by Ashley Blake
“Mom, I don’t need Sarah bashing right now, I need to know what to do. What if it is mine?”
She grabbed my hands and looked me in the eyes.
“I’m sorry. If it’s yours you will be fine. I will help you any way I can and the baby will have everything he or she needs. I don’t want you to feel obligated to be with Sarah unless you want to be with her. If you don’t want to be with her, the main priority for you will be the baby and that’s it. I will help you every step of the way.”
I was so grateful for my mom and I don’t know what I would have done without her. Her words were so comforting for me and I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a long hug.
“Thanks, Mom.”
“You’re welcome honey. As soon as the baby is born you’ll get a paternity test and then we will go from there. I know it will be hard but try not to stress over this. Are you still fighting?”
My mom was proud of all of my wins but she hated that I was a MMA fighter. She kept telling me that I could do anything else and she would give me what I needed but I wanted to make a living on my own. I didn’t have access to my inheritance until I was 30 so I wanted to support myself and I know my dad respected that I made my own money.
“Yes, but I think I’m going to take a break until the kid is born. There is no way I can focus the way I need to. Zach will probably be disappointed but it’s what I need to do.”
“Well make sure you at least continue to work out because you need to get your frustration out somehow and I don’t want you turning into the person you were when Sarah broke up with you.”
“I will, Mom. Don’t worry, that guy doesn’t exist anymore and he’s not coming back.”
I was going to tell her about Kinsley even though she wasn’t speaking to me at that time but my step-dad came home. I decided I would tell her another time when it was just the two of us.
“Lucas! What a nice surprise!”
I stood up and gave him a hug. “Hey John.” They had been married for about 15 years and he treated my mom like a queen so I really liked him.
“Are you staying for dinner?”
“Yes, honey stay for dinner. Gavin can set a place for you.”
My mom was practically pleading with her eyes and I couldn’t say no to her so I decided to stay and spend some time with them. I ended up having a really good time and for about an hour I didn’t think about Sarah or the baby. I left a little bit after 8:00 and thanked my mom for the talk and told her I would keep her posted. I decided to let her fill John in on the details after I left.
When I got home it was almost 9:00 p.m. and I was exhausted so I crashed and decided I would call Kinsley the next day after I’d had a good night’s sleep…or as good as it could be under the circumstances. Sarah called me the next morning ripping me out of a semi-restful night of much needed sleep, and I was pissed.
“Hey, I just wanted to see if you changed your mind about going to the doctor with me today.”
“No, I did not change my mind, Sarah. Look, I hope it all goes well but I need time to process what you told me. I will call you in a few days.”
I didn’t give her a chance to respond and I just hung up. I know it was a dick move but I was exhausted and needed some time to think. If she was violently ill that would be a different story and I would have gone with her, but she wasn’t so she could wait a few days to hear from me.
I rolled over and stared up at the ceiling. I was planning to call Kinsley later that day after her classes and hoped she wasn’t too pissed at me for not calling sooner. I figured it would be better to tell her the news in person so I was going to invite her over for dinner. A few minutes later, unable to get back to sleep, I hopped out of bed and got ready to go to the gym. It was time to let out some frustration.
I was able to get in a full workout and by the time 5:30 rolled around I figured Kinsley would be done with classes for the day so I called her.
“Hey, are you busy?”
“Not really, I just got home.” Her tone was a little cold and I could tell she was not happy with me.
“I’m sorry I didn’t call you last night. Something came up and then I just crashed, but I would love to see you tonight. Do you want to come over for dinner?”
She hesitated for a minute and I was worried that she would say no.
“Um, sure. What time?”
“How about around 7:00? I’ll pick you up.”
“I’m actually going to be in your neighborhood so I can just come to your place.” She didn’t sound as cold so I was happy she was warming up to me.
“Okay, sounds good.”
“Alright, see you then.”
I rushed home, had a protein shake while I seasoned the chicken, shoved it in the oven, put a few potatoes in the second oven and started cutting vegetables for the salad. I went over and over in my mind what I was going to say to Kinsley and I just hoped that she wouldn’t turn and walk right out the door. I really wanted to see where things could go with us. After I found out if she was down with sticking around through Sarah’s pregnancy, I would think about how we were going to tell our parents about us. I had not talked to my dad in a couple of weeks so I figured I would reach out to him the following day to see how wedding plans were coming along. He was making an effort to have a relationship with me and after everything I had experienced that past couple of days, I figured I could be a little nicer and more receptive to him.
I was so lost in my thoughts and preparing dinner that I didn’t notice it was almost 7:00. I hopped in the shower and finished getting dressed just as my doorman buzzed me.
“Ms. Peterson is here to see you.”
“Thanks, Keith, send her up.”
A couple of minutes later when I opened the door, her beauty blew me away. I smiled at her and pulled her to me for a kiss.
“Hey you, you look beautiful.”
She smiled back at me and I felt like the luckiest guy in the world.
“Thank you. Your doorman gave me some money.”
“Yes, I left that to cover your cab, silly.”
“I know, he told me. I’m just messing with you. Thank you by the way.”
“You’re welcome. Do you want something to drink? Dinner is just about ready.”
“I’ll just have something with dinner. Do you have any lemonade?”
I felt like a giddy kid as rummaged through the fridge for some lemons. I wanted to make her whatever she wanted.
“I can make you fresh lemonade.”
“Oh my goodness, Lucas, that’s not necessary. I’ll just have ice water.”
“I can whip it up in two seconds!” Before she protested I started slicing lemons and her lemonade was ready in five minutes.
“You’re too much,” she said as she took a sip. “Wow, this is delicious!”
“Thank you, it’s one of my favorite drinks when I’m not training. Why don’t you have a seat and I will serve you.”
“Hmmm, I could get used to this special treatment.”
I winked at her. “You just might have to.”
We made a lot of small talk during dinner and I was a nervous wreck as we finished eating. I had to tell her about Sarah before the night was over and if I didn’t do it soon I was going to lose my nerve. I noticed her glass was empty so I got up to get her more lemonade.
After I filled her glass I grabbed both hers and mine and looked at her.
“Why don’t we go get more comfortable on the couch.”
We settled into the cushions and I felt much more comfortable there and realized it was time.
“So, I have some news to tell you.”
She looked at me and I could have sworn I saw fear in her eyes.
“Okay.”
I took a sip of my water to quench my mouth that was suddenly dry. “First of all I want you to know that I didn’t ask Sarah to meet me at the airport, she did that on her own. Also, I had not talked to her in months so I was really surprised that she was there.” I took a d
eep breath and kept going. “She told me she is six months pregnant, I’m the father and she’s keeping the kid.”
I saw the blood drain from Kinsley’s face and her skin turned pasty. I thought she was going to faint right in front of me, but thankfully that did not happen. I could see her struggling to gather her thoughts.
“What?” It was barely a whisper but the weight of the word said everything. She was not happy.
I hung my head for a few seconds and then slowly raised me eyes to hers.
“She’s pregnant, Kinsley.”
“Why did she wait so long to tell you?”
“That part I’m not sure about.”
“So what does this mean, Lucas? Are you getting back together with her?”
Her eyes were so sad and I just wanted to kiss the sadness away. I quickly moved next to her and put my arm around her as my eyes searched hers.
“No. I am not getting back together with her. I had a great time with you in Mexico and I want to see where things go with us. I only want you, Kinsley.”
“What are you going to do about the baby?”
“If it’s mine I am going to pay child support and have a relationship with my child, but that doesn’t include Sarah.”
She moved away from me slightly and held my gaze.
“Yes, it does Lucas. Sarah is going to be in your life for the rest of the child’s life so you will have to have some type of relationship with her. Did she act like she wanted to get back together with you?”
I didn’t want to lie to her so I told her the truth.
“Yes, but I don’t want that, Kinsley. Any feelings I had for Sarah are long gone.”
She slowly shook her head.
“I don’t know, Lucas. Once you see that baby and see Sarah, the mother of your child, holding that baby your feelings will probably change.”
“I am telling you that is not going to happen. I only want to explore a relationship with you.”
She was silent for a minute and as each second passed my heart thumped louder. I could already feel her pulling away.
“She’s going into her last trimester and she is probably scared, Lucas. As it gets closer to her due date she is probably going to need you to help her with some things and to go to doctor appointments with her. As much as I hate to say it, I don’t know if now is the right time for us.”
My eyes were pleading with her.
“Kinsley, please, don’t squash things with us before they have had a chance to really get started. I have never felt this way about any girl before. I can figure this out, just give me a chance.”
Her eyes were lowered to the ground and when she raised them a single tear rolled down her cheek.
“It’s just not the right timing for us, Lucas. You need to be there for Sarah.”
She slowly got up and went to get her purse.
“Kinsley, wait.”
She turned to look at me and the sadness I saw on her face killed me because I knew I was the reason for that look.
“No, I better go. This is all just way too much for me to handle right now.” She lifted her eyes to mine. “Did you know that our parents broke up?”
I was totally shocked. I let her words sink in for a minute and then realized while it was not good news for our parents, it was great news for us.
“No, I had no idea. Is your mom okay?”
“My mom is the one who broke things off.”
“Really?” I couldn’t hide the surprise in my voice. Women usually threw themselves at my dad and his money. For someone to break things off with him had to be a huge blow to his ego.
She looked a little annoyed at my tone. “Yes, really. Your dad isn’t the be all end all, Lucas.”
“I know, I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply that. It’s just that no one has ever broken things off with him first. It’s always been the other way around.”
“Well, there’s a first time for everything, I guess.”
“Do you know what happened?”
“Yes, my loser father came back into the picture and claims he wants to marry my mother this time around. She apparently feels the same way because she has already practically moved in with him and she expects me to move in with them by next weekend. There is no way I am doing that. I barely know him. This is all so screwed up; I want to just crawl under a rock and make all of this go away.”
I reached out and gently caressed her arm.
“I am so sorry about all of this, Kinsley. I hope you don’t mean you want me to go away too.”
She looked at me with sad eyes and my heart plummeted to my toes.
“You’re part of the problem, too. You have a pregnant ex-girlfriend who isn’t going away. She’s going to be around forever, Lucas. It’s just a little much for me to handle right now.”
She put her bag on her arm and headed toward the door.
“You’re leaving? Kinsley, come on, we can talk about this. I told you I don’t have feelings for her. I don’t want anything to do with Sarah.”
She slowly reached out and caressed my cheek. “That’s not an option anymore. Good luck with everything.”
With that, she left and I stood there staring at the door like an idiot. What the fuck just happened?
Chapter Twenty-One - Kinsley
As soon as I stepped into Lucas’s elevator the tears began to stream down my face. Sarah was pregnant. Why would I get involved with a guy whose ex-girlfriend was currently carrying their baby? I didn’t have a ton of feelings invested in him so I could just walk away, right? I tried to tell myself that but every time I thought about not having Lucas around anymore I felt sadder by the minute. I didn’t even want to think about what was going on with my mom and dad. As I rode home in the cab along Lake Shore Drive, staring out the window at the waves crashing against the shore, I just wanted to curl up in a ball and disappear.
I walked into my apartment and literally fell into bed. I didn’t want to start packing, I didn’t want to study, and I didn’t want to talk to anyone on the phone. I just wanted to sleep.
The next morning I woke up with renewed energy and a new plan for my life. I was going to move in with Sophie, focus on completing my final semester and immerse myself in my internship so that I would be guaranteed a job offer when it was over. As long as I stayed busy, I would not have time to think about Lucas. That was my plan but I would soon find out that was not necessarily the best plan for me.
Lucas called me that morning before I went to class but I just let it go to voicemail. I wasn’t ready to talk to him yet and there really wasn’t anything he could say to me. I was still in college and I didn’t want to deal with baby mama drama when I didn’t really have to. The fact that Sarah showed up at the airport like she did was probably just the beginning of the kind of stunts she would pull. I wanted nothing to do with a situation like that. I had to keep telling myself that over and over because as much as I didn’t want to admit it, I was really sad about having to walk away from what I could have had with Lucas.
I literally threw myself into school, work and moving the next three months to keep my mind off of the pit I felt in my stomach. I had never felt what I was feeling for Lucas before and I didn’t quite know what to do about it. Sophie was the only person I could talk to about it and I was sure she was getting sick of my lamenting so I mostly kept my feelings to myself. The one good thing that came of my mom and Arty breaking up is I never had to tell her about Lucas.
My mom and dad were getting married the week after my graduation and I was dreading it like crazy. She was acting like a giddy school girl constantly calling me and asking my opinion on everything to do with the wedding. They were inviting 100 people and she wanted me to be the maid of honor, which was the last thing I wanted to do, but I had to do it. I couldn’t believe that they were actually still together but my mother seemed happier than I had ever seen her in my life. My dad kept trying to have dinner with me but I had no interest in doing that yet. It was going to take some
time for me to want to spend time with him in person. I was perfectly happy with the cordial sporadic email relationship we had.
I had not seen Lucas at all during that time and his calls, texts and emails eventually stopped. Of course I was upset about it but I was so busy with everything else going on in my life I didn’t have time to dwell on my feelings.