by K. C. Mills
“No…I really just wanted to get this to you.”
I pulled my lip between my teeth biting down on it in an effort to calm the storm that was brewing internally. I was damn sure making a trip down to the homeowners association. I owned the unit, but it had been empty since I moved into my house. If they were giving out my address, then I was fucking shit up to make sure it didn’t happen again, and I was selling that got damn property.
“You thought that was a good idea?” I questioned calmly with a look that I knew was anything but.
“I used to live there. Why wouldn’t it be?”
“THAT WAS DAMN NEAR A YEAR AGO!”
When she stepped back and opened her mouth to speak but then stopped, I moved forward speaking through clenched teeth. “You don’t give a fuck about no got damn mail, nor do you believe I give a fuck about that bag or what's in it.”
Her eyes landed on Reid, and I got even more pissed.
“You wanted to see her? Does that make it any more real for you? She’s real, Sasha. But she don’t have shit to do with me not being with you anymore. I tried to be nice about it, but I see that doesn’t work. You want a nigga to treat you like I treat every other female I don’t give a fuck about? You showing up here doesn’t have a got damn thing to do with anything other than you wanting to get my attention hoping that it would make me change my mind about some shit I told you wouldn’t change. You want my attention, well you got that shit. The question is how is that gonna play out for you?”
Fear flashed in her eyes just that fast. Sasha wasn’t green like Peyson. She was very well versed in what I was capable of which showed by her next move. She pulled that damn duffle bag into her chest and started backing away from me so clumsily that she almost bust her ass by missing the first step behind her. The tears started, but that shit didn’t affect me. Since she had the nerve to show up at my house like she owned that right, fuck her feelings.
“I’m sorry. I just… I’m sorry. I won’t come back. I won’t even fuck with you anymore. I get it now. I ain’t shit to you.”
“I hope you do get it because having my attention the way you have it now is not something that’s gonna work out in your favor.”
Sasha whipped her wrist toward her face and swiped her cheek. Turning away from the menacing glare that I gave her while she hurried to her car she almost busted her ass again. I watched until she was inside of her car and backing out of my driveway and I swear on God my fucking heart dropped to the pit of my stomach when Peyson passed Sasha’s dumb ass. The fuck she doing home so early? It really didn’t matter. Shit didn’t look good, and I was about to have to explain why the hell my Ex who Peyson knew from a prior conversation, didn’t know where the fuck I lived was backing out of my driveway. Wasn’t no way in hell she was gonna believe that Sasha went through everything she just laid out, just to get to me. I wouldn’t have believed it had I not heard it come out her damn mouth.
Fuck. I groaned as soon as Peyson was out of her car and her head whipped around just in time to see Sasha break at the stop sign that was at the corner of my street. When I had her attention again her face said it all. She was fucking pissed.
As soon as she reached me, she snatched Reid from my arms but didn’t say a word but I damn sure did.
“Don’t be handling her like you don’t have no got damn sense.”
Peyson still didn’t speak. She just stomped her ass right into the living room and situated Reid in her swing and after making sure she was secure she was heading my way again. The closer she got to me I knew shit was going down. I raked my hand down my face waiting for her to lose her shit and she did. Just not in the way I expected.
As soon as she close enough, Peyson slapped me so fucking hard that it took every ounce of restraint I had to remember who she was so that I didn’t punch her ass off my natural reaction to being hit.
She didn’t say a word and instead tried to walk around me, but I snatched her arm so aggressively that her feet damn near left the floor when I pulled her into my chest.
“You wanna know what actually happened or you want to just assume shit?”
Her eyes ballooned likely from the way I handled her, and I felt bad about it, but I didn’t need her trying to put her hands on me again. The best way to prevent that was to keep her under control.
“She was here, you walked her out. What more do I need to know other than you’re a fuck nigga for having that bitch here while my daughter was here? The same bitch that you said has never been to this house before.”
If the situation weren’t so fucked up, I would have laughed at the fact that my little Peyson really did have some hood in her. Now just wasn’t the time.
Peyson was fighting to break free of the grip that I had on her arm, but it wasn’t going to do her any good. She wasn’t getting free until I allowed her to.
“It’s not what you think, and I’m not that fucking disrespectful. She didn’t even come in the got damn house.”
“Yeah, okay. Fuck you and fuck her too.”
The first tear fell causing me to loosen my grip on her arm. The second I did, she broke away from me, and her hand landed on my face again with the same force as it had the first time she hit me. I turned my head to the side accepting it, but when my eyes met with hers again, she quickly stepped back which was good for both of us. I didn’t say a damn thing. I just left her there.
When I returned from my room with my keys and wallet, I unlocked my phone I walked up on her and pushed it into he chest. She flinched not knowing what I was about to do so my phone landed on the carpet right at her feet.
“Since your ass wants to use your fucking hands instead of listening to me, I’m not gonna explain shit to you. Pull up the camera to right before you got here and watch the video. When you do, don’t say shit else to me unless it has to do with Reid. I’m not a perfect man Peyson. I have a lot of shit with me which I’m well aware of, but I would never do no foul shit where you’re concerned. Even if I had it in me to fuck you over like that, I damn sure wouldn’t do it while my daughter was here.”
We had a stare down, her chest heaving while I stood with my fist clenched at my side. Neither of us said a word or moved until I turned my back to Peyson and made it to the door leaving her with one last thing. “I’ll hit you up in the morning about seeing Reid. You don’t need to be here when I get home.” Right after I left without waiting for a reaction.
As soon as I was in my truck, I hit Lobo up. I was so fucking annoyed that I needed to smoke something and fast or a nigga was bound to take a life tonight, and as of right now Sasha was at the top of my list.
“Yo, let me hit you back Red. I’m—”
“Aye, never mind I’ll hit Boyce.”
I was about to hang up on his ass, but he spoke up quick. “Nah fuck that. Hang on. Aye, get up. I need to holla at my boy real quick.”
“Seriously nigga?” A female voice snapped back.
“As a fucking heart attack. Now take your ass in there and wait until I call you back in here. The fuck you looking at me like that for?”
“Fuck you, Leonard.”
“That’s exactly what I’m gonna do if you shut your ass up and go wait in there like I asked yo stupid ass to.”
“Aight I’m back. Why you calling me from your business line? What’s good, didn’t something go down? Who we running up on or who done pissed you off?”
I didn’t think about the fact that me hitting Lobo up from my second line would seem off, but I didn’t have any other option other than to just pull up since I damn near threw my personal one at Peyson.
“Nigga was you in the middle of fucking somebody?”
“Nah just head but had you called about five minutes later I wouldn’t have answered.” Even as pissed as I was I couldn’t help laughing at his dumb ass. “What’s good though, fam?”
“I just need to get high, real fucking high?”
“You know I got you but don’t you have shit at your spot. I know
you didn’t burn through all that shit we just secured that fast.”
“Nah, I didn’t, but I’m not home right now.”
“Then take yo ass home. Problem solved. I mean you could drive all the way out here if you want to but—”
“If I wanted to go home I wouldn’t have called yo ass now you supplying or not?”
“Aye, my nigga we cool as fuck. I’ll take down the entire fucking city for you Red, but if you yell in my ear one more got damn time, after I shut down some bomb ass head just to take your call, then I’m gonna punch you dead in your face as soon as I see yo ass.”
I opened my mouth to snap back, but the only thing that came out was a laugh.
“Oh, so you laughing now? You know I’m dead ass about cracking your shit.” I could tell his dumb ass was smiling which had me smiling. Lobo was my nigga for life, and we issued threats daily, but they didn’t mean a damn thing because they didn’t hold any weight.
“Mannn, fuck you and your attempt to crack my shit. We both know what’s up.”
“Nah you know what's up. But what’s good though? I can tell you ain’t yourself right now.”
I dragged my hand down my face when I stopped at the traffic light that I was approaching. “Sasha showed up at my house. Peyson saw her leaving, and she fucking snapped on me.”
“Why the fuck was Sasha at your house fam? Aren’t you in some committed shit with Peyson?”
“Was and you wouldn’t believe me if I told you. Sasha was on some dumb shit.”
“Nigga why are you playing victim? I told you that bitch was crazy, didn’t I?”
“Maaan.”
“Nah fuck that I told you to shut her ass down.”
“Muthafucker I did. Sasha’s just—”
“Crazy as fuck. I told you that. What happened. Peyson’s bourgeois ass gave Sasha them hands, didn’t she? I knew your girl was an undercover hood.”
“Hell no. She slapped the shit out of me though, twice.”
“What’d you do?”
“I left.”
“Good cause there ain’t no coming back if you had put your hands on her. She looks like that type to have a lawyer on speed dial.”
Yeah, she does, the ones who work for the law firms that her father owns.
“Who the fuck you think I am?”
“I’m not saying you would intentionally do it, but your reflexes are on point, Red. I have been on the wrong end of that shit too many times, which means I can say that with confidence.”
“True, but I kept it G. I just left and her ass better be gone by the time I get back.”
Lobo just laughed, but I didn’t see shit funny.
“The fuck you laughing about?”
“Yo in love ass. You know good and damn well that if she ain’t there when you get there, you’re pulling up wherever she is. Ain’t no way you’re about to end shit over your fuck up.”
“It wasn’t my fuck up, and I’m done. The shit wasn’t really for me anyway. I was just trying to make it work on the strength of my baby girl.”
“Nah you were trying to make it work because you feel something solid with her, and it is your fuck up. Sasha was your old work, fam. Don’t matter whether you shut her down or not, if she showed up and pissed off your girl, that’s on you. Get your hoes in check.”
“Fuck you mean my hoes? I know you ain’t putting Peyson in that category, my nigga.”
“Hell nah. I’m not trying to fight your crazy ass. I mean I’d win don’t get that shit fucked up. I’m just not trying to let that go down, but you just proved my point. If you were done, you wouldn’t give a fuck what I called her.”
“She’s still my daughter’s mother, Lobo. I would fucking care.”
“Maybe, but that ain’t the only reason why you care. Take yo ass home and let me go so I can slide up in this pussy and then get back to this money. You good?”
“Yeah, I’m straight.”
“You going home?”
“Nigga get your hood version of doctor Phil ass off my line.”
“I’ll be that just like you’re about to be that dude that’s about to go home and beg your girl to forgive your stupid ass. Now play with it.”
Lobo hung up on me, and I shook my head as I hit the corner to head back to the highway. I wasn’t about to beg for a got damn thing because I wasn’t wrong, but I was taking my ass home. If Peyson was still there we were gonna talk this shit out without her putting her fucking hands on me.
Right after I ended my call with Lobo and decided to head home, my grandmother called giving me an excuse not to. I was was actually happy about that being that I wasn’t quite ready to see Peyson yet. She had every right to be pissed because the shit didn’t look good but she didn’t have the right to put her damn hands on me, and she could have given me a chance to explain. I knew by now if she did watch the video, she was feeling dumb as hell. I was sure we would get past this, but I just needed a minute before I was ready to talk the shit out.
A minute turned into hours of my grandmother having me driving around the city running errands for her and then doing shit at the house that she wasn’t able to handle. It didn’t mind though. I needed the distraction, and my grandmother was my OG. Whatever time she wanted of mine, I never questioned and always made it happen. There wasn’t any urgency to any of the stuff she had me doing which let me know that I needed to come around more. Bottom line, she missed me. Nan occasionally got like that but didn’t want to put constraints on my time. Her way of dealing was to just hit me up with a bullshit task that would keep me within reach. That was exactly what today was about. When I was done, she cooked for me we kicked it about life while she got in my ass about not bringing Reid and Peyson by. Then she grilled me about what was on my mind. Nan had a way of knowing shit was off balance in my life without me saying a damn thing. That was just how she was. I kept my issues with Peyson to myself, and she eventually let it go but made it clear that she was there for whatever. I already knew that so life was Gucci. After dinner, I cleaned up, she went to sleep, and I crashed on the sofa waking up a few hours later to leave.
Now here I was standing over my bed with my entire world snuggled up in a purple fuzzy blanket that contradicted everything else in my room but them. Reid’s little face was calm like she didn’t have a care in the world while her mothers was tight like she was still ready for war.
My first thought was to just say fuck it and climb in bed with them, but I knew we had to work some shit out first. I was physically exhausted, and my brain was seconds away from shutting down, but I needed to get right with Peyson, or I wasn’t going to be able to rest easy. The tip of my finger moved toward her, to ease her hair away from the side of her face before I pressed I kiss to her temple. Peyson could sleep hard as hell, so she barely moved until she heard me call her name. I was so close to her ear that she tensed for a minute before her eyes finally opened.
“Come on, we need to talk.”
Her first reaction was to glance over at Reid who hadn’t budged. “She’s good for a few hours. You just feed her right? It’s after midnight.” I knew baby girls scheduled like it was my own. Down at seven, up by eleven and after a bottle, she was down again until about five or six in the morning.
I stepped back and just enough to allow Peyson space to get up. She slowly inched her way off the bed trying not to disturbReid, and when she made it to her feet, her body brushed against mine because I hadn’t allowed her much room to navigate around me. No matter what was going down between us, Peyson being that close had my body on alert. The vanilla scent that radiated from her skin and the way her bare legs extend from under my T-shirt which stopped just above mid-thigh had me second guessing my decision to talk. I felt my length expanding in my jeans just that quickly.
Neither of us moved for a minute but Peyson eventually maneuvered around me, and I could tell it took a lot for her to do so. I smirked at how carefully she moved because I knew she was trying her best not to make any more contact th
an necessary.
“Grab that. We can go downstairs.” I motioned to the nightstand with a dip of my head to where Reid's monitor was. Peyson switched it on and lifted the handset to bring with her. I let her go ahead of me and followed behind into the hallway and down the stairs. She paused after she hit the last one and waited for me to tell her where to go, but instead I stepped around her taking the lead until we reached the kitchen. I needed a buzz. She stood by the island looking like she was somewhere between slapping me again and about to break out in tears. I wasn’t pressed about it so instead of immediately interacting with her. I found my way into the garage and put my hands on my stash. She watched me make my way back to the island where I stood beside her and rolled up.
After I had it blazed and between my lips I think she reached her breaking point because she finally spoke up.
“Are we going to talk or not?”
Again I made her wait while I inhaled slowly, dropped my head back and let it seep through my lips. I felt an instant buzz. This shit is the truth. I placed the blunt between my lips again but let it hang there while I gripped her firmly by the waist and positioned her on the counter. Luckily she didn’t fight me on it but her damn face balled up at my next demand.
“Open your mouth.”
“No.”
“Peys, open your damn mouth.”
She rolled her eyes and pursed her lips together defiantly until I gripped her chin after inhaling once more. My mouth covered hers for a kiss which aggressively pushed the smoke into her mouth. When I pulled back, she choked out a cough causing me to smile. It reminded me of that night. The night that landed us here in my kitchen pissed at each other.
“Why did you do that?”
“Because you need that shit, now calm the fuck down so that you can take it the right way.”
When my hand eased up her thigh, her shoulders dropped a little, and she rolled her eyes. I smirked at her stubborn ass but inhaled again, cupped the back of her head and then pressed my lips to hers, but his time I released the smoke slowly and she was arable to receive it without coughing up a damn lung.