It won't be anyone's fault if I die.
At least I don't think so. And I don't think I'm going to hell because I tried real hard to do the right things on earth. Then again, I've ended up places I didn't deserve to be before.
But I wouldn't expect anyone to come get me in hell.
Duncan sat at the head of the dining room table.
Hours had been suspended so that everyone could be in the meeting, and they were starting to wonder why Hours were ever sacred if Duncan dismissed them so easily. No one was happy, least of all Duncan. But this was different than the night before. The congregation wasn't afraid of him now; they were sad and baffled. The Cushite woman was sick, perhaps dying, when just a few hours ago she was Duncan's intended. A few hours ago there was not only going to be a wedding, but Duncan had confirmed there would be a healing for them all on the night of the wedding. That was the plan. The plan wasn't any good anymore because Hannah was upstairs dying or maybe possessed.
"Teresa," Duncan said. "What do you have to tell us?"
"She's quiet now, but she's still convulsing. I don't know what's wrong. Her stitches aren't infected. There's no fever. She was healthy last night."
"Then it's God, isn't it?" Glenn asked his question. Robert tried to give him an answer.
"I would deduce that it's the devil because she's like throwing up and writhing." Robert wiped his nose on the back of his sleeve. "That's right, isn't it, Duncan? That writhing people are from hell. But then. . ."
Robert's brows beetled. He turned his massive head one way and then the other way. His tiny eyes looked at the people around the table. He scratched at the leather-like mound of red flesh on the side of his face.
"Then why would Pea say God said for you to marry her, Duncan?"
He swung his head back to Duncan.
"Are you like the devil? Is this a trick? Are you going to heal us for the dev. . ."
"Oh, no!" Melody's lips rounded and her face became an mask of pure horror.
"Enough, Robert. That's enough out of you," Duncan snapped. "Hannah is not the devil. I am not from the devil. Pea was not wrong. Something else has happened. Perhaps, the devil has tried to interfere with our happiness, but it might be something else. Melody, you looked in on her last night."
"She was fine like Teresa said. She and Billy were talking."
"He didn't come to his bed last night," Duncan said.
"Did he stay the night with her? Duncan?" Glenn said. "Isn't she supposed to be your wife? How could he stay with her?"
"He's her friend. I didn't think there would be any harm in him staying one night with her," he said, but everyone was uncomfortable with yet another rule broken.
Duncan knew that nothing short of hog tying Billy Zuni would have kept him from Hannah last night. He wouldn't let Billy disrupt the order further. He and Hannah had already upset everyone with their reaction to Pea's revelation. That Billy was shocked was understandable; that Hannah was appalled was unfathomable. God had sent her; Pea had confirmed it. There could be no other interpretation of the passage. There should have been joy.
Duncan's fingers went to his lips. Those lips weren't splitting his face into two happy parts anymore. His expression was grim. The people around the table were looking at him all wrong. He felt their confusion, and he knew what they were thinking. If he could heal, why didn't he heal the girl who was supposed to be his wife? From the kitchen came the sound of the kettle. Teresa rose, but Duncan got up first.
"I'll get my own tea."
He left the room, and behind him anxious looks were exchanged. Duncan never got his own tea or food or anything. Melody put her hands in her lap, the fingers of her good hand stroking the back of her withered one. Teresa kept her hands on the table as if she was ready to rush off. Glenn's burned hands went up and down, touching his nose, his chin and his cheeks. Robert swiped at his perpetually running nose. Foster muttered, the family of little people whispered to one another. From the kitchen they heard a cup drop and shatter. No one spoke for fear Duncan would hear them; they stopped thinking for fear that God would hear their thoughts and tell Pea. A cabinet opened and then they heard nothing until the swinging door between the dining room and the kitchen opened. Duncan stood there, his face tight with anger. He didn't have a cup of tea. He had a question:
"What is this?"
Everyone looked at him and then they looked at the vial of clear liquid he was holding between two fingers.
***
Stu's place brought a new definition to the word cabin. It was four walls made of logs, and a roof made of wood and tin. The windows had no glass, but were covered with crucified hides to keep the cold out and the warm in. He had a needle stuffed mattress made of sacks, a table with three legs and a stack of rocks for the fourth one. He had a blanket that looked like a bearskin, a bowl fashioned from wood and two cups made of tin. He had some books. Madam Bovary, which he hadn't read, three books in a series called Spooky Things, which he had, and a cookbook with recipes to be made over an open fire.
"Got 'em from all over the place," Stu opined. "Amazing what people leave behind when they come around here. You're supposed to clean up after you, you know. Yeah, but you two know that. Damn fine you carried all your gear out. How you feeling there, Miss Josie? Feeling okay 'cause if not, the hospitality of my bed is all yours. I'll be respectful, especially with Ms. Nell standing around here, but you just lie on down if you're feeling faint."
"I'm good, Stu," Josie said. "Thanks though. That's really nice of you."
"Been a while since I entertained a lady, but I still remember how to be polite."
Josie didn't dare look at Nell for fear she would laugh. Even though she would kill to lie down, Stu's bed was not the most inviting prospect.
"So." He rubbed his hands together. "What's it going to be? I got coffee. Made it fresh day before yesterday."
"We've got water." Nell tossed a plastic bottle at Josie who caught it easily. Stu shook his head.
"Hate those things. People leave those things everywhere. Made me a duck blind out of a bunch of 'em once. Figured I'd put 'em to good use. The ducks could see me clear as day, so it didn't work. That blind is probably still there."
"So," Josie pulled out a chair and put her map on the table. "Can you show us where there are people around here? That's what we really need to know. We're looking for two teenagers who were in an accident over here." She pointed to the area where she and Nell had started. "We think someone found them and probably took them in. It would have to be remote otherwise they would have called us."
Nell sat down, too, and Stu found another chair in a corner and pulled it up. The seat was so bad that he sunk to eye level with the table when he sat down.
"This won't work." He stood up and pushed it with his foot so it slid over the hard-packed dirt floor. "Move over there, Miss Nell."
She did and he sat down beside her. Nell put her hand to her nose. Josie turned the map so he could look at it right side up.
"So, you're looking for somebody who has a good heart. Well, that limits things some." His finger came down on a spot near a lake. "Colonel Mustard's over there."
"Is that his real name?" Nell asked.
Stu shook his head. "Naw, I call him that 'cause the guy got gassed over in the Middle East somewheres. I thought it was funny. He nearly blew my head off when I called him that. We don't socialize much anymore. I don't think he'd have your kids. Not the friendliest person in the world. Take us about a day and a half to get to him, anyways. Now, way over here you've got the Bensons. She's a native – handsome woman – he's retired from something. I don't know what. They're sort of normal. They've got a septic tank and everything. Can't imagine they would have been up there with your wreck. Show me again where?"
Josie pointed to the spot on the map.
"Nope. They're old folk. There's no reason for them to go that far. He's got a bad heart. Now here, maybe you've got something he
re." Stu tapped hard on the map at a place near the Yukon. "That there's a real Inuit settlement. A pretty little town. Well, it's sort of a town. One street. Well, it's a sort of street. They have a council lodge. Course, there's almost no one left to go there, but you've got a few families. I've been over there – it was a long time ago – but they had some kind of festival. Pitiful turnout. Lots of their young folk are gone. Still, they would take care of your kids if they found them."
"Do they have communications?"
"Damn straight! One of 'em even has a satellite dish. Big stuff over there. Poor as church mice, but one of 'em got a dish."
Nell looked at Josie and shook her head. "If Billy and Hannah were with them and could talk, they would have given them your information."
"We could check it out. They might have heard something," Josie said.
"Worth a shot. We've got nothing else," Nell agreed.
"I didn't say that, did I? I didn't say you got nothin' else," Stu barked. "You gotta let me finish. You gotta give me a moment to gear up my thought process and such."
"Sorry." Josie pushed the map closer, doubting they would get any useful information. Stu was a happy hermit who, now that he'd found some people to talk to, wanted the tea party to last a little longer.
"Here," his finger circled a spot right on the river. "This is where you can find a bunch of do-gooders. Don't have much truck with them, but they got a little store and they don't mind trading. But they might . . ."
Before he could finish, the room was filled with the sound of tinny voices. The women sat up. Nell looked over her shoulder. When she turned back, she was grinning.
"You've got a radio."
"Damn straight. I don't want to be alone out here. That would just be plain nuts."
***
"What is this? Where did it come from? Melody? It was in the cabinet with your remedies."
"It's. . .oh. . ." Melody shot a frantic gaze Robert's way. He rubbed and rubbed his nose and then his face. From behind his hand he looked at her. It was hard to tell if he was pleading with her or threatening her. Not that it mattered. She had to tell the truth. "It's . . . I found it in Robert's jacket."
Robert tried to jump up to defend himself, but his stomach got caught on the table so he pleaded his case sitting down.
"I didn't mean to keep it. I just forgot it, Duncan. I forgot. Can't a guy forget?" Robert wailed and threw his head back. His leather face was paralyzed and his pink, baby face was screwed up in a tantrum. "I wasn't stealing, and if Melody didn't give it to you then she was stealing."
"No, really, I wasn't." Both her hands went up, one waving and the other flapping. "I found it when I washed his jacket, and put it aside to keep it safe until I finished that chore. There are four more. They're way in the back. That's all I did."
"It was in the truck," Robert screeched. "Boxes and boxes of it. I was going to show it to you for the store. I was going to get it and. . . "
". . .Then there was Hannah and Billy and everything," Melody talked over Robert.
Around the table, the others cringed. Peter hid his face against his mother. Foster made sounds. Teresa's head hung down. Melody tried to explain.
"I just didn't get around to giving it to you Duncan. I'm sorry," she sobbed. "There hasn't been anyone at the store. We didn't miss out on a chance to sell it. . ."
"Stop! Both of you." Duncan ordered.
He palmed the vial. His jaw was so tight it felt like it would shatter. Sell it! The fools didn't know what they had. They hadn't even looked at the label. It was just a shiny little thing. That's what they liked. Any shiny little thing. Except for Melody. She was intelligent. She was also hurt by the prophesy of Duncan's wedding. She'd been restless and unhappy waiting for the healing. Perhaps she was also a good little actress. That might be it. She might have failed in her penance. She had tried to kill her sister, why not try and kill Hannah?
"It's not full? Why is that? Look, there's some missing."
He pushed the little bottle toward her. Melody looked at it. It had been full when she found it. She shook her head and shook it and shook it.
"I don't know. I don't know," she said. "Maybe I spilled some. I mean, I opened it, but I put the top right back on and . . . Brother. . .Duncan. . . "
"Melody, do not lie," he roared. "God will know. Pea will know. Tell me the truth. It won't affect your healing. I promise."
"But I didn't lie. . ." Melody sobbed. Her withered hand began to tremble and her good one covered her face. "I didn't. . ."
"Stop." Teresa stood up and all eyes turned her way. She raised her chin. "Melody didn't do anything. It was me, I used it. I will confess, Duncan. Privately."
Duncan stared at her, dropped his hand, and put the vial on the table. He should have known. Teresa was trying to ruin his life once again.
"Everyone go to your rooms," he muttered. "I'll talk to Teresa now."
Chairs scraped. People struggled to get up and when they finally went single file out of the room. Duncan called to Melody.
"Look in on Hannah. If she's not quiet, come back and get us."
"May I do my Hours with her?" Melody pleaded. Duncan nodded. When she was gone, he sank into his chair and held the glass bottle between his fingers.
"You are so deceitful, Teresa," Duncan said. "I thought you were ready to be healed, but here you are up to your old tricks. Trying to kill a child, a child who would be my bride. You can't help yourself, can you? You'd do anything to harm me."
"You can think what you want, but I didn't try to kill her. I don't know what that is. I only know that I must have put it in her tea by accident. Billy was in the kitchen last night. Hannah couldn't sleep, so I fixed her tea, and thought I was putting in Melody's sleeping potion. That's all it was."
"You expect me to believe that?" Duncan snapped.
"I don't care what you believe anymore, Duncan. All these years I've served you and Pea and tried to make up for what I did. That should count for something."
"If you are poisoning people then I have every right to doubt you." He slapped the glass bottle in front of her and turned it so she could see the label. "Liquid nicotine. This will kill you if you drink or even get it on your skin. You put half a bottle in that tea."
"Lord, forgive me." Teresa hung her head. "I didn't know, Duncan. I didn't."
"You just couldn't stand for me to be happy. I found a bride and you try to kill her. I have a sister, and you try to kill her. I . . . "
"I didn't try to kill that girl upstairs and this was never about hurting you." Teresa's hands came down hard on the table and she turned her tortured body so she could look at him. "I've reached in that cabinet a hundred times. There has never been anything in it except Melody's remedies. The one for sleep is on the right. I took it and poured this in the tea. It was a mistake."
"Teresa. Teresa." Duncan shook his head. "If anyone finds out about this they will put you away for murder. It won't be like last time. No institution for you. I will testify to anyone who will listen that you attempted cold blooded murder."
"And you will be an accessory. I'll tell them that you intended to keep that girl prisoner. I will tell them that when she didn't want to marry you, you hurt her. The rest of them will be thrown out into the world again. I know that's not what you want, so don't you threaten me, Duncan. You're the one who is evil. You have preyed on these people's hopes and fears. It sickens me. And why did you do it? To make yourself important? To keep from being alone? To punish me? You just can't stand being overlooked."
"I helped them," he shot back. "They came willingly."
"They did not," Teresa countered. "They were so sick and helpless. They were all disturbed. And you came with your ministry, scooping them up when they were released and had nowhere else to go. I should have stopped it then. I should have told someone, but I didn't because I wanted to atone. For a while I even believed that you and Pea and God had a plan. I was so wrong."
<
br /> "I am what I say I am, and I'll prove it to you. You don't even understand healing. There is more than one way, and I will heal. . ."
"Oh, stop it," Teresa said. "You can't heal anything. You make things up. Hannah's leg wasn't broken and they know it. They took the cast off last night. They were going to hightail it out of here. Hannah wasn't going to marry you. No one would marry you. Duncan," Teresa begged, "tell these people the truth. I'm going to take Pea. I'm going to get her to a good place. I'm going to– "
Duncan shot up. He towered over Teresa, his face was red with anger, his eyes flashed, and his fists clenched.
"Blasphemy!" Duncan's lips curled. "Go away. Go to Hours. You failed God's test. You tried to kill again. You will not be healed. You will be left behind and you will weep that you were not granted everlasting release from your afflictions. You will. . ."
As he ranted, Teresa stood up. She pulled herself as straight as her body would allow. She looked at Duncan, not the conduit between God and his flock, her son. She said:
"Shut up, Duncan."
CHAPTER 23
Duncan sat alone in the house for a long while. He bit his nails to the quick. He picked up the little bottle of poison and put it down. He thought and thought about what Teresa had said – that she had poured this stuff into Hannah's tea by mistake. Duncan didn't believe in mistakes. He believed in confession and penance and the ultimate peace. He believed in a higher power, and he believed that no one should get a third chance.
Teresa had the heart of a killer. Oh, she tried to pretend that she had a mother's heart. In heaven, she had explained to the doctors, she and her children would be safe from pain and fear and want. She insisted that it took incredible strength for a mother to hurt her children. Duncan knew better. Teresa preyed on the weak. First it had been him and Pea, and now it was Hannah. She was the perfect victim, and Teresa proved herself to be the monster Duncan knew her to be. Yes, God had put Hannah here for so many reasons and the greatest of which was that Pea and Duncan were now strong.
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