Expedition Newb

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Expedition Newb Page 12

by M Helbig


  Alizia staggered back and managed to get her arms down to block the last two. “Impressive, not-new-Yary, but you missed a spot.” She smacked her fist into her palm, and Yary paused in her assault.

  “Murder groupmates!” Olaf gnashed his teeth in frustration as I managed to keep just out of his reach.

  “Not-new-Yary?” I turned Sprint on to gain some distance. “That didn’t sound like the crazed Alizia who was trying to kill us all, that sounded like the . . . also kind of crazy Alizia who’s mostly on our side in her own special way. Alizia, are you back with us?”

  Alizia twisted to the side to avoid Yary’s blow, grabbed a hold of her, and gave her noogies. “I’d give you one of these too, Horus, but I probably can’t catch you. Yes, I’m with you. Not that I remember leaving you. One minute I’m squishing a tiny thing, the next I’m face first on the ground getting smacked by my new bestest friend. By the way, what exactly is Laffy doing right now?”

  Olaf stomped his feet in frustration and caught Alizia and Yary out of the corner of his eyes. He spun around and rushed them.

  “All right, punchy girl. I’ll let you go as long as you punch Crazy Stache instead. Agreed?”

  Yary mumbled something into Alizia’s arm.

  Alizia pushed Yary toward Olaf. “Great. I promise I’ll be right back as soon as I find Mr. Shield and Mrs. Scepter.”

  Even off balance, Yary still managed to place her strike directly at Olaf’s center. Sadly, Olaf was a lot faster than Alizia. He spun to the side and caught her in the thigh for 43. I tossed a Regrowth on her to undo some of the damage. Before I cast another, I quickly pointed Alizia in the direction where I’d kicked her scepter earlier.

  Olaf leapt on Yary’s side and began stabbing her faster than I’d ever seen him move. If she didn’t start getting in a few hits to help me out on healing, I was sure she wouldn’t last much longer.

  “Yary, use your bracer.”

  Yary stared at her forearms. “I’m already wearing them. Do you want me to take them off?”

  Alizia chuckled. “Slap both of them together like Wonder Woman.”

  When I saw the white light of her bracer’s spell as she tapped it, I switched my Regrowth to Olaf instead. Alizia had come back to our side eventually, and I reasoned Olaf would as well. When he did, I figured he’d appreciate it if we hadn’t killed him. Thirty seconds later, he dropped his dagger and hopped off Yary.

  “What happened?” Olaf asked.

  Alizia hefted her scepter and charged him. “This, you walking mustache of crazy!”

  “Alizia, stop,” I said.

  She activated Sprint and continued barreling toward Olaf.

  “Right, forgot who I was talking to. Alizia, keep going!”

  She stopped immediately, skidding past me. “So, why exactly am I doing this?”

  “Because I am your friend and you shouldn’t hit your friends?” Olaf asked.

  “Agree to disagree.” She turned and banged her scepter on her shield.

  The Overseer scampered out from her hiding place and stopped in between Olaf and Alizia. She raised her hands above her head and wiggled them in the air like a cartoon character.

  Alizia stared down at the tiny hylf and her face spread into a wicked grin. “Old friend, what say you we take our frustrations out on a pathetically tiny mob whose death promises shiny, shiny loots?”

  Olaf picked up his dagger and returned the look. “Now that, my strictly platonic friend, I can agree on.”

  Yary let out a deep sigh. “I vote for that too. Majority rules!”

  “Wait,” I said. “Let me use Inspect first.”

  Hylf Overseer

  Level: 7

  Resists

  Type: Rare

  Light: 0

  Race: Hylf

  Dark: 0

  Faction: none

  Earth: 0

  HP: 250/250

  Water: 0

  MP: 0

  Fire: 0

  AP: 200/200

  Wind: 0

  AC: 20

  Special Attributes: Charming Touch

  Weaknesses: none

  Full HPs? How’s that possible? Together Alizia and Olaf have easily done 250 damage. Probably double that. There’s no mention of any regen on her, so it must be the ability.

  As I continued to stare at Charming Touch, an information window popped up that I wished I’d known about weeks ago.

  Special Attribute: Charming Touch

  AP Cost: 0

  Resist: Earth

  Effect: On successful melee hit, target becomes Charmed for 30 seconds and becomes aggressive to allies. Any damage a target Charmed by this skill does heals you for 25% of damage dealt.

  I breathed a sigh of relief. As long as no one became Charmed again, we’d be safe. Since it only triggered on melee attacks, I instructed my friends to back away. I cast Heat on the Overseer, holding the channeled spell for long enough to start doing damage. When her small speck of hair caught fire, she stopped attacking Alizia and turned to me. I hit her with Root and switched to my bow, targeting her knees. Yary joined in with some sort of throwing daggers soon after. Lacking ranged weapons, Olaf and Alizia just stood there and watched. The two of us slowly whittled the mob down over the next three minutes before she let out one last whimper and dropped.

  You have gained 6,600 Experience Points (6,000 +600 Group Bonus) and a new Level!

  Welcome to Level 9! 6,071/150,000 to next level.

  You have gained 25 Hit Points on leveling! 225/225 HP Total.

  You have gained 14 Magic Points on leveling! 126/126MP Total.

  You have gained 9 Action Points on leveling! 81/81 AP Total.

  You have received +50 Faction with Town of Grimrag! Total: -1,795 Town of Grimrag (Hated).

  Alizia has looted Hylf Overseer.

  You have received 3 gold and 4 silver as your share of the loot (out of 17 gold).

  As group leader, Horus has been granted the loot: Cracked Garnet Ring, Hat of Overseeing.

  Cracked Garnet Ring

  Slot: Finger

  Rarity: Common

  Bonus: +3 DEX +1 END

  Weight: 0 Pebbles

  Description: The crack makes it more aerodynamic, which in turn makes you faster. Trust us on this one.

  Hat of Overseeing

  Slot: Head

  Rarity: Unusual

  AC: 5

  Bonus: +3 INT + 3 WIS

  Special Abilities: Telescopic Sight

  Weight: 5 Pebbles

  Description: It gives you that extra aura of authority to help you oversee and see over things.

  Alizia let out a squeal. “I want in on both of those.”

  “None of those stats are useful for your class,” Olaf said. “And you can’t even claim these ones for their Charisma in your made-up Bard class either. Did you even look at the items, or do you just want everything?”

  Alizia’s eyes glazed over like she was staring at the interface. “Huh. So, you can look at the stats before you take them. Good to know. Telescopic Sight! I could see stuff from further away to pull. Totally in on that one. You punchy, stabby people can have that crummy ring, though.”

  “I would like the ring,” Olaf said. “It would be perfect for my class. I would assume Yary would as well. And in no way are we letting you have anything that helps you pull more.”

  “No sense of adventure, Laffy.” Alizia rubbed her hands together. “Thankfully, you’re not the one who makes those decisions. Horus, my new hat, please.”

  I summoned the hat from my bag and looked it over. It appeared to be a perfect fit for my head but much too small for Alizia’s giant-sized one, and also way too big to fit on the six-inch-tall Overseer that it’d come from. I figured that fact wouldn’t prevent Alizia from wearing it comfortably, however, since like most items it would automatically adjust to fit her. I was sure that even the gyroscopic lens attached would probably enlarge to fit her bigger eyes.

  As the only member of a class wit
h casting ability, I’d be the most helped by the stats, even though I was trying to go back to a more DPs-oriented role. Alizia had no need of any INT or WIS, and Olaf was definitely right that we did not want her to be able to see things from farther away. Unfortunately, we had rules for just this situation which I’d agreed to. “I’m in for the hat, which makes me out for the ring.”

  “I know you don’t keep some make-believe spreadsheet like Deccy did, so we settle this with the dice.” She summoned two one hundred-sided dice and handed one to me. Mine flopped over on a six. I didn’t even look at hers because the curse of Olaf and her “woot” of joy told me all I needed to know.

  The INT and WIS would’ve really helped with the amount of casting I’d ended up doing lately. My Woodsman trainer’s warning that I’d end up using a lot of spells even if I wasn’t healing had turned out correct. It was then I remembered that I had two unused points from leveling and split them between INT and WIS to make up for losing out on the hat.

  “Ridiculous,” Olaf said. “You already have a good head item. I am thinking we should amend the group rules.”

  Alizia took her multi-colored headdress off, set the new hat on her head, and then attempted to put the headdress on over it. “What the heck? The straps of my headdress are clearly big enough to go around this tight cap. Why can’t I wear both?”

  “There is only one head slot obviously,” Olaf said. “Unless you grow another head, that is.”

  “Ewww, then I’d have to do my hair and makeup twice every morning. Though it’d be nice to have two different cute haircuts at once—but no. That’d take like half the day, giving me half as much time to regale you all with feats of my cuteness. Speaking of which, this new thing is all boring and doesn’t look anything like a crown.” Alizia pulled the new hat off her head and tossed it at me.

  Olaf clapped. “Congratulations, Horus. Now can we roll for the ring?”

  I picked up the dice and handed one to him and the other to Yary. Yary shook her head. “I’m only here for the fun. Besides, my rings are better.”

  I placed the ring in Olaf’s hand. “Congratulations.”

  Alizia smirked as she massaged the feathers in her headdress. “Grats, Laffy. Now, if my calculations are correct, we still have to kill like ten more of those fellows before the new husband of that grumpy bartender will let us have that key you need for . . . something. What did we need that thing for again?”

  “To get in the dungeon, where we’ll find Clewd who can tell us where Olaf’s son is,” I said. “And it’s closer to a thousand hylves to get our faction up enough to get that key.”

  Alizia began counting on her fingers. “Crap. At the rate we’re going, that’ll take all day.”

  I pointed toward my best guess where the center of the village was. “It’ll definitely take several days, maybe even weeks.”

  Alizia pulled off her shoe and began counting her toes. “I’m gonna need extra limbs to count that high, aren’t I?”

  I pointed more emphatically. “The longer we waste, the longer this’ll take.”

  Alizia tied her shoe back on in record time and ran forward. “I love it when you let me pull, Captain O’ Mine!”

  As soon as she was around the corner out of view, Olaf tapped me on the side. “Shouldn’t I have scouted it out first? With her, she is likely to bring the whole village.”

  I grinned. “I popped Tracking up first and there’s only three of them nearby. Figured we’d allow her think we were letting her loose to make her happy.”

  “Wowie,” Yary said. “That’s really clever. No wonder you’re the leader.”

  I turned and growled at Olaf. “Yeah, it’s great being in charge.”

  Olaf met my gaze. “Does not your Tracking have a limited range? What if there are more outside of it and she pulls those? She is heading into the heart of their village, after all.”

  I activated Sprint. Almost as soon as I hit the corner, I knew how bad I had messed up.

  That Gosh Dern Mob Ate Ma Quest!

  The first hylf spun around as soon as I came into view and charged me. I was so surprised that I forgot to turn off Sprint and barreled into him. Fortunately, Olaf had a better presence of mind and caught our opponent in the neck twice before he could manage to stand back up. Alizia hit the hylf with Shout just after that, but with Olaf’s huge hits of 112! and 137!, it wasn’t enough to draw it onto her. Yary’s steady, small heals as she joined in, combined with a tap of her bracer, were more than enough to keep Olaf up as they whittled it down. By the time I managed to recover and take stock of the situation, they’d already finished it off.

  Once that was over, I realized that Tracking had lied to me. There were only three hylves in that pack if you counted the now dead one. I decided to leave that mystery for later and focus on the danger at hand. Olaf had just tapped Yary’s bracer to heal himself and Alizia’s HPs were steadily going down. I cast a Regrowth on her as Yary landed her first hit, and then summoned my bow. This hylf, titled a “Berserker,” hit twice as hard and fast as anything we’d seen in the village so far, but with our whole group on him, he fell in under a minute.

  “Sorry about that,” Alizia said. “I must be losing my touch in my old age. Only two of them. Swore I had more. Maybe I should’ve kept that hat with its fancy monocle.”

  I flipped Tracking back up. “There were three of them when you left, and Tracking showed them close together.” The missing hylf was easy to find, as it was the only thing besides our group on there. I selected it and a bright red arrow popped up, pointing to our left. As soon as I took my first step forward, it disappeared. I flipped the interface open again.

  “Trying to invent a new dance, Leader Boy?” Alizia asked. “I don’t think one step really qualifies as a dance.”

  “It’s gone,” I said. “The arrow pointed that way for a split second and disappeared.”

  “Is your skill broken or are you?”

  I glared at her. “Neither. That means it either moved out of range, went invisible or died.”

  “Oooh. A mystery. Only one way to solve mysteries. Charge!” I wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad thing that she actually ran the right way.

  “Why is that her solution to everything?” Olaf ran after her.

  “At least she’s consistent.” I motioned to Yary and we reluctantly followed.

  While keeping one eye on where we were going, I continually refreshed my Tracking list to make sure nothing new appeared. I was quite surprised when a few minutes later it was still empty. The only clues to the cause were the occasional bits of smashed and trampled items we passed by. Though as I thought back to our previous trip, they weren’t anything new. The streaks of blood we saw not long after, however, had not been there. The pit of my stomach dropped a second before the first new entry appeared on my Tracking list.

  Alizia called what it was before I could pant it out. “Giant Jackalope sighted on the starboard, Captain! We have ourselves a Hippity . . . maybe.”

  Olaf strained to catch her. “Alizia, if you are not sure it is Hippity, should you not stop running toward her?”

  “No one ever discovered anything important by being cautious, Laffy.”

  “That cannot possibly be true.”

  “Don’t worry. It’s Hippity,” I said.

  “Thank goodness,” Olaf said.

  “Maybe. Maybe not,” I said a second before the giant, purple jackalope appeared.

  As I suspected, Hippity was the source of the trail of blood. The legs of an unfortunate hylf dangled from her huge mouth. Darpel hopped up and down under the legs trying to reach them. Laniel jogged into view and looted the only other corpse in the area to make it fade away. With the amount of blood strewn about and no other corpses, I figured they must have looted at least twenty of them already. Tracking still showed no other hylves nearby even though we had to be very close to the center of their village. The pit of my stomach dropped again.

  The sentiment of Laniel’s friendly
wave was somewhat undercut by the blood dripping from her hands. Her three pet jackalopes hopped between us protectively. All of them had grown considerably, being now the size of large dogs. Alizia jumped back when two of them revealed their second row of razor-sharp teeth as she attempted to pet them.

  “Manfred, Lucky, Barry, be nice,” Laniel said. “They’re friends.”

  The three smaller jackalopes backed off, but continued to glare at us as Laniel moved forward to greet us. Hippity spit the remainder of the hylf out, taking Darpel to the ground. Olaf rushed over to pull it off, but Darpel looted it to make it disappear. He stood up and brushed himself off, accomplishing nothing as the blood continued to coat every inch of his body.

  I decided against attempting to shake Laniel’s equally bloody hands and waved at her instead. “I thought you were going to wait to tame a few more jackalopes and level them up.”

  “That was my plan, but then that dwarf we bought supplies from told us how weak the village would be without their queen,” Laniel said. “I decided to do a test run with a few of the packs on the outskirts. Then Hippity got a little carried away.”

  “We were just in the dwarf town too,” I said. “Wonder how we missed you.”

  “Actually, one of the dwarves came to us on some sort of mechanical wagon,” Laniel said. “Told us he’d heard about our fight against the town’s mutual enemy and wanted to help out, though he probably only wanted to make some coins.”

  “Do you think it was Lagereyes or Tinkerbeard trying to prevent us from getting the faction we need?” Olaf asked.

  “It’s possible, but we’ve got more immediate concerns,” I said. “Maybe there’s still enough hylves left to get our faction up?”

  Laniel bit her lip. “Hippity did get pretty carried away.”

  Darpel hugged his giant jackalope. “When Hippity gets a taste for things, she can’t stop. Just like her brilliant master with chocolates. Yes, she does. Yes, she dooooes.”

 

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