by Roxy Mews
The bot cocked its head and analyzed his words.
“If the human doesn’t own you, I see no reason to obey the command.”
“No one owns me. I’m applying for my certificate.”
The bot that had given up its solar panel in favor of an argument laughed out loud. “You really have poor assessment skills.” It pointed at Paisley. “That one is the one that you have to go through to get your application in the first place. She is the new secretary for Miss Sechshundert. To even attend an appointment, you have to talk to her.”
Robohippie frowned.
His disturbed look refreshed Paisley’s attitude and cleared some of the cobwebs. She had the power to make him just as miserable as he had made her last night. Either he was too mechanical to feel and her messing with his application process would make no difference to him, or he was human enough that she could piss in his Cheerios.
“Paisley, I’m sorry I didn’t fuck you last night. Please don’t hold it against my application process. That would be very unprofessional of you.”
Yep. This was going to be the highlight of her day. Her knees sported some nasty bruises from her gymnastics on the balcony. She’d had to use makeup on her thighs. The night before, when she’d tried to relieve a little sexual frustration, her neighbors suddenly made noise and completely killed her train of thought. She refused to masturbate to the bastards, and so she’d gone to bed without the orgasm she wanted.
She was grumpy, and what she did to torture this guy would be of little consolation the rest of her shift. But life was all about the little things, and she was going to make the little things count today.
“I’m sorry. I don’t have the ability to grant you any certificates myself. You have to schedule an appointment with Coral.” Paisley patted her pockets. “Which I could do if I could only find the appointment book to put you on the schedule.”
The bot looked back and forth between them. “You pissed off the secretary before your appointment? That was not an intelligent move.”
“He pissed me off by not giving me an orgasm and falsely accusing me of crimes I didn’t commit.” Paisley pouted.
The bot shook its head at Robohippie. “Orgasms are important. Didn’t you read the contents of Coral’s Bill?”
Paisley laughed. Maybe she could have some friends in this place.
Robohippie rolled his shoulders back before advancing. His legs carried him closer and closer until he reached the wall and jumped up to grab Paisley. He lifted her onto her tip toes and she had no choice but to go with his momentum.
He called over his shoulder. “I gave her two orgasms before she even touched my dick, and that was after she crawled all over me covered in lube and naked. I’d say I have the restraint of a human monk.”
He pushed her toward the back of the building and they slipped into a small crevice between the exterior siding and the sidewalks.
He pressed her against the wall but he wasn’t looking to repeat last night. He was looking to save his ass. Desperation would have been an appropriate response, but Paisley heard none of it in his voice. If she had to guess, it was more like conviction.
“Look, lady. I’ve seen the worst of humanity in the best of places. If you really aren’t leading the rallies, I’m sorry to have accused you, but I was trying my best to get to the bottom of who is trying to take away the right to become human.” He held her shoulders a little more gently. “That’s not so horrible is it?”
She waited for him to let go before she bothered to respond. As his hands slid away, she pressed the wrinkles down on her blazer. Her body warmed, remembering what happened to the last suit, but her body was not connected to her brain, and she shut the arousal down. She had the power again. This was how she worked best. This was how she survived the world and everyone in it. So this was how she would take back her life, even if it wasn’t any fun anymore.
“I enjoyed myself enough until you misrepresented yourself. Up until your roommate interrupted my good time, I was perfectly pleased to let you show me exactly what kind of upgrades you possess.” Paisley took one more bite of her sandwich and then tossed it into the trash can next to the door. She wasn’t all that hungry anyway. “I’m not here to judge you. I’m here to push papers and get enough money to buy food.”
“That you throw away before finishing?” He kept watching her. “The amount you consumed won’t sustain you for the remainder of your work day.”
“I’ll make do.”
Robohippie pursed his lips but didn’t say anything else before he walked away.
Paisley knew better than to expect manners from the guy now that she knew what he really wanted her for. The jig was up. She looked over her shoulder at the sunshine band still filling their solar cells.
When they heard the lapse in conversation around them, they’d all looked toward Paisley. Their eyes had turned yellow. A few more minutes and they would most likely be recharged enough to finish their day. Not hearing any commands, the two non-AI bots resumed sunning themselves. The angry one kept staring.
Paisley shouted to the one that kept looking. “I don’t like labels. If you don’t want to talk to me because I’m human, that sucks, but it doesn’t make you a bad bot—it just takes you off my Christmas card list. I thought it would be nice to have someone to talk to while I ate.”
Realizing she sounded more lonely than confident, Paisley just decided to call it a day for the conversation attempts. Frustrated as hell, the only thing that sounded good was an orgasm. Considering her good minivibe was back at the hotel, there wasn’t much she could do about that in the last five minutes of her break.
This shift was going to be a long one.
* * * * *
It got even longer when Robohippie sat in front of her. He had tucked in his shirt while he walked up. Even Paisley knew it was better to make your adjustments before you came up to a professional setting.
He was still tucking as he looked up at Paisley. “I have a one-thirty appointment with Coral.”
Of course he did. Paisley looked at the date book. “Miss Sechshundert is finishing up with her previous consultation”—she double-checked his name before she continued—“Mr. Bond, is it? You are free to wait in the area by the water dispenser. There are also lubricating pods in the Keurig that are specially made for Robotic Humanoids if you prefer.” Paisley waved her arm and dismissed him.
Then she thought about it for a moment. Since he didn’t move, she decided she might as well ask. “Is your name really Jonathon Bond? And how do you have a name if you are here applying for your CoH?”
He frowned. “I haven’t been addressed by my model number for quite some time. I was used by the CIA for missions that required my expertise. That was the name assigned to me, and it was easier to keep it than fight for a new one.”
Paisley could not help laughing. “Wait…you were a bot for the CIA and they named you Bond?”
Her laughter got louder.
He did stand up then. Of course the door happened to open with the magistrate and Coral watching her make a fool of herself.
“Paisley, what is so funny?” Magistrate Winters asked.
“My name, apparently,” Mr. Bond answered. It was a good thing he filled in too. Paisley couldn’t catch her breath.
Coral was not at all fazed by Paisley. This was the perfect job for the former maid if you didn’t count the government part and the other-employees part. She was still near hyperventilating when Robohippie extended his hand.
“I’m Jon Bond.”
Paisley lost it again.
The magistrate grabbed the files she held out to him on his way from the office. He shook his head as he looked down on her, but Paisley was pretty sure he was also looking down her blouse. She sat up straighter, which only arched her back and stuck her chest out.
Coral looked from Paisley to Mr
. Bond and back again. “Is this the man who accused you of being a traitor after he failed to perform during a sexual episode?”
Paisley really hoped Coral’s recorder was on, because she wanted a picture of his face to put as a background on her phone.
Not that she wanted to ever see him again. She just really wished she had gotten laid out of the whole deal.
“Yep. He’s the one who tried to orgasm information out of me.”
Coral did what she did best and ignored proper etiquette to gain new information. “Is this an instance of him using you? Should I be angry at him for you?”
Paisley thought about it. “The only thing I’m really angry about is that I didn’t get to finish having sex before I found out he only wanted information.”
“Did you have an orgasm?”
“Two actually.”
Coral frowned and paused for a second, before replying, “Did he have an orgasm?”
“Nope.”
Coral smiled. “Well, then he is the one that should be angry at you. That was not a mutually pleasurable trade. You got to orgasm and he didn’t get to climax or have the information he wished.”
“He was using me. You’re supposed to be upset for me.”
“Weren’t you using him for sex too?”
Paisley hated it when Coral got all logical. “That’s not the point. The point is, you’re my friend, not his, and you should be on my side on this.”
“Even if it’s illogical?”
“Especially if it’s illogical. That’s when a girl needs the most backing. When she doesn’t make sense on her own.”
Coral turned to Mr. Bond. “Paisley needs sex to release tension. Let’s get to our appointment, and if we finish early, perhaps you can finish what you started. From what I have heard, Paisley is an excellent sexual partner.”
The loud thunk was Paisley’s head smacking the center of the desk. She would probably have a red mark on her forehead for the remainder of the day, but really…did it matter?
This really was not her day.
* * * * *
There was a lot to get used to with the data management system the DMA used. Paisley was technically an assistant for the magistrate, but she was being used as a middleman between him and Coral. She was relieved that much of her day was going to be spent with someone she considered her best friend, but it also happened to mean she was going to be acting as intermediary between Coral and the humans she interacted with.
Wrangling her best friend to appropriate levels was a lot easier when Coral took commands. Her certificate of humanity had her questioning everything. At least the woman conceded to wearing clothing now that she could afford the good stuff.
The door behind Paisley opened and Coral shook Bond’s hand as he exited the room.
“I have found that shaking hands is an important humanized way to end a professional meeting,” Coral informed him. She liked giving tips to newly certified humans.
They shook hands for far, far longer than would be considered normal. But both of them had unblinking eyes glued to the handshake. They needed something to focus on as they acquired data.
Bond broke the silence with something Paisley was sure she heard wrong, and then he left.
Coral didn’t say anything before returning to her office space.
Well, technically it wasn’t her office—because even with her certificate of humanity, full-time government employ was a no no. At the end of the day, she locked up a space no one else had access to with her own key. Whatever the lawyers had to do to make themselves sleep better.
Paisley was about to ask about what Coral had said to Robohippie when the notification dinged on the computer in front of her, and Paisley could not believe it.
Coral had sent an addendum to the calendar under the label “Personal”.
In that section, dinner plans popped up. She was having dinner with Bond and his roommate.
“Why are you going to dinner with him?” Paisley asked after barging into Coral’s space.
“I am not doing this to make you jealous. He is a friend of Quinn’s.” Coral went about doing something with papers at a speed that Paisley couldn’t achieve on the highest dose of methamphetamines.
Paisley could not believe this. It was one thing for the guys she was lusting after to be friends with Quinn. It was quite another for the scrodless bot and his buddy to be hanging out with Coral, after they’d both seen Paisley naked. Twice. And she really needed more details about who she’d almost banged if they were going to be hanging around for a while.
“Coral…sweetie. This is one of those instances where I need you to fill me in on the background regarding Mr. Bond and his buddy Ben.”
Coral stopped sorting the paperwork, and a slight breeze went up as the papers floated down. “How do you know Ben?”
“It’s a long story involving a lot of lube.”
Coral smiled wide. “Sounds like some wonderful data. You should tell me about it at dinner tonight. Unless you think Ben and Jon would tell it better. You are invited of course, unless I didn’t make that clear.”
Paisley really needed to look into those optional human upgrades they were talking about in the news. She needed something to keep her head on straight if she kept Coral as her robobestie. Those microcomputer chips were supposed to be relatively painless. They also cost as much as a house.
Paisley realized part of her excitement about going to Coral’s for dinner involved the free food. Maybe she should wait on upgrading herself until she could afford not to mooch off her best friend.
Chapter Ten
Paisley knew dinner wouldn’t be fancy, but as she tucked her keycard into her purse and looked in the mirror before she left, she had to admit to herself that she had gone above and beyond what she would normally.
She had on at least four extra layers of eye shadow, because it was only by blending these colors that she brought out the flecks of gold in the overpriced eyeliner she saved for special occasions. Sure, she was wearing jeans, but these jeans were dark and expensive, and painted on her body like a second skin. If she were having dinner with just Coral and happened to put these on, she would have paired them with a flowing top to skim over her hips.
Not tonight. Tonight she was wearing a top that went to the edges of her low-cut specialty bra. Her girls looked good, especially with the contouring powder she ended up dusting to amplify her cleavage at the last minute.
Paisley wasn’t sure if she wanted to try and hook up with Ben the Hottie, make Mr. Bond regret stopping, or try and replay the scene in their apartment with much less arguing, and a lot more lube.
Having no idea what she was doing didn’t stop her from going. She was too curious—read nosy—about what was going on with them.
A throat cleared next to her as she decided she couldn’t make herself look any hotter and still wear clothes. Turning, she saw she wasn’t the only one looking good tonight.
Ben and Jon were both in the hallway. Ben wore a simple polo that hugged tight around his biceps. She could see the tendons in his arms as he awkwardly waved to her. Jon hung back and watched the interaction without the embarrassment his roommate obviously felt.
Jon’s jeans were a little looser. His shirt wasn’t as snug, but it was thin, and without touching the stylized logo across it, she could tell it would be soft. His rainbow suspenders held his waistband in place, but unlike at the coffee shop, he wasn’t wearing the knit cap. His dark hair was a bit unruly, but the thick waves were something that Paisley had an urge to dig her hands into. He’d combed his beard and all of his hair glinted in the soft lights of the hallway.
She remembered other areas of his body that had dark hair, and coughed as she double-checked that the door had latched completely.
“I guess we all get to have an awkward dinner with Quinn and Coral,” she said a
s she turned to face them.
Both men immediately dropped their eyes to her cleavage. Ben recovered fast, but Jon unabashedly kept staring.
Thank you, contour powder.
“At least we have already met. That should help reduce the need for small talk, right?” Ben was trying real hard to make this whole thing seem normal.
“So instead of chatting about the weather, we would talk about how lovely Paisley looks when her pussy is wet for me, and you stop us mid-thrust?” Jon needed some lessons in tact, but Paisley couldn’t say she disagreed with him.
“I know I said that I didn’t want either of you to speak to me again, but as long as you apologize for trying to use sex to get me to admit I’m a horrible person, I’ll accept and we can move on.”
Ben looked horrified. “You want to act as if nothing happened? I don’t know how I can do that.”
“You’ve both seen me naked. It’s not like you are the first or will be the last. I got a couple of really hot orgasms out of the deal, and I’m pretty sure the bartender downstairs was happy with the material we gave him for his next book.” Paisley ignored the confused look Ben shot her. “So as long as I’m off your awful person suspect list, I can move on…if you can.”
Jon nodded. “I don’t find you’re a suspect any longer. You are far too open and easily readable in your intentions. The deception required would not suit your personality.”
“Thanks…I think.”
They all went down to the lobby and sure enough, only one car had been sent to drive them and the back seat was terribly tight. Paisley agreed to sit in the middle because she was the smallest, but it became obvious really fast that she’d made a bad choice. Ben tried to keep to the side and give her as much space as possible, but his shoulders were far wider than his hips and she could feel his arm move against hers as he fidgeted. Jon left his legs hang open and there wasn’t an inch of her leg that wasn’t touching his.
Finally, Paisley crossed her legs toward Ben to stop herself from overheating. Jon really needed to turn down his body temperature.