Tagged For A New Start

by Sam Destiny

  Evy stood behind her desk, staring at the list of names, not really seeing it. She had no idea how late it was, but she was ready to drop. She also needed to call Hilary and see how Leila had been doing.

  It was the first day she’d been without her daughter for more than twelve hours, and she missed the girl dearly, lifting her mood a little. Maybe she wasn’t such a bad mother after all.

  “It’s half past ten,” a voice from the door announced and Evy looked up, surprised to find Tank still there.

  “You’re not home yet?” she asked and he came strolling in, leaning against her desk, making her recall his earlier promise about him taking her on her desk.

  God, she wanted it, but…

  “You’re dead on your feet, Ev, I’m giving you a rain check on the office desk sex,” he teased and she blushed.

  “I didn’t say anything,” she replied, pushing some papers from one side of the table to the other.

  “Your lips parted and your eyes darkened. I know exactly what you’re thinking about, but you are trembling. And I assume it’s from exhaustion. Come on, I’ll take you home because your car is still at the base, remember?”

  No, she didn’t remember, and wasn’t really surprised. Her head was one big mess of numbers and names, possibilities and impossibilities.

  He took her hand and she went willingly because she couldn’t imagine anything better than sitting down in his truck. She leaned into him when he locked her door, wrapping one arm around her, then she replicated the gesture, letting him pull her to the elevator. The wait for the doors seemed endless, even though the insurance company beneath her floor probably stopped working hours ago.

  “Thank you,” she muttered, her head still resting on his shoulder.

  “Well, I promised I’d be there and I am. Plus, someone has to stop you when you won’t do it yourself, and your best friend has a family waiting at home, so I’m doing stand-in when she can’t do it.”

  She hummed in appreciation, too tired to say any words, and too comfortable to formulate any coherent thoughts at all.

  Once they reached his car, she shivered while he unlocked the doors, and he grabbed a jacket from his backseat, wrapping it around her. She cuddled into it, kicking off her shoes before drawing up her feet to the seat.

  “You’ll fall asleep on me,” Tank chuckled, his voice quiet as he got behind the wheel.

  “It’s a long drive,” she replied, ending her words in a yawn.

  He laughed softly. “Hardly thirty minutes. But go ahead. I got you,” he promised. She nodded, knowing that. Maybe she should reply, but when he turned on the heating and a soft rock song, she couldn’t muster the strength.

  Next thing she knew he nudged her and she looked around, confused.

  “You were out like a light,” he whispered, standing in the passenger side door. Behind him Hilary stood like a dark shadow.

  “This is like bad deja-vu,” her friend announced.

  “Not really,” Tank replied. “Evy and I aren’t a couple pretending we can stop seeing each other whenever.”

  “Jazz brought her back asleep when Johnny had bad nights. By then they were pretending he wasn’t going to relapse into darkness,” Hilary pointed out.

  “He still did,” Ev finally said, feeling as if she needed to say something while Tank grabbed her shoes. “I feel drunk.” And it was true. She felt as if the ground was going to give in and the world was tilting. Also, she could barely keep her eyes open.

  Tank didn’t hesitate long, picking her up before she’d done more than take two steps. He carried her inside and she didn’t mind at all.

  “Leila?” Evy asked.

  “Asleep since three hours ago,” Hilary replied gently. She could hear her friend following them up the stairs and she grinned to herself.

  “Don’t look so smug. She’s not the first warden I have to fight off to get to the maiden,” Tank whispered.

  “I heard that. At least you didn’t say dragon,” Hilary fussed.

  “Yeah, you’re too close and would still get me if you spit fire,” he chuckled and then winced. Evy assumed Hilary had punched him in the back.

  “You are going to thank me one day when you realize I haven’t let you mess up with her,” Hilary stated and Evy finally forced her eyes open.

  “Mess up with me?” she asked, wondering what the hell this was about.

  “Ignore her, fair maiden, the dragon has inhaled too much smoke.” Tank put her down on her own feet, dropping her heels onto the carpet. “You’ll be fine from here on, right?”

  She dropped onto the bed, reaching for the pajamas that lay underneath her pillow. She was sure she could still pull the shirt over at least.

  “I’ll be fine,” she promised, nodding. There was something she should probably ask him, but she couldn’t remember when she undid the first button of her blouse.

  “Good night.”

  He left and Hilary stepped closer, kissing her forehead. “Sleep tight. I’ll come and check on you in ten minutes, okay?”

  Evy nodded, or maybe she just wanted to. Opening her blouse took all her attention, and once she had gotten rid of that and the bra, she pulled over her sleeping shirt, stood to kick off her skirt and then was asleep the moment her head hit the pillow.

  “I’ll pick her up tomorrow at eight. I know she has a shit ton to do, but I have a feeling she needs the rest,” Tank said the moment Hilary came down the stairs. The brunette looked at him with a mix of anger and pride.

  “If she’s anything like her best friend, she probably hasn’t slept properly since hearing she was going to the US.”

  Tank considered that for a moment and then nodded. It was a rather high probability, especially with the way she’d worried about telling Tessa.

  “All the better to get let her get some sleep then. So, how much is the station paying you for watching Johnny?”

  Hilary squinted at him. “Why?”

  He shrugged. “Because in order for Ev to make this and not worry about her daughter, or feel irrationally guilty, I need you to please watch Leila, too, and I want to pay you for that. You’re working for her, technically, and…” He wasn’t the best with words. All he wanted was for Hilary to tell him how much so he could bring the first payment over tomorrow morning.

  “What’s it to you if I watch her or not? If I get paid for it or not?”

  She nodded her head at the sofa and he realized she wasn’t going to let him get away that easily.

  “It’s my fault things are currently the way they are. There’s a high chance Evy would be able to stay here even if this event doesn’t work out. I know she wouldn’t have wanted to use Tessa’s connections, but I was thinking about it last night and realized if Tessa had called her boss out publicly, or threatened to do so, Ian would’ve left her here either way.”

  Hilary grinned. “I was thinking the same.”

  He wasn’t surprised, but figured telling her that sometimes she was a lot more like him than she liked wouldn’t earn him any favors.

  “So I overreacted and feel as if I owe her.”

  Hilary leaned back on the sofa, no longer looking at him. “I’m calling bullshit,” she stated.

  “And why’s that?”

  He saw a smug smile spreading on her lips. “Because I just saw the way you handled her, the way you looked at her. You just want to make sure she’s as happy as possible, and knowing I’m watching her daughter will ease her mind considerably.”

  “Her happiness is not my concern,” he replied evenly, even though his heart cracked because it was true.

  There’d been moments that day when he’d been almost sure Evy would be ready to give him a chance, but then her face had shut down again as if she’d suddenly remembered whom she’d been talking to.

  “You want it to be your concern. What the hell happened to not being pussy-whipped? And to not get emotional because of a pussy? And—”

  “I remember what I said about Tessa, okay?” he snappe
d, standing. He needed to get out.

  “What happened to not falling in love, Tank?”

  The sincerity in her voice stopped him in the hallway, and he turned back to her. “I guess Jazz was right. You don’t plan that shit. However, good girls don’t go for guys like me,” he reminded her, knowing he’d pretty much confirmed her guess.

  It was true, too. What girl in her right mind would ever go for someone like him?

  “Guys like you?” Hilary echoed. “Guys who are nice and there when you need them?”

  He shook his head. “The man-whores who sleep around. The guys who fuck a different girl every night. Dudes who could not make a good thing work even if they tried.”

  Hilary stood. “I don’t think that’s your type. However, I can tell you women don’t go for people too afraid to take a risk and go for what they want. You know, the losers, the chicken shits, the wussies, the cowards, the—”

  He raised his hand to stop her. “I got it, okay? But you’re wrong. There’s nothing I could go for because she is…”

  Hilary suddenly stepped close to him, pushing him to the door.

  “What the hell?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t need cowards in my house. You know what you feel for her, and you know what you want, you just cannot admit it even to yourself, can you? Stay away from her if you don’t plan on being in it fully.”

  He twisted although she was still pushing at him. “It’s she who’s the problem!” he insisted, but Hilary finally had him in front of the door.

  “You don’t know that because you haven’t told her you want more. Maybe she surprises you. Maybe you’ll surprise yourself.”

  She closed the door.

  “You know nothing, house dragon. It’s not a fucking love story!” he called, but there was no reaction, although he belatedly worried he could’ve woken someone else inside the house.

  He waited for a few minutes, his heart racing in his chest while he entertained the idea of telling her, of asking Ev for a serious chance.

  Just as fast as he’d allowed himself that thought he dismissed it again.

  Romance novels never happened in real life, and no one knew that better than he.

  Evy had no idea how long she’d really slept because she could no longer say when she’d gotten home, but her head felt heavy as if she’d been drinking. Sitting up in bed she couldn’t deny that the little sleep she’d gotten during the last weeks finally seemed to catch up with her. Additionally, she wouldn’t lie, although she had a new kind of stress now, the worry about getting the event had dropped from her shoulders, making her lighter than before, and much more ready to sleep the day away.

  A squealing downstairs caused her to be wide awake within seconds.

  Leila.

  She hadn’t seen much of her daughter yesterday, and although she’d planned on at least kissing her good night last night, she’d not managed. She vaguely remembered falling asleep in Tank’s truck, and some comments Hilary and he made, but she’d been almost fully out of it.

  God, sleeping as little as she did was hell and she wondered how Tessa had managed it with as little sleep as Evy knew she’d gotten right after Jazz had returned.

  She changed into dark jeans and a blouse, figuring mixed with heels it would still look business-like, but at least she’d feel a lot more comfortable than the day before. She brushed out her hair, braided it, and then went to brush her teeth, too. She worried if she didn’t do it now, but tried for doing it after breakfast, she probably would forget altogether.

  She glanced at her phone before pocketing it. It was shortly after seven. It might be early for others, but she felt bad for having slept so long to begin with when she had so much to do.

  Sighing, she also figured the UK would have afternoon now and she might as well inform her asshole boss about what had happened, so she took the phone out again right away.

  He picked up after what felt a hundred rings. “Lanestrong Junior?”

  She gritted her teeth against his snobbish tone. “Jackson. I just wanted to report that I signed the contract officially yesterday. The Army Charity Gala is a Lanestrong event now. I’d have sent the papers over, but I don’t have a scanner yet, so it’ll take a little while, especially because I have other things to do.”

  Silence.

  “Mr. Lanestrong?” she asked.

  “You scored the event?” There was fury in his voice, and utter disbelief.

  “It was the assigned task, wasn’t it?” she asked innocently, waiting for a heartbeat before telling him she had to run.

  “You better not embarrass us, Evangeline Jackson,” he growled and she smirked, happy she’d caught him off-guard.

  “I won’t. My dream’s on the line and no one knows that better than you. And now I really have to go. I’m meeting with some people I plan to hire. I’ll send those papers along, too, after I bought a scanner.”

  She liked knowing she basically could do her own thing, and when Ian just told her to make sure all was legally safe before hanging up, she grinned at the mirror, feeling almost smug. Straightening her shoulders, she decided to get ready and leave for the office after kissing her daughter hello.

  Only when standing in the doorway it hit her that she didn’t have a car and therefore couldn’t do anything. She’d also forgotten to make sure Tank would pick her up again.

  Groaning, she made her way down the stairs.

  “Mommy!” Leila came running the moment she heard her, her little legs stuffed into pink leggings and sparkling slippers.

  She had a chocolate mouth and Evy caught her before laughing. “You look as if breakfast is good,” she commented and then rounded the corner to reach Hilary’s kitchen.

  Truth was, she still felt a little weird around the woman because Tessa had known her well, had talked to her more often, and although they were friends and had met before, she wasn’t sure what Hilary thought of her.

  “Sit. Have coffee. And listen.”

  Evy grinned to herself. Those were probably the moments Tessa had always been whining about when talking to Evy, because they meant Hils had something to say you mostly wouldn’t like.

  And that actually made the grin vanish. “I’m okay with the coffee,” she teased.

  “You’ll also be okay with breakfast and listening.”

  Evy shook her head. “I’m going to do breakfast later.” Even before she’d finished that sentence, a plate with pancakes was placed in front of her while Leila struggled to get down from her lap, running back into the living room.

  Hilary also brought a mug with coffee, then she pulled out a chair.

  “I’ll watch your daughter while you do that crazy project, but only under a few conditions. One, you’re home by seven to see her and you bring her to bed yourself. You can do work from here afterward, but you’ll also get a decent amount of sleep. You English girls have a tendency to run yourself into the ground. Two, you have breakfast before you leave. Three, you take off Sundays, and that one is just as non-negotiable as the rest. You need time with your daughter, and you need time to get your head free. Tessa will help you all she can, but she also knows how important downtime and family time are. Four, you are always honest with me, as I will always be honest with you.”

  Evy lowered her eyes as to not allow Hilary to see the defiance in her glance. “You’re not my mother, Hilary, and an event like that—”

  Hilary didn’t let her get further. “Don’t even start, okay? I’m not going to budge, and if you don’t accept those terms, you can find someone else to watch Leila. Tessa and Jazz pick up John at four the latest. What they do with him afterward? I don’t know and it’s not my business, but they do. He needs his parents. Leila needs her mom.”

  Evy turned, looking for her daughter. She spotted the light head behind the sofa, softly humming to herself. “I love my daughter, but I’m not exactly like Tessa. My job is important to me. I wouldn’t give it up just to be a mom.” Because she knew if push came to shove, Tes
sa would put her family before everything else.

  In her mind she tried to figure out how she could have Leila around when she was working if Hilary should refuse to watch her daughter. It would be nearly impossible.

  “I know that, okay? No one’s like Tessa. No one’s like you really, either. And I don’t expect you to be, but I’m opening up my kindergarten again, here in my house. It means I need to be able to count on the parents to take care of their kids so I don’t feel as if they are my own.”

  Evy met her eyes. “Which you do anyway because you see Johnny so much.” She shouldn’t feel defensive, but she did.

  “Actually… No. I have Johnny from about eleven, before Tessa leaves for her show, and I already said they pick him up at four. No weekend duties. I pushed until Tessa did what a mother had to do, and Ev, I’m going to do the same with you. Hard work or not, there’s so much computer work, so much reading and calculating and phone calls you need to make… You can do some of that here, while Leila is around. You need her to keep you sane. And…”

  Evy definitely knew why Tessa hated these talks.

  “Look, I know we’re not nearly as close as you and Tessa were before she came, so I don’t expect you to treat me the same, but—”

  Hilary stood, pushing the plate of pancakes closer to Evy again. “I treat you exactly the same. Tessa didn’t think being here was pleasant, because I kept kicking her ass. I kept telling her to get a grip. And I also put away all keys to keep her from going anywhere when I thought she needed the break.”

  Evy remembered Tessa mentioning that once. “She needed it. You were right in doing that.”

  Hilary laughed briefly. “She wouldn’t have agreed with you, to be honest. But that doesn’t matter. You girls are a piece of work. What happened to easy-going and fun-loving, lazy and laughing? I want one of those people to move in so I can be the cool sister instead of the annoying mom. But no, here I am, fussing again. Plus… I’d hoped someone would move in with me again so I wouldn’t be alone. I still am. I hardly see you.”

  That Evy understood, and she felt instantly guilty again. “I’d promise it won’t always be like that, but I know it’s a lie. There’s too much to do.”