by Ava Frost
I collapsed in a heap of frustrated sobs as I explained everything to Orso. I told him everything, about how I was so angry at him, and how going home to David had only made it worse. I confessed about how I felt like I had no home, no safe place where people really cared about me. I let everything spill out of me because I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. It was too much. All this stuff on top of the fact that I was still trying to come to terms with the fact that, despite growing up thinking I was just a mentally unstable but otherwise normal girl, I was a freaking bear/human hybrid creature. It was all too much. I was at my breaking point.
Orso caught me. He held me against his chest as I sobbed pathetically on his office floor. He listened. I don’t know how long we stayed there, it felt like hours. I kept waiting for him to say something, anything, to make the pain and hurt less overwhelming, but he didn’t say anything. I may as well have been leaning against a tree. After a while my tearful vent wound itself down to a long, lingering, uncomfortable silence.
Finally, I heard Orso sigh.
“You need to know about your mom.”
My spine stiffened. “What?”
“Your mom. You will find out sooner or later and it’s best you hear it from me before learning it from someone else and losing your temper.”
I glared at him. “What horrible thing did she do, then? I don’t have much love for her so I don’t know why you’d think I would lose my temper. She abandoned me, remember? I haven’t spent my whole life pining for the love of my mommy.” I lied.
“Not a horrible thing.” he said “A perfectly natural thing. She was beautiful.” His expression changed for a moment as he said it, looking at me. I took a measured breath, willing myself not to believe that he was seeing her in me. That he was thinking that I was beautiful like her.
He shook his head a bit and diverted his gaze away from me. “So it was perfectly natural for her to take advantage of that. Smart, really. Use what you have. Natural talents.”
“What are you saying?” I asked, annoyed by his meandering manner of speaking. I could feel my hackles rising, and a familiar tingling along my bones.
“Your mom was the clan slut, Ursa. I’m sorry, but you need to know. When people start to realize who you are, someone will mention it. You’ll notice the way they speak to you. You should know the truth.”
“Liar.” I spat. “I’d seen, my first day there, the sad shadow that had passed over the face of the man at the door. My mother had been beloved. I just knew it.
He shook his head and looked at me again. “She fucked her way to the top, your mom. All the way up to my dad, the previous alpha.”
I shook my head. It wasn’t possible. I didn’t know my mom, but what I did know, from my adoptive parents, was that she had cried when she left me with them. She’d been distraught. She loved me. And if she loved me, she had to be good. And if she was good, she didn’t ‘fuck her way to the top.”
“You are just trying to get me to shift again.” I said, my face growing hot.
“I’m not. I’m telling you the truth. Your mom was a slut. A whore. An untalented gold digger who convinced men that she had feelings for them only to fuck them and leave them in the dust once she’d gotten when she needed as she climbed the social ladder.”
My head ached. He had to be lying. I didn’t want to believe him. I felt myself losing control. I felt my memory start to fade, my whole life dissolving to this one single moment and this one feeling. Rage.
“Who the hell do you think you are?” I asked. I heard my own voice as if from far away. I growled. I was not myself. Some part of me, deep inside, recognized Orso’s expression change. He was watching me as if I were a scientific experiment. He looked...almost concerned.
“First you use me, flirting with me, making me think you like me, then once you got your fill you won’t even look at me anymore. Then these lies about my mom. You’re the slut, Orso. You’re the whore!” I lunged at him, but instead of fighting back, I felt his arms wrap around me, squeezing me tight.
“Shhhh….” He whispered in my ear.
I roared, the sound ripping from my throat was not human.
“Shhhh….” He repeated. “Ursa. This is it. This is what you’ve been practicing for. Remember what you learned. It’s not too late.”
I struggled against him, but he was too strong. Impossibly strong. The might of hundreds of pounds of muscle was behind his strength, but he remained in his own, human form.
“Remember who you are.” He said. “You are Ursa. You have blonde hair. And blue eyes. You like to wear leggings and giant sweaters. You’ve got a mouth on you, but you have a good heart. Can you hear me? Ursa. Remember.”
His voice came to me from far away. I was so angry, the adrenaline coursing through my veins even as my skin felt like it was tearing apart. Some small, distant part of me wanted to listen to him, though. Some small, distant part wanted to calm down, to breathe, to return to myself.
“There you go. Remember. You are fine. You are safe. I’m not your enemy. Remember when you came here and asked me to help you?”
I did remember. I took a slow, shuddering breath. It helped, so I did it again. He kept encouraging me, whispering calming words and shushing me gently like a mother rocking her babe. Over time, I returned to myself. My body ached all over like I had just woken from a high fever. I blinked a few times and looked over at him, truly seeing him for the first time.
“Did I...?”
“For a minute. You’re back now. You did good.” He said.
“What do I….I mean...What do I look like when that happens?” I asked
He smiled. “Black bear. Like your mom. Not so big, but tough.” He laughed then, seeming to breathe a sigh of relief. “Quite the little scrapper, I have to say.”
I laughed then too, nervous energy still racking through me.
His expression turned serious again and he tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear. “It was all lies, Ursa. I lied about your mom to anger you. Your mom was like a mother to us all. Especially me. My dad had been alone for a long time, before your mom found us. She was….well she was a lot like you I guess. She didn’t take any shit, but she cared. She took care of him. She took care of all of us.”
I searched his eyes. He looked so terribly sad. I’d always known he was a beautiful man, but that beauty was in his cocky grin, or his shrewd, teasing eyes. Right then I could almost imagine what he’d looked like as a kid, all elbows and knees and with a sweet, gentle face.
“What happened to her?” I asked quietly.
His lips pressed together, as if he had been expecting me to ask but still didn’t know how to answer. There was a long pause in which I waited expectantly.
“Are you sure you want to know now?”
I lifted a hand and placed it on the side of his face, gently stroking my thumb over his cheekbone. “I want to hear it from you. Please.”
His eyes held mine in an intense contact that he didn’t break as he told me the story. I’d learned in his books a bit of the history of the bear shifters, and how they had been pushed out of society by humans and hunted down. Orso told me about a band of hunters who had been threatening the clan for decades but had always been fought off successfully by the alphas. For the most part the clan members had been able to fly under the radar, only having to defend themselves once in a blue moon. But those hunters never really went away. They were always there, lurking in the shadows, waiting for a good moment to strike.
He told me that one day, my mom and his father, the previous alpha, had been spending the day together out in the woods, hiking and picnicking, just taking a break from all the cares of the world and the clan. They’d been taken completely by surprise, and had no chance to defend themselves.
They were killed together by those hunters, and left to rot in the soil.
They were found by Orso and Greg, the large man who lived full time in the mansion. Orso had been only a teenager when he became the clan leader.
"I didn't have any idea what I was doing. My dad, he was always so private. He assumed he'd have years left to teach me how to protect the clan by myself. He never expected..." Orso's voice trailed off.
"Orso, I'm so sorry." I said quietly, reaching for his hand.
He smiled weakly at me. "I'm alright. I've had a long time to grieve. Are you okay?"
I shook my head gingerly. I felt like I had experienced every emotion it was possible to experience, and in their most intense versions, in the past few hours. I was exhausted.
“Why didn’t she want me?” I asked
“She did want you.” Orso wrapped me up in his arms again, tucking my head under his chin. “She wanted you so badly. She had been like you, you know. She grew up outside of the clan. When she had you, she was terrified of hurting you. She didn’t have control of herself yet. She loved you so much, she wanted you to be safe. By the time she found us and learned how to be stable, it was too late. The adoption was closed. But she missed you so much. She loved you more than anything.”
Chapter 7
I woke up in a bed that was oddly familiar. Everything was white and cheery morning sunlight streamed in through gauzy curtains. For a moment I was confused, then the memories came back. I remembered crying, and Orso carrying me up to his room and laying me gently in the bed. I remember falling asleep, grateful for the softness beneath me.
I stretched. I was still fully clothed, sleeping on top of the blankets. Looking around, I immediately caught sight of Orso, sleeping in a chair. He looked ridiculous, his long legs and arms all awkward and uncomfortable in the chair, his head propped up on his hand.
“You didn’t have to give up your bed.” I said softly.
He woke up gently, concern showing on his face immediately after seeing I was awake.
“I didn’t want you to wake up alone. You had a hard day.”
“Orso..” I reached out a hand in his direction and he got up, crawling into the bed next to me. It felt like a magnetic force, drawing us together. I needed him. I didn’t want to believe that he was indifferent towards me.
“You’ve done so much for me.” I whispered, letting my hands graze along the scratchy stubble on his chin.
“You didn’t give me much choice.” he smiled. He brushed his fingers through my hair, sending a cascade of tingles over my shoulders and down my spine. “I just want you to be safe.”
“Because you’re the alpha.” I finished, hardening my heart slightly. He looked so vulnerable, the way he was looking at me. And he’d never touched me this tenderly before. I didn’t want to believe that he loved me. I didn’t want the pain when I realized he didn’t.
“Because you’re you.” He corrected. “I tried not to care, but you are so…” He struggled to find words, letting his fingers lightly trace my cheekbone, then the outline of my bottom lip. “So strong. And so weak. You make me feel like you could bring me to my knees, and like I would tear the world apart to protect you. Strong and weak.”
“Orso..” I whispered, afraid to believe him.”
He kissed me. So carefully, his lips barely grazed mine. My heart flipped and his fingertips tracing little designs down my arm and then across my belly felt like they left trails of electricity behind them.
“I thought I just wanted you in my bed. I thought I could get it out of my system.” He said, his lips dragging against mine as he spoke. His hands grew more bold, traveling up under my shirt, over my belly, until they came to cup my breasts.
“I was wrong. I want more. Ursa, please. I’m begging you.” He positioned himself between my thighs and, instinctively, I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him closer. “Be my queen.” He whispered hoarsely in my ear, his voice thick with desire.
The only answer I could think of was to take off his clothes. I needed him, in more ways than one. My hands and his worked together to rid ourselves of our clothes, the only hindrance now keeping us apart. He never stopped kissing me.
“Let me take care of you. Forever.” He said against my ear as he entered me slowly.
I kissed him passionately, my hips raising up to meet his slow, purposeful thrusts. The bed, with it’s pillowy blankets, surrounded us in a cloud of white. The difference between this time and the last time we’d had sex was like night and day. Where the first time had been hurried and rough, this time he was all care and sweetness. He tangled his fingers in my hair and covered my jaw and neck with kisses. He took his time. And when it was over, we slept, ensnared in each other’s limbs.
I slept soundly, for perhaps the first time in months. I was safe, protected in the knowledge that Orso loved me. I was protected by Orso and the rest of the clan. They were my family. I had finally found my home.
THE END
Guardian
Chapter 1
The set was deserted, and other than some of the designers and riggers, there were no other cast members around. It had been three months since filming began and Delilah was having the time of her life. Coming from the usual romance and drama scenes, this was a whole new challenge for her. She was the star of this film, and no longer took a back seat for the rich and famous as she had in the past. This was going to be her debut and she was looking forward to it.
“Delilah, here you are.”
It was John, the director who spoke next to her as she admired the makeup artists applying their skills on the vampires.
“Hey, I was just clearing my head a little,” she said and smiled.
“You should be filling your head with ideas for the fighting scene; it’s not working out for me.” He rubbed his hand down over his chin.
“Well, I’m doing the best I can, we’ve been on this scene for two days, I’ve pulled out all stops, what more than that I can’t do unless you want me to go for official fight training,” Delilah said and crossed her arms.
“I won’t settle for anything less than perfect, but you are right. I’ve gotten someone in to do the basics on techniques with you for the next week. After that we’ll try this scene again, but for now we’ll move on.”
“Sure,” she said despondently.
She was a black belt in Karate, so it wasn’t as if she was completely lost to the basic techniques, on top of that she felt offended the John was not happy with the progress, she was putting in all her effort to make this work. This was her first time working with the infamous director John Harrison and she was warned that he was very pedantic about how he wanted things, so she was just going to have to suck it up and move on, and if he wanted her to undergo training with a professional then so be it. That was the name of the game after all. The days of thumb sucking skills for movies were over. Nowadays, actors would go as far to go to med school just to be as authentic as possible playing an ER Doctor, so this was no different. If she was going to be a vampire slayer, she had to be believable.
As she arrived at her trailer, she noticed the door was partway open. She was almost one hundred percent sure that she closed it when she left earlier. One thing she knew about the rest of the cast, they never meddled in each other’s private matters or belongings, so she was sure that none of the cast was in here. She slowly approached her trailer. Over the past few weeks she had been plagued with threatening letters, and creepy gifts from an obviously obsessed fan. At first she ignored it and played if off as some innocent individual trying to make a point, but as it continued, she grew more and more weary. And although she didn’t share this with anyone, she was slowly starting to consider talking to her manager, Brian, about her concerns. Before she entered her trailer, she looked around to make sure that she was not completely alone, knowing that if she raised the alarm than someone would come to her rescue.
She slowly opened the door and peeked in, trying to see if anyone was there, and only once she was sure it was empty did she go inside. Everything appeared to be in place, but that was until she opened her fridge.
“Oh my god!” she cried out and slammed the fridge shut before storming out of the tr
ailer.
“What’s up?” Jose asked as he came running towards her.
“T-there… Oh my god, take it away!” she cried, with her hands shaking and her heart racing uncontrollably.
“Delilah,” he said and gripped her shoulders to make her look at him, “take what away?” he asked, searching her eyes.
Terrified she pointed at the trailer, “Fridge, its’ horrible… just take it out!” she screamed hysterically.
Other cast members started to gather, including Brian, her manager and John the director, clearly shaken, Brian pulled up a chair and got her to sit down while one of the caterers got her some water. A few seconds later, Jose exited with a plastic bag containing a dead cat.
“What the fuck?” Brian ground out, “Okay, who the fuck did that?”
Everyone stood around in shock, some of the women hid their faces in their sleeves.