“You did everything you could with your clothes on,” he sneered. “What do you call it?”
“I call it dancing, you jerk! And I would’ve danced like that with you if you weren’t so busy doing that crazy Irish jig.”
He laughed mirthlessly. “Well, I’m real glad you got to dance with Carlos. Really made my night.”
“Don’t talk to me like that you judgmental, uptight…bird-cow man.”
“Amber…” His voice came out in a deep growl that had her heart thumping like crazy. “I won’t share you.”
She recovered fast. “Share me? I’m not with him. I’m not with you either!”
“Obviously not, or we wouldn’t have had a scene like that.”
He strode toward the car and opened her door for her. She got in and slammed it closed herself.
They drove home in silence.
Chapter Four
Three weeks later…
Barry was still stuck in involuntary celibacy and missing Amber like crazy. Sure, he’d known he wasn’t Amber’s usual type, but he’d made an effort. Did he or did he not have six-pack abs and a two-pack butt now? And they always had fun hanging out together. At least they did before they’d gone out on a date. She’d hated his date, and he’d hated hers. Any red-blooded guy would’ve hated watching their date all over another guy. She couldn’t blame him for that. He still didn’t know what went wrong with his idea for a date. Okay, she wasn’t crazy about birds, but she’d liked the beach. And then later at his shop, well, he’d wanted her to see his successful business and see him with all the kids. The kids loved the cow. He had to admit his spectacular fall with fro-yo splashed all over him hadn’t helped his cause. That didn’t exactly scream sexy.
He blew out a breath. Maybe he just wasn’t cool enough for her. She’d called him a bird-cow man. Birds weren’t cool, he supposed. Neither was dancing in a cow costume, no matter how much the kids loved it. He probably shouldn’t have done that. Sometimes he went overboard, not realizing it until it was too late. Still, there was that amazing kiss in the laundry room. The way she’d made little moaning sounds in her throat had him about to lose it right there. How could he make things right?
He fiddled around with his new Bird Bonanza app on his laptop, trying to fix a glitch in the program that kept mixing up the plumage of the birds. Maybe he should’ve just stuck to hanging out with Amber, watching that nightmare-inducing show Zombie Bonanza; then he would’ve gotten the chance to kiss her again. He hated zombies, but he loved cuddling with Amber on her sofa.
But now Amber seemed to have moved on. He’d stopped by her place twice, and she’d said she was too busy with end-of-the-school-year stuff to hang out with him. He knew that wasn’t it. The problem was him. He should’ve kissed her when he had a chance, all those nights when she’d curled up against his side watching TV. He’d been afraid she’d kick him out if he did. He shoved a hand through his shaggy hair. What was wrong with him? Why could he not seem to get his footing with Amber?
Someone knocked on his door. He jumped up. Amber! She was the only one who popped by unannounced. He swung open the door, a smile on his face.
“Hey, bro, can I crash here for a while?” his younger brother Ian asked.
He lost his smile. “Sure, come in.”
Ian dropped a duffel bag next to the sofa. His youngest brother, at twenty-four, was halfway to a doctorate in computer science at M.I.T. But Ian was notably different from Barry in one very important way. Somehow his computer nerd brother was a ladies’ man. And not just with computer science geeks, he’d even made inroads in the engineering and physics departments.
“So what’s up? Why the visit?” Barry asked, flopping down on the sofa next to his brother.
“Semester ended and campus cleared out.” Ian lifted his brows. “Translation: lack of babes.”
“Ah. So do you have a job this summer?” Barry asked.
“Nah. I thought I’d just hang.”
Barry nodded, wondering how long Ian would “just hang” at his apartment. He’d never ask. He could never kick his little brother out. And he knew Ian found it hard to stay at their mom’s house with the memories of their dad there. Their dad had died a year ago, but it was still too painful for Ian.
“What’s new with you?” Ian asked, tossing his messy, wavy brown hair out of his eyes. His brother always looked a little messy. His hair was much more unruly than Barry’s, not to mention the fact that Ian couldn’t be bothered to shave every day and had a thick layer of stubble.
“Not much,” Barry said. “Working on a new app. Still working at The Dancing Cow.”
“Cool. What’s the app about?”
Barry explained his birding app that he hoped would help with conservation efforts and showed him the error he kept running into.
“Let me see.” Ian took the laptop and dove into the coding. Ten minutes later, he handed it back. “Fixed.”
“Really?” Barry took another look.
“Your recursive loop was calling back to a variable that wasn’t even named. Are you feeling all right?”
It was a stupid mistake. He just didn’t have the single-minded focus for app development like he did when he wasn’t spending all his time wondering how to get Amber back in his arms.
“Actually, no.” Barry exhaled sharply. “I haven’t had a girlfriend in an unspeakable amount of time, and the one woman I really like, who lives across the hall, by the way, wants nothing to do with me.”
Ian nodded. “You need to get laid. Got it. We’ll get you a woman.”
“I want Amber.”
“Sure, sure. You want my advice?”
Barry just knew he was going to regret this, but his own ideas for making Amber his girlfriend had flopped. “Yes.”
Ian rubbed his hands together. “C cubed is the solution. Can you guess what the three Cs are?”
Barry thought hard. “Candy, carats, climax? Hers, I mean.”
Ian threw back his head and laughed. “It’s not about her, it’s about you. And what are you giving her carrots for? Women hate when you act like they need to lose weight. Man, you really do need my help.”
“Not carrots, carats, like diamonds—”
“Women want an alpha.”
Barry stared at his brother, who was also a long, lean string bean with zero muscles. At least Barry had some muscles now thanks to his Six-Pack Abs and Two-Pack Butt in 30 Days workout DVD, but still…no woman.
“Alphas are the confident leaders,” Ian went on. “C cubed is contacts”—he pointed to his eyes—“confidence, and condoms.”
“I don’t wear glasses.”
“Yeah, those are my three Cs. Yours might be different.” He pushed the hair out of his eyes. “But definitely the confidence one you need to get. Buy some condoms too. It’s one of those act-like-you’re-gonna-get-some-and-then-you-do kind of things.”
Hmm…he did have some condoms, but he could always buy more. He’d like to have lots and lots of sex with Amber. Morning sex, shower sex, nooners, afternoon delights, romantic night sex. All-the-time sex, basically. He had a lot of time to make up for in his celibate state, and he’d had a perpetual hard-on for Amber since the day they met.
He thought about the other C, confidence. They had mentioned confidence in Cosmo when he stumbled upon an issue online. He’d tried that with the whole looking-good thing, though, and it hadn’t helped.
Barry’s shoulders slumped. “It’s hard to have confidence when you keep getting shot down.” Or when you watch an alpha have clothes-on sex with your date on the dance floor, he added silently.
Ian got up and helped himself to a glass of water. “You gotta act like you’re all that. Then they’ll want some. Got any chips?”
“There’s pretzels in the cabinet next to the fridge.”
Ian made a face, but grabbed the bag of pretzels anyway. “Wait, I got it. Remember how you had those girls all over you senior year when you starred in Grease?”
“Ye
ah.”
Ah, memories. It wasn’t just The Pink Ladies and Sandy all over him. Half the girls in the senior class had a crush on him when he played Danny. He was that good. Of course, once the show was over, he was back to being regular old computer-nerd Barry. His girlfriend, Becky, who’d played Sandy, dumped him right after the cast party on the last night of the show. He’d been in love with her, and she’d been in love with Danny. Heartbroken, he’d moped around the house for a month.
Ian spoke around a mouthful of pretzels. “Do something like that.”
He shoved a hand through his hair. “I haven’t done any theater since high school. I’m too rusty.”
“You’ve got the chops. Just find some community theater, rehearse a bit, and audition.” Ian snapped his fingers. “Women galore. Especially if it’s Grease.”
“Maybe,” Barry allowed.
“You got any better ideas?”
“Nope.”
“All right, then, we’ve got a plan. Theater equals confidence. I’m starving. Let’s go grab a bite.”
“Sure.”
They headed out the door and passed Amber and Daisy O’Hare on their way in.
“Hi, Barry, how are you?” Daisy asked. She wore a tank top that showed her pregnant belly and a flowing skirt that ended at her ankles.
“Good. How are you?” He glanced at Amber, who immediately turned away. First step, get the woman to look at you.
“Who is this pretty lady?” Ian asked with a charming smile as he got up close and personal with Daisy.
“Daisy,” Barry said, “meet my brother Ian. And this is Amber.”
Ian only had eyes for Daisy. He lifted her hand and kissed it. “I hope to see a lot more of you, beautiful.”
Daisy raised a brow. Barry pulled his brother away from Daisy. “She’s married and pregnant. Move on.”
Daisy shook her head and smiled. “Thanks anyway, cutie.”
“How are you?” Barry asked Amber.
“Fine.” Amber’s expression was hard to read, not angry, but not friendly either.
Ian turned his attention to Amber, his eyes lingering on her bare midriff. “You are smokin’. Woo!”
Amber’s eyes flashed. “Get lost, twerp.”
“Feisty, I like it,” Ian said with a grin.
A smile tugged at her lips. “Shut up,” she said with no real force behind it.
Barry pulled his brother down the hall toward the stairs. “We’ll see you later.”
Ian stopped and turned. “Hey, you ladies want to grab a bite?”
Daisy giggled. “No, thanks. Bye!”
The brothers headed downstairs and out to the parking lot. Barry waited until they were in the car to ream his brother out.
“Didn’t I tell you Amber was the one I was interested in?” he barked.
“Yeah, so?”
“So that was Amber you were flirting with!”
He pulled out of the lot and headed to Eastman for dinner. He wouldn’t stand a chance with Amber if Ian was going for her too.
“That was the Amber?” Ian asked. “She’s hot.”
“No kidding.”
“No offense, bro, but she’s way out of your league.”
“Thanks.”
“She lives across the hall?”
“Yes.”
“Okay if I hit that?”
Barry did a double take. “No, it’s not okay if you hit that. She’s the one I’m crazy about. Don’t you dare make a move on her, Ian, or I swear I’ll kick you out. You’ll have to stay with Mom or go back to campus with no babes whatsoever.”
A beat passed.
“What about Daisy?” Ian asked.
Barry groaned. “What part of married and pregnant did you not understand?”
“She’s super hot.”
“Is this gonna be a problem?”
“I can’t help it, bro, I love women. And the women in this town are fine.”
“Just”—he unclenched his jaw with great effort—“leave Amber to me.”
“No prob. I’ll be your wingman.”
“I don’t need—”
“Yeah, you do. ‘How are you?’ is not gonna get you laid.”
Barry ground his teeth.
“Just sayin’.” Ian pulled out his cell and started texting.
Barry took a deep breath.
“And ditch the Hawaiian shirts,” Ian said. “That’s only cool in Hawaii.”
“I thought they were fun.”
Ian glanced up, taking in the green Hawaiian shirt with surfers. “Fine. Wear them. Your deprivation.”
Okay, fine, no Hawaiian shirts. That left T-shirts. Sure, they were comfortable, but there wasn’t much flair to them. Barry drove to Ernie’s diner in Eastman because he was afraid if they ate at Garner’s in Clover Park, Ian would hit on more married women that were also Barry’s customers. Geez, his brother was much worse since the last time they’d hung out together. Ian’s success with the ladies on campus had really inflated his ego.
After dinner, Ian searched for community theater info on his cell while Barry drove.
“I got it, bro. Eastman has a summer production of The Pirates of Penzance. Women love pirates. You’re gonna be set.”
“Playing a pirate sounds fun. Yeah, I could do that.”
“Not just a pirate. You, my friend, will be the Pirate King!”
He cocked a brow. “Yeah?”
“Oh, yeah. King is the top dog. I’ll pull up a song on YouTube so you can rehearse. Audition is next week.”
Nerves ran through Barry. It had been years since he’d been on stage. He’d been too busy in college and then too busy with work. He did like to perform. He performed every day at The Dancing Cow, entertaining the kids. He supposed it was like riding a bike. And if it gave him a much-needed confidence boost, maybe he could find some way to make that translate into getting Amber back into his arms.
~ ~ ~
Amber smoothed another coat of black paint onto a wooden pirate ship cutout for the Eastman community theater’s summer production of The Pirates of Penzance, with help from her friend Steph. She painted scenery for all of their summer shows ever since Steph had started singing in the chorus five years ago. They were at Eastman High School in the large band room just across the hall from the auditorium.
“So what part are you playing this summer?” Amber asked.
Steph had just auditioned a few minutes ago. Her friend said teaching fifth graders made it easy to get up on stage in front of an audience. She was prepared for anything.
“I’m one of the Major-General’s daughters,” Steph said. “I don’t know which one yet. They haven’t posted the cast list. Any of them is fine. I doubt I’ll get Mabel. Zoe Davis auditioned again this year. Her voice is amazing.”
“Cool.”
Amber knew Zoe through Daisy. They’d hung out a few times at Daisy’s parties.
“You should try out this year,” Steph said, slapping paint on in a way that Amber knew would leave lines. She’d smooth it out for her in a minute. “It’s not too late. It would be so fun to do the show together.”
Steph was always trying to get Amber to join the show. Amber usually just volunteered to paint scenery, which took about a week, then left. Amber dipped her brush in more black paint and smoothed the lines Steph had left. No matter how many times she’d told her friend how to paint smoothly in layers, she never did.
“I wouldn’t like being on stage,” Amber said.
“Try out for the Major-General’s daughters. Then I’d be right next to you.”
Amber shook her head. “That’s okay.”
“Aren’t you even curious what it’s like to be in the cast? It’s so fun, all the rehearsals over the summer, and we go out after rehearsal a lot, plus the show, and the cast party. It becomes like a family by the end.”
Amber brushed back and forth. The black would need another coat after this one. “I’m good with just painting.”
Steph put her brush down a
nd stood. “Come on. Just watch some of the auditions. I really want you to do this with me.”
She stopped painting and looked up. “Why?”
“Because you’ve been moping around, and I know you’re just going to spend the whole summer holed up in your apartment, painting.”
“I’ll go out sometimes.”
“With who? I’ll be busy here, and Daze is up to her eyeballs teaching infant massage classes and chasing Bryce around. Come on, hang out with me here this summer. It’ll be a blast.”
Amber heaved a sigh. “You’re not gonna stop bugging me about this, are you?”
Steph grinned. “No. I really want you to give it a try this year.” She held out her hand and pulled a reluctant Amber to her feet. “Obviously you like the shows, or you wouldn’t help out every year.”
“I just like to paint. I’m only here because of you, my friend.”
Steph stomped her foot in mock outrage. “Get your ass out to that auditorium.”
Amber laughed. “Fine, Miss Bossy. I’ll watch a bit, but no promises.”
She capped the paint cans and followed her friend to the auditorium. She slipped into a seat next to Steph near the front. The director, Toby, the stage manager, Edith, and the choreographer, Jasmine, sat in the row in front of them, evaluating each person. Right now, a guy with a huge beer belly was giving a version of “I am a Pirate King” that was nearing the high range of a soprano singer. His T-shirt didn’t quite meet the waistband of his sagging jeans, and he kept hitching up his pants.
Steph cringed as the man’s voice cracked. She and Steph exchanged a look.
“That’s how I would sound,” Amber whispered.
“How does a big guy like that have such a girly voice?” Steph whispered back.
The song mercifully ended. No one clapped.
“Thank you,” Toby said. “Cast list will be posted this evening at five p.m. Next!”
A tall man bounded on stage in full pirate regalia—white, puffy shirt unbuttoned to show off lots of muscular chest, a black bandana tied rakishly around his shaggy hair, a thick black belt with a sword on one side, tight black breeches, and knee-high black leather boots.
“Wow,” Steph breathed.
Almost in Love Page 6