by Lord Byron
When I leave Harrow I know not; that depends on her nod; I like it very well. The master Dr. Drury, is the most amiable clergyman I ever knew; he unites the Gentleman with the Scholar, without affectation or pedantry, what little I have learnt I owe to him alone, nor is it his fault that it was not more. I shall always remember his instructions with Gratitude, and cherish a hope that it may one day be in my power to repay the numerous obligations, I am under; to him or some of his family.
Our holidays come on in about a fortnight. I however have not mentioned that to my mother, nor do I intend it; but if I can, I shall contrive to evade going to Southwell. Depend upon it I will not approach her for some time to come if It is in my power to avoid it, but she must not know, that it is my wish to be absent. I hope you will excuse my sending so short a letter, but the Bell has just rung to summon us together. Write Soon, and believe me, Ever your affectionate Brother, BYRON.
I am afraid you will have some difficulty in decyphering my epistles, but that I know you will excuse. Adieu. Remember me to Lord Carlisle.
17. — To the Hon. Augusta Byron.
[Castle Howard, Malton, Yorkshire.] Harrow-on-the-Hill, Novr. 21st, 1804.
MY DEAREST AUGUSTA, — This morning I received your by no means unwelcome epistle, and thinking it demands an immediate answer, once more take up my pen to employ it in your service. There is no necessity for my mother to know anything of my intentions, till the time approaches; and when it does come, Mr. H. has only to write her a note saying, that, as I could not accept the invitation he gave me last holidays, he imagined I might do it now; to this she surely can make no objections; but, if she entertained the slightest idea of my making any complaint of her very lenient treatment, the scene that would ensue beggars all power of description. You may have some little idea of it, from what I have told you, and what you yourself know.
I wrote to you the other day; but you make no mention of receiving my letter in yours of the 18th inst. It is however of little importance, containing merely a recapitulation of circumstances which I have before detailed at full length.
To Lord Carlisle make my warmest acknowledgements. I feel more gratitude, than my feelings can well express; I am truly obliged to him for his endeavours, and am perfectly satisfied with your explanation of his reserve, though I was hitherto afraid it might proceed from personal dislike. I have some idea that I leave Harrow these holidays. The Dr., whose character I gave you in my last, leaves the mastership at Easter. Who his successor may be I know not, but he will not be a better I am confident. You inform me that you intend to visit my mother, then you will have an opportunity of seeing what I have described, and hearing a great deal of Scandal. She does not trouble me much with epistolary communications; when I do receive them, they are very concise, and much to the purpose. However I will do her the justice to say that she behaves, or rather means, well, and is in some respects very kind, though her manners are not the most conciliating. She likewise expresses a great deal of affection for you, but disapproves your marriage, wishes to know my opinion of it, and complains that you are negligent and do not write to her or care about her. How far her opinion of your love for her is well grounded, you best know. I again request you will return my sincere thanks to Lord Carlisle, and for the future I shall consider him as more my friend than I have hitherto been taught to think. I have more reasons than one, to wish to avoid going to Notts, for there I should be obliged to associate with Lord G. whom I detest, his manners being unlike those of a Gentleman, and the information to be derived from him but little except about shooting, which I do not intend to devote my life to. Besides, I have a particular reason for not liking him. Pray write to me soon. Adieu, my Dear Augusta.
I remain, your affectionate Brother, BYRON.
18.-To John Hanson .
Saturday, Dec. 1st, 1804.
MY DEAR SIR, — Our vacation commences on the 5th of this Month, when I propose to myself the pleasure of spending the Holidays at your House, if it is not too great an Inconvenience. I tell you fairly, that at Southwell I should have nothing in the World to do, but play at cards and listen to the edifying Conversation of old Maids, two things which do not at all suit my inclinations. In my Mother’s last Letter I find that my poney and pointers are not yet procured, and that Lord Grey is still at Newstead. The former I should be very dull at such a place as Southwell without; the latter is still more disagreeable to be with. I presume he goes on in the old way, — quarrelling with the farmers, and stretching his judicial powers (he being now in the commission) to the utmost, becoming a torment to himself, and a pest to all around him. — I am glad you approve of my Gun, feeling myself happy, that it has been tried by so distinguished a Sportsman.
I hope your Campaigns against the Partridges and the rest of the feathered Tribe have been attended with no serious Consequences — trifling accidents such as the top of a few fingers and a Thumb, you Gentlemen of the city being used to, of course occasion no interruption to your field sports.
Your Accommodation I have no doubt I shall be perfectly satisfied with, only do exterminate that vile Generation of Bugs which nearly ate me up the last Time I sojourned at your House. After undergoing the Purgatory of Harrow board and Lodging for three Months I shall not be particular or exorbitant in my demands.
Pray give my best Compliments to Mrs. Hanson and the now quilldriving Hargreaves . Till I see you, I remain, Yours, etc., BYRON.
[Footnote 1: Byron spent the Christmas holidays of 1804-5 with the Hansons. He gave Hanson to understand that it was his wish to leave the school, and that Dr. Drury agreed with him in the decision. Hanson, after consulting Lord Carlisle, wrote to Drury, urging that Byron was too young to leave the school. Drury’s reply, dated December 29, 1804, gave a different colour to the matter.
“Your letter,” he writes, “supposes that Lord Byron was desirous to leave school, and that I acquiesced in his Wish: but I must do him the Justice to observe that the wish originated with me. During his last residence at Harrow his conduct gave me much trouble and uneasiness; and as two of his Associates were to leave me at Christmas, I certainly suggested to him my wish that he might be placed under the care of some private Tutor previously to his admission to either of the Universities. This I did no less with a view to the forming of his mind and manners, than to my own comfort; and I am fully convinced that if such a situation can be procured for his Lordship, it will be much more advantageous for him than a longer residence at school, where his animal spirits and want of judgment may induce him to do wrong, whilst his age and person must prevent his Instructors from treating him in some respects as a schoolboy. If we part now, we may entertain affectionate dispositions towards each other, and his Lordship will have left the school with credit; as my dissatisfactions were expressed to him only privately, and in such a manner as not to affect his public situation in the school.”
Finally, however, Dr. Drury, yielding to the appeal of Lord Carlisle and Hanson, allowed the boy to return to Harrow, and Byron remained at the school till July, 1805, the last three months being passed under the rule of Dr. Butler.]
[Footnote 2: Hargreaves Hanson, second son of John Hanson, had just left Harrow, and was articled as a pupil in his father’s business. He died in 1811, at the age of 23.]
19. — To the Hon. Augusta Byron.
6, Chancery Lane, Wednesday, 30th Jany., 1805.
I have delayed writing to you so long, My dearest Augusta, from ignorance of your residence, not knowing whether you graced Castle Howard, or Kireton with your presence. The instant Mr. H[anson] informed me where you was, I prepared to address you, and you have but just forestalled my intention. And now, I scarcely know what to begin with; I have so many things, to tell you. I wish to God, that we were together, for It is impossible that I can confine all I have got to say in an epistle, without I was to follow your example, and fill eleven pages, as I was informed, by my proficiency in the art of magic, that you sometimes send that number t
o Lady Gertrude.
To begin with an article of grand importance; I on Saturday dined with Lord Carlisle, and on further acquaintance I like them all very much. Amongst other circumstances, I heard of your boldness as a Rider, especially one anecdote about your horse carrying you into the stable perforce. I should have admired amazingly to have seen your progress, provided you met with no accident. I hope you recollect the circumstance, and know what I allude to; else, you may think that I am soaring into the Regions of Romance. I wish you to corroborate my account in your next, and inform me whether my information was correct.
I think your friend Lady G. is a sweet girl. If your taste in love, is as good as it is in friendship, I shall think you a very discerning little Gentlewoman. His Lordship too improves upon further acquaintance, Her Ladyship I always liked, but of the Junior part of the family Frederick is my favourite. I believe with regard to my future destination, that I return to Harrow until June, and then I’m off for the university. Could I have found Room there, I was to have gone immediately.
I have contrived to pass the holidays with Mr. and Mrs. Hanson, to whom I am greatly obliged for their hospitality. You are now within a days journey of my amiable Mama. If you wish your spirits raised, or rather roused, I would recommend you to pass a week or two with her. However I daresay she would behave very well to you, for you do not know her disposition so well as I do. I return you, my dear Girl, a thousand thanks for hinting to Mr. H. and Lord C. my uncomfortable situation, I shall always remember it with gratitude, as a most essential service. I rather think that, if you were any time with my mother, she would bore you about your marriage which she disapproves of, as much for the sake of finding fault as any thing, for that is her favourite amusement. At any rate she would be very inquisitive, for she was always tormenting me about it, and, if you told her any thing, she might very possibly divulge it; I therefore advise you, when you see her to say nothing, or as little, about it, as you can help. If you make haste, you can answer this well written epistle by return of post, for I wish again to hear from you immediately; you need not fill eleven pages, nine will be sufficient; but whether it contains nine pages or nine lines, it will always be most welcome, my beloved Sister, to Your affectionate Brother and Friend, BYRON.
[Footnote 1: The Hon. Frederick Howard, third son of Lord Carlisle, the “young, gallant Howard” of Childe Harold (Canto III. stanzas xxix, xxx; see Byron’s note), was killed at Waterloo. “The best of his race,” says Byron, in a letter to Moore, July 7, 1815.]
20. — To the Hon. Augusta Byron.
[London], Thursday, 4th April, 1805.
MY DEAREST AUGUSTA, — You certainly have excellent reasons for complaint against my want of punctuality in our correspondence; but, as it does not proceed from want of affection, but an idle disposition, you will, I hope, accept my excuses. I am afraid, however, that when I shall take up my pen, you will not be greatly edified or amused, especially at present, since, I sit down in very bad spirits, out of humour with myself, and all the world, except you. I left Harrow yesterday, and am now at Mr. Hanson’s till Sunday morning, when I depart for Nottinghamshire, to pay a visit to my mother, with whom I shall remain for a week or two, when I return to town, and from thence to Harrow, until July, when I take my departure for the university, but which I am as yet undecided. Mr. H. Recommends Cambridge; Ld. Carlisle allows me to chuse for myself, and I must own I prefer Oxford. But, I am not violently bent upon it, and whichever is determined upon will meet with my concurrence. — This is the outline of my plans for the next 6 months.
I am Glad that you are Going to pay his Lordship a visit, as I shall have an opportunity of seeing you on my return to town, a pleasure, which, as I have been long debarred of it, will be doubly felt after so long a separation. My visit to the Dowager does not promise me all the happiness I could wish; however, it must be gone through, as it is some time since I have seen her. It shall be as short as possible. I shall expect to find a letter from you, when I come down, as I wish to know when you go to town, and how long you remain there. If you stay till The middle of next month, you may have an opportunity of hearing me speak, as the first day of our Harrow orations occurs in May. My friend Delawarr , (as you observed) danced with the little Princess, nor did I in the least envy him the honour. I presume you have heard That Dr. Drury leaves Harrow this Easter, and That, as a memorial of our Gratitude for his long services, The scholars presented him with plate to the amount of 330 Guineas.
I hope you will excuse this Hypocondriac epistle, as I never was in such low spirits in my life. Adieu, my Dearest Sister, and believe me,
Your ever affectionate though negligent Brother, BYRON.
[Footnote 1: On February 25, 1805, their Majesties gave a magnificent “house-warming” at Windsor Castle.
“The expenditure,” says the ‘Gentleman’s Magazine’ for 1805 (part i. pp. 262-264), “cannot have cost less than £50,000. The floor of the ball-room, instead of being chalked, was painted with most fanciful and appropriate devices by an eminent artist.” The “little Princess” Charlotte of Wales, we are told, left the Castle at half-past nine.]
21. — To Hargreaves Hanson.
Burgage Manor, Southwell, Notts, 15 April, 1805.
DEAR HARGREAVES, — As I have been unable to return to Town with your father, I must request, that you will take care of my Books, and a parcel which I expect from my Taylor’s, and, as I understand you are going to pay Farleigh a visit, I would be obliged to you to leave them under the care of one of the Clerks, or a Servant, who may inform me where to find them. I shall be in Town on Wednesday the 24th at furthest, when I shall not hope to see you, or wish it; not but what I should be glad of your entertaining and loquacious Society, but as I think you will be more amused at Farleigh, it would be selfish in me to wish that you should forego the pleasures of contemplating pigs, poultry, pork, pease, and potatoes together, with other Rural Delights, for my Company. Much pleasure may you find in your excursion and I dare say, when you have exchanged pleadings for ploughshares and fleecing clients for feeding flocks, you will be in no hurry to resume your Law Functions.
Remember me to your Father and Mother and the Juniors, and if you should find it convenient to dispatch a note in answer to this epistle, it will afford great pleasure to
Yours very sincerely and affectionately,
BYRON.
P.S. — It is hardly necessary to inform you that I am heartily tired of Southwell, for I am at this minute experiencing those delights which I have recapitulated to you and which are more entertaining to be talked of at a distance than enjoyed at Home. I allude to the Eloquence of a near relation of mine, which is as remarkable as your taciturnity.
22. — To Hargreaves Hanson.
Burgage Manor, April 20, 1805.
Dear Hargreaves, — Dr. Butler, our new Master, has thought proper to postpone our Meeting till the 8th of May, which obliges me to delay my return to Town for one week, so that instead of Wednesday the 24th I shall not arrive in London till the 1st of May, on which Day (If I live) I shall certainly be in town, where I hope to have the pleasure of seeing you. I shall remain with you only a week, as we are all to return to the very day, on account of the prolongation of our Holidays. However, if you shall previous to that period take a jaunt into Hants, I beg you will leave my valuables, etc., etc., in the care of one of the Gentlemen of your office, as that Razor faced Villain, James, might perhaps take the Liberty of walking off with a suit. I have heard several times from Tattersall and it is very probable we may see him on my return. I beg you will excuse this short epistle as my time is at present rather taken up, and Believe Me,
Yours very sincerely,
BYRON.
[Footnote 1: The Rev. George Butler (1774-1853), who was Senior Wrangler (1794), succeeded Dr. Drury as Head-master of Harrow School in April, 1805. He was then Fellow, tutor, and classical lecturer at Sydney Sussex College, Cambridge. From affection to Dr. Drury, Byron supporte
d the candidature of his brother, Mark Drury, and avenged himself on Butler for the defeat of his candidate by the lines on “Pomposus” (see ‘Poems’, vol. i. pp. 16, 17, “On a Change of Masters,” etc.; and pp. 84-106, “Childish Recollections”). At a later period he became reconciled to Butler, who knew the Continent well, was an excellent linguist, and gave him valuable advice for his foreign tour in 1809-11. Butler resigned the Head-mastership of Harrow in April, 1824, and retired to a country living. In 1842 he was appointed to the Deanery of Peterborough, where he died in 1853.]
[Footnote 2: John Cecil Tattersall entered Harrow in May, 1801. He was the “Davus” of “Childish Recollections” (‘Poems’, vol. i. pp. 97, 98, and notes). He went from Harrow to Christ Church, Oxford, took orders, and died December 8, 1812.]
23. — To the Hon. Augusta Byron.
[The Earl of Carlisle’s, Grosvenor Place, London.] Burgage Manor,
April 23d, 1805.
MY DEAREST AUGUSTA, — I presume by this time, that you are safely arrived at the Earl’s, at least I hope so; nor shall I feel myself perfectly easy, till I have the pleasure of hearing from yourself of your safety. I myself shall set out for town this day (Tuesday) week, and intend waiting upon you on Thursday at farthest; in the mean time I must console myself as well as I can; and I am sure, no unhappy mortal ever required much more consolation than I do at present. You as well as myself know the sweet and amiable temper of a certain personage to whom I am nearly related; of course, the pleasure I have enjoyed during my vacation, (although it has been greater than I expected) yet has not been so superabundant as to make me wish to stay a day longer than I can avoid. However, notwithstanding the dullness of the place, and certain unpleasant things that occur In a family not a hundred miles distant from Southwell, I contrived to pass my time in peace, till to day, when unhappily, In a most inadvertent manner, I said that Southwell was not peculiarly to my taste; but however, I merely expressed this in common conversation, without speaking disrespectfully of the sweet town; (which, between you and I, I wish was swallowed up by an earthquake, provided my Eloquent mother was not in it). No sooner had the unlucky sentence, which I believe was prompted by my evil Genius, escaped my lips, than I was treated with an Oration in the ancient style, which I have often so pathetically described to you, unequalled by any thing of modern or antique date; nay the Philippics against Lord Melville were nothing to it; one would really Imagine, to have heard the Good Lady, that I was a most treasonable culprit, but thank St. Peter, after undergoing this Purgatory for the last hour, it is at length blown over, and I have sat down under these pleasing impressions to address you, so that I am afraid my epistle will not be the most entertaining. I assure you upon my honour, jesting apart, I have never been so scurrilously, and violently abused by any person, as by that woman, whom I think I am to call mother, by that being who gave me birth, to whom I ought to look up with veneration and respect, but whom I am sorry I cannot love or admire. Within one little hour, I have not only heard myself, but have heard my whole family, by the father’s side, stigmatized in terms that the blackest malevolence would perhaps shrink from, and that too in words you would be shocked to hear. Such, Augusta, such is my mother; my mother! I disclaim her from this time, and although I cannot help treating her with respect, I cannot reverence, as I ought to do, that parent who by her outrageous conduct forfeits all title to filial affection. To you, Augusta, I must look up, as my nearest relation, to you I must confide what I cannot mention to others, and I am sure you will pity me; but I entreat you to keep this a secret, nor expose that unhappy failing of this woman, which I must bear with patience. I would be very sorry to have it discovered, as I have only one week more, for the present. In the mean time you may write to me with the greatest safety, as she would not open any of my letters, even from you. I entreat then that you will favour me with an answer to this. I hope however to have the pleasure of seeing you on the day appointed, but If you could contrive any way that I may avoid being asked to dinner by L’d C. I would be obliged to you, as I hate strangers. Adieu, my Beloved Sister,