by Jacqui Rose
Back in his office in London, defence barrister Alan Day slowly put down the phone as the line went dead. He had a bad feeling. A very bad feeling indeed.
8
‘I wasn’t expecting you to finish so early … you all right, babe? You look tired. Do you want me to run you a bath, darlin’?’ Claudia looked on edge but smiled as Bunny walked into the white and gold front room of the luxury apartment Bunny owned, but shared with Del on the west side of Soho. Bunny smiled weakly back, ignoring the question put to her. ‘What have you got there, Claudia?’
‘Where?’
Bunny looked bemused as Claudia shuffled awkwardly in front of the table. Of all the things Claudia was, it usually wasn’t secretive. ‘Behind your back. What’s on the table, Claud?’
‘Nothing.’
Bunny chuckled a little too loudly for it to sound natural. ‘Claudia, it ain’t nothing if I can see there’s something there. What’s behind your back, babe?’ Bunny began to walk towards Claudia who turned towards the table and began quickly scooping up the contents of the box she’d tipped out.
‘Claudia! What’s going on? This ain’t like you.’
Claudia shot round to face Bunny. Her face was red as she clutched hold of the shoe box against her breasts. ‘And it ain’t like you neither, Bun. Can’t I have a bit of privacy without every Tom and Dick wanting to know what I’m doing? Is that too much to ask for? Or do I need to take me arse out of here to get some cop eye for meself?’
Bunny looked shocked. She’d never seen Claudia react this way. Well, not to her at least. She’d seen her fist down men taller and stronger than her, she’d seen her argue until the cows came home with Del and she’d always seen Claudia jump to her defence as if her life depended on it, but never had Bunny seen Claudia’s formidable presence turn on her. Apologetically, Bunny spoke.
‘I … I don’t know what to say.’
‘Well don’t say flippin’ nothing then. Okay? Keep yer nose out.’
The moment Claudia said it, she wished she hadn’t. She saw the hurt in Bunny’s face as she turned to walk out.
‘Bunny, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it … Bronwin, please.’
Bunny turned to look at Claudia, her face tense.
‘Don’t call me that. I told you never to call me that.’
‘Call you what?’ Del entered the room, overhearing the last part of the conversation between the two women. His voice was loud and cheerful, startling both women.
Bunny glanced at Claudia nervously, then gave a smile to Del. ‘Nothing. It’s fine.’
Del grinned, relieved. The last thing he really wanted was to have his ear chewed off hearing about women’s squabbles. He rubbed his hands together eagerly. ‘Well in that case, who’s up for a spot of lunch at The Ivy?’
Claudia picked up her shoe box and marched towards the door, pushing past Del. ‘Not me.’
‘Nor me.’ Bunny turned and exited, leaving Del on his own wondering if there was ever going to be a time when he’d understand what went on in women’s heads.
‘I had the dreams again.’ Bunny sat in the large white chair opposite the door, wringing her hands.
The place Bunny sat in was a tiny nondescript room with paint peeling off the wall, above a shop on the north side of Victoria Station, but it was one Bunny cherished coming to. It was away from everywhere. A room where nobody knew her or could find her, and it was this room she visited each week.
The one other person sitting in the room was a small hunchback grey-haired woman, dressed in unsuitable clothes for the heat of the summertime. Her black cardigan was buttoned up to the top and she wore a high roll-neck top underneath. She smiled at Bunny sympathetically as she looked over her glasses with a penetrating stare. ‘Do you want to tell me about them, Bunny?’
‘It’s the same dream.’
‘The one where you see him, the man from the woods?’
Bunny nodded, unable to hold eye contact with the woman, fearing she might cry.
‘Have you told Del about the dreams yet?’
Bunny shook her head. ‘No, not really. Not properly anyway.’
‘I think you should. I’m sure he’ll understand.’
Bunny looked down, noticing a line of ants crawling along the skirting boards. ‘Maybe, but …’
The woman pushed Bunny a little harder. ‘Don’t you want to? Is it because you don’t trust him?’
‘I do, but …’ Bunny paused, not wanting to talk any longer, even though that was the reason why she was here.
‘Go on Bunny.’
‘How would I explain to him? I’m a grown woman, I shouldn’t be scared of dreams. It’s stupid.’
‘Then why do you come here?’
Bunny shrugged, but didn’t answer. The woman continued to talk in a soft and comforting manner. ‘What made the dreams come back do you think?’
‘The kid. The missing kid from Camden.’
‘Julie Cole?’
‘Yes.’
‘Tell me what you see, Bunny. It might help.’
Bunny’s blue eyes glazed over as she looked down. Her body became tense and she could feel her breathing becoming shallow as she began to talk, falling into the darkness of her own mind.
‘It’s cold and I’m wearing my dress. Brown dress, horrible thing.’ Bunny gave a wry smile then continued. ‘I don’t have a jacket. Lost it or thrown it. It’s dark and I can’t see nothin’, but I can smell everything. It’s been raining and the leaves are really wet. I can smell the damp and the moss of the trees. I can feel my tights are damp because I’m kneeling down. And then I hear her calling. It’s from a distance at first, but because I don’t say nothing, I make her come to me. She’s looking for me. Calling my name over and over again. I should’ve gone. I should’ve gone when she called me …’
Bunny stopped, unable to carry on, her eyes full of tears.
‘Carry on, Bunny. Try to stick to telling me about the dream.’
‘I can hear her calling my name as if she’s right next to me, but I don’t move. I stay perfectly still. I want to laugh but I know she’ll hear me. And then I hear another sound coming from behind me. Other footsteps. Snapping at the twigs and crunching the leaves on the ground. The moonlight suddenly comes between the trees and I can see me breath in the darkness and just as I’m going to get up I see them. I want to call out to her for her to stop, to go back ’cos I know there’s something wrong. But I don’t. I can’t because then they’ll know I’m there. I’m looking through the bracken of where I’m hiding and I can see her face, she’s still looking and she thinks it’s me. She turns round and I catch the fear in her eyes. And then I feel something warm on my face and I know it’s blood. Tiny splatters of her blood. I hear a gurgling sound and it’s her throat being cut. I look directly at them, wanting to see them, but it’s like they’ve got no faces. I can’t remember their faces no matter how hard I try. Then I see her. She’s just in front of me, lying on the ground. I can almost touch her. She’s only a few centimetres away. So still. I see some of her hair has caught on the bracken so I stretch me fingers out to stroke it. I want to stroke it, to make her know it’s all right that I’m there. But it’s too late, she’s gone. And then even though it’s cold and I’m afraid, I stay with her ’cos she pretends not be afraid of the dark, but she is and I know she don’t like to be alone. I can’t sleep, but it looks like she’s asleep, so I just stay huddled up till the sun rises and she don’t move and neither do I. Just me and her.’
Looking up, wide eyed, Bunny stared at the woman. ‘I’m sorry, I’ve got to go, I can’t do this.’ Without waiting for a reply, Bunny grabbed her bag, running out of the door as she listened to the cries of the woman calling her back.
Bunny walked home slowly. She felt drained. Exhausted. And even putting one foot in front of the other seemed a huge effort. The memories of her childhood had reopened painful wounds.
She had once had dreams like her daughter Star. She had once believed that she could d
o anything. But she knew the debilitating shadow of her childhood had a lot to do with why she couldn’t leave what she did behind. She certainly knew her past was why she couldn’t allow herself to trust anyone, not even Del.
Being a hooker enabled her to give Star the things she’d never had. But it also allowed her to step slightly aside from the rest of society. She could hide away but still keep on living.
Though she wanted a lot more for Star. And for Star, Bunny would do anything. She’d keep on fighting to be a stronger. To be a better person. For Star, she needed to conquer her demons, so her child wasn’t burdened with her ghosts from the past.
9
‘What the fuck is that supposed to mean?’ Teddy Davies’ face twisted in rage as he stared at the small-time Soho dealer on the dusty floor of the walk-up.
‘I’m here to collect my money.’
‘I … I haven’t got it.’
Teddy squatted down to where the man was sitting. ‘My money. My drugs. I want them now.’
‘I can’t … he said I wasn’t to give you any more.’
Teddy craned his ear towards the man. ‘What did you say?’
‘I said I can’t give it to you.’
Teddy stood up, slapping the man hard round his head. He had a feeling he wasn’t going to like what he was about to hear. ‘Talk then, I’m listening.’
‘It’s Del. Del Williams.’
Teddy spoke slowly. ‘What about Del?’
‘He’s put word round we’re not to pay you anymore. He’s told all of us if we get any trouble from you just to contact him and he’ll sort it – but on the condition we give you nothin’ or say nothin’, otherwise he’ll do worse than the people you know will ever do.’
Teddy stood up and stared at the man on the floor. There was no reason for the man to lie to him. But what he was hearing was unbelievable. He put his fist in his mouth, chewing down on his skin. Who the fuck did Del Williams think he was? He was not only trying to mug him off out of the picture with the Russians, he was trying to cut him out completely with everything. This was his patch. Not Del’s. He was the one who’d seen it grow into what it’d become and now the likes of the flash Del Williams wanted to take it away from him. Well that wasn’t going to happen. Not now. Not ever.
He needed to do something, and fast.
Teddy turned to the constable standing next to him. ‘Cuff him.’
‘What?’
‘I said cuff him.’
‘On what charge sir?’
Teddy rubbed his head. ‘Intent to supply.’
‘What the hell are you doing?’ The man shouted in protest as the handcuffs went on him. Teddy grinned.
‘I’m doing what all good coppers do; I’m getting scum like you off the street.’
‘I ain’t done nothin’!’
Teddy whispered into the man’s ear. ‘This is my patch, not Del Williams’ patch, and the way I see it, if you want to play on his side then you’re balling me and I don’t like people who ball me, especially skanky toerags like you.’
‘I dunno what you’re talking about. You ain’t got anything on me mate.’
‘No? Well perhaps you’d like to come down the station and explain what this is.’
Taking a large white bag of quiver out of his own pocket, Teddy winked at the constable before placing it into the man’s jacket pocket. He patted it. ‘I reckon you’re looking at least at a five-year lump for that. Take him away.’
‘Don’t think you’re going to get away with this. Once Del finds out what you’ve done, you’re a dead man.’
Teddy Davies yawned. ‘Yeah, yeah. Save the movie line. Do you really think Williams gives a shit about the likes of you? Face it mate, you’re well and truly stitched the fuck up.’
The moment they were gone, Teddy’s face dropped. He couldn’t believe Del was so blatantly making a public fool out of him. Telling the dealers not to pay him, like he was worth nothing. He’d helped to make Del who he was today and, just as he’d done that, he would now help to destroy him. And Teddy Davies knew exactly who could help him to do it.
10
A naked body has been found in Regents Park Canal. It is believed to be that of missing eight-year-old schoolgirl, Julie Cole. No official statement has been made, but a police source tells LBC radio that an initial post-mortem examination shows she died from strangulation. It is also believed Julie had been sexually abused.
Bunny sat on the edge of her deep sunk porcelain bath. Her whole body was tense as she listened to the radio. Her head began to swim and the old familiar fear gripped her stomach.
‘You look like you’ve seen a ghost, babe.’
Bunny looked up. It was Del. She smiled, pleased to see him.
‘They’ve just said on the radio that kid, Julie Cole that went missing: she’s dead.’
‘I dunno why you listen to that shit, ain’t nothing but misery and you know what you’re like, Bun, anything to do with animals or kids and you’re all over the place. Anyhow, forget that, I’ve got something that will put a smile on your boat. Someone’s got something they want to show you.’
Del stood in the bathroom doorway and looked behind him. A moment later a little girl appeared, carrying a beautiful smile and a painting in her hand.
‘Look Mummy, I did it at school.’
Bunny’s sad eyes lit up as Star stood proudly, holding up the painting she’d done.
‘Well come here then, let’s have a proper butcher’s.’
Star skipped to Bunny, her long blonde hair – identical to her mother’s – flowing down her back. Her freckled button nose crinkled slightly as she laughed, delighting in the pleasure Bunny showed at her picture.
‘Do you like it then? The teacher said she wanted to put it on the wall, but I told her she ain’t going to do that, ’cos I wanted to bring it home to you and if she’s got a problem with that she needs to speak to me dad.’
Bunny laughed loudly at her daughter’s boldness. ‘I think it’s wonderful, babe. Who’s this though, darling?’ Bunny pointed to the indistinguishable mass of colours.
Star frowned at her mother as if she was crazy. ‘That’s you and that’s Daddy of course, on an adventure. You’re trying to get away from pirates.’
‘You and your adventures. Couldn’t you have drawn me in the beauty salon? I’m not sure if I want to go to sea.’
Star laughed with her mother. ‘Nah, that would be boring. Who wants to get their nails painted when you could go exploring? That’s what I’m going to be when I grow up. An explorer.’
Bunny looked at Del and laughed again. Star was certainly her father’s daughter. Strong, wilful – yet she could charm any adult or child alike.
Even after seven years she still had to pinch herself at how everything had turned out, because Bunny knew only too well how it could’ve been.
She’d been a hooker since she’d left care and had always known how to look after herself, especially when it came to her health. She wasn’t like the other girls, who for an extra twenty quid would do it bareback. Condom or do one. That was her motto and she religiously lived by it. That was, until she met Del.
She’d known who he was. Everyone knew who he was, he’d made it his business for everyone to know. And it was for this reason Bunny had stayed well clear of him, refusing to flit around him like the other girls did when she saw him in the clubs, flashing his money about and ordering bottles of Cristal champagne for everybody, giving it the big ’un.
The night she’d met him, business had been slow. She’d been touting on the corner of Greek Street for over two hours without a sniff of a punter when he’d pulled up in his grey Lamborghini. She hadn’t been impressed and had seen him as she always had done before: flash and tacky. Still, that said, a punter was a punter.
To her surprise he hadn’t wanted her to give him a blow job round the back of Soho Square – he’d told her later he’d been watching her for some time and had tried to think of ways for her to see him as mo
re than just a punter. He’d taken her to Lola’s Cafe on Bateman Street, where he’d bought her a cup of tea and a fried egg sandwich to warm her up. They’d talked for hours. About his business. About Edith. About everything. At first she’d watched the clock, working out how much money he’d have to give her at the end of the night, but soon she’d found herself forgetting about the time and had just enjoyed his company.
When they’d finished talking, he’d offered her a grand, pulling a bundle of fifty-pound notes out of his trouser pocket, but for some reason she hadn’t been able to take it and had walked away, annoyed at herself, but also intrigued that for the first time in her life she felt something other than indifference.
The next night he’d picked her up again, this time spending the evening sitting in his car talking and eating chips. When he’d dropped her off back at the bedsit she shared with one of the other street girls he’d again offered her money, but again she’d refused.
The following evening she’d half expected to see him again and had found herself surprisingly disappointed when she hadn’t seen his car drive slowly down the road. Trying to put him out of her head she’d turned two tricks and had been on her knees in the car park of Brewer Street, about to give a blow job to a South American punter, when the punter had been thrown across the bonnet of the nearby car with his trousers round his ankles and his penis standing to attention.
At first Bunny had thought they were being mugged, but when she’d turned around she’d seen Del, his face chiselled in fury, his fists battering the teeth out of the terrified man.
She and Del had spent that night together and it had also been that night that Star had been conceived. They’d been together ever since. Finding out she was pregnant had frightened the life out of Bunny. She’d never planned on having children; she was too worried about bringing an innocent child into the world, but mainly unsure if she could give a child a better start in life than she’d had.
She hadn’t told Del, he’d guessed – or rather he’d looked in her bag and found the leaflets on abortion. Even though she was a hooker, he’d ranted and raved, jealous and hurt she’d been with someone else, not understanding she was pregnant with his baby. When she’d told him it was his, instead of him insisting she get rid of it, to her amazement, he’d begged her to keep the baby. And she’d liked the feeling; the feeling of someone wanting her, someone seeing her as more than just a fuck in the alleyway. But mostly she’d liked the feeling of him believing in her. Believing she could love and care for a child.