Bile rose in Ben’s throat. What kind of family would do this to a beautiful young girl? “That’s criminal assault,” he blurted out without thinking.
She gave a resigned shrug. “I suppose if we lived in the normal world, it would be. But we don’t. We live in a world where things like this happen, and no one can do anything about it.”
Ben was tempted to assure her there were people who would do something about it, but who the fuck would that be? As with all the crime families, the Toscanis had cops on their payroll from Vegas all the way to LA—cops who would turn a blind eye to flagrant breaches of the law. It had been an eye-opening experience when Ben first worked his way into the mob, and it had taken him years to get a handle on his anger. Last year, he’d given Jack a list of all the dirty cops he knew. But big surprise, they were all still around.
“Well, nothing is gonna happen to you on my watch. I promise you that.” He carefully examined the wound and replaced the bandage. “It isn’t infected, and unless you want it to scar worse, it’s best just to leave it alone.”
“Thanks for looking at it.” She dropped her blouse and turned to sit beside him on the couch. “Do you know what hurt worse?” She rested her hand on his thigh, rubbed her thumb back and forth over the rough denim. Desire shivered across Ben’s skin, and he resisted the urge to knock her hand away. Maybe she was just needing some comfort. Lord knew, the poor girl needed it.
“What’s that?”
“It was knowing that I’d spent my life in hiding for nothing. I was the perfect daughter. I did and said everything my father expected of a Mafia princess. But the other night, I realized it was a wasted effort. He hurt me to get to Mia, and it didn’t matter that I had been everything he wanted me to be, because what he wanted me to be was nothing. I should have just been me. Like Mia.” With her free hand, she undid the first two buttons on her blouse, and Ben’s pulse kicked up a notch.
“Can’t imagine a father doing what he did to you.” He slid sideways across the couch, dislodging her hand, and reached for a pillow to put a barrier between them. She was so incredibly lovely, graceful, soft and gentle. Like an angel. And she’d been living in Hell.
“Well then I won’t tell you about all the other things that went on in our house.” She undid another button. “We are about as dysfunctional as a family can get. My father is a tyrant, a monster in every sense of the word, and so are the men who work with him.”
Ben willed himself to look away from the exposed crescent of her perfect breast, the gentle slope, the lush swell of the forbidden fruit. He stared at the television, tried to focus on the screen and not the pulse of desire pounding through his veins.
“I’m not going to bite.” Kat laughed lightly. “You can come closer.”
“I’m good. Gonna take a shower and head off to bed.” He fisted the pillow, breathed through his mouth so he wouldn’t inhale the fresh, floral scent of her perfume. Something definitely wasn’t right here. Did she think she owed him for looking after her? Or was she looking for some comfort?
She let her shirt slide down her arms to reveal a lacy, pink bra.
“Whoa.” He held up his hands in a warding gesture. “I’ll just go in the other room if you’re wanting to change.”
“I don’t want to change.” She tugged the pillow from his lap and clasped his hand. “I want to have some fun. With you. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. What you see … this package … the girly clothes … it isn’t me. It’s what I did to survive. I want to find out who I really am with you.”
Ben’s stomach tightened and he gently released her hand. If he’d been another man in another place at another time he wouldn’t have turned her down. But she was a vulnerable, young woman who had just been through a traumatic experience. It wasn’t the right thing to do.
“Sweetheart. You’re a beautiful girl, but I gave Nico my word I’d keep you safe, and that includes keeping you safe from me. He’d have my head if he knew I touched you.”
She leaned across the couch; lay her head on his shoulder. “But he won’t know. No one will know. I’ve never been with anyone. I was always too afraid after what happened to Mia’s boyfriend, Danny. I’m free now. I want my first time to be with you.”
Jesus Christ. His pulse thundered in his veins, and his erection pressed painfully against his jeans. He had never felt temptation like this before. And it wasn’t because a beautiful half-naked virgin was begging him to be her first time; it was because he liked her. She was sweet and honest and genuine and kind. She was everything Ginger was not, everything he hoped little Daisy would grow up to be.
Daisy. His blood ran cold, putting out the fire that was raging in his veins.
“I can’t, Kat. I want to. I won’t lie to you about that. You’re like a fantasy come to life. An angel. But you need to find yourself a nice, normal guy who cares about you and who’s gonna look after you. And that’s not me.”
“Girls like me can’t be with normal guys.” She toyed with the button on his shirt. “I’m ruined, Ben. I’ve seen what the world is really like and it’s not all sunny days and happy smiles; it’s not all black and white. Good people do bad things and bad people do good things, and whether they are right or wrong depends on your point of view.”
“You’re wrong about that.” He covered her hand with his, gently drew it away. “There’s a line that you don’t cross no matter what.”
Kat laughed. “There is no line for us. It’s just infinite shades of gray.”
Ben pushed off the couch and grabbed his jacket. “Any man would want a beautiful, sweet girl like you. But what you’re offering me is something you want to keep for a special guy—someone who wants to get to know you first, who’ll treat you right, and appreciates all that you’ve got to give. You want to find someone who’s gonna protect you above all things. Someone who loves you. I promise you, there are guys like that out there.”
“Like Nico,” she said.
“Yeah.” Ben nodded, not unaware of the irony of holding a Mafia boss up to be the paragon of goodness. “Someone like him.”
“Or someone like you.” She pulled on her shirt, refastened the buttons.
“I’m not good, sweetheart.” The thoughts he was thinking right now were definitely not the thoughts of a good man, nor were the thoughts he had every time he walked into Ginger’s house and saw Gabe near his little girl.
She looked up and smiled. “Like I said. It depends on your point of view.”
TWENTY
Nico woke to the smell of burned bacon and the worst hangover of his life. He scrubbed a hand over his face and sat up, last night as much of a haze as the smoke that filled the room.
He leaped up, stumbled over the clothes and computer equipment strewn across the floor. Where the fuck was he? He blinked, clearing his vision, took in the riot grrrl posters, on the walls, the sea of silver chains and bracelets on the chipped white dresser, the black lace-up boots sitting on a dismantled hard drive. Ah yes. He had spent the night at Mia’s place.
Memories came back to him in a rush.
The wedding. The awkward hour at his hotel. The dive bar …
Fuck. The dive bar. He’d engaged in some X-rated activities he wasn’t sure if he wanted to rehash right now, or he’d have a fire to put out of another sort.
The earsplitting shriek of a fire alarm filled the room and he waded through the debris to the open-plan living space of the tiny apartment. “Mia!”
“Sorry.” She hurried toward him and pushed the button on the alarm, plunging the room into silence. “I wanted to make breakfast for you before I leave for work, but as you can see, I’m not much of a cook.”
Nico pushed open the window, drew in a breath of thick, smoggy air. Still, it was better than the smoke that charred his lungs.
“Uh…” Her voice thickened. “You might not want to do that?”
“Why?” He turned to face her, watched her blush.
“You’re … um … naked. And
my window is very visible from the street, and also to my elderly neighbors across the way. That’s why I usually cover it.” Her eyes widened and her blush deepened. “The window, I mean. I cover the window.”
Nico became semi-erect under her scrutiny, aroused by her interest and the memory of what they’d done last night.
“You like what you see, bella?” He put his hands on his hips and gave her a full frontal view, proud that he was in no way lacking in size or girth.
She swallowed hard, and her voice thickened with desire. “I just … I’ve never seen you completely naked before. I didn’t realize that dagger went all the way down. Last night, when we went to bed, it was … dark.” She reached out and traced the dagger inked onto his stomach, following the lines down to his groin. He was ready for her before her fingers finished the journey, his cock rock hard, jutting against the soft cotton nightshirt she wore that barely skimmed the tops of her bare thighs. So cute. He liked the T-shirt paired with oversized socks. She looked soft, vulnerable, and very fuckable.
“Commitment to protect my family.” He caught her hand, drew it to his cock. Mia smiled and wrapped her hand around his length.
“You feel very committed.”
“And you look like you’re wearing too many clothes.” He reached for her shirt, tried to pull it over her head.
“No.” She released him, and backed away. “I’m … How about I try breakfast again? Do you like cereal?”
Puzzled, Nico reached out and caught her wrist. “Why are you afraid to show me your body? There’s very little I haven’t seen already. There’s nothing I don’t like.”
“Do you like burned bacon?”
He understood the question for what it was. Defensive. An attempt to hide. “I like finding out about you,” he said softly. “I like knowing you can’t cook, that your apartment looks like a bomb went off in it, and that you wear a Calamity Jane T-shirt to bed. I like listening to your music and fucking you in a filthy office and an even more disgusting dive bar. You’ve awakened the beast, bella. I won’t be denied.”
“Promise me you won’t overreact.” She nibbled on her bottom lip. “You do have a tendency to overreact in certain situations.”
Overreact? He was always in control, prided himself on remaining calm in difficult circumstances. “What situations?”
“Kidnapping me. Beating up the Wolf in my office, fucking me in a restaurant just because I mentioned I was interested in what you were like in bed.”
Nico gave an irritated huff. “You don’t tell a man you want to get him into bed, and expect him to spend the rest of the evening thinking of anything else.”
She glanced down at his cock, now fully erect. “I guess that means I’m in big trouble now.”
“I want to see you. I want to see everything, your body, your ink, and your sweet curves. Show me who you are, or yes, there will be trouble.” Part of him hoped she wouldn’t undress so he could wrestle her into sweet submission, earn the reward of a body made for sin.
“Everything?”
“Now.”
“Fine.” Mia pulled off her shirt and toed off her socks. Nico drank her in, from her slightly tanned skin, to her beautiful breasts, the curves enhanced by the beautiful ink to the soft down of curls between her thighs. His gaze dropped to her long, lean legs and the flowers inked across her foot.
“Feet too?” He kneeled down to press a kiss to her instep. But what he saw made him recoil. “Dodgers fan?”
“Stay calm,” she warned. “I saw the Giants’ pennant in your office.”
Nico lifted an eyebrow. “Of course the Giants. They lead 1210 wins to the Dodgers’ 1184, eight World Series and twenty-three pennants versus the Dodgers’ six and twenty-one. You’re rooting for the wrong team.”
“Am I?” She tried to pull away but he held her foot fast. “The Dodgers have won the National League West fourteen times compared to the Giants’ eight.”
“I’m taking you to a game,” Nico said. “I’ll convince you to cross over to the dark side. You’ll find it’s the more profitable side to be on.”
She laughed, a soft throaty sound that made him feel warm all over.
“I already crossed over to the dark side when I got involved with you. And why do I think your interest in baseball isn’t entirely because you have a love for sports?”
Unabashed he laughed. “I might know a bookmaker or two.” He also knew some players, not just in baseball but in other sports as well. He had a couple of fixers on his crew who bribed young college basketball players to shave points by missing baskets to yield the greatest profit for their Toscani family fans.
“Such pretty feet totally ruined with Dodgers’ ink,” he teased. “We could have it removed.”
“You touch that ink, and I’ll remove something you are definitely going to miss.”
Chuckling, Nico pressed a kiss to her instep. “I like these flowers.”
“They match the ones on my boots.”
He kissed his way up her leg, delighted when her breath hitched. “I wanted to fuck you in those boots from the moment I saw you in them.”
“I thought you were afraid for your life since I was holding a gun to your chest.” She dug her hand in his hair as he pushed her legs apart.
“My thoughts turned after you dropped the gun.”
“When you thought I’d just murdered all those men?” Her teasing voice hitched when he pressed a kiss to her mound. “I didn’t realize violence turned you on.”
“I like it rough. Not violent.”
“How rough?”
Nico looked up, his gaze assessing. “With you, last night was as far as I will go.”
*
Mia had suffered a lot of abuse, but sex with Nico had been a revelation. The chase was exciting. Giving herself over to Nico, letting him take control, aroused her in a way she had never imagined before. She didn’t feel less of a woman for giving in; she felt more simply because she knew that if she told him to stop, he would. She’d never felt that kind of trust with a man before. That kind of safe. Empowered.
But he hadn’t given her everything. He hadn’t let the beast free. His impressive self-control extended to the bedroom, too.
Her mouth watered at the thought of Nico, raw and unrestrained. She tugged gently on his hair, urging him to stand. “So you would go farther? Rougher? If you didn’t think I would break?”
“I wouldn’t want to hurt you, bella. In any way.”
“I’m hurting now.” She took his hand, drew it down between her thighs so he could feel her wetness. Nico groaned and took over, as she knew he would, sliding a thick finger along her folds. His shaft was hard, jutting toward her from its nest of curls. With incredible force of will she pushed his hand away. “I guess I’d better get ready for work.”
She turned, walked away, giving him a good Full Monty view. “You can see yourself out.”
“Mia…” He gave a warning growl and her feet kicked into gear. Laughing she ran across the living space and headed for the bedroom.
He cursed in Italian as he stumbled over the books, computer gear, and clothes strewn across the floor. But he was fast, reaching the bedroom before she could slam the door closed. “You’re going to be one sorry girl.”
Mia’s heart pounded, and she backed up to the bed. “How sorry?”
He lunged, reaching for her. Mia fell back on the bed, rolled out of his grasp. Their play was all the more exciting for the fact they were naked, nothing to stop him from claiming her if he could pin her to the bed. And wasn’t that what she wanted? To fight and be subdued by a man strong enough to defeat her, gentle enough to cause her no pain?
“Christ, Mia. You don’t want to play this game with me.”
“Apparently I do or I wouldn’t be wrestling with you naked on the bed.” She pushed up only to have him body slam her back onto the mattress.
Mia twisted beneath him, scratched his back, pulled his hair, but her efforts just seemed to inflame him. Twice
she wiggled from his grasp, but both times he caught her, pulled her back to the bed. She kicked out, rolling to the floor, and he cursed again. His muscles grew tauter, his jaw firmer, and his eyes blazed with sensual fire.
“Minx.” He lifted her easily and dropped her on the bed. Sitting astride her hips, he grabbed her hands and pinned them over her head, forcing her to arch her back, offer her breasts for his licking pleasure. He took full advantage, drawing one nipple between his teeth, then the other, nipping just hard enough to make her moan.
“Condom. Drawer beside my bed.”
Nico released her hands and reached for her bedside table. Taking advantage of his loss of balance. She twisted, jackknifed up, intending to roll off the bed again, but Nico was too fast. He grabbed her around the waist, and yanked her toward him, forcing her face down to the bed with a firm hand around her neck.
It was a primitive, primal position. Pinned on all fours, cheek to the bed, ass in the air, legs held apart by his thick thigh, forced into submission, she conceded defeat with a moan.
Nico gave a satisfied grunt. “You drive me out of my fucking mind. Nothing I like better than a bit of rough.” Still holding her down, he reached for the nightstand, grabbed a condom, tore it open with his teeth, and sheathed himself.
“Was that rough?” she goaded him. “I thought we were playing nursery games.”
“You don’t know what you’re asking of me.” He grabbed her hands, bracketed her wrists, and pressed them against her lower back. “You already push me to the limit of my control.”
“I want to push you further.”
“And I want you to lift your ass, and show me your pussy.”
She shifted to accommodate the new position and he thrust a thick finger inside her without warning.
“Oh God.”
“I could fuck your sweet little cunt all day long and never get enough.” With his free hand, he held her still as she bucked against him. “That’s it. Fuck my fingers. Show me what you’re going to do when I put my cock inside you.”
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