Table of Contents
GLOSSARY
CHAPTER ONE: LAP OF HONOUR
CHAPTER TWO: HERO
CHAPTER THREE: HOMECOMING
CHAPTER FOUR: BABY BLUES
CHAPTER FIVE: TOO SOON
CHAPTER SIX: STRIPPED BARE
CHAPTER SEVEN: MOVING ON
CHAPTER EIGHT: PLANNING
CHAPTER NINE: ’ROUND THE MOUNTAIN
CHAPTER TEN: IN THE PITS
CHAPTER ELEVEN: MEET THE PRESS
CHAPTER TWELVE: DOMESTIC BLISS
CHAPTER THIRTEEN: CARELESS WHISPER
CHAPTER FOURTEEN: LOVER’S REMORSE
CHAPTER FIFTEEN: LOST
CHAPTER SIXTEEN: NEVER FOUND
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: COLD
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: NEW BEGINNINGS
CHAPTER NINETEEN: I’M POSITIVE
CHAPTER TWENTY: ONE AND ONLY
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: ROUTINE
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO: RERUN
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE: GIFTS FROM HEAVEN
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR: SORT IT OUT
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE: SING FOR YOUR SUPPER
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX: CHICK FLICK
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN: PROBLEM CHILD
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT: SEDUCTRESS
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE: SURPRISE GUEST
CHAPTER THIRTY: SAFE HAVEN
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE: GASLIT
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO: UNINVITED
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE: BIG DAY
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR: TAKE THE WHEEL
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE: THE END
ALSO BY MICHELLE IRWIN
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
PHANTOM
#5
MICHELLE IRWIN
COPYRIGHT
Copyright © 2017 by Michelle Irwin
First Edition
Published in Australia
Print ISBN: 978-0-9954228-5-8
Cover Artist: Pink Ink Design
Cover content used for illustrative purposes only, and any person depicted is a model.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to an actual person, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales, is entirely coincidental. The following story is set in Australia and therefore has been written in UK/Australian English. The spelling and usage reflect that.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the Publisher, except where permitted by law. To request permission and for all other inquiries, contact:
Michelle Irwin P O Box 671 MORAYFIELD QLD 4506 AUSTRALIA
www.michelle-irwin.com
[email protected]
For you.
GLOSSARY
CHAPTER ONE: LAP OF HONOUR
CHAPTER TWO: HERO
CHAPTER THREE: HOMECOMING
CHAPTER FOUR: BABY BLUES
CHAPTER FIVE: TOO SOON
CHAPTER SIX: STRIPPED BARE
CHAPTER SEVEN: MOVING ON
CHAPTER EIGHT: PLANNING
CHAPTER NINE: ’ROUND THE MOUNTAIN
CHAPTER TEN: IN THE PITS
CHAPTER ELEVEN: MEET THE PRESS
CHAPTER TWELVE: DOMESTIC BLISS
CHAPTER THIRTEEN: CARELESS WHISPER
CHAPTER FOURTEEN: LOVER’S REMORSE
CHAPTER FIFTEEN: LOST
CHAPTER SIXTEEN: NEVER FOUND
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: COLD
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: NEW BEGINNINGS
CHAPTER NINETEEN: I’M POSITIVE
CHAPTER TWENTY: ONE AND ONLY
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: ROUTINE
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO: RERUN
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE: GIFTS FROM HEAVEN
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR: SORT IT OUT
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE: SING FOR YOUR SUPPER
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX: CHICK FLICK
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN: PROBLEM CHILD
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT: SEDUCTRESS
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE: SURPRISE GUEST
CHAPTER THIRTY: SAFE HAVEN
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE: GASLIT
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO: UNINVITED
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE: BIG DAY
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR: TAKE THE WHEEL
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE: THE END
ALSO BY MICHELLE IRWIN
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Note: This book has an Australia main character, as such it uses Australian/UK spelling and some Australian slang. Although you should be able to understand the novel without a glossary, there is always fun to be had in learning new words. Generally, temperatures are in Celsius, weight is in kilograms, and distance is (generally) in kilometres (although we still have some slang which uses miles).
Arse: Ass.
Bench: Counter.
Bitumen: Asphalt.
Bonnet: Hood.
Boot: Trunk.
Bottle-o: Bottle shop/liquor store.
CAMS: Confederation of Australian Motor Sport.
Cock-ups: Fuck-ups/mistakes.
Dob: Tell on.
Doona: Blanket/comforter.
Face Washer: Face cloth.
Fairy-Floss: Cotton candy.
Footpath: Sidewalk.
Fours: Cars with a four-cylinder engine.
Fringe: Bangs
Gobful: Mouthful
HANS: Head And Neck Support/system. A device used to support the racer’s neck while driving.
Message bank: Voicemail.
Out on the Piss: Out drinking.
Newsagency: A shop which sells newspapers/magazines/lotto tickets. Similar to a convenience store, but without the food.
Pap: Paparazzi.
Panadol/Paracetamol: Active ingredient in pain-relievers like Tylenol and Panadol.
Phone/Mobile Phone/Mobile Number: Cell/cell phone/cell number.
Real Estate: All-inclusive term meaning real estate agency/property management firm.
Rego: Registration (general); cost of vehicle licence.
S bends (and into the Dipper): Part of the racetrack shaped into an S shape. On Bathurst track, the Dipper is the biggest of the S bends, so called because there used to be a dip in the road there before track resurfacing made it safer.
Shout (referring to drinks or food): Buy for someone. “Get the tab.”
Silly Season: Off season in sports. Primarily where most of the trades happen (e.g. driver’s moving teams, sponsorship changes etc).
Skerrick: Scrap.
Slicks: A special type of racing tyre with no tread. They’re designed to get the maximum amount of surface on the road at all times. Wet weather tyres have chunky tread to displace the water from the track.
Skulled: (can also be spelled sculled and skolled) Chugged/Drank everything in the bottle/glass.
Soft Drinks: Soda/pop.
Stiff Shit: Tough shit/too bad.
Sunnies: Sunglasses.
Taxi: Cab.
Tossers: Pricks/assholes/jerks.
Tyres: Tires.
Year Twelve: Senior.
Wag: Ditch school.
Wank: Masturbate
Wankers: Tossers/Jerk-offs.
Weet-Bix: Breakfast cereal brand.
Whinge: Whine/complain.
Uni: University/college.
“BREATHE, DARLIN’. YOU can do this.” Beau’s voice through the door helped calm my erratic breathing, but it wasn’t enough to beat back the nausea rising inside me.
“I—I can’t.” I splashed my face aga
in, hoping the cool water would help me focus.
It wasn’t working.
I had a big day ahead of me on the track—my first true race back in a ProV8 car since I’d been held captive by my ex-boyfriend and his psychotic family. It had been an effort to find my way back to my old life, but one I thought I’d won.
The previous day of qualifying had gone well. I had faith that I could use my abilities on the track and come out on the other side. Fresh from that success, I’d fallen asleep in Beau’s arms after a quiet dinner with Dad, Angel, and Beau.
It had all seemed so perfect.
I should have known better. Perfect was nothing more than a veneer.
I didn’t wake that morning with the same confidence, ready to face the day. Instead, I’d been tugged back to consciousness far too early by a number of nightmares about Bee chasing me on the track. He was everywhere at once; in every car around me. His dark eyes sought me out, constantly searching for any weakness he could exploit. Every dream had ended the same way—with his car crashing against mine.
Then we weren’t in cars anymore. Instead, I was reliving the things Bee had done to me, and the things he’d forced me to do until I’d mercifully found my way back to consciousness.
My stomach had churned, and my knees trembled as I’d struggled out of the unfamiliar hotel bed. My pyjamas had been soaked through and my hair stuck to my back from the sweat pouring off me.
Needing some space and time to recover, I’d locked myself in the bathroom for a shower, but I’d only gotten as far as undressing before everything hit me at once and the sobs started.
“Are you all right?” Beau asked again.
I wasn’t able to answer him as I tried to wrestle my body back under my control.
“D’ya need me to break down the door?” Beau asked after a moment’s pause.
“G-give me a minute.” I wasn’t sure I could trust my legs enough to not use the counter for support or to get dressed again. They definitely wouldn’t carry me to the door.
“Take all the time ya need, darlin’.”
“Keep talking,” I said as I tried to find my centre.
“What d’ya want me to say?”
“Anything. Just talk to me.”
“I can’t wait to see you on the track today. You did such—”
“No! Anything else,” I said as his words put the dreams back in my mind. I had no idea how I was going to cope with being out on the track under full race conditions with the cars pressing in around me. With the reminders of my dream ringing in my mind.
“I ain’t leasin’ my house no more.”
“What?” Beau’s statement made no sense, but it worked to take my focus off the track and the mess I was going to make when I tried to go out.
“If ya open the door, I’ll tell ya what I mean.”
The images of the dream were still haunting me, but between the calming effect of Beau’s voice and my own curiosity, I found the strength I needed to push away from the vanity. When I reached the door, I tugged it open without stopping to consider that I was still naked. At least until Beau’s eyes widened and his breath caught.
“You were saying?” I asked.
“I’m drawin’ a blank right now, darlin’, to anythang that ain’t a phoenix.”
“My face is up here, cowboy.” I clicked my fingers near my face as my amusement overtook my panic. Rather than predatory leers and the type of gazes that made me want to hide, Beau’s eyes were filled with admiration. Pure devotion—he wasn’t staring at me with any desire for ownership but rather as if he couldn’t believe I was in front of him.
His gaze drew a line from my breasts to my eyes.
“Thinking clearly now?” I teased.
A slow grin spread across his lips. “Maybe, but ya might not want to know the direction of my thoughts. I’m worried they might make ya uncomfortable.”
“I don’t know if you could make me uncomfortable,” I said, moving closer to him to brush my hands through the hair near his ears. “Not when you look at me like that.”
“How ’bout when I hold ya?”
I shook my head. “That wouldn’t make me uncomfortable. In fact, I think it’d do the opposite. I think I might even need it.”
With slow, precise movements, he wrapped me in his hold until I relaxed in his arms.
“D’ya wanna talk about it?”
“Later. First, tell me what you meant. About the house.”
“Heh. Well, when your daddy offered to sponsor me and get the work visa, I made the owner of the house an offer. I didn’t wanna have to move out. And Angel’s all settled in now too; I didn’t wanna disrupt her neither.”
“So you bought the house? Because you might have been able to stay in the country?”
He dipped to kiss my neck. “I was excited that I might get to stay near ya.”
I tilted my head back to give him more room.
“Ya know what would make me more excited?” he whispered against my skin.
“What?”
“Havin’ you wake up in my bed every mornin’.”
I grabbed his shoulders and pushed him away as the implications of his suggestion struck me.
He wants me to move in with him?
Hadn’t I called Angel thoughtless for a similar statement not that long ago? “W-what?”
He shook his head. “Nothin’. Never mind.”
“No, it wasn’t nothin’.” I mimicked his voice. “And it’s not the sort of discussion we should be having when one of us is naked.”
“What about when both of us are nekkid?” He waggled his brow and forced a thicker accent as he said the words.
“I think it’s a conversation for another day entirely.” My heart thumped against my ribs. Could I do it? Could I move in with him? Could I leave the safety of Mum and Dad’s house? “Maybe even another decade.”
“I understand, darlin’,” he said, letting me off the hook. “D’ya wanna have a shower and get ready for the track? You’ve got a big day.”
My stomach clenched and then twisted sickeningly at the reminder of both what was coming up and what I’d dreamed all night. I had no idea how I was going to get through the day.
Clearly in tune with my constantly shifting moods, Beau frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“Can I tell you something?” I asked.
“Anythin’.”
“I don’t know if I want to win,” I admitted as I left Beau’s hold and crossed the room.
“What d’ya mean?”
“If I win, I’ll have to go in front of the cameras. Up on the podium. People will want photos and autographs. The press will want to talk to me regardless of any embargo Dad’s put out there.” With each word, I closed further in on myself, wrapping my arms around my chest and sinking to the ground.
He kneeled down in front of me. “Ya don’t have to do anythin’ ya don’t wanna. Win for you, because you know ya wanna. The rest, it ain’t important. It’s clutter.”
“It’s not clutter.” I threaded my fingers into my hair and clutched tightly. “It’s what the sponsors want—what the contracts demand. It’s what I need to do.”
“Ya ain’t racin’ alone. Steve’s still the lead driver. He can go up there for the both of ya. No one ’spects ya to do anythin’ you can’t.”
I raised my gaze to meet Beau’s. “But it is expected, eventually anyway. And even if I can get away with it this time, what about Bathurst? Or next year? If I do what Dad wants—if I get in the car for real and on my own—how will I be able to get up on the podium alone?”
He wrapped his hands around my shoulders and gave me a smile. “You won’t ever be alone.”
“But people will think I’m a snob for not getting out amongst fans and signing autographs.” My body started to shake at the thought of being in a press of people. Beau and the bathroom around us fell away as my mind filled with the image. “I-I can’t—I can’t do this.”
He cupped my cheek. “You are capable.�
�
I sucked down a breath as the words settled over me. “I am capable,” I repeated back with less conviction than he’d used.
“You can do this.”
“I can do it. With your help.”
He shook his head. “You could do it without me if ya had to.”
I was about to argue with him, but he wrapped his arms around me again.
Drawing me into his chest, he continued, “But I’ll be there beside ya every step o’ the way anyway.”
After holding him tight, I felt a little more at ease. The reassurance in his voice was the reminder I needed that I could do this. It wasn’t just Beau who’d be at my side either. Mum, Dad, Angel, all of my family, they’d all be beside me. They’d all have my back when I needed them. They had since the beginning; I’d just had blinders on to them when I’d been unable to see through the pain.
Beau and I stood, but he seemed reluctant to release my hand. “About what I said,” he started, his voice tight and nervous. “I don’t wanna put any pressure on ya, and I understand if ya never wanna do it, but the offer is open. Always. My house. My bed. My whole life. It’s yours, darlin’, all ya gotta do is ask. How much or how li’l, that’s your choice.”
“I’m just not ready to move out of home again yet, and I hope you understand that.”
He nodded.
“But I choose you,” I said, drawing him towards the shower even as I reached for the hem of his sleep shirt. “And I choose us.”
WHEN STEVE started the race, I sat at Beau’s side and listened to him feed instructions through the comms. With my eyes closed, it was easy to picture being out in the car. I ran some practice laps in my head. By the time it was my turn, I was ready for the conditions of the track, and I’d completed at least half a dozen laps in my mind already.
Although there were a couple of close calls, Beau anticipated my needs as well as he always did. It seemed the more I’d pushed him away when he was pursuing me, the better he’d become at reading the non-verbal clues of my distress. As I drove, he picked up on those little hints: the speed of my breath, the pitch of my voice, and the dips in confidence as I moved around the track. Each time, he was there giving me what I needed. Like I knew he would be.
Phantom (Phoebe Reede: The Untold Story #5) Page 1