by K. C. Mills
After light conversation over dinner, our stomachs were full, so I eased away to make sure my baby was changed and fed. Sitting quietly in the corner of the bedroom that I was escorted to by Red, I surveyed my surroundings and took in all the details. The furniture in there was massive. A king-sized bed and matching dresser. There was a flat screen on the wall which was seventy-two inches, and the décor was dark in color. Greys and navy blues. Being that it was very similar to the room at his house, I assumed this one was set up for Red when he visited.
Looking down at my daughter, who was latched onto me but quickly dozing, I released a short sigh.
“You have a great grandmother, but you still haven’t met your own grandparents,” I said softly and then was startled by Nan’s voice when she entered the room.
“Why is that? You hiding this baby from your parents? Red told me that you two are living with him.”
“No, I’m not hiding her. They’ve been traveling. We’re only with him so that he can spend time with her. I have my own place. He just missed a lot of stuff, so it’s only fair.” I didn’t like feeling as if she assumed that I needed him or was using him.
When our eyes met again, she offered a concerned look. “I know you have your own, baby. It was more a question about your relationship with your family, but for now, that’s not my business. Redmon is. He loves that baby, and he cares about you. I don’t know why you kept her from him, but you’re here now. You plan on staying around?”
“For Reid, yes. I would never keep him from his daughter.”
“But you did that already, so that word of yours doesn’t mean much, now does it?” She peered at me with a stern expression which had me feeling horrible.
“I just… things with us were… are complicated.”
“Life is complicated, baby. You can’t use that as an excuse to hurt people.”
My face quickly tightened. “I wasn’t trying to hurt him. Is that what you think? Did he tell you that?”
“No, he didn’t, but he was hurt, regardless of whether or not that was your intention. Red doesn’t have a lot of family. I’m pretty much it’s because his mother was too selfish to care about him, and his father just simply refused to. That baby is gonna change a lot for him. She has already changed a lot. My grandson is just stubborn. Most men are; their egos tend to control how they do things. Red’s not perfect. He does a lot of things that I don’t agree with, but he’s a good man. He takes care of family, and when you matter, you can always count on him. You and Reid will always be able to count on him, but don’t abuse that.” The warning in her eyes had my chest tight. She was unsure about me.
“I would never do that,” I offered, hoping that she could feel my sincerity. It was the truth.
For a long, silent moment, she just stared at me. Her expression was unreadable. Sweet, old Nan that I had experienced tonight had turned defensive and protective over her grandson.
“What about Redmon?” A frown surfaced, and confusion settled in before I responded, seeking clarity.
“What do you mean?”
“You said that you would be here for her.” She pointed to Reid. “I assume you mean you’ll be around so that Red can raise his daughter, but what about him? Do you plan to be here for him?” Nan’s stare was hard, but I wasn’t intimidated. I couldn’t fold if I expected her to believe in me.
“If that’s what he wants, then yes.”
My answer brought a smile to her face, and that eased the tightness that I was currently feeling in my chest.
“Oh, trust me, that’s what my grandson wants. Don’t let his ego make you think otherwise. You two have some things to work through, but you’re gonna be okay. That baby will make sure you are.”
“Maybe you know something that I don’t,” I mumbled as she left us there.
No matter what I wanted, and I wanted Red, I had no control over his heart or his feelings. For now, I had to just let things play out and hope for the best, but today gave me hope, so I was holding onto that.
“What are you doing?”
I looked up to see Red standing in my doorway holding a small, black plastic food container. I was curious as to what it was, but at that moment, he had my full attention. I didn’t quite understand why he felt the need to always be half naked. Maybe it was another way to torture me since he was now actually talking to me. This time, he was in black sweats that were cut into shorts, slightly frayed and rolling around the edges that hugged just at his knees. The white Polo embroidered on them let me know that they had been purchased that way, but my focus was on the impression that hung slightly between them. Well, until I snapped out of it, and my eyes eased up his bare chest to his face, which housed a slight grin.
“You smiling at me or this?” He extended the container to me as he entered my room.
My cheeks warmed when he stopped just in front of me and motioned his head toward the edge of my bed, requesting permission to sit.
“Yes, sorry.”
I took the container and plastic spoon from him after he was seated about a foot away from me. When I realized the contents, I was the one smiling.
“When did you get me cake?”
“I had my guy drop it off a little while ago. You were in the shower.”
“Thank you.” I lifted the lid, and the rich, chocolate scent tickled my nose.
Sending the spoon right into the edge, I inhaled deeply before I lifted it to my mouth. I felt Red watching me, but I was too into the rich taste that hit my tongue. My eyes closed from how it damn near melted in my mouth and tasted like heaven.
When Red chuckled, I peeled them open, and he smiled.
“I know that look, and I’m a little jealous that cake is the reason you have it right now.”
My mouth dropped open, and he laughed again.
“That’s the shit, right?”
“Yes, it’s perfect. Where did you get it?”
“A little hood spot I know. One of my homeboy’s mom runs it. It don’t look like shit, but she can bake her ass off.”
Taking another spoonful in my mouth, I nodded to agree. I was personally in love with her cakes after two bites.
“So, you really not gonna share that?”
My eyes darted to the half-eaten cake before I made it to Red’s face again. The smirk he wore had me rolling my eyes.
“You don’t like chocolate cake.”
“How you know that?”
“It’s what I ordered that night, and you let me eat the whole thing by myself.”
I noticed a flicker of something in his eyes at the mention of Valentine’s night, but it was gone just as quickly as it appeared.
“That was because I knew your greedy ass didn’t want to share like you don’t right now.”
I looked down at the container and then at him, but he playfully shook his head.
“You good. I wanted to holla at you about a few things and figured I would bring a peace offering.”
I guess the look I gave him expressed my concern because Red smirked again.
“Stop stressing, it’s not bad. I know I’ve been a shitty host for the past couple weeks, but I’mma do better.” The sincerity in the look he gave me had my walls coming down a little more. “I also want you to know that I appreciate you not fighting me on moving in here with Reid.”
“I owe you that much.”
“Hell yeah, you do.” He laughed and then offered a half smile. “But, I get it. It wasn’t like I made the decision easy for you. Your ass was still wrong as fuck, but I understand where you were coming from. It was a tough decision, and more than anything, I appreciate you for keeping her. You didn’t have to.”
“You don’t have to thank me for—”
“Yeah, actually, I do. I look at her sometimes, and all I think about is what if you hadn’t. She’s so damn perfect, and we did that.” Red smiled so hard that it didn’t fit, but the gesture me smiling too.
“I… did that,” I said arrogantly.
�
��Maaaan, you get your props. You did the bid to get her here, but your scary ass was falling to pieces when I showed up. You wouldn’t have made it without me.”
“Hump. Don’t be so sure. You actually made it worse. The way you looked at me when you walked in didn’t make the situation any better, and I was sure that Dr. Altman called for extra security.”
Red chuckled and shrugged. “That was your conscience. Your ass knew you were wrong, and he might have because he knew I wasn’t fucking around if anything happened to you or Reid.”
With a heavy eye roll, I spooned the last piece of cake into my mouth as I blushed, but all I offered him was a simple. “Whatever.”
“Nah, fuck whatever. You know I’m right. That’s why your ass was all nervous and shit, but we’re past that. I’m not gonna keep bringing it up. You good, though?” He looked around my room before his eyes landed on me again. “You okay being here? I’m sure it’s not as nice as your spot, but I hope you feel at home.”
“Your house is nice, Red. Why would you assume mine is any better?”
He chuckled and brushed his hand down his face before his eyes met mine again. “I know your shit is better, but this works for what I need. It’s just me and now Reid. Long as we both have space, that’s all I need.”
I felt a tightness in my chest. He wasn’t including me in that equation. Now I understood how he felt when I kept tossing out we and our before I left the hospital.
“What’s up?” Red frowned at me, gaining my attention. “What I say that got your face all tight?”
“Nothing.”
I diverted my eyes and placed the empty container on my nightstand.
“Peys, what’s up? I know I haven’t been the best since you been here, but you can tell me what’s on your mind.”
“Were you with someone today? Is there someone else?” I blurted out and then instantly regretted it the second his face tightened.
It took him a minute to speak, but before he did, he stood and created some distance between us.
“Yes, I was with someone today, but no there isn’t anyone else. It’s nothing you need to worry about, though.”
Why didn’t I need to worry about that? Was this his way of telling me to mind my business? He didn’t owe me anything, and he could do whatever he wanted, right?
I got the answer that I was looking for, and it felt like someone had literally kicked me in my chest. How could I not worry about him being with someone? What he said didn’t make a bit of sense. Well, not to me, anyway, but it was clear that me being hopeful was a waste of my time.
“Oh, okay,” slipped from my lips as I sat there lost in my thoughts.
“Get some rest. I’m sure Reid will be up hungry again in a few hours.”
Nodding slowly, I sucked in a deep breath so that I wouldn’t pass out. I felt like I hadn’t breathed since his answer. Without another word, he left my room, and I sat there trying to decide what was next because a future with us apparently wasn’t it.
Red.
I had been home for a less than an hour, and when I got there, I peeked in on Peyson, who was out cold in her bed with Reid cradled in her arm. The two of them together like that had a me feeling soft. It was a feeling I wasn’t used to, so I tucked the feeling away, captured the moment with my phone, and then headed to my room to hide the money that I had received from Boyce.
Once I had it all separated and stacked, I began to slowly place it in the safe that was in the floor of my closest. After a few minutes, I stopped, lifted my hand and patted my side, speaking to Peyson, who I could feel standing behind me.
“You’re gonna fuck around and get shot moving like that.”
When I glanced over my shoulder to actually see her, Peyson wore a strange look on her face. Her eyes were on the money that was inches away from where I was kneeling. It took her a minute before she actually focused on me.
“You would shoot me?”
I smirked and finished placing the money in the safe while answering her at the same time.
“Depends. You up to no good?”
“No,” she pushed out like I had annoyed her by asking.
“Then, I don’t have a reason to shoot you, but you might want to reconsider walking up on a man who is strapped without announcing your presence.”
I closed the door to my safe and then keyed the code to lock it before I returned the cherry wood square that kept it hidden.
“Apparently, I didn’t need to announce my presence. You knew I was there.” She rolled her eyes as I stepped around her to leave my closet. She followed, and I pulled the door closed behind me.
“A man like me is always aware of his surroundings. Even the slightest detail stands out to me, but this gave you away.” I leaned in and inhaled her scent, allowing my lips to graze her neck in the process. I wanted to kiss her so bad that I had to step away to avoid doing so.
Peyson tensed up like she didn’t want me that close to her, and that thought annoyed the fuck out of me. Lately, she had been sending me mixed signals. Things between the two of us were a little more relaxed now but still off. I was sure it had to do with me admitting that I had been with someone a few weeks ago when she asked me, but there was no reason to lie. We were simply co-parenting as far as I was concerned. Reid was our only connection. Well, her and the feelings that we were both currently denying. Regardless of me admitting that I had been with Sasha, I also firmly stated to Peyson that she didn’t have anything to worry about. I guess she missed that part or was too caught up in that fact that I had admitted it in the first place.
Easing away from me slowly, she began to fumble over her words like she couldn’t figure out what she wanted to say. “I, uhh, wanted to ask a favor.”
“We here again?” I questioned with raised brows.
“What do you mean?” Peyson looked at me all nervous and shit.
It was cute. It reminded me of the Peyson that I remembered. Not the one who had been moping around for the past couple weeks. The only time she smiled was when Reid brought it out of her.
“I mean, you being all timid and nervous around me. I make you feel like that?”
Truthfully, I needed the answer. I didn’t want to be the reason she was unhappy. I thought that we were making progress. Hell, she hadn’t asked to leave my house yet, and lately, she had been treating it like it was her own. She even left a few times using one of my rides and letting herself in and out with the keys I gave her. Not to mention she had damn near decorated my living room after complaining about having to spend all her time in her room. As far as I was concerned, this was her home. Did I mean that like it sounded?
“No, sorry. I didn’t know I was. But I guess that’s more about what I need to ask you.”
Now she really looked nervous, and that had me stressed. I hoped she wasn’t about to tell me that she wanted to go back to her place. I had grown accustomed to the two of them being here. Even if we weren’t rocking like that, having her here every day when I came home felt right. I also knew we had to figure some shit out because it couldn’t stay like this forever. We both needed clarity on what we were doing, but that would have to come later. Right now, we were here.
“What’s up?”
“My parents are back, and they want to see Reid…” She paused and sucked in a deep breath. “I think it’s time that they met both of you.” Her parents?
That’s why she was all nervous and shit. From what little I did know about her, I understood that her parents were important. Meeting me meant having to give them an explanation. I was a street nigga, and I was sure she wasn’t looking forward to introducing that part of my life to them. Truthfully, Peyson barely had an introduction to who I was and what my life was about. She only knew what I did, and what little she knew was vague. She also didn’t speak on it, which, in my opinion, translated to her not being comfortable with how I lived.
“You want them to meet me, or they want to meet me.”
“Both. But I think it’s
time. You’re Reid’s father.”
I gave her a questioning stare because the way she stated that I was Reid’s father sounded more like an uncertainty than an actual fact. Lucky for me, I had no doubts. Reid was mine. I could feel it in my gut, and she had all of me in her appearance.
“You don’t sound very convincing. You asking me if I’m cool with it, but you don’t seem like you are.”
“What? No, I am. I want you to meet them.”
I chuckled at the way she said it. The idea made her uncomfortable. She also mentioned me being Reid’s father as more of a negative than a positive.
“You sure you’re okay with that?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” The frown she sported was defensive but also not hiding a damn thing. She wasn’t comfortable with the idea of me meeting her parents.
“I’m a drug dealer, Peys. You sure you want your parents to get acquainted with who I really am? They don’t know shit about me, never heard shit about me, but we have a baby. I’m sure that won’t go over too well.”
“It doesn’t matter. You’re still Reid’s father. What they know about you won’t change that.” Her frown deepened, but I still wasn’t convinced.
She was right about their opinions not changing Reid’s DNA but that didn’t guarantee their acceptance. I didn’t have any fucks to give about them liking me, but I knew she did.
“What do your parents do?”
She paused as if trying to prepare her answer. That was my heads up. “They own a bank and a law firm…” Pausing, she looked around the room and then looked at me again. “Several, of both.”
I laughed sarcastically and shook my head. Taking a step back to lean against my dresser, I folded my hands together, allowing them to rest in front of me. “They own several banks and law firms, but you think they’ll be cool with you having a baby from a man like me?”
“They won’t love what you do, but that’s not who you are. It’s just what you do. My parents aren’t—”
“Your parents are like you. They come from a different world than I do. They will damn sure care about who I am and what I do. You can’t sit here and tell me that they won’t. Save the lie for something more believable. It’s cool, though. I’m good with who I am, and anyone who has an issue with how I make money can suck my dick.”