by M Helbig
The door slammed open, smashing Georgius in the gut and doubling him over. “Just like a Gladiator.” Fistbeard crossed his arms. “All flash with nothin’ to back it up. Maybe this’ll get me point across.”
The dwarf waited for Georgius to stand so he could kick him in both shins and send him back to the ground. He gave a long nod and went back inside.
Quest: And Stay Away!
Description: Leave Fistbeard alone.
Completion Objective: Move five hundred feet away from the door of Fistbeard’s house and don’t come within that range for at least a day.
Reward: Don’t find out why Fistbeard has the word “fist” in his name.
Georgius growled as he stood back up. “You forgot something on that last one, dwarf.”
A second dwarf hesitantly peeked out next door. When he saw Fistbeard’s door was shut, he walked out to greet us. His neatly trimmed beard was the exact opposite of Fistbeard’s unruly mane, and his smile suggested a similarly opposite demeanor. He wore an apron covered in pockets containing a countless array of metal instruments, tools, and devices. I could guess the use of most, though a few I was sure were only for show. “Who forgot the what?”
Georgius shook his swords at Fistbeard’s hut, but didn’t advance. “That supposed Monk gave us the location of the Golden Hole on our maps but neglected one important detail.”
“Oy! Was it that it be neither golden nor holey?”
“No,” Georgius said. “There was a locked door on the map between that city and the dungeon. He forgot to tell us how to get the key.” Georgius flinched back as a loud noise came from Fistbeard’s hut.
“Everyone knows that.” The dwarf held a magnifying glass up to his eye and peered up at Georgius. “Maybe not. Have ye tried this?”
Quest: Unlock the Hole
Description: The mayor of Grimrag has the key to unlock the Gate of Fred, the back door to the Golden Hole. Unfortunately, his clan has given their solemn vow to the king of the Golden Hole to only let members of the clan use the key. Even though that king is long dead and his kingdom is no more, the vow still stands. The mayor will only let you use the key if you prove yourself worthy of his clan’s trust.
Completion Objective: Raise faction with the Town of Grimrag to “Respected.”
Reward: Back Door Key
Georgius extended his hand to the dwarf. “Thank you.”
The dwarf examined Georgius’s hand through his magnifying glass and then shook it. “Most welcome. I’m Tinkerbeard, by the by. Need any gadgets?” Two flaps extended from his arms, displaying a wide variety of devices. I was sure one of them was an old-style TV until I realized it lacked a screen.
“Not right now,” Georgius said. “Sorry, but we’re kind of in a hurry.”
Tinkerbeard snapped his fingers and the flaps folded up. “If ye change yer mind, ye can find me in that house. Open all hours and currently taking commissions.” He scurried away when Fistbeard stuck his head back out.
“Fer some reason, me quest hasn’t been completed,” Fistbeard said. “Don’t make me come back out there, ye dandy.”
I took the hint and walked away. The rest of the group followed, with Georgius slowly backpedaling at the rear to keep an eye on the surly Monk. We eventually reached five hundred feet and the first quest completed again, refilling the spot on the map. As I looked closer, I could see the lock icon I’d missed before.
“So now that that’s over with, will your group do it?” Georgius asked.
“You better not be abandoning me again.” Yary scowled at Georgius.
“I’ll be back in a day. Two, tops. Duty calls.”
Yary stared daggers at him. “But you owe me!”
“It would probably be best if she didn’t join us anyway,” Olaf said. “Even though she’s a few levels above us, the Golden Hole is still a very dangerous place for her. We would not even be attempting to go there if we did not absolutely need to.”
Yary’s eyes lit up. “Ohhhh. This Golden Hole place seems just like where I need to be. I’m in.”
Alizia squealed. “Then it’s settled, right?”
“Olaf?” I asked.
“You are the leader. What you say goes.”
“I’m not the leader,” I said in a message to Olaf. “You are. You’re the levelheaded one. The one who thinks the most clearly and decisively in dangerous situations. You saw what happened back with the Shadow. I screwed up repeatedly.”
“As did I,” Olaf replied. “I failed to take out the healer, like we talked about. I am good at my class because that is all I think about. When I try to think about what Alizia or you should be doing, I forget what it is I am supposed to be doing. You are much too hard on yourself. That was a fight I do not think we could have won had Georgius not shown up.”
There was more I wanted to say, but Georgius didn’t look like he could wait anymore. “We’ll talk about this later,” I replied to Olaf.
Olaf nodded, and I turned to Georgius. “You have been a huge help, sir. We would have fought all the way to that gate only to have to come back. In conclusion, yes, we would be happy to take your sister with us.”
“Woo-hoo!” Alizia slapped Yary on the back, almost knocking her down. “We’re a four-person band again. I’m gonna call you the new Deccy!”
“Alizia!” Olaf said. “That is not appropriate. Please do not mention that name again. It is too soon.”
Alizia smiled sweetly. “Right, because this one is fun and not annoying.”
Olaf did not look happy, so I decided to interrupt before Alizia inevitably made it worse. “We only need to get our faction with this town up to get that key. Fortunately, it seems that our new member has already done that to get her new gloves. Correct?”
Yary shook her head. “Says the ‘The Dwarven Fist’ faction.”
“Georgius, would you happen to have that one?”
“Nope, never been here until we started this quest for her. But for any quest that requires a faction to be raised, there’s always other quests in the area to raise it. There also should be a few mob types that’re enemies of the faction and will give gains when you kill them. Ask anyone in town, and they should be more than happy to tell you which ones. That mayor the quest mentions would be a good place to start.”
“Oh, thanks,” I said.
“Now, I hate to run like this, but you don’t want to know what Cedra’s threatening to do to me. I won’t subject you to the particulars like I did my poor sister last time.”
Yary shivered.
He patted her on the shoulder. “This shouldn’t take more than a day. Once I’m done, I’ll send you a message and meet you back here. Sorry to do this again, but pretty soon you’ll be high enough to join me on some of these guild activities . . . and you’ll get to enjoy firsthand the wonderful tapestry of curse words that is my guild leader.”
“Yeah, come back whenever,” Yary said. “I wanna see this Hole place.”
Georgius pressed his ring hard and gave a wave of goodbye. A blue glow exploded from his finger, quickly enveloping the Gladiator. The light show ended with a quick pop, and he was gone.
Alizia guided Yary away from the space. “So, not-new-Deccy, what is your opinion of books?”
“There’s words in them and sometimes pictures,” Yary said.
“Have you ever spent late nights scanning through them to figure out which mobs have the best experience-to-weight ratio and then had naughty thoughts about that book?”
“Why would I do that? Everyone knows that’s kobolds . . . or was it minotaurs? Kobotaurs? Or did they change that?”
“Not-new-Deccy, you’re already more than living up to your name.” Alizia guided Yary toward the sign for the tavern. “Now, I’m going to introduce you to a new drink I’ve invented called the Goblin Sledgehammer. It involves two healing potions, one sledgehammer, and . . .”
Are You Sure You Want to Know What’s Under That Beard?
Alizia slammed her large green f
ists on the bar, knocking two dwarves off their stools. “What do you mean you’re out of healing potions?”
The bartender shrugged and continued wiping the bar. “Ye need moon grass to make ’em, and that stuff don’t grow in our valley. On account of the valley being so hidden, the town don’t get many shipments from the outside world. I’d be surprised if ye found any of those things in the whole town. Now can I get ye an ale? We make the finest in the world. It’ll get ye real drunk.”
“Did he say, ‘no healing potions’?” Alizia turned to me. “I can’t tell with that silly accent. What is it anyway?”
“Scottish,” I said.
“More like a made-up caricature of real Scottish that hackneyed writers invented,” Olaf said.
“Don’t be knowin’ what ‘Scottish’ be,” the barkeep said. “I be speakin’ proper Dwarvish, just like all me clan.”
Alizia summoned a vial with a single drop of healing potion left and shook it out into her mouth.
“If you need a heal, I can help,” Yary said.
Olaf laughed. “She doesn’t need that, miss. Our Alizia has a bit of a problem with healing potions.”
“I do not.” Alizia nodded at the bartender as he pointed at the darkest ale. “Nor do I have any other addictions. ‘Everything in moderation’ is my motto.”
“I think we need to buy you a dictionary,” Olaf said. “I do not think you know what moderation means.”
“Dictionary?” Alizia held up three fingers as the bartender handed her a glass. “You yelled at me for bringing up Deccy and here you go reminding me of her. Why, I think I’m going to have to have a few extra in her memory.” She held up five more fingers.
“You can cancel one of those, Barkeep,” Yary said. “I don’t drink alcohol.”
Alizia stared at her, aghast. “Those were for me. The rest of you are on your own.”
Yary’s jaw dropped.
“Just ignore her,” Olaf said. “We find it best to let her go, so she’ll leave us alone to figure out what to do next. For instance, now we can focus on finding quests to raise our faction. I’d like to get moving before Alizia is too drunk to continue for the day. Georgius said the mayor would be the first place we should look. Do you think he is here?”
I’d no idea what building could house the mayor, so I’d drawn on my experience in other RPGs and suggested we go to the tavern to find that info. It’d been easy to find due to the large sign and it being the only building in town that was not short and squat. The other two occupants of the tavern were so drunk they had passed out. It probably hadn’t helped that Alizia knocked them to the ground with her initial tirade. That left the barkeep.
I waved the bartender over. “Two ales and directions to one mayor, please.”
“Not sure what a ‘directionstoonemayor’ is but we don’t serve any of those fruity elf drinks with the umbrellas in ’em.” He eyed Yary’s pointy ears. “Eh, what I meant was, we only serve the ales and lagers.”
“What my friend means, is that we were wondering if you could tell us where we could find your mayor,” Olaf said. “As I am sure you have already guessed, we are adventurers and are looking for quests to help out this wonderful town of yours. We assumed your mayor would be the person to ask about such quests.”
The bartender began pouring. “Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news.”
Quest: He’s Been Mayornapped!
Description: The mayor of Grimrag has been kidnapped by the savage hylves, one of the many mortal enemies of the dwarves of Grimrag. Since we at Pyrite are all about the wonderful open-ended gaming experience of SSO, we’re not going to tell you that you have to save him or anything, but maybe you could? I mean, you get stuff for it, and it would make your quest log all nice and tidy. Stuff good. Nice and tidy, gooder.
Completion Objective: Bring Mayor Leadbeard safely (aka not dead) back to Grimrag.
Reward: 1,000 XP, 20 gold, +1,000 Reputation to the Town of Grimrag
Alizia clanged two of her glasses together. “Woo-hoo! Now we know what to do for tomorrow. Mission accomplished. That means we can focus on drinking for the rest of the day.”
Olaf pulled her last full glass away. “We should head out now. The less time wasted, the faster we find Clewd.”
Alizia reached for the glass but abruptly stopped. “What’s going on? Have the game gods decided to punish me for taunting them a hundred too many times?”
I wasn’t sure what Alizia was talking about until I tried to lift my glass and my arm moved at half speed like I was already drunk. It took me longer than usual to process what was going on too, but I finally noticed the debuff above my head. “Why do we have Tiredness already? It’s only one o’clock. We should have at least seven more hours.”
“I do not know,” Olaf said. “It has always appeared at roughly the same time every day.”
Everyone eyed the beer.
Yary cleared her throat. “If you don’t get a full night’s rest, it pops up earlier.”
“Ah, good to know,” I said as I put a few coins on the bar. “Let’s finish these and head over to the inn on the other side of the building. Like Alizia said, we already got what we needed done today. Might as well get back on our old schedule. Sorry, Olaf, but the game gods have spoken.”
Alizia slid my coins back toward me. “Oooor we could keep doing what we’re doing, then do some more of it, and then even more of it. Sleep in tomorrow and get up bright and early at noon to go find this mayor fellow. It’s not like he’s going to get any less kidnapped in the meantime.”
The barkeep tried to reach the coins but Alizia easily pulled them out of the reach of his short arms. “Could ye please hurry up and save the mayor? He’s me husband and I miss him greatly.”
Alizia eyed the dwarf’s thick beard skeptically. “How progressive . . . or is it? I haven’t seen any—but there’s no telling what you could have under those goofy beards. So, totally random question, but do you like pink or blue better?”
The bartender’s grin grew wider and wider as Alizia’s discomfort increased. “Ye non-dwarves be so weird. Yes, I be a woman.”
Alizia awkwardly raised her fist. “Yay, sisterhood! Well, seeing as how I’m a sucker for true love and have nothing but respect for your venerable and noble occupation, your plight has moved me, good barkeep. I vow that we will go to bed early on this fine night. Say, midnight?”
Quest: He’s Been Mayornapped!
Description: The mayor of Grimrag has been kidnapped by the savage hylves, one of the many mortal enemies of the dwarves of Grimrag. Since we at Pyrite are all about the wonderful open-ended gaming experience of SSO, we’re not going to tell you that you have to save him or anything, but maybe you could? I mean, you get stuff for it, and it would make your quest log all nice and tidy. Stuff good. Nice and tidy, even gooder.
Completion Objective: Bring Mayor Leadbeard safely (aka not dead) back to Grimrag.
Reward: 1,000 XP, 20 gold, +1,000 Reputation to the Town of Grimrag
Bonus Reward: Complete the quest within two days in time for his anniversary and receive free drinks for one night at the Grimrag Bar & Sleeping Place (domestics only, no top-shelf alcohol included) and an extra +1,000 Reputation to the Town of Grimrag
“The place those savages live in is a couple hours away to the west,” the barkeep said as the location got updated on our maps.
“Do they also give Grimrag faction?” I asked.
“Of course,” the barkeep said. “Those mangy savages be one of the mortal enemies of our town. The other one bein’ them living statue things that still follow that evil but very dead Gerinashu the Beige fellow. They be a nasty bunch though, so I’d recommend ye stick to the hylves and free me husband.”
Alizia dribbled drool into one of the empty glasses as she read the updated quest. “So, to get to this mayor guy we need four hours travel time total, sixteen hours of sleep to compensate for yesterday and eight more for tomorrow night. With two hours total for
meals, that leaves us with only sixteen hours to maul our way through a camp full of baddies. And then, if you add in my normal amount of shenaniganing, getting us lost, and pulling unnecessary mobs . . .” Alizia quickly downed another beer and then slid my money back across the bar along with her own additions. She was halfway across the room before any of us reacted.
“Hurry up. No time to waste,” Alizia stomped her foot when no one moved. “If I don’t get my free beer, you’re making it up out of your own pockets.”
“It is good to see that we are in agreement for once,” Olaf said as he and Yary began to rise.
I remained seated and held up my still half-full glass. “We can afford a few more minutes until I finish this.”
Alizia crossed her arms. “If we don’t finish that quest’s bonus reward, I’m getting my night of drinking, and you’re paying. This time, top-shelf alcohol will be included.”
I nearly cracked my glass as I hastily set it on the bar. We were in the inn’s beds within five minutes.
I’m Gonna Need a Lot More of That Easter Grass
The next morning, Alizia didn’t even give us time to eat breakfast at the inn, instead grabbing a handful of hard rations at a cart while searching for potions. When she stopped at a third cart to ask the same question, I managed to buy a few camping kits (which allowed a person with the Camping skill to set it up so a group could sleep in the wilderness) and sell all of the junk loot we’d acquired.
Fortunately, one of the cart vendors mistook Alizia’s request for potions to mean any type of potions and it took the two of them five minutes to sort out that she meant healing potions. Olaf and I used that time to buy a few equipment upgrades. Though the prices were hugely inflated, we figured we’d need all the help we could get when we got into the Golden Hole. Yary browsed too, but didn’t find anything better than what she had.
These were what I bought.
Item: Thinking Boots