She had nothing other than a few toiletries and her spare sets of clothes to give away to the other women, for she hadn’t ever bothered to collect stuff up like most of them did. All she was taking with her was the notebook she’d been writing her life story in, and she hoped that sometime in the future she’d have a happy postscript to add to it.
But when everyone was finally locked in their cells for the night, and she heard the women calling to one another as usual all the way down the block, she suddenly felt afraid again.
However bad it had been in here sometimes, there was a kind of safety and predictability about it. Tomorrow, when she was out in the mainstream of life again, would she be able to cope? She couldn’t even imagine crossing a road, let alone driving again, or going into a pub and buying a drink. She was going to miss the other women, even though she’d made no strong friendships in prison.
Would she have anything in common with other women on the outside? What on earth would she talk about? She buried her head in books most of the time here, and when she did have a chat with someone it was mostly about their family problems. She knew more than she wanted to know about abusive relationships, out-of-control teenagers, truants, pimps, fences, alcoholism and drug-taking. It had become her world. She’d lost all sense of the Laura Brannigan who had once owned her own dress shop.
‘And it is Mrs Brannigan’s intention to live with her sister in Catford, London?’ The judge peered over his glasses at Goldsmith below his bench.
‘Yes, Your Honour,’ Goldsmith replied. ‘Miss Wilmslow is present in court if you would like to speak to her.’
Meggie caught Laura’s eye and grinned encouragingly at her.
The sisters hadn’t had any opportunity to speak to each other yet. Laura had been brought to the High Court by prison van, and was already waiting in the dock when Meggie came into the courtroom with Goldsmith. It had been over five years since they last met. They might have talked on the phone every week before Laura went to prison, and written to each other more recently, but that hadn’t prepared Laura for seeing her younger sister again in the flesh.
Meggie was forty-four now, and her once long dark hair was cut into a rather severe bob. She was a little plumper too, and her navy-blue trouser suit and sensible flat shoes made her look matronly. Laura wondered if the outfit, and the lack of makeup, was intended to make her look like a very responsible person, but as Meggie had always tended to be old for her years, she suspected that this image was now her usual one.
The judge said he would like to speak to Meggie and the court usher directed her to come forward to the bench.
‘Do you understand what bail conditions mean?’ he asked her. ‘That Mrs Brannigan must reside with you, and present herself once a week at your local police station? Bail will be set at the sum of five thousand pounds. If Mrs Brannigan does not adhere to these conditions or fails to appear at her next court hearing, you will be expected to forfeit that sum.’
‘I understand, Your Honour,’ Meggie replied.
‘Then you may take your sister home with you now,’ he said.
‘Is that it then?’ Laura said nervously once they’d come out of the courtroom into the vestibule. She’d been hovering on the verge of a panic attack throughout the proceedings; there were so many whispered consultations between the lawyers and she felt sure the judge was going to refuse her bail.
Goldsmith smiled at both the sisters. ‘Yes. That’s it, you can go. But as soon as you get to Catford make sure you present yourself at the police station and find out which day of the week they expect to see you. Don’t attempt to go out of the country either. I shall keep in touch and let you know any developments. Meanwhile, enjoy your freedom, you deserve it.’
‘Thank you,’ Laura said. It seemed so odd that Patrick was suddenly so much warmer to her. She actually believed he cared now. She looked nervously through the door on to the street. ‘Will there be press out there?’
‘I’m afraid so,’ he said, grimacing. ‘It isn’t any good trying to avoid them, they’ll only follow you. If you like I could make a statement for you. You just smile for the photographs.’
There were five or six photographers and as many journalists, one of whom Laura recognized as having visited her in prison just after the trial. There was also a cameraman, presumably from the local television station. As she and Meggie got to the High Court door with Goldsmith, they pressed forward, cameras flashing and shouting out questions.
Meggie caught hold of Laura’s arm tightly as she faltered. But Goldsmith took a step forward. ‘Mrs Brannigan would like me to make a statement to you for her, then I ask that you respect the ordeal she has been through and allow her some privacy and peace.
‘Mrs Brannigan has been granted bail pending her appeal. I have every confidence that her appeal will be successful now that the police are reinvestigating the murder of Jacqueline Davies. Mrs Brannigan has always maintained that she was innocent of the crime. It is our belief that this will soon be proved.’
‘Are you staying in Edinburgh, Laura?’ a female voice called out.
A man with red hair pushed his way to the front of the journalists. ‘Will you be visiting Stuart Macgregor? Is it true he was stabbed because he was doing some private investigation on your behalf?’ he asked.
‘That’s enough now,’ Goldsmith said firmly, and taking Laura’s arm, he drew her and Meggie through the crowd and away down the High Street.
‘You’ll be fine now,’ he said as they reached North Bridge. He looked behind him just to check none of the press had followed them. ‘But I’ll come further with you if you like.’
‘No, you go,’ Laura said. ‘We don’t need an escort, and I’m sure you’ve got plenty of other clients that need you.’
‘What’s it to be first?’ Meggie asked as they walked down towards the bridge. ‘A big fried breakfast, a burger, or maybe some alcohol?’
Laura laughed. ‘None of those. What I’d really like is a cappuccino, just to sit and drink it and watch people for a while, and of course to catch up with what you’ve been doing.’
‘Laura, wait up!’
At the shout from behind they turned their heads to see a tall, slender woman with long blonde hair trying to run towards them, hampered not only by high heels but by a wheeled suitcase she was pulling behind her. As she got nearer Laura recognized her as Angie.
‘Thank goodness I caught you,’ she said breathlessly as she reached them. ‘I got to the court too late, I could just see you in the distance, so I ran all the way.’
She paused to catch her breath. ‘Obviously the hearing was successful or you wouldn’t be out here,’ she said. ‘I read in the paper about Stuart being stabbed by Belle. I wanted to get in touch then, but I didn’t think you’d want to know me any more. Then Stuart rang me last night and told me about the hearing today. I wanted to be there to give you some support, but I got held up in traffic.’
Laura felt a sort of inner glow to be once again listening to Angie’s breathless explanation. She had always been that way, always late, always rushing, yet she never failed to look as if she’d just stepped off the pages of Vogue. The pale blue Chanel-style suit she was wearing had been Angie’s mother’s; Laura remembered helping her to alter it. That was at least five years ago, but it looked as chic now as it had then.
‘It’s good to see you again, Angie,’ Laura said, and moved nearer to give the younger woman a hug. ‘I understood how it was for you, too much poison was dripped out for anyone to believe in me. This is my sister Meggie. We were just going to get some coffee. Why don’t you come with us?’
She glanced down at Angie’s suitcase. ‘Or are you going off somewhere?’
‘Oh no.’ Angie smiled. ‘These are things for you. Stuart knew I’d stored your things and he asked if I could dig some of them out as you wouldn’t have any clothes.’
‘My clothes!’ Laura exclaimed in delight. ‘Wonderful! I thought I’d have to borrow some of Meggie’s.’
‘I’m afraid they aren’t actually yours.’ Angie looked a bit crestfallen. ‘You see, your stuff is at my mother’s, and I couldn’t go there last night. So I raided the shop, and got you some new undies and things this morning. I hope you don’t mind?’
Laura smiled. She didn’t really care what she put on. To be out of prison was more than enough for now, and she was so touched Angie had gone to all that trouble. ‘You always had good taste, so I’m sure they are lovely.’
‘I’m so relieved to see you are still the same size.’ Angie looked at her appraisingly. ‘Stuart said you were, but men don’t always see things as we do.’
Laura picked out a coffee bar in Princes Street which was over a shoe shop. The windows were huge, giving a great view of the Castle and Old Town, plus people out shopping. She eagerly bagged a table by the window and Meggie and Angie went to get the coffee.
‘Isn’t it a beautiful city?’ she said as they came back. She waved her hand at the view. ‘You’d think I would be disenchanted with it after all the nasty things that have happened here. But I still love it.’
‘I was kind of hoping you’d get to love London again so Ivy and I could spend more time with you,’ Meggie said. ‘But it sounds like your heart is here. Maybe after the appeal Ivy, Derek and the kids and me could come up for a holiday and find out what’s so good about it.’
‘You’ll have your own place to stay in,’ Laura said, but when she saw Meggie’s puzzled expression, she realized Goldsmith hadn’t yet told her about Jackie’s will. She couldn’t tell her now, not in front of Angie, so instead she pulled the suitcase close to her and opened it just enough to peep.
On the top was a dark red velvet jacket, and she knew without pulling it out properly that it would be fabulous.
‘Oh, Angie,’ she sighed. ‘You can’t imagine how good it will be to put on nice clothes again, thank you so much. But what do I owe you?’
‘Nothing, of course.’ Angie looked embarrassed. ‘It’s the very least I can do. You let me take over the shop, and we never sorted out a price. When you are finally acquitted we must have a talk about it and come to an agreement. I’ve been putting money away for you in a savings account, but it may not be enough.’
‘Angie, you were there for me the whole time I was on remand,’ Laura said reprovingly. ‘I know it must have been tough for you to keep the shop going with all the bad press. I’m not going to come back and try to snatch it from you. I told you it was yours two years ago, and I meant it.’
‘But you’ll need money,’ Angie insisted.
‘I still have my savings.’ Laura shrugged. ‘And I didn’t even spend all the wages I got inside. The other women spent theirs on ciggies and sweets, I hoarded mine. I’m probably the only woman ever to come out of prison richer than when I went in.’
Laura slipped off to the toilet, and when she came back Angie and Meggie were laughing about something. ‘What have I missed?’ she asked.
‘We were just discussing how gorgeous Stuart is,’ Meggie giggled. ‘We think you ought to get round there right now and make him forget his aches and pains.’
‘I wish I could,’ Laura smiled. ‘But that isn’t on his agenda. He’s rescued the damsel in distress, and as soon as he’s well he’ll be off on to some other mission.’
‘Don’t be daft,’ Meggie said stoutly. ‘He’s still got the hots for you.’
‘Of course he has,’ Angie agreed. ‘I could tell just by the way he spoke about you last night. I didn’t know that he was an old flame until Meggie told me, but I can tell you, the flame hasn’t gone out.’
Laura shook her head. ‘I’m not what he needs. I’m all used up now and too old. What I want is a quiet life on my own, books, a dog perhaps, maybe I’ll take up gardening too. I haven’t got any passion left in me, it’s all gone.’
Angie got into a taxi when they left the coffee bar. She had to go back to the shop in Morningside. Meggie and Laura walked back up to the Old Town to meet Stuart.
‘I’m so excited about seeing him again,’ Meggie admitted. ‘He was so nice that day he came to see me. He’s one of those rare people who is capable of putting himself in others’ shoes without judging them. I ended up telling him stuff I’ve never told anyone else.’
‘That was my biggest mistake with him,’ Laura sighed. ‘Not telling him everything about myself when I first met him. I spent a lot of time inside thinking over why I lied and kept on lying. I thought I had good reason at the time, but now, after all that’s happened, it just seems such a waste. If I hadn’t been so stubborn and afraid I could have had you and Ivy close to me.’
‘Lots of sisters aren’t close even when everything is completely normal in their families,’ Meggie said evenly, catching hold of her sister’s hand and squeezing it. ‘At least we have always really loved each other, and besides, none of that matters now, we’ve got the rest of our lives to catch up.’
‘You took your time!’ Stuart said accusingly as he opened the door of his flat to them. ‘I’ve been watching the clock, afraid that something had gone wrong and they didn’t give you bail. I was just about to ring Patrick.’
‘We went to have a cup of coffee with Angie,’ Laura said apologetically. ‘It never occurred to me you’d be waiting and worrying.’
Stuart smiled. ‘You’re here now, that’s all that matters. I just wish I’d felt strong enough to get up to the court.’
‘Is it still painful?’ Laura reached out and gently touched his chest. She could feel the bandages beneath his shirt.
‘It’s okay unless I move too quickly. I have to put my arm back in a sling sometimes to rest it. But it’s the feeling weak which bugs me. I’m not used to that. Enough of that now! Hello, Meggie, in all the excitement I’m guilty of overlooking you.’
‘It’s good to see you again, Stuart,’ Meggie said shyly. ‘But you’re alone! Where are your friends?’
‘Gone down to have a look at Holyrood palace,’ Stuart replied. ‘We didn’t think it was a good thing for the kids to be here when you called, too much like Bedlam. But David and Julia are sorry not to be able to see you both. Now, how about a drink?’
Despite a very welcome gin and tonic, which ought to have relaxed her, Laura felt awkward with Stuart. She didn’t know if it was because Meggie was there, because he was hurt, or just that she was overwhelmed by her new freedom, but she didn’t know what to say to him.
There was just too much to say, she supposed. Her gratitude, remorse at hurting him in the past, how it felt to be free again, even how good the coffee in Princes Street tasted and how thrilling it was to see Edinburgh again. She wanted to ask him so many questions about what happened to him in Crail. And about his plans for the future. But although she was saying all this in her head, hardly one word was coming out of her mouth.
Meggie had no such problem. She was rattling away about another property she and Ivy had bought that they were converting into three flats.
‘You are very quiet, Laura,’ Stuart said after a little while. ‘I hope that’s not because we’re boring you?’
‘No, of course not,’ she said quickly. ‘I guess I’m just a bit stunned at being here with you both. It’s a bit odd thinking I’m going to be staying in London too.’
‘Would you rather have stayed here in Edinburgh?’ Stuart asked.
Laura didn’t know how to reply to that. Edinburgh was home, at least in her heart, and Stuart was here too. But she couldn’t say that, it would make him feel awkward and hurt Meggie’s feelings too.
‘No, I wouldn’t want to stay here. I want to be with Meggie, but I’m just a bit nervous about London, it’s a long time since I was last there.’
‘You’ll soon adjust,’ Meggie said, looking at Laura anxiously. ‘Are you hungry? Maybe we should go and get something before we go out to the airport?’
Stuart got up. ‘I’d clean forgotten,’ he said. ‘Julia made a lasagne for us. I’ll go and put it in the oven to warm through.’
Meggie went off to the kitchen and Stuart sat down again on the settee.
‘How long will it be before you can work again?’ Laura asked.
‘I should be fit for project managing in about two weeks,’ he said. ‘As long as that doesn’t entail doing any manual work myself. I thought I might sign up for a computer course or something in the meantime. Once David goes back to London it’s going to be very boring here on my own.’
‘What if you came to London too?’ Laura said. ‘Maybe Meggie could do with a project manager?’
‘Does that mean you’d like me to come to London? Or are you just concerned that I’ll shrivel up and die of boredom up here alone?’
‘Of course I’d like you to come to London,’ she said, and giggled because he was looking at her so intently. ‘But I suppose I’d like to see you putting your own life back together. One way or another I’ve kind of buggered it up again, haven’t I?’
‘No, you haven’t. It might be true that I came back here because of you, but I don’t feel you’ve buggered me up in any way. It was all my own idea to go over and see Belle, and even if I am a bit stuck now because of the wound, I do at least have the satisfaction of knowing it changed things enough to get you out of prison.’
‘You’ve been wonderful, Stuart,’ she said softly. ‘I was trapped in a very black hole until you turned up and dropped a rope ladder down to me. I can never thank you enough for what you’ve done. You’re such a big man, with an even bigger heart. I didn’t deserve help, not from you.’
‘You have a worrying tendency to always think you aren’t worth anything,’ he said, looking straight into her eyes. ‘It isn’t true of course, it never was. When I first went to work for Jackie in London I was very bitter and sad. Jackie pulled me up about it once. She said, “Never mind that she did the dirty on you. Think about what she gave you.” I couldn’t see what she meant at the time, but I do now.’
‘What?’ Laura asked. She didn’t remember giving him anything other than grief.
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