I beamed at her and answered, “Yeah, well, I’m a little late for my normal routine,” then I added extra charm before I answered, “But now, I think that maybe I was right on time.”
She chuckled. “My family comes here every week for vacation and this week, I am looking for a little more…excitement, if you know what I mean.”
“Wow, you haven’t even told me your fucking name and already, I think you have stolen my heart,” I explained smoothly.
She giggled again and scooted closer before she answered in a lower, more seductive voice, “Well, if you must know, my fucking name is anything you want it to be, but before fucking, you can call me Chelsea.”
Damn…A desperate, hot woman…Well, that’s a change. I guess the beach really does attract all types. “Oh baby, I can fuck you so well, your name won’t even matter anymore. The only one you will ever respond to is mine and that’s only because you will hope to experience what I am going to do to you all over again.” I made my eyes slide down to half mass before I leaned in toward her.
Her eyes mimicked my own before she answered, “Then what are we waiting for?”
I was just about to stand up and follow her wherever, in order to do whatever the fuck I wanted with this piece of perfected, primed and perfectly prodded ass, when I thought of Ashley and to my dismay, I stopped.
At first, I wasn’t sure what had come over me until finally, all I seemed to feel was an intense sensation of guilt. Suddenly, I didn’t want her.
Then, the words came out of my mouth that made me want to knock myself in the head with the barbell that was placed no more than four feet away. “I’m sorry, but you are way too easy for me.”
What the fuck is that? I thought. There’s no such thing as too easy…Too hard is a challenge I will readily accept, but too easy is a gift. What am I doing?
“Excuse me?” The woman demanded, feeling rightfully put off. “What did you say, asshole?”
I shrugged easily and answered, “If you weren’t so damn desperate, I would fuck you in a minute, but you heard me bitch, you are just too easy.” I laughed and pulled back from her, still not sure exactly why I was saying the words spilling out of my mouth or why I cared how easy she was. I tried to stop myself, but I was overcome with a sensation of anger before I answered, “Yeah, just…No. Skank.”
With that, I received the slap across the face that I knew I deserved, but was almost happy to get. I knew that if I wanted another shot with Ashley I was going to have to be a little more selective than little miss jump my fucking bones and as much as I wanted to get laid, I realized in that moment that I wanted Ashley more.
“Good luck!” I answered condescendingly as the woman made a scene of standing up and strutting away from me, “Not getting a venereal disease….” I grumbled before I left the room, feeling angry and intensely dissatisfied.
Chapter Thirty-One
Ashley
I wasn’t completely sure what to do. After the conversation, I had with Tyler this morning, after he had showed genuine concern for me and I had just shoved him away, I had no idea where I should go next. I didn’t want to feel crazy, but I also didn’t want to seem too desperate to wash my hands of him.
So, after checking that no one else was home when I returned to the house, I called my friend, whom I had met in college.
The two of us had met the first week of school and we had become fast friends. Even though both of Stacy’s parents were still alive, she felt similarly about her parents and her step-parents. She felt like her whole world fell apart when her parents got divorced, and when they each remarried, it was almost as though both of her parents had stopped acknowledging that she existed in favor of their new families.
If anyone, I was sure that Stacy would understand.
So, after complaining about one another’s summer, I said to her, “Hey, I have a question for you. I need some advice.”
“That’s what I’m here for,” she answered in a disarming fashion. “Focusing on someone else’s problems is so much preferred to my own.” She laughed slightly before admitting flat out, “I feel like I’m drowning in them…My own, I mean. I just can’t get away from them. Both my parents keep pushing me out of their house, so that they can spend time with their real families and even when they aren’t making me feel terrible for existing, they are trying to get dirt on the other one.” She sighed in a frazzled manner. “And they’re supposed to be the adults?” She stopped short before she added, “God, I’m sorry. It’s just all been boiling up inside of me.”
“No, I get it,” I answered. “And I’m sorry. That sucks.”
“Majorly…” She groaned again before she answered, “But…enough about me. What is going on with your crazy family, my friend?”
“Well,” I explained, not really wanting to admit that this was an entirely family affair, “my family is…Basically just like I thought they would be. They are crazy and not in the good way, but I think my stepmom tries…” I shrugged, for my own benefit, before I added, “It doesn’t work, but I guess that’s better than washing her hands of me.”
“Trust me,” Stacy chimed in, “any attempt is better than nothing. I’m lucky if my stepmother even looks at me without turning up her nose like I am something the cat dragged in...Or cats…if you want to get technical.” She chuckled humorlessly before she paused to let me speak.
“I’m sorry,” I answered, not sure what else to say.
“Everyone has problems, what are you gonna do?” she answered and I could tell from knowing her for as long as I did that she was now shrugging too.
I smiled sympathetically, once again realizing that there was really no way for her to know what I was doing. Although, it made me feel better.
“So, what is going on with you?” she asked after a pause. In that timeframe, I wondered whether or not I really wanted to tell her what was going on; after all, it was a little strange. Still, since I had purposefully called her for advice, I figured it would be best to continue on with my explanation.
“Well,” I said carefully, “I met a guy.” I was purposefully trying to keep that part as vague as possible. “And I really like him, but I don’t want to at all.”
“Why?” she asked. I knew that she was trying to understand the situation, but when she added, “It’s not weird, like he’s your stepbrother or anything right?” I wanted to throw up.
The only thing that saved us from the awkward silence and my house of cards falling to the ground, before the foundation was even partially complete, was Stacy’s shrill laugh.
By the time the noise stopped, I was able to accurately assure, “No. It’s some new beach guy that I met while trying to get away from my family. He’s hot and he can be funny. Very manly…” I sighed, hoping that the worst was over and I could be honest now.
“Okay…” she began, “So, I’m not getting a reason why you can’t be with him…You kind of broke up with your boyfriend here already.”
I nodded and chose my words carefully. “Yeah…I know, but he’s a little…abrasive?”
“Did he hit you?” she demanded with alarm.
“No!” I exclaimed, trying my best to keep the story straight. “He didn’t do anything like that, but he’s controlling and I just…I shouldn’t be with him.”
“So, then there’s your answer,” she responded quickly. “That isn’t something that is going to change.”
“No…” I admitted, but then felt slightly silly for what I said next. “Although…I kind of…like it? I can’t help being attracted to him and even though I want to kill him more often than I want to do anything else, when we are together and he is not being a total asshole, it is like nothing I have ever felt before.” Plus, you know, he is my stepbrother… I thought to myself, but physically shook the thought out of my head. I knew that there was no way I should be thinking about that part of this problem, since I had no intention of revealing it anyway.
“Is it just a summer fling?” she asked after care
fully considering what I had said, “or do you want it to be more?”
“I don’t want it to be anything!” I answered adamantly, even though I wasn’t completely sure that this was true.
“Well, then don’t,” she answered quickly. “Look, if there is something about him that makes you not want to be with him, then it is probably for good reason. You can’t just pretend that everything is okay. You have to make everything okay.”
“But, what if I’m too weak to resist? He is a master of manipulation and for as much as he can be an ass, he is also really sweet.”
“When he wants something, right?”
I didn’t say anything, which was basically like agreeing with her, at least in Stacy’s mind.
“Remember, everyone has the capabilities to be nice, until you tell him no,” she said. “You need to find a man who is good for you, no matter what. You need to break whatever hold this guy has over you and make sure that it stays broken. I don’t know much about the situation, but I think that you really need to do what is right for you. I don’t think that you should be going around doing everything for him, especially if you don’t feel fulfilled in the relationship, whatever that might be. You need to take control of your life. You can’t allow anyone, but especially not a man, to live it for you.”
I thought about this and realized that she was completely right. I knew that he was controlling my life, but I needed to figure out how to make it stop. “How do I get him to leave me alone?” I asked her, realizing that she was inspiring about what she had said so far.
“You just have to push him away. He needs to know that you don’t want him dictating your life.”
I laughed, thinking of how amused Tyler would be to hear her say that to him before I answered, “It isn’t like he is the most understanding person…”
“Then you make him understand!” She had a shrill fire in her voice that I had not heard in a long time. I suddenly had the feeling that this conversation wasn’t just helping. “You have to show him who’s boss. If you really think that something isn’t right between the two of you, then you need to figure out how to tell him in a way that he cannot help but understand.” She paused for a moment before she answered, “It is the only way, Ashley. It might not feel so good to hurt his feelings, or do whatever it is that you know you have to do, but in the end, you both will be better for it.”
I thought about this for a long moment. I even tried to argue. After all, I was trying to think of any way I possibly could to warrant staying with him, but I couldn’t deny that her advice made sense and it got me feeling more confidently about my situation.
“You cannot surround yourself with negativity outside of your family,” Stacy went on. “There are enough problems between you and your dad. You don’t need to complicate things by inviting negativity into your social life as well. Just because you are back home for the summer doesn’t mean that you are the same girl you were when you left for college; you have got to understand that.”
“Yes,” I answered, feeling even more confident. “I do understand that, Stacy…” Then, I heard a noise as if someone was making their way toward my room. “Hey, listen, Stacy…Thanks for the advice, but I have got to go.”
“Sure, any time,” she answered genuinely.
“Good luck with your situation,” I added before we said our goodbyes.
I had always felt bad for Stacy. Even though I had a similar issue with my father, at least I knew that my father loved me. Some days, which after hearing the story, I couldn’t blame Stacy for, she felt like neither of her parents even wanted her. It was such a shame too, because Stacy was always such a nice person.
However, even though I felt bad that things hadn’t changed for her, I felt rejuvenated, in a way. I might not be completely sure what I was going to do about this new feeling that I had coursing through my body, but I was fairly certain that whatever I wanted to do with it, I was going to feel so much better once I did it.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Tyler
What the fuck is wrong with me? I thought with ire as I watched the blond woman saunter away from me. I could picture her perfectly toned body lying across a hotel room bed, while I took in her sweet aroma and screwed her blind, but I couldn’t believe what I had just done.
I had just let this delectable, available and interested piece of ass waltz right out of my world.
After she turned the corner, I looked down at my hands and clamped them into fists. I felt like punching something and so, I made my way down to the area of the gym that had the proper equipment for me to pummel something without being arrested.
When I made it down to where the punching bags were hanging, along with a full boxing ring, I went off by myself and began to beat the shit out of a punching bag. As I punched and kicked it diligently, it kept just coming back for more and so, I gave it to the bag.
This was usually a good way to work out my anger, but today, no matter how hard I came at the bag, it was still just hanging there. It took no skill and my strength was just absorbed. I couldn’t see the bruises and I couldn’t watch it weaken.
No matter what, I would eventually grow tired and when I did, this stupid bag would win because I would be the one to walk away from it.
I had never thought about it like that before, but once I did, it only made me angrier.
Finally, I huffed a sigh and sagged against the bag. I could feel the sweat dripping off of my body and splattering onto the mat where my feet were, until a moment ago, constantly moving.
Then, as one more burst of fury ran through my body like a shot of lightning, I screamed, “Fuck!” at the top of my lungs, turned around and shot the bag with one large blow before I sagged against it again.
“Looks like you’ve had a rough day,” I heard a voice say over the sound of my own loud breaths.
Seeing the man, I panted quickly, “Mind your own fucking business.”
He laughed and answered, “Why don’t you fight a real man, instead of that pussy bag?”
At first I waved him off, knowing for certain that I shouldn’t give in to such childish prompting. I wasn’t scared of the man, but I did fear what I might do if I really was to fight him.
After all, my goal was to have knocked the damn bag off of its fucking chains and not being able to do that had only made me angrier. I knew that it wasn’t good to fight while angry, for there was nothing to keep you in check. Rage did mix well with fist fighting; especially when I wasn’t going into the fight with the intention to kill my opponent.
“Hey, aren’t you supposed to be some bigshot? A real tough guy?” The man asked, making his way closer to me.
“What’s it to you who the hell I am? Like I said, it’s none of your business who I am or the day that I’ve had, so leave me the fuck alone.”
Again, the man barked a laugh. He was one of those short, quick son of a bitches that probably fought dirty. I wasn’t scared of him at all. I just didn’t want to kill him. I had already gotten off the hook for one murder, I didn’t want to have to worry about it again. And with the day I was having, I knew that if I threw the first punch, I might not be able to stop and that would only be because I had to show myself, as well as everyone else that I was still a man who was in complete control.
“All right, pussy. If you’re scared to fight me, then that’s fine,” he shrugged and moved to turn away, but my sharp laugh caused him to turn back around.
“Yeah, I’m scared alright,” I answered, “I’m fucking terrified that if I hit you, I’ll kill you before I get all of my anger out. You look like a one punch kind of guy…even in the shape I’m in.”
The weaseled man’s eyes narrowed as his thin lips coiled into a smile, as though he was accepting a challenge. “Prove it, fuck-face.”
I shrugged and strutted my way to the boxing ring, then waited to see if he wanted to get any of the safety equipment. There was no one around, so we would be able to get away with not using it. The only reason I wante
d to use anything to soften the blows was so that I wouldn’t kill him, but I certainly wasn’t going to run the risk of looking like a little bitch in order to save his pasty ass.
So, I hopped up into the ring.
The man looked around, almost nervously for a moment, as though he had ultimately expected me to walk away, before he moved over to the ring and slithered inside.
Looking at him while he took his stance, I almost felt bad for him. He was so scrawny. Speed was nothing if a well-placed punch threw him to the ground within a moment.
I smirked at the thought.
“What’s so goddamned funny?” the man spat.
“Your goddamned face,” I answered as we began to circle one another. I knew that I had the form, far more than this barroom brawler, so I wondered why he would be picking a fight in a gym, but didn’t question it. Instead, I just added, “Can we get this the hell over with, cupcake?”
While I was talking, he tried to run in and take a cheap shot, but I dodged it. I could have hit him, but I was feeling sadistic. I wanted to give him hope of being able to beat me before I completely emasculated him.
The only thing better would have been if there was an audience, but working to please myself, I had learned to be comfortable enough with my own praise.
So, for the next few minutes, I allowed him to swat at me, and after a few skillfully planned near-misses, I actually allowed him to hit me.
He punched me square in the jaw and even though it didn’t really hurt, I was surprised at the strength he had accumulated for it.
However, in the moment it took me to recover, mostly fabricated than anything else, I saw in his eyes that he was growing cocky and I knew that this was going to be over soon.
I moved in closer to him and set myself up, before taking my first swing. He ducked, just as I expected, so that he leaned right into the force of my second jab.
Dirty Stepbrother - A Firefighter Romance (The Maxwell Family) Page 99