by K. C. Mills
“Aight then. Do what you need to do, but Doc, that’s my baby girl…” Red paused, leaving the end of his statement open, but the look he gave was worth more than any words that he could have spoken.
“Understood. Your baby is just as much a priority to us as she is to you.”
Red nodded and walked over to my side. My heart was pounding, and I felt panicked. This was the first time I had physically laid eyes on him since that morning when I went to sleep with him lying next to me. I had seen his face in my head a million times since then, but to have him here this close, with the look of disgust that was currently on display had my heart feeling as if a hand was wrapped around it and squeezing tightly. I had to explain… but how?
“Red, I… I didn’t—”
“Shhh, relax, Peyson, not now.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “We’ll deal with that later. All I need you to do for me is relax so that our daughter arrives safely. The doctor is gonna do his thing, and I’m going to be right here to make sure he doesn’t fuck up.”
His eyes were on mine in a way that relaxed me. This was the Redmon that I remembered from months ago. Loving, intimate, and caring. I was well aware that this was simply the calm before the storm, but right now, I needed him.
Our daughter needed him to be by my side, so I accepted what he was offering and agreed with a simple nod of my head followed by, “Okay”
“Is he gone? Did he leave?”
My sister frowned at me as her eyes swept the room. When they landed on my daughter, she smiled wide and headed right to her.
“If you mean that fine ass chocolate God, then no. Yes, he’s still here. I passed him in the hallway. He was on a call. Those pictures you have on your phone do him no justice. My God, Peyson. If I had one night with him, I would have had his baby too.”
“You do realize that this wasn’t intentional. She wasn’t intentional.”
With my daughter now in her arms, my sister shrugged. She had a smug grin tugging at her lips while her eyes remained on my little beauty. “Maybe not by you, or even him, but it was intentional. She was supposed to be here. You were supposed to be her mother, and that fine ass man out there who likely hates every fiber of your being is supposed to be her father. She’s perfect, Peys. Simply perfect. A perfect little chocolate drop. There is no way this is dickhead’s baby. I had my doubts in the beginning because you and a one night stand just didn’t make sense to me, but looking at her now, I’m a believer.”
Hates me? Of course, he hates me. I hid his daughter from him.
“Would you stop calling him that? He’s—”
“A dick head. You know it, and I know it. Linus never deserved the time you invested in him.”
“He wasn’t that bad.”
That simple statement blessed me with my sister’s full attention. “He wasn’t that bad? Are you still high off whatever drugs they gave you? He was the worst. He used you, he cheated, and all while you were supporting his stupid ass. I wished that you had a least married the dummy, so you could take half of that business that you helped him build. You funded it, and it wouldn’t have happened without you. He is and will forever be a dickhead.”
My sister’s focus was back on my daughter as she cooed softly to her. “He’s a dickhead, sweet baby, and I’m glad that he’s not your daddy. Your daddy is a fine, chocolate god who you look just like. Your mommy loves him but refuses to admit it.”
“Pree, don’t say that.”
“What? Redmon is her father. Well, unless there’s another one night stand that I don’t know about.” Her eyes rolled over to me again while she flashed me a devilish grin. “Well?”
“No.”
“That’s what I thought. You know that Mom and Dad are going to kill you. There’s no way that you can continue with that lie anymore. Linus is damn near white, and you’re barely brown. It is physically impossible for the two of you to have produced this beautiful chocolate baby. They fly back in a week. You’re going to have to tell them.”
“I know. I can’t think about that right now.”
“Why didn’t you just tell them in the first place? You’re grown, Peyson. What could they say?”
“A lot. Who wants to tell their parents that they got pregnant from a one night stand by a guy that they know nothing about. Can you imagine what Daddy would say, or how disappointed he would be? Not to mention they love Linus.”
“You’re right, they do, because they don’t know him. But I do. You allowed them to think the world of a man who wasn’t shit and will never be shit. So what if they would have been disappointed? You would have been happy and wouldn’t have had to go through this pregnancy alone. That man showed up here with one phone call. You can’t tell me that he wouldn’t have been here for you.”
I rolled my eyes, and she cocked her head to the side, as if to say, what?
“Speaking of that, why did you give his number for them to call him? That wasn’t your place.”
“You’re right, it was yours, but you were being stubborn and childish. He needed to be here. You wanted him here, and it wasn’t fair for him to miss her birth. He’s already missed so much. I don’t blame you. I totally understand, but it’s time to figure things out with him, even if it’s just for her sake. She needs her daddy.” She smiled at my daughter again. My, she wasn’t just mine anymore. “Don’t you, pretty baby? You need your daddy and so does your mommy. If for no other reason than she hasn’t had a stiff one since they created you. Mommy is uptight, and Daddy can fix that for her.”
“Pree, oh my God. Don’t say that to her!”
“It’s true, and she has no idea what I’m saying.” My sister briefly lifted her eyes to me. “Well, she is kinda smiling, so she might.”
“Put my baby down.”
“No, so how was it?”
“It was terrible. The cut me open while I was awake, and I could feel them digging around inside of me, but I would do it all again for her.”
My smile expanded. I was in love with her already. More so now than the day I took the first test and realized I was pregnant. I loved her from the second I knew that she existed, but seeing her tiny little face took that love to an entirely new level.
“That sounds awful, and I think you just murdered any dream I had of having a baby, but that’s not what I meant. I was asking about him, how was it with Red in there?”
I closed my eyes and exhaled, remembering the process. “He was okay. It’s hard to gauge because he didn’t say much. He was just there.”
“That’s a good start, and he didn’t leave. I’m sure that counts for something.”
“I’m scared. I don’t know what to say to him.”
“You should be. Not only is the man fine as hell but he sort of has the scary vibe. I bet he has a few bodies on him. You said he’s a drug dealer, right?”
“Would you shout the hell up? Why would you say that out loud?”
“Because it’s true. You might as well get comfortable with it. I think it’s exciting. Your boring ass needs a little excitement in your life, which she guarantees since the two of you are tied together for the next eighteen years.” She paused and grinned at me. “That is if you don’t come up missing for hiding his daughter from him.”
A chill rushed through me, and my room door opened at the same time. There he was, looking like perfection in the physical form. This man was everything I remembered with a few slight changes that only made him that much more attractive. His hair had grown out a few inches, leaving a thick mass of tight coils on his head that were tapered on the sides. If I had to guess, he had just recently visited his barber. The low-cut beard that I remembered had also gained some length but was just as perfectly trimmed and well-manicured. The eyes, those dark, piercing eyes that were like daggers shooting through my soul expressed what he was thinking and feeling. He did hate me.
“You’re Pree?” When he spoke, it connected with my soul, flooding me with memories. I missed that voice.
Nodd
ing slowly, my sister smiled nervously and then inched closer to him. She eased our daughter into his embrace, and he cuffed her in his solid arms, cradling her against his chest with love. He loved her already. He hated me, but he loved her. She seemed minuscule in comparison to his size, but the sight of the two of them warmed my heart.
“Thank you for making sure I was here.” His eyes never left our daughter, but I could feel the knife in my heart from the implication of guilt that he placed on me. “I need to discuss a few things with your sister, if you don’t mind.”
He wasn’t necessarily asking her to leave. Men like Redmon didn’t really ask for things. He did, however, want my sister to feel as if she had a choice while also understanding that she didn’t. That’s the type of man he was. Kind but assertive. You were going to do what he asked, regardless.
“No, I don’t mind at all. I’m sure you have a lot to work out.” She hurried over to me and kissed my cheek before whispering, “Call me. I love you, and you’re in a hospital. He can’t kill you here. If he does, at least you’re in the right place.”
She grabbed her purse moments later and was out the room. I was alone with him, and my heart was beating so severely that I was positive there were now indentations on my chest.
“How do you feel? They said that you would be sore. Do you need anything, pain medicine?” Almost every inch of me hurt, but I wouldn’t dare express that right now. This wasn’t about me.
“No, I’m fine.”
Red’s stare was intense. The harshness in his expression didn’t falter until he looked down at our daughter. Immediately, a softness consumed his features, and a smile that was barely noticeable surfaced.
“Is she really mine, Peyson?”
“Yes.” I barely heard it myself because there was no energy behind it. I was embarrassed and disappointed. But why? I did this, right?
“I’m not going to ask you why, because I get it, a nigga like me doesn’t fit into your perfect little world, but this is me, Peyson. My blood, my first born, you didn’t have to hide her from me. I get not wanting to be with me, but you didn’t have to hide my fucking kid. Even if you didn’t think I was good enough to be in her life, the decision wasn’t yours to make.”
He wasn’t yelling, nor did his voice even elevate in the slightest, but there was so much anger in his tone that I could physically feel it. That invisible knife piercing my heart was now twisting and turning.
“It wasn’t about me not wanting to be with you or that you’re not good enough for her. I just—”
“What the fuck was it then? Because, from where I’m standing, that is exactly it. Your imperious ass didn’t think I was good enough to be with your or in my child’s life? And yes, I know what the got damn word means. Don’t act like it was anything but that. I’m not a college graduate like that weak ass muthafucker you were chasing, but I’m still pretty fucking intelligent. Our worlds don’t mix, but guess what? She’s mine, so you’re gonna have to figure that shit out because that nigga isn’t raising my kid. I’ll cancel his ass before that ever happens. I’m going to be around for my daughter.”
I probably should have told him that I wasn’t with Linus and hadn’t been since that night, but there were more important issues that we needed to address. I was also stuck on how easily it rolled off his tongue that he would cancel Linus. I was pretty intelligent also, so there was no mistaking the meaning behind his threat.
“We had one night and then walked away. We both walked away. It’s not like you reached out to me, Redmon. How was I supposed to know that you would want anything more, especially when you made it very clear that you didn’t? I’m not in the market to give another woman my time. The shit is not worth it, and y’all don’t appreciate it. Do you remember that? Those were your exact words. A baby is a big ass time commitment. Something that you said you didn’t want.”
“I also sent you a text that said if you needed me for anything to call me and that I had you for whatever. Having my baby is a big ass fucking you need me. Or maybe in your mind you don’t. Shit, you tried to do it by yourself. Not once did you pick up the phone, Peyson. Not one fucking time. I missed so much. I could have been here, for both of you.” The way his eyes pierced through me had me holding my breath. The silence was deadly. “I’m not missing anything else where she’s concerned.”
She! He only cared about our daughter. My heart shattered.
“I have to go take care of a few things. I’ll be back later. If you need anything before then, call me.”
“We’ll be—” The hateful look that he delivered had me holding my breath again.
“We’re not about to do that shit. If you need me, call me. I’m the only fucking call you make.” His voice matched the anger in his expression. It was final, not leaving room for compromise.
“I will.”
I watched as Red examined our daughter’s tiny face. It was as if he wanted to take in every detail and commit it to memory. I couldn’t help but smile at the way he took her in. After a few minutes, he kissed her forehead several times and then walked back over to her portable crib, and gently placing her inside.
“What’s her name? You did everything else without me. I assume you already picked that too.” He spoke without removing his eyes from her. She already had a hold on him that warmed my heart.
“Reid. I would like to name her that, if you’re okay with it.”
With knitted brows, he stared blankly at me.
“It was as close as I could get.” Red’s expression softened when it registered before he found his voice again.
“She’s gonna have my last name.”
“Yes, I want her to.”
Neither of us said a word for a minute. I watched him watching her until he eventually made his way over to me and softly kissed my forehead. “Thank you, for her. She perfect but understand that I’m involved now.”
I was choked up and couldn’t speak but I didn’t have a chance to. Seconds later, he walked out the door and I was alone. A rush of emotions hit me all at once, and I turned my head toward my daughter but couldn’t see her face due to the tears clouding my eyes. My mind was all over the place because of the mess that I had created. Red had every right to hate me, but it pained me to know that he did. This was going to be hard, but I had no one to blame but myself.
Red.
As soon as I left Peyson’s hospital room, I was on my phone again. I had so much shit on my plate already. This was the last thing I needed but there wasn’t a damn thing that I could do about it right now. I had a daughter. She was so fucking beautiful and perfect that I knew my life had completely changed because of her. Niggas would die behind my kid, and I wouldn’t feel an ounce of regret.
Over the past few months, I had been aligning everything so that I could transition out of the life. One night with a woman like Peyson had me wanting more. I wasn’t totally ready to walk away, but for the next few years I planned to step back and run shit with a less hands on approach. Now, after holding my daughter, it was absolutely necessary. I couldn’t bring her into a life that put a target on her back. That shit wasn’t about to happen.
“Aye, I need you to move a few things around for me.”
“Got you. How much down time you need?”
I didn’t need to explain shit to Boyce. He just fell in line and stepped up when needed. That was the reason I had no issues handing over more responsibility to him. He had more than proved his loyalty to not only me but to what we were trying to make happen. Getting money by any means necessary.
“A few weeks for now. I’ll be around, I just need to fall back a little.”
“You’re good, boss. I’ll do whatever necessary to make shit run smoothly.”
“’Preciate it.”
“She good though, the baby?”
As I stopped at the elevator, I couldn’t suppress the smile that surfaced. “Yeah, she’s good. Reid, her name is Reid.”
“Congrats, boss.”
I
chuckled. “I don’t know what the fuck I’m gonna do with a baby, but she’s here.”
“Truthfully, I can’t picture that shit, but I ain’t never seen you fail at anything. You’ll figure it out.”
“At least one of us has confidence. I’ll hit you later. I need to make a few runs and then I’m heading back up here.”
“Aight, bet. Oh, and Sasha…” Boyce paused. I had completely forgotten about her. “She refused to leave. I figured that you wouldn’t want me to make a scene. You seen her yet?”
“No, where was she?”
“I left her in the waiting area. She was crying and shit, asking me questions I didn’t have the answers to.”
Fuck! I groaned out under my breath.
“Aight, I’ll take care of it.”
I ended the call just as the elevator door opened. I had a good mind to just leave, but if she was indeed still there, I didn’t want her nosy ass trying to track Peyson down. I repeated Peyson’s name when the nurse called me, so it would be nothing for Sasha to piece things together if she really wanted to. No matter how pissed I was with Peyson, I wouldn’t allow Sasha or anyone else to disrespect her or our child, and that would be exactly what happened if Sasha had a say in it.
Instead of stepping on the elevator, I turned and headed back to the waiting area on the floor. The second I crossed the threshold, Sasha’s eyes were on me.
She stood slowly but didn’t move. “Is it true? You have a baby?”
“Let’s go,” was my answer.
There were other people in there, and I wasn’t about to discuss my personal business in front of them.
“No, tell me, now!” She raised her voice, and my posture stiffened.
With my eyes on hers in a way that didn’t leave any room for debate, I spoke low but in a tone that ensured she was clear about my mood. “You have two seconds to move your ass. I said let’s go.”
Sucking in a deep breath while handing over a look of devastation, she snatched up her purse and stomped toward me, passing the point where I was standing with a massive attitude. I turned to walk away, leaving me slightly ahead of her after one of my strides equaled two of hers. When we reached the elevator and were safely inside, I backed her against the wall and spoke my peace.