Sam watched Saul till his own eyes ached.
He saw not so much as a hint of wariness in his brother’s eyes.
Certainly no fear or anger.
Just love.
Sam felt himself begin to uncoil, then tensed up again, ready now for the next big moment, the sixty-four thousand dollar question.
He stepped closer to the bed again, opposite Terri, looked down at Saul.
‘I need to ask you something, bro.’ He kept his voice calm. ‘It’s real important.’
Saul tore his eyes from Terri, looked up at his big brother.
‘Do you know who did this to you?’ Sam asked.
The monitor beeped erratically, and the pupils in Saul’s brown eyes dilated.
‘Saul,’ Terri said, softly. ‘Baby. Do you remember?’
Urging him, encouraging him; not a trace of a threat.
Sam’s eyes flitted to Terri’s face, saw nothing but intensity.
‘Saul – ’ he took his brother’s left hand again – ‘can you squeeze my hand?’
He felt a small movement, then a weak but definite squeeze.
‘That’s fine.’ Sam waited another moment. ‘Saul, if you know who did this to you, if you remember anything at all, squeeze my hand again.’
Pressure from Saul’s fingers, and Sam’s own heart leapt, except that Saul’s eyes were filled with distress now, and so, for all Sam knew, the squeeze was just that, distress brought on by thinking about what had happened.
‘Saul, was that a squeeze? Do you remember something?’
Saul made a sound, an awful, choking sound, and the monitors reacted accordingly, and the door opened and a doctor – name-tagged Lucy Khan – strode in, glaring at Sam and the monitor.
‘That’s it, folks,’ she said. ‘My patient needs rest.’
‘That’s OK,’ Sam said, looked at Terri, saw she was weeping, looked back at Saul. ‘It’s going to be fine, man.’
‘This is too much, too soon,’ Dr Khan said. ‘I need you to leave.’
‘Going,’ Sam told her, heading for the door. ‘We’re going to find whoever did this, don’t you worry about it.’
‘Better believe it.’ Terri wiped her eyes, and managed a smile.
‘Out,’ Lucy Khan told them.
In the corridor, Sam went directly to David and Grace.
‘He remembers what happened.’
‘Are you sure?’ David asked.
‘I’d swear to it,’ Sam told him.
‘Can I go in now?’ Grace asked.
Sam shook his head. ‘Dr Khan kicked us out. Says he has to rest.’
‘Nice woman,’ David said. ‘Smart, too.’
‘Seems to want to take good care of Saul,’ Sam said.
‘Which is all that matters,’ Grace said.
Sam saw the way she was looking at him, saw a neediness in her eyes that he’d seldom seen there before, and shame jabbed at his conscience.
‘It’s OK,’ he said softly.
He turned around, saw that Terri had vanished.
‘She went to the restroom,’ David told him.
Sam looked at his father, saw from the wry lift of his eyebrows that he’d figured out that something was up between him and Terri.
‘I didn’t have to be a genius.’ David looked at Grace, then back at Sam. ‘And right now, you two need a moment alone.’
‘Hey, Dad,’ Sam said, quickly. ‘I haven’t forgotten your theory.’
‘My theory, Einstein’s, Wolfie Cohen’s, I don’t care – ’ David walked towards the nurses’ station – ‘so long as it helps.’
‘Theory?’ Grace enquired.
‘I’ll tell you later.’ Sam checked over his shoulder. ‘Right now I need to tell you something else.’
‘Terri?’
Sam saw the awful tension around Grace’s mouth and eyes, and knew that he, almost as much as Saul’s assailant, had put it there. He felt a sudden great urge to kiss it all away, but knew he had to wait.
‘It wasn’t her,’ he said. ‘I can’t prove it, but I’d bet the farm.’
The relief, the release, almost floored her, and Sam saw her start to sway, reached out to catch her, but she was already recovering, pulling away – and suddenly there was something else in those blue eyes, a spark of anger, of resentment.
‘So now I’m off the hook?’ she said. ‘Now you can touch me again.’
‘Grace, I’m sorry.’
‘I understand.’ She shook her head. ‘I understood all through.’ Her attempt at a smile didn’t work. ‘Didn’t stop it hurting, though.’
‘Gracie.’ The name was loaded with regret. ‘I have to go.’
‘Oh,’ she said. ‘OK.’
‘Something I have to check into.’
‘Your dad’s theory?’ Again she tried to smile. ‘Go ahead.’
‘You’ll be all right?’ He was anxious as hell now about her.
‘I’ll be fine,’ Grace told him. ‘I’ll call Cathy about Saul.’
‘You should,’ Sam said. ‘Great to tell her something good.’
‘And then if we can’t get to see Saul, I’ll go home.’
‘Get some rest. You look tired.’
‘I am,’ she said, ‘a little.’
Sam was vacillating.
‘So go,’ Grace said.
‘I want to make sure you’re OK,’ he said. ‘And the baby.’
‘We’re both fine,’ she said.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said again.
‘Me, too,’ she said.
‘Where exactly are we going?’ Cathy asked at around seven thirty, a mess of signposts coming up ahead.
‘Wait and see,’ Kez told her.
‘Only I really don’t want to leave town today.’
The Golf turned on to the Florida Turnpike.
‘Kez, please, just tell me . . .’
‘Like I said,’ Kez broke in, ‘you’ll be back in plenty of time.’
Cathy felt irritated. ‘I’m not a little kid or a package.’
‘I know.’
‘Then please tell me where we’re headed.’
‘Naples,’ Kez said.
‘No way,’ Cathy protested. ‘Of all places.’
‘I know,’ Kez said again, laid her right hand briefly on Cathy’s knee, then brought it back to the gear shift. ‘It’s probably the last place you—’
‘It has nothing to do with that,’ Cathy cut in. ‘I don’t blame Naples for what happened to Saul, but I told you I didn’t want to leave town and I don’t appreciate—’
‘Hey.’ Kez glanced at her. ‘It’s OK.’
‘It’s not.’
‘I mean it’s fine. If you want me to I’ll get us turned around and straight back to Miami General.’ Kez’s eyes flicked between Cathy’s face and the road ahead. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘OK. I guess.’
‘I shouldn’t have assumed you’d be cool with being whisked away without a moment’s notice.’
‘I guess I would be cool, ordinarily.’ Cathy was regretting her overreaction.
‘It’s just this place I wanted to show you means so much to me, and we wouldn’t have to stay long. But you’re right, we can go some other time.’
Except, Cathy was painfully aware, times like this, nights like the last one, magic like that, only came along once in a very long while – had not, face it, ever come along for her before.
‘Maybe if I just call home,’ she said.
‘Sure,’ Kez said easily. ‘If that helps. Or we could still turn around.’
‘No.’ Cathy pulled her cell phone out of her bag on the floor. ‘This’ll be fine.’
‘Good,’ Kez said.
Heading for Alligator Alley.
Grace sat in her car in the hospital parking lot. The air-con already blowing cool and more than welcome. Cell phone in one hand ready to use.
Her tears had startled her, like an old pal hitting on her unexpectedly, the instant she’d finished hauling herself in behind the wheel
and shutting the door. She had not really allowed herself to weep since they’d first heard the news of Saul’s attack. But now the good news about Saul, and Sam’s sharing with her his belief in Terri; his forgiveness, the relief of it all, and then in the midst of that, her own flaring of resentment. All a little too much for one almost ‘geriatric’ mom-to-be in her eighth month.
The brief tear storm had shaken her up a little, but had helped, too. Steadied her enough, now that she’d wiped her eyes and taken a drink from her small on-board Evian bottle, to make the call to Cathy.
She pressed the speed-dial key for her daughter’s mobile.
‘I’m sorry I can’t take your call,’ Cathy’s voice said.
Voicemail.
‘Sweetheart, it’s me,’ Grace said. ‘Calling with wonderful news.’ Part of her mind flashed to how great Cathy would feel hearing her words. ‘Saul’s awake and according to the doctors, he’s doing really well all things considered.’ About to sign off, she added: ‘No point rushing over to Miami General though, because they want him to rest, which is very frustrating for us all, but they know what they’re doing.’ The baby kicked her hard and she smiled, went quickly on. ‘Have a wonderful time, whatever you’re doing, and say hi to Kez from us all. We love you, Cathy.’
‘It’s the machine,’ Cathy said to Kez.
‘Leave a message,’ Kez told her.
‘What if something’s wrong?’ Cathy ended the call.
‘It’s not the middle of the night.’ Kez sounded irritated.
‘Sam’ll have gone to work,’ Cathy said, ‘but Grace ought to be home.’
‘Gone shopping,’ Kez suggested.
‘Too early,’ Cathy said. ‘Not Grace’s thing.’
‘Taking a shower,’ Kez said. ‘Walking the dog.’
‘Could be, though that’s usually Sam first thing.’
‘First day back,’ Kez said. ‘He probably left earlier than usual.’
‘I guess Grace could be walking Woody or taking a shower.’ Cathy paused. ‘She sometimes makes house calls too, pre-school.’
‘There you are, then,’ Kez said. ‘No need to worry.’
‘I’ll leave a message.’
Cathy called again, waited a moment.
‘Hi, everyone, it’s me. Hope Saul’s doing well – hope you’re all OK.’ She considered apologizing for staying out, then decided against it. ‘I just wanted to let you know Kez and I are going to Naples for a couple of hours – yeah, I know I just got back, but we have to go see something important. If there’s any news, any change with Saul, can you please, please call me right away.’ She paused again. ‘Love you.’
She ended the call, tucked the phone back in her bag.
‘Better?’ Kez asked.
‘I guess,’ Cathy said.
She had stayed in hiding in the restroom, going in and out of cubicles, washing her hands when other women came in and then, when she was alone again, opening the outer door a crack now and again until she was sure they had all gone.
Sam first, then Grace, then David.
She waited while Dr Khan went back into Saul’s room, came out again, wrote up some notes at the nurses’ station, handed over a folder, then disappeared into one of the elevators.
And then, while all was quiet, she slipped into the room.
Saul was sleeping.
Terri sat down quietly on the visitor’s chair nearest his bed.
Watching him. The tubes and electrode pads, the padding and bandages around his neck, the whole dreadful, life-saving picture.
Her mind was almost numb. Not numb enough.
The machines droned and beeped, Saul’s chest rose and fell, and Terri began to realize how tired she was, and if he didn’t wake again soon she was going to have to rouse him, and she hated to disturb his rest, but this might be the only time she had to be alone with him and she needed that so badly.
Saul opened his eyes.
They smiled as soon as he saw her, warming her through.
‘Thank you,’ she said.
His left hand moved to the tube in his neck.
‘Leave that, baby,’ she told him gently, took his hand in hers and held it.
He made a sound, from some place between his throat and chest.
‘It’s OK,’ Terri told him. ‘You’re going to be OK.’
He closed his eyes briefly, and when he opened them, they were filled with tears.
‘I’m so sorry,’ she said. ‘I need you to understand how much I mean that. I love you so much, but it’s all my fault, I know that.’
Saul shook his head as well as he could, and another sound, more like a moan, escaped him.
‘It’s true.’ Terri bent her head over his hand, kissed it, held it to her cheek. ‘If I hadn’t walked out on you, if we’d been together, this wouldn’t have happened to you.’
Saul pulled his hand away.
‘You hate me,’ Terri said, ‘and I can’t blame you. And if you hate me for ever, I’ll understand, but I need you to understand how much I love you, baby.’
She realized suddenly that something was happening.
Saul had not just withdrawn his hand out of anger.
He was pointing. Past her.
‘What is it?’ Terri asked. ‘Something you need?’
He made another sound – of effort, she thought – pointed again, and Terri half rose from her chair.
‘Want me to find someone?’
He shook his head again, and now she saw that he was pointing at her bag, at the shoulder bag she’d dumped on the floor when she came in.
‘My bag?’ she asked. ‘Something in my bag?’
She got up, went to fetch it, held it out in front of him.
Saul pointed again.
‘This?’ Terri took out the Miami Herald, rolled and sticking out of one corner of the canvas bag. ‘Is this what you want?’
He flattened out his hand.
‘OK.’ She laid the newspaper out on the bed. ‘Like this?’
Another grunt of effort and he was pointing again, his eyes straining.
‘Closer?’ Terri moved the paper further up the bed, wary of the tubes, conscious too of the risk of infection, certain that if a nurse or Dr Khan were to come in right now, they would kick her straight out.
She could see that Saul was having some problems focusing on the front page, was at a loss to know how to help him – but suddenly his index finger was straight out, shaky but pointing at one of the headlines.
‘This?’ She motioned to it with her own hand.
He shook his head again, and the cardiac monitor sent out beeps, and Terri knew that any minute now a nurse would come in, but there was nothing she could do . . .
And then she realized he was pointing at a single word in the headline.
KIDNAPPER
‘Kidnapper?’ She said the word out loud.
Saul shook his head yet again, pointed again.
At the first letter.
‘K?’ Terri asked.
A nod at last, another wince and his finger was travelling to the right, so shakily that it took another moment for Terri to establish which letter was next.
‘E?’
Saul let his hand drop, exhausted.
‘K.E.?’ Terri was perplexed. ‘Is that it?’
His eyes were moving, roaming over the whole front page.
‘OK,’ she encouraged him. ‘You’re looking for more, right?’
Back and forth, up and down, and Saul was paler, sweating, and Terri cast a glance back at the door, willing medics and nurses to stay out just a little longer.
His hand lifted off the covers again, finger back at work targeting one more letter, finding it, it seemed, in a piece about a drowning.
Down to one word again.
CAPSIZED
One letter.
Z.
His hand dropped down again and he lay back, drained.
‘Z?’ Terri said.
Spelt it out.
‘K
.E.Z.’
Realized what she had said, forehead creasing, bewildered.
‘Kez?’ She stared at Saul, scarcely able to believe it. ‘Is that it? Is that what you’re telling me?’
His eyes told the rest.
‘Oh dear God,’ Terri said.
Chapter Twenty-three
Grace was back home in her office, had just finished playing back her messages when a new call came in from the hospital.
She listened briefly, heard the caller tell her that Saul was in an increasing state of agitation and that Dr Khan now felt that it might be helpful if one of the family could return to Miami General.
‘Of course,’ Grace said. ‘I’ll contact my husband and Dr Becket right away, and we’ll be there as soon as we can.’
‘Can I help?’ Lucia came through the door, Woody still at the end of his leash, tail wagging after their walk – often Lucia’s first chore of the day – as Grace got back to her feet. ‘Is it Saul?’
‘Nothing terrible, don’t fret,’ Grace told her. ‘But I need to call—’
‘I heard.’ Lucia bent to unclip the leash. ‘Shall I make the calls for you?’
Grace shook her head. ‘I can do it on the way.’
They went out into the hallway together.
‘I didn’t see Cathy’s car outside.’ Lucia said. ‘Would you like me to get hold of her? I’d like to be of some use.’
‘There’s no point.’ Grace picked up her keys from the hall table. ‘I just had a message from her saying she’s en route to Naples with a friend, so I think I’d rather wait a little while before I yank them back, see how Saul’s doing first.’ She opened the front door. ‘God knows Cathy could use a day away.’
She caught Lucia’s expression just before she turned away.
Barely veiled disapproval, reminding her strongly of how Dora had been in Cathy’s early days with them. And though Grace realized that Lucia’s only sin was in feeling that Cathy’s place right now was with family, not friends, the look annoyed her nonetheless. It seemed to her, as she got back in the Toyota and slammed the door, that where Cathy was concerned, even some of the nicest people – people who ought, therefore, to know a damned sight better – still tended to judge her.
Which frankly made Grace even more glad that Cathy had found someone she cared about and who, she hoped with all her heart, cared about her in return and would not let her down.
Terri sat in her car, thoughts whirling.
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