin,” he said, dropping a kiss on my hair. I had missed him. His business trips were never very long, but knowing he was away made it worse.
We sat down to lunch together and joked and laughed. I told them about my promotion, and my parents were ecstatic. They’d always supported me, wished for the best for me, laughed and cried with me. I looked at the two people who had taken me in and raised me, and a lump rose in my throat. I was so lucky to have them.
The lunch was so much like old times I ached. I thought about Zoe, the sister I never knew I had. She hadn’t grown up with all of this. She’d had a completely different life. I didn’t know if her life had been good. All I knew about her was her first and last name, and that she apparently looked like me and had a lot of money. What memories did she have instead of the ones I had?
After lunch, Mom headed out into the garden while my dad parked in front of the television to watch whatever sport was in season. When we had our fingers in the soil outside, Mom glanced at me.
“What’s bothering you, sweetheart?” she asked.
I sighed. Of course she’d noticed something was up. My mom knew me better than anyone.
“I met with Morgan Taylor,” I admitted. I hadn’t told my mom when I had gone. I hadn’t known I how felt about it, and I wanted to make my own mind up about it.
“Really?” She stopped what she was doing. She sat back on her heels and looked at me, curious, unsure.
I nodded and told her everything Morgan had said. I told her about the third sister who’d apparently died very early. I told her about Zoe, who wanted to meet me.
“I don’t know if I’m ready for that. I’m scared that if I meet her, life as I know it will be over. And everything is going so well for me.”
“I understand that,” Mom said. “It’s a risk, but every choice we make is a risk that everything will change. No matter how happy we are.”
She was right, of course.
“Are you sure that’s the only reason you’re reluctant to meet Zoe?”
I pulled up my shoulders. “I guess not. I know that Zoe was adopted, too. But she went on a search for our birth parents. I’m worried that I’ll have to meet them now because she found them.”
“Are you not ready for that?”
“I don’t know if you are,” I admitted, finally saying what was really bugging me.
Mom shook her head. “Honey, don’t let that hold you back. I’m so happy that you’re thinking of me, but no matter who you meet, I will always be your mom. I adopted you and watched you grow into a beautiful woman. And I will always have you. I’ve had you for all these years, which they didn’t.”
It was true. Just because I knew who my birth parents were didn’t mean I would stop seeing my mom and dad, stop visiting, stop having a lifetime of memories with them.
“Don’t let your worries about how I feel stop you from doing what you really want.”
“I don’t want you to think you’re less important.”
“I never will,” she said. “I was privileged to raise you. I was blessed to have you. None of that will change. I am happy, and what will make me even happier is if you follow your heart.”
The moment my mom said “follow your heart” I thought of Brent. Where had that come from? I shook off the thought.
“Thanks, Mom,” I said. I finally felt better about it.
She smiled at me and nodded, and we carried on gardening as if nothing had happened. We caught up, sharing our lives together as we weeded the garden and pruned some of the bushes.
When it was finally time to leave, my heart was light and I was in the best mood. I walked into the living room to say goodbye to my dad. He had fallen asleep the way he always did, his head hanging to the side and his mouth open, and he was snoring lightly.
I shook his shoulder to wake him up.
“I’m on my way,” I said when my dad jerked awake.
“Of course,” he said. “I was just resting my eyes.”
My mom and I both laughed. My dad had been doing this for as long as I could remember. I hugged him, and my heart burst with love for these two people who had given me a life.
Outside, my mom hugged me.
“Do what you need to do, honey. I just want to ask one thing.”
“What?” I asked.
“Keep me in the loop. Tell me what’s going on. Don’t bottle it up.”
I nodded. “I will,” I promised.
I climbed into my car and headed back home. When I arrived home, I sat down in front of my home computer. I took out the letter Morgan Taylor had sent my mom again. So much had happened since I’d received it. There was so much to wrap my mind around. But maybe this was the right step, after all.
Instead of emailing Morgan like before, I dialed the cell number on the business card she’d given me. This time, I wanted to speak to her in person. I needed to hear if she was relieved about finding out I wanted to meet Zoe or if she was skeptical. I didn’t know how it would make a difference; Morgan’s opinion in the matter hardly counted. But I was nervous to take the next step.
The phone rang a few times before Morgan picked up.
“Morgan, it’s Rena. I’m sorry I’m phoning on a Sunday.”
“It’s not a problem, Rena. How can I help you?”
I took a deep breath. “I would like to meet Zoe. Will you be able to set it up for me?”
“Of course. I’ll contact Zoe in the morning, and we’ll get the ball rolling on this.” She sounded like she was smiling, and I pictured her face again. She had seemed very soft-natured and kind when I had met her. She didn’t seem aggressive or invasive the way I’d always pictured private investigators. So much for stereotypes. “I’ll let you know what Zoe says, and we can set up the meeting.”
“Thank you,” I said.
“Zoe will be so excited to hear that you want to meet her. She’s been looking forward to it for a long time.”
I thanked Morgan again, and we ended the call.
My sister was excited to meet me. It was good to know that she was so positive about it, but I wasn’t sure I felt the same. I hadn’t had as much time as Zoe to process everything, and I felt that maybe she had an advantage. She’d made the choice to find out about me and to contact me; this had been thrown at me out of nowhere.
But meeting her was the right thing to do. If I had family, a sister, I wanted to meet her. I wanted to know what kind of life she’d lived. I wanted to know how she was different from me and how she was the same. It was uncharted territory for me, but I wanted to find out what was going on rather than ignore it existed at all.
A while ago, I would have been okay pretending that none of this had happened. But everyone close to me was encouraging me to do this, and I would be lying to myself if I said I wasn’t at least a little curious.
Chapter 18
Brent
I wasn’t avoiding Rena. Not on purpose. I was very busy. The investors she had charmed in Boston had asked for portfolios of the company to make an informed choice, and I was working hard to get that to them as soon as possible. This was the time where I h
ad to push to make things work out for my company. I was a billionaire, but I’d worked hard to get here, and hard work would keep me here. I worked for my money, and I made sure my money worked for me.
Without a secretary, my workload had doubled. I hadn’t realized exactly how much Rena had been doing. She’d taken on a lot more than I had outlined for her when she first started the job as my secretary.
Rena had a lot on her mind as well, I could tell. She was distant and distracted. It was strange not having her in the office the way I’d always had. It was Monday, and she was setting up her new office. It wasn’t very far from mine, but it was farther than the one she’d had for the past year. I’d chosen the office myself, wanting to give her the space she deserved to do a good job. I knew she was ready for this.
It wasn’t only that her office was farther from mine that made her feel distant. When I found her to ask her questions about how to do the things she’d done for me before, her answers were short and she seemed a little down and distracted. I wondered if she’d decided to meet with her sister after all. And was she worried about the condom breaking? It had been a few days and the worst had faded, but it was still at the back of my mind. I wondered if it was on her mind, too.
I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Not only about the sex we’d had in Boston and when we’d come back, but about her as a person. Rena was becoming a part of my life in a way that wasn’t work related, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to see her go. Although, our agreement was that it was no-strings-attached sex. It would have to end at some point.
But not yet. I wanted to have my way with her a couple more times. It turned me on to think about how good she was in bed. I wanted to have her now, in fact. Right here on my desk. I wanted to march to her new office, throw her over my shoulder, and drag her here like a caveman to fuck her as hard as I wanted to.
Of course, that wasn’t going to happen. I’d told her to keep things quiet around the office, and I would have to do the same. It would affect my business in a very negative way if I broke one of my own rules, no matter how badly I wanted it. Grabbing her in the middle of a workday and making a scene of it would let people know exactly what we were up to.
And that wouldn’t do.
After lunch, Rena knocked on my office door. I smiled when I saw her, and she stepped in.
“It’s strange to be here to ask you for something and not the other way around,” Rena said.
I nodded. “I’m missing having you next door to me.”
“I can imagine the workload is a lot more.”
I hadn’t meant it in terms of the workload, but I let her believe that. I couldn’t make it look like I was getting attached.
“What can I help you with?” I asked.
Rena sat in the seat opposite me, crossing her legs at the knee, her short navy skirt riding up. I couldn’t help myself—I stared at her bare legs. I knew what it felt like to have those legs wrapped around me. I knew what treasure lay between them.
I forced my eyes to hers, and she flashed me a knowing smile. Fuck, I wanted her so badly.
“I was hoping I could ask for a new desk,” Rena said. “The desk I have now is a little small.”
I nodded. “Of course. Anything you need.” I scribbled it down on the notepad I’d been using to remember things. Now that I didn’t have a secretary, I had to make sure I remembered everything myself.
“What else do you need for your office? Filing cabinets? More chairs? A plant?”
Rena chuckled and shook her head. “I’m all right for now. If I need something, I’ll let you know.”
“You do that.”
We sat together in silence for a while. It was a warm silence, not awkward or strained at all.
“As soon as you’re settled, I’m going to send interviewees to you. I want you to choose my new secretary for me,” I said.
Rena blinked. “You don’t want to go through them yourself?”
“Send me only those you think are suited for the job. But you know the work, how much needs to be done, and what they should be capable of. I trust your judgment.”
Rena beamed at the compliment.
“We’ll make it work,” she said. I liked that she had said “we.” I liked being included in her conversation, being referred to in conjunction with her. It made me feel like we were a team. We were a team now more than we had been for the year she’d worked for me as my secretary.
“I have to get back to my office,” Rena said. “I’m still trying to find my feet.”
I nodded, and she stood. When she walked to the door, I watched her ass swing from side to side. She was so hot. Hot and smart and interesting and funny.
When she closed the door behind her, I cursed. It wasn’t only that I was sexually charged and wanted a release. Again. It was more than that. How had I gotten this involved with her? This wasn’t my style. I cared about her far too much. I wasn’t comfortable with how emotionally invested I was becoming.
She was so young, after all. She could be my daughter. I had to keep control of the situation. She was nothing more than a hot body that I was using to fuck now and then. She was a conquest in a long line of conquests. I was fucking her the way I had fucked all the other women, and when I was done with her, I would move on to the next.
Maybe it was because I’d brought her to Boston with me. Being in a hotel with her had given me an idea of what it would be like to be with her, and it had gotten into my head. But it was bullshit. I was Brent Hooper. I didn’t date. I didn’t keep women around for very long if I kept them around at all, and I sure as shit didn’t get attached.
This was exactly the same as every other time. Rena was adorable and sexy at the same time. She was a minx in the bedroom but shy and reserved in public, which made her feel like a mystery that I got to solve every time I had her alone. But there was no more than that. There couldn’t be.
Rena was exactly the same as every other woman I’d had in my life.
Even as I thought it, I knew I was only lying to myself. Rena was different in every way possible. She was interesting, and I liked spending time with her even if we weren’t fucking. How many women had I been able to say that about before? So many of them had been airheads, and I hadn’t been able to relate to them at all. With Rena, it felt like we could be friends, not just fuck buddies. I felt like if I told her about my life, shared things I was struggling with, she would listen. She would care. She would try to give me advice.
She’d already opened up to me about her sister trying to find her, allowing me on a journey into her private life when it had nothing to do with me.
And she didn’t want my money. That was possibly the one thing that really made an impression on me. Because I had so much money and so many people knew about it, when they looked at me, all they saw were dollar signs. I never knew if people were with me because of me or because of my money.
It was usually the latter. It was why I played my cards so close to my chest. If I didn’t get attached to them, it wouldn’t hurt so fucking much when it turned out I was only good for signing checks.
But not with Rena. She made me feel like she enjoyed my company. She liked me as a person. It irritated me that she wouldn’t let me pay for anything, but at the same time, I respected her for it.
It wasn’t often that someone managed to make me feel special. But there it was.
I tried to focus on my work, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Rena. At first, it was about how amazing she was, but my mind jumped to sex. Rena was incredibly good in bed. She was better than anyone I’d been with before.
Was it because I was becoming emotionally involved with her? I wasn’t sure. The more I thought about it, the more it turned me on, but I was irritated, too. I didn’t know what was going on with my emotions. I was all over the place, and I hated it. I was usually fully in control of what I felt.
I left the office early in a shitty mood. Usually, when I felt like this, training was the way to blow off some stea
m. I headed home first to change my clothes before I headed to the gym. The gym wasn’t very full. I started with a warm-up on the treadmill, covering a couple of miles in a light jog before I pushed up the speed. My legs ate the miles as my feet pounded into the belt. I ran until my muscles screamed at me and my chest felt like it was on fire.
When I finally stopped, I was breathing hard. I sat down and gulped down a bottle of water. I had only meant to warm up, but the flat-out run had been good for me.
After catching my breath, I headed to the gorilla pit to pump weights. I did sets for each muscle group until failure. I didn’t usually push this hard, but I didn’t know what I was feeling. I couldn’t put my finger on it, and that pissed me off. I hoped that draining myself emotionally would calm my mind.
Finally, my muscles were dead. I couldn’t train any longer. I had pushed myself to the limit in every way.
I walked to the showers on legs made of Jell-O and washed. For all the hard work I’d done, I still couldn’t get Rena off my mind, and the feelings inside me, whatever they were about, wouldn’t go away. Dammit.
When I climbed into my car to head home, I was in a worse mood than I had been when I went to the gym. What the fuck was up with me? I wished I had an answer, whatever it was. At least if I knew what I was feeling, I could deal with it instead of hanging in limbo like this, unsure of what was going on in my head and my heart.
Chapter 19
Rena
On Wednesday, I met Holly for lunch. So much had happened since I’d last seen her, and Holly had been on vacation with her parents after winning three tickets in a competition, so there was a lot to talk about.
“How was it?” I asked when Holly and I sat down.
“It was great, but I’m glad I’m back,” Holly said. “It’s hard spending time with my parents when we’re together like that. They can’t help but see me as a child that has to fall under their rules again.”