Mom got up. “Help me make a salad, Kendra.” Dad put on some tunes while Mom and I chopped veggies.
“Out again? Where’s my shy girl?” Mom said, passing me a tomato.
I shrugged, but my face must have said it all; Will Beckham made me smile.
“Well, it’s nice to see you going out so much. I guess getting you back on the road was a good idea.” She chopped into a red onion. “I thought Will was going out with the Marzotti girl.”
I didn’t take the bait. “He’s breaking up with her.” I was pretty sure, based on our chemistry. My life was not the same as Mom’s. My eyes were open.
We ate our salmon while Dad told us about a court case involving a family dispute over an old forgotten property. He seemed so confident, even after a fight and possible breakup with his girlfriend. It was disturbing.
“So, Dad, did you snag that new client the other day?” I asked.
He wiped his mouth and sat back from the table. “Actually, I’m going take some time off from the office. I haven’t had a vacation in a while, and my college reunion is coming up.”
“Isn’t that great, Kendra?” Mom smiled at him. “How long do we have you for? Two weeks, three?”
“Not sure,” he said. He looked at me and smiled. “But I need to spend some time with my family.”
CHAPTER 9
By nine o’clock the island parking lot was filled with cars and trucks. I parked between Nicole’s VW Beetle and Will’s Honda. I took note of the tide and made my way over the causeway. Up ahead I could just make out Will’s shaggy blond hair, flopping as he negotiated the rocks. Tonight I wasn’t going to be shy, and I wasn’t going to let him slip away again.
“Kendra, wait up!” Jenn called.
“Where’s Doug?”
She turned as if to search for him. “He’s coming. I got a ride from Bo.”
I decided I’d better not tell her that I spent part of the day spying with her brother. “Everything okay with your boyfriend?”
She gave me a look of glee. “Yeah, boyfriend! He’s the best! I’m in love.” She jumped up and down and hugged me.
“Wow, that’s great!” I said, and I meant it. She was truly happy.
She filled me in on all of Doug’s likes and dislikes: his preferences in music (jazz), food (he’s exploring local), relationships (intense and open), and politics (liberal Democrat), views she didn’t share, as far as I knew. I was shocked that my bossy, opinionated best friend had suddenly taken up running and jazz, and I wondered if the change was permanent.
We climbed the makeshift steps and set our things down by the smoky campfire, where Bo, Will and Sam were coaxing it by blowing on it from different directions. Behind me Nicole got up and plugged some speakers into her phone. A Top 40 hit blared loudly.
“I’m being eaten alive; where’s my bug dope?” asked Nicole.
“I think it’s in your sweatshirt,” Will said. As if gasping for air, a flame leaped from beneath the pile of kindling, and then the whole thing caught.
“You’re the man, Will. Wooo!” Sam tossed his stick aside and went to his cooler. “Who wants meat?” Most people said they did, but I couldn’t eat now. I was still stuck on the fact that Will knew where Nicole’s bug dope was, and that meant they were still together.
Sam stuck a raw burger under my nose. “Kendra?”
I leaned away. “Me? No, thanks, Sam.” Will and I locked eyes over the campfire, and I didn’t look away. I sent a silent signal through the smoke: I wish you’d dump her, Will. I half closed my eyes in that sexy way, the way Nicole did. He smiled.
“What’s wrong?” Sam asked, sitting down next to me. “Is the smoke getting to you?”
I sighed and rubbed my eyes. “Just a bug.”
A few minutes later Sam held a plate out to me. “Veggie burgers are ready. Want one?” I took the burger from Sam. “Thanks,” I said, then looked across the fire at Will. Now Nicole was sitting next to him, talking to him about her boss at the restaurant and drinking from a big plastic cup. Will looked away just as I looked at him.
Soon the smell of Bo’s burgers mingled with toasted marshmallows and the scent of salt water. It was the kind of island summer night I’d always imagined, and Sam was being so nice. We’d been friends since second grade when we did a rain forest project together. Tonight he was being extra friendly, and I knew he liked me, but who was I kidding? I was only interested in Will. And there I was, stuck on a log, sitting across from him and Nicole. Behind them I could see Jenn pacing near the causeway, waiting for Doug.
“How’s your burger?” Sam asked. “Do you want another one?” He was standing before I could answer him.
“It’s good, but no thanks.”
“Do you want a drink, then?”
Sam was off before I could answer. I could tell that Doug had arrived, and he and Jenn were having a heated discussion. Sam handed a can of soda to me and poked at the fire before sitting down. Flames and sparks rose up and revealed Will and Nicole, heads close together, toasting marshmallows. My insides turned to ice.
“I hate this teeny-bopper music,” I said, jumping up. I unplugged her phone and plugged in mine, happy I had downloaded the Previous Owner Mix, and “Black Dog” blasted from the speakers. I decided I needed to do more spontaneous things like that.
“Thank you!” yelled Bo from the grill. “You are a goddess—you know that, don’t you?”
From the causeway I heard a faint, “Yes!” from Doug and Jenn.
“Hey, I was listening to that,” Nicole said. “Can you believe she changed my music, Will?”
He was next to me, refilling his plastic cup from the keg. “I hate guys who sing like girls unless they’re Robert Plant or Steven Tyler,” he said, his back turned to the fire.
“Robert who?” Nicole asked.
I smiled into my soda. There was a shift in the breeze, and some sparks floated toward us. One landed on my T-shirt, staying lit long enough to burn a perfect circle over my heart. At the grill, the guys huddled around Bo. I made my way over, and Will followed. The burgers were gone, but Sam was passing a bag of tortilla chips back and forth.
“Hey, hey, easy now, let’s share with Kendra,” Sam said. “I mean, she did save us from having to listen to Top Forty.” He came over to me.
“I heard that,” Nicole said.
I took a few chips and balanced them on my root beer can. The music had changed to quieter songs, but it was still rock and roll.
Sam came and stood beside me again, not too close, even though I knew that’s what he wanted. It made me think of how horses stand next to each other just to be close. Wow. Will on one side and Sam on the other. This is enough for me.
But I could only stand the pauses and foot shuffling so long. I pulled out my camera and took random pictures of Bo munching chips, Nicole sulking by the campfire, Doug and Jenn being intense. Back to Bo passing me chips, and then Will.
“Can I take a picture?” Will asked.
“Sure,” I said, handing the camera to him. He couldn’t see my red face in the dark, but I was sure everyone could tell I liked him by the way my voice turned whispery when I talked to him. Could he tell?
“What do I do?” he asked as he focused the lens. “Oh, this is good. I’ve got Jenn and Doug locking lips by the path. How do I take a picture?”
I showed him the button. “Right there.” He clicked. “Good.”
“My turn,” Sam said, holding out his hand.
He held the camera up and focused on me. I looked at Will, just an arm’s length away.
“How about a smile, Kendra?” Sam said.
I took Will’s arm and pulled him into the picture just as the shutter released.
* * *
Around eleven, as the fire was dying out, I caught the scent of salt again, but it had a distinct chill to it. I hadn’t kept track of the tide, and I had no idea where Jenn was. Well, I had an idea, but I wasn’t going back there again.
I ran to the steps and
looked down on the causeway. Water lapped at the rocks. Back at the fire circle, I collected my jacket and my bag and was about to unplug my phone when I felt someone at my side. It was Will.
“You going now?” he asked.
“Yeah, I have to,” I said, my hands shaking. Rushing to leave, I put the soda can in my bag. “Crap, my camera!”
“Hey, hey, let me get that.” He took the can out and I felt for my camera. Luckily, it was still dry.
“Thanks, “I said, trying to find his eyes in the dark.
“Hang out longer. I’ve barely seen you tonight.”
Because you were with Nicole, I thought.
“Okay,” I said, taking one last look at the tide. I’ve got fifteen minutes, tops, I thought. I sat down with him and took out my camera, wiping it off even though it was dry. I focused my lens on the red coals, fully aware of the body heat between us as we sat side by side.
Still looking at the fire, I asked, “Are you and Nicole a thing, still?” Click. Another spontaneous moment.
“Kind of. Do you want me to end it?”
“Of course. I mean, yeah, I thought you would after we—” I looked at the side of his face quickly, and then at my lap again. “I thought you liked me.”
“I do like you. A lot. But there are complications.”
“Complications?” I asked.
“I’m trying to get out of it, but she’s pretty intense. It’ll happen, though.” He touched my fingers. “Don’t you need to go find Jenn?” He flashed a smile and gestured to the path around the back of the island. “Back there?”
“What?” I tried to remember if she and I had a set time to meet.
“Don’t you have to go on a walk to find her?”
I flushed in the firelight. “Oh. Right.”
We got up, and I went to the path at the back of the island and made my way down to the shore. I sat on a flat rock and waited a few minutes. The night was not black but a deep blue, and the full moon lay heavy in midsky. From my spot I could clearly see Jenn and Doug sitting together on the spit of land at the end of the island. My playlist floated down from the party above. I was just starting to think I had misunderstood Will when he appeared at my side.
“Hey!” he said as he sat down.
“You made it,” I said.
“I took the secret way.” He snuggled up next to me on the rock, and we leaned into the bank together.
“Nice,” he said.
“Yeah, nice,” I said back, but I almost didn’t get it out before he started kissing me. They were long, deep, beer-scented kisses, and they were Will’s lips. And I was kissing them. I fingered his hair, amazed that it was softer than the crazy yellow mop it looked like. He nibbled my neck, which tickled, so I gently bit him back and he groaned, a sound that didn’t sound like Will at all. Then he hugged me tightly and moved me over so I was sitting on top of him. By the light of the moon, I could see him looking up at me.
“What?” I asked.
“You make me crazy, Kendra.”
“I do?”
“If you’re going to drive me crazy like this, I’m going to have to talk to Nicole really soon.” He pulled me down on him, and I lay with my face buried in his sweatshirt. The scent was light and warm, and I automatically loved it because it was Will’s scent. I wanted to lie on top of him all night and breathe him into me. I, Kendra Hope Sullivan, was not scared of what I wanted tonight. I, Kendra Hope Sullivan, wasn’t worried about the incoming tide.
We’d been making out a while, taking turns being on top, when I heard screechy, scratchy scales on a violin from the music above us back at the fire. Then what seemed like a kid’s song played. Finally, a young girl’s voice said, “Do you like it, Daddy?”
There was laughter from the group, and we laughed, too. I looked up into the stars and listened to people comment.
“Play that track again,” Bo said.
“Don’t you dare,” Sam said.
Will started in on my neck again while creeping his hand up my shirt. I squirmed a little. “Here,” he said. “Use this.” He sat up and pulled the sweatshirt over his head, revealing the trail of soft golden hair along his belly. I moved aside while he smoothed out the sweatshirt for me.
Now properly cushioned, I let him explore under my shirt. I did the same, running my fingers over his chest and down along his belt. He moaned and whispered my name. He was so beautiful to watch.
There was a crunching nearby and we both jerked up. “Who the hell is that?” Will whispered.
It was Doug and Jenn coming toward us. “Hey, you two. Is this what it looks like?”
I grinned big.
“Not quite,” said Will.
What did he mean by that?
They sat down next to us while someone at the fire circle played the violin track again. “Do you like it, Daddy?” the girl repeated.
“No, I don’t!” Doug yelled.
I adjusted my shirt and ran my hand through my hair.
“Finally, together,” Jenn said, nodding approvingly at us.
“We’re not actually together,” Will said.
I froze.
Will looked at me. “Well, I still have to, ya know…” he said, motioning up the path at an invisible Nicole.
“Oh,” Jenn said, frowning. “Right. Nicole.” She looked behind her on the rocks. “Well, there’s your chance.” Nicole stood, hands on her hips, glaring down at us.
“Shit,” Will said. He got up and raced after her, Nicole outpacing him easily.
Jenn, Doug, and I followed them, single file, back toward the fire circle. Bo and Sam weren’t at the grill or around the fire. My phone was still whining the violin songs, so I changed the track back to Zeppelin.
“Did Bo leave?” I asked. I looked over at the empty grill and wondered where he’d gone.
“Looks that way,” Doug said, indicating the bouncing flashlights on the causeway.
I held Will’s sweatshirt up to my face to inhale his smell again. He and Nicole were gathering up things from around the fire. It had really happened, but it was going to be complicated.
I turned to Jenn and whispered, “It sounds like he’s going to break up with Nicole, right?”
She nodded her head toward the far side of the fire, where there were barely any coals left. Nicole was gesturing wildly and whining loudly enough for us to hear a few choice words.
“… cheat…” she said.
“Go ahead … maybe,” Will said.
I looked at Jenn. She shrugged.
Doug appeared. “This is way too awkward. Ready?” he asked.
“Do you want to walk out with us?” Jenn asked.
“Not yet, let’s stay until…” I took a step closer to the argument while still trying to be invisible.
“… ridiculous!” Will yelled, and he came toward us at the fire circle.
Nicole came after him. “What did you do with my sweatshirt?”
My mind flashed back to her sitting beside Will, looking adorable in her baggy sweatshirt. Oh, god, I thought, holding it out like it was contaminated. Oh my god, I mouthed to Jenn.
“Here you go,” I said, handing it over.
Nicole looked at me, and then at Will.
“You bitch!” she screamed at me. “You knew he was going out with me.” Will shook his head and threw up his hands like he didn’t know what to do with her. I stood paralyzed with fear.
“What did you do, put on one of your nervous acts?” She took a step forward and yanked the sweatshirt out of my hands. “You know just how to play it, don’t you?”
I waited for Will to say something, but he was already walking down to the causeway. Nicole chased after him.
Then it was just Jenn, Doug, and me.
“That was messed up,” Doug said.
I sat on a log and stared into the coals, hoping the answers would formulate for me.
“What just happened? What do I do?” I asked Jenn.
“I don’t know,” she said, “but w
e need to kill this fire before we go.”
Doug ran down for water, and Jenn and I packed up the rest of the bottles and garbage. That was the rule. Last one off the island does the final cleanup.
Doug doused the fire, and I started down to the causeway. While I walked I went over everything Will said to me.
If you’re going to drive me crazy like this, I’m going to have to talk to Nicole really soon. You make me crazy, Kendra.
But it was complicated.
Jenn and Doug joined me halfway across the causeway.
“There he goes,” I said, pointing to Will’s Honda as it backed out. I knew his headlights; I’d memorized his car. I slung the bag across my chest and let them catch up to me.
“Hey, where did Bo take off to?” I asked.
Jenn and Doug looked at each other.
“What?” I asked. “Did something happen?”
Jenn looked at the ground. “He’s fine. He just had to go.”
Before I realized it, we were at the parking lot and trudging up the path to the cars. I slipped out of my wet shoes and clapped them together. Looking back at the island, I realized I’d come all that way on an almost high tide without having a panic attack. My thoughts were on Will, not the water.
* * *
Back home my body vibrated with a new energy. Before I went to bed, I downloaded the photos onto my computer and relived the night: Nicole whispering in Will’s ear, Bo and Sam messing around, charred paper plates on the coals. But the snapshot of the evening: Sam’s picture of Will and me. It showed how happy we could be together, even if I did pull him into the shot.
I printed it and tacked it up on the wall next to my pillow.
CHAPTER 10
“Kendra!” Mom called from downstairs. It felt too early to open my eyes, but then I remembered the picture by my pillow. There we were: Will, with his crazy blond surfer hair, and me. I shivered and smiled. This was what people meant by the expression gone. Kendra is gone.
Mom appeared in the doorway.
“Hey, is that Will and you?” She leaned in to see the picture better. “Beach Rose Island?”
“Yeah, we had a cookout there last night.” I kept my eyes on the picture.
“I dated his dad for a while.”
A Lie for a Lie Page 6