by Jacqui Rose
‘What the …?’ Del sat at his desk staring at Claudia, his phone call interrupted by the intrusion. ‘Listen, something’s just come up. Can I call you back?’ Del slammed down his mobile, glaring at Claudia. ‘What the hell do you think you’re doing barging in here?’
‘You mustn’t have anything more to do with him.’
‘What? … What the hell are you talking about?’
Claudia stammered, her thoughts running faster than her unplanned speech. ‘That man … Alan Day. You can’t have anything to do with him.’
Del looked at Claudia as if she were mad. His shock at her bursting into his office was replaced by anger. ‘Who the fuck do you think you are, coming in here and talking shit? Get out! Get out of my fucking house.’
Claudia stood her ground, even though her voice was trembling and tears were streaming down her cheeks. ‘This ain’t your house. It’s Bunny’s – and besides, I ain’t going anywhere until you listen to me.’
Already in a foul mood, Del spoke through gritted teeth.
‘I don’t care whose fucking house it is. Whilst she’s in hospital, I’m in charge. Now get out of this house before I physically remove you.’
Del moved towards her, but was stopped by another outburst by Claudia. ‘That man, Alan Day, got my daughter’s killers off.’
Del was taken aback but his anger was still present.
‘Well I’m sorry to hear that, I really am, but what the fuck has that to do with me?’
Claudia shouted back, ‘It’s got everything to do with you.’
‘Listen darlin’. You’re not making sense. I’m trying to keep my patience here but you’re pushing it. Say what you have to say, then get out.’
‘It is to do with you!’
Del looked bewildered. Voice raised, he said, ‘What the frig are you talking about, woman? How is this to do with me?’
‘Because Bronwin’s my daughter.’
Del looked baffled as he yelled back at Claudia, ‘Who? Who the fuck is Bronwin?’
‘Bronwin is Bunny. Bunny’s my daughter.’
Claudia walked over, throwing the old newspaper clippings down on Del’s desk. As he looked at the headlines he reeled in horror. Suspected Child Killers Walk Free. She slammed down the copy of Star’s passport papers, followed by the document she’d signed all those years ago when she’d been forced to give up Bunny in the hospital. The two signatures, one faded, one newly written, were identical. Alan Henry Day.
Del looked up at Claudia’s face, then down to what lay on his desk, then up once more to Claudia. He crushed the papers in his hand. Shaking with rage, he bellowed, ‘Get out! Get of my fucking house!’
* * *
It was dark and Claudia sat beside Bunny, who was sleeping. The nurses’ work-station lamp glowed, giving a dim light to the private side room. Claudia shook her head as her eyes dropped closed. She was tired. It was hot, and the chair was comfortable; a sure way of putting her to sleep.
But just as she was about to drift off, Bunny opened her eyes. Claudia smiled. ‘Hey baby. I hope I didn’t wake you? I was just trying to shake me bones from falling to kip.’
‘You look tired.’
Before Claudia could answer, Del charged into the intensive care unit and marched towards Bunny and Claudia. ‘Well, this is cosy. Mother and daughter.’
Bunny looked shocked and glanced at Claudia.
‘When were you going to tell me, hey? Oh, didn’t she tell you she let it slip?’
Claudia looked down, twisting her hands nervously. ‘I’m sorry, I …’
Bunny continued to stare at Claudia, astounded. Unable to take the scrutiny, Claudia spoke rapidly, desperate to explain herself. ‘The man: Alan. It’s him, Bunny. Alan Day. Del’s lawyer. The lawyer who got them animals off.’
Bunny’s face drained. She picked up the handkerchief given to her by Alan, her fingers touching the blue embroidered initials – AD – as Del continued, furious.
‘I don’t even know who she fucking is anymore.’
‘Don’t talk about her like that. Like she ain’t here.’
Del sneered at Claudia. ‘It’s a bit late now to play the caring mother card.’
Claudia visibly recoiled. ‘She’s still the same person.’
‘How is she? Her name’s Bronwin. Not Bunny. Bronwin. How does that make her the same person?’
‘Didn’t it ever cross your mind she had a proper name? No one’s actually called Bunny.’
Del raised his voice slightly. ‘In her passport, her name says, Bunny. Bunny Barker.’
‘In your passport – or should I say passports – it has a variety of different names, depending who you need to be that day.’
‘That’s different, and you know it is.’
‘So is this. You should’ve asked her.’
‘So now it’s my fault for not asking. I’m the one who’s been mugged off here.’
Claudia snapped. ‘Don’t be so stupid. This was never about you, Del.’
‘Really? For the past eight years or so me missus has lied to me and so have you, then you have the front to say it’s not about me?’
Claudia tried to appeal to Del. ‘It wasn’t a lie.’
‘What would you call it?’
Claudia shrugged her shoulders. ‘I dunno … anyway, you can talk. You’ve got a wife over in Spain who doesn’t know the half of it.’
‘Not the same.’
Claudia’s voice was full of sarcasm. ‘Sure it isn’t.’
‘Alan Day was one of the men in the woods.’
Both Del and Claudia turned to look at Bunny, who’d they’d partly forgotten about amidst their squabbling. It was Del who spoke, his tone hard.
‘What?’
Bunny mumbled, ‘His shoes. His shiny shoes.’
Del shook his head. He didn’t know what the fuck Bunny was on or what she was talking about, but he didn’t want to.
‘This is doing my nut in. I’m going home to sort out Star. I’ve got to pack for tomorrow.’
Claudia spoke up. ‘Do you want me to help?’
Del swivelled round. ‘You stay away. You stay away from me and stay away from my daughter.’
As quickly as Del had charged in, he left. Claudia blinked away the tears. The sense of being a source of constant disappointment to Bunny began to overwhelm her.
Picking up her carrier bag, her deep feeling of shame didn’t allow her to look at Bunny as she spoke. ‘I’m going to go home now, but I’ll see you tomorrow.’
Claudia hurried towards the exit, wanting to get out of the room before her emotions got the better of her. As she went to push open the door, Claudia heard Bunny whisper the word she’d hadn’t heard for so many years.
‘Mum … Wait.’
The tears distorted Claudia’s ability to see properly, but she nodded her head as Bunny stretched out her hand for Claudia to take.
Wiping her eyes, Claudia walked over to Bunny and reached into her carrier bag. ‘I brought something for you, but I didn’t know whether to give it to you or not. But here you go …’
Within a second of seeing what Claudia had for her, Bunny’s face crumpled. She brought up her hand – the thin drip line attached to it – and covered her face. She sobbed, deep and hard.
Eventually her crying stopped, and Bunny gazed at Claudia. She smiled, her voice choking back more tears.
‘Mr Hinkles.’ It was her childhood teddy bear. ‘Where did you get him from?’
‘I’ve always had him. I kept everything I could of yours. Remember when you first found me after you ran away from those people? I think you’d just turned sixteen?’
‘Sort of.’
‘Well, don’t you remember you wanted to throw him away? Said he was for babies.’
Bunny gave a tiny smile as she looked at a very tatty Mr Hinkles. ‘No, I’d forgotten all about him. But you kept him.’
‘You’re not angry with me?’
Bunny grabbed Claudia’s hand. ‘No, Mum.
I never was.’
‘I don’t deserve you, Bunny.’
‘Bronwin. It’s okay, you can call me Bronwin.’
Claudia collapsed on the chair. ‘I know we never talk about what happened all those years ago, but they told me it was for the best. They said you’d be better off with them. That’s why I signed the papers. They didn’t really give me a choice.’
Bunny spoke gently to Claudia. ‘I know they did, Mum. I know. They lied to you and they lied to me.’
Claudia’s voice was edged with panic again. ‘If I’d known they weren’t going to let me see you I would never have agreed, I swear. But you were okay though, weren’t you, Bron? Tell me you were okay.’
Bunny stared at her mother. The woman she always called Claudia. She saw her eyes, frantic, desperate for reassurance. Desperate to be able to sleep at night, to know that the choice she made all those years ago when she was really only a kid herself, had been the right one.
Bunny knew her mum would be unable to take the truth of what had really happened to her within the countless care and foster homes, so she smiled. The feigned smile she gave to her punters and some of her foster carers; the same feigned smile she’d given to Alan Day when he and his friends had visited her time after time at the children’s home run by Dr Berry, forcing her to do things she wouldn’t allow herself to remember.
‘Yes, Mum. I was fine. Everything was fine.’
‘Really? You ain’t just saying that, Bunny, ’cos I know what those places can be like? I told you what happened to me when I was a kid in them and the idea that stuff like that …’
‘Mum. It was fine.’ Bunny smiled sadly, knowing it had been far from fine.
40
‘Now remember, Star, no wandering off.’ It was Star that spoke these words as she stood at the hospital bedside, imitating her mum. Bunny laughed, feeling a slight pain in her side as she did so.
‘I’m not that bad, am I Star?’
Star nodded her head vigorously. ‘Yes!’
‘Well at least you’re taking notice of me.’
Star’s face turned serious. ‘You will be all right with me and Dad gone, won’t you?’
Bunny took in her daughter’s face. The idea of her daughter going away hurt more than any bullet wound, but it was for the best. All that mattered was that Star was safe. Happy and safe.
‘I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me. Not only have I got the doctors to look after me, I’ve got Claudia.’
‘And the baby? Will Claudia look after the baby in your tummy as well?’
Bunny nodded, twinkles of love shining from her eyes.
‘Oh yes, Claudia won’t let anything happen to the baby.’
Star shrugged her shoulders, up to her ears in excitement. She was going to miss her mum, but she was so excited about her new adventure she could hardly contain herself.
From her hospital bed, Bunny could see Del lingering outside the door. He didn’t come in or even acknowledge her, but she was grateful he’d brought Star to say goodbye.
‘You better go now; Daddy’s waiting. Come and give me a kiss.’
Star held onto Bunny, who held on just as tightly, making the moment last as long as they could.
‘Now, young lady. You look after yourself won’t you? And look after your dad as well. Call me and tell me all about Spain. I love you, Star.’
‘I love you too, Mummy.’
‘That looks like me, Daddy, don’t it.’ Star Barker-Williams sat next to her Dad in the front seat of his Range Rover. Absent-mindedly, Del glanced across to see what his daughter was talking about, whilst also deciding whether or not to cut up the prick in the Porsche.
‘Mmm? What does, darlin’?’
‘This. Is it me, Daddy?’
‘What, baby?’
Star tutted. ‘You ain’t listening, Dad. Look.’
Slowing down on the Strand to see what Star was showing him, Del turned his head. In her hands she held a newspaper clipping. The one Claudia had slammed on his desk and he hadn’t bothered looking at. Del took it, placing it on the steering wheel as he tried to look at it at the same time as keeping his eyes on the road.
‘Where did you get it?’
Star shrugged her shoulders, knowing full well where she’d got it from. She’d found it on the floor of her dad’s office when she’d been poking around, trying to find more treasures for her box. She hadn’t read what the cutting had said because she’d heard Claudia come in, so she’d tucked it away in her box.
‘I put it in me treasure box. See, I brought my box with me in case I see pirates – I might need some of my things …’
Star proceeded to pull other bric-a-brac out of her box as Del stared at the newspaper article. The photograph did look like Star. A mass of blonde hair. Big blue eyes. A button nose. But underneath the photo wasn’t Star’s name, it was Bunny’s. Bronwin Barker – Child Gives Evidence in Sister’s Murder Trial.
‘Dad, ain’t you going to move?’ Star’s urchin face looked at her dad as the traffic lights turned green. Del looked down again at the photo, realising where he’d seen a picture of Bronwin as a child before. He needed answers and was going to stop at nothing to get them.
‘Yes darlin’, but first, Daddy’s got something he needs to do.’
To a cacophony of horns, Del Williams skidded his Range Rover into yet another U-turn.
The sight of Alan Day sitting on the toilet with his trousers around his ankles as he spoke on his mobile was almost laughable, if the situation wasn’t so serious.
Alan looked up, astounded at the sight of Del standing by the door.
‘Listen, Julian, I’ve got to go. But I’ve told you before, there’s nothing more to say.’ Alan put down the phone, reaching across for the toilet paper.
‘Client?’
‘Something like that … How did you get in? The office is supposed to be locked … Anyway, do you mind?’
Del’s tone was sardonic. His eyes glinted coldly.
‘Not at all, pal.’
Alan went to get up from the toilet.
‘No, I want you to stay sitting on the khazi, Alan. That’s where a shitcunt like you deserves to be.’
Alan rubbed his chest. He could feel it getting tight again. ‘What’s this about?’
‘I thought you would’ve known, Alan.’
‘I haven’t a clue what you’re talking about.’
‘Bronwin. Bronwin Barker.’
Alan shook his head, anxiety beginning to wash over him.
‘Sorry, you’ve lost me.’
Del raised his voice. ‘Then let me jog your fucking memory.’ Del pulled out the newspaper clipping from his coat pocket and shoved it into Alan’s face, almost knocking him off the toilet. Del’s face sneered in hatred. ‘You stink, mate. Every single part of you stinks.’
Alan glanced at the newspaper then up at Del, a glint of defiance in his eyes. ‘I don’t know what you want me to say. I defended them. Everyone has a right to a defence whether they’re guilty or not guilty. I do my job and I do it well. I’m one of the best. Let’s face it Del, that’s why you come to me; because I can get you off. I don’t see you complaining when the jury says “not guilty” for you or any of your men. So I don’t see the problem. What’s this really about?’
Del stood and clapped slowly. ‘Have you finished? Because that speech right there mate; you almost had me … almost. The jury might buy it – but I don’t. Now, where do you keep them, Alan? Don’t move.’
Del walked out of Alan’s en-suite toilet, but turned back around as he heard a noise behind him. He turned and gave Alan an icy stare. ‘I said, stay where you are, Alan.’
Del spoke loudly as he reached the safe. ‘Are they in here, Alan?’
Sitting on the toilet, gazing through the crack in the door, Alan could see Del standing by the safe. ‘I … I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
‘Don’t you? I think you do. What’s the combination?’
‘I can’
t remember.’
‘Alan. You know me – and you know when I want something I’ll get it. By any means necessary.’
Through the crack, Alan watched Del produce a cosh from his jacket pocket.
‘Okay. Okay.’ Alan blew out hard. He could hardly breathe. ‘Pass me my spray. It’s by those files.’
Del glanced over to the desk. He walked over and picked up a bottle. ‘You mean this spray?’
Alan nodded, gesturing his hand widely. ‘Yes … yes.’
Del looked at it and raised his eyebrows. ‘I want the code.’
With his face covered in sweat, Alan struggled to talk.
‘Fine … 16, 32, 12, 6 … Now give me the spray.’
Del punched in the numbers. The electronic safe beeped, clicking open.
Del pulled out everything from inside the safe, throwing the numerous papers and documents on the floor. Then he stopped and closed his eyes. Leaning his head forward onto the cool metal of the safe door for support, he breathed deeply, calming himself before he dared reopen them.
The photograph Del had seen a few weeks ago here in Alan’s office wasn’t a nameless child. It was Bronwin. His Bronwin.
Unimaginable terror was visible in her big blue eyes as a man he didn’t recognise did unthinkable things to her. There were other photos. Other children. Other men. And then Del was almost sick. He shook his head. There was Alan. Alan and a small child.
He hadn’t thought. Hadn’t known Alan was involved like that. Defending them, yes. Getting them off, yes. But being a part of it. Actually being a fucking part of it. Jesus Christ. He’d laughed with the man. Gone out to dinner with him and …
It was too much for Del to comprehend. He let out a deep primal scream.
Panting, Del put the photo of Bronwin in his jacket, then he paused, seeing another photograph. But this time it wasn’t of Bronwin nor the unknown children; it was of another little girl, a girl who looked familiar.
‘Who’s this?’
Alan’s words were staggered. ‘Please … give me the spray.’
Del put the spray in his pocket, crouching down on his haunches in front of Alan on the toilet. ‘I don’t think so.’ He shoved the photo of the little girl in Alan’s face.