Logan glanced at me quickly, then turned his eyes back to the road. “I’m not nervous.” He swung the car into the driveway of the Chamberlain, a luxury hotel in the nice part of town.
“What are we stopping here for?” I asked, nonplussed. I stared up at the large building. “I thought we were going straight to your place.”
“This is my place,” Logan said, putting the car in park and turning off the engine.
I looked at him blankly, not understanding. “What do you mean? Do you live in a hotel?” Logan nodded. “Well, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Although, you really should be renting an apartment. You’re practically throwing money to the wind by doing this instead of renting.” Logan gave me a funny look, but didn’t say anything. Instead, he pressed a kiss to my lips and reached across my lap to open my door for me.
I got out of the car and opened the back door for Luke to jump out. Logan grabbed our bags from the trunk, slung them over his shoulder, and pointed towards the entrance to the interior of the hotel.
“Wait, are we allowed to bring another dog into your room? Doesn’t Dylan stay with you too? How am I supposed to get naked with Dylan around? Isn’t it going to be crowded with three adults and two dogs?” I asked, wondering if we shouldn’t have just stayed at my place after all.
“Hey, you’re the one that wanted to come over,” Logan said, shrugging. I must’ve looked chagrined, because he grabbed my hand, interlacing the fingers, and kissed my temple. “I’m kidding. Don’t worry about it, there is going to be plenty of room.” We walked through the lobby hand-in-hand and boarded the elevator together.
I looked at the lit-up keys on the panel and asked Logan, “What floor?”
He fumbled in his pockets, producing his keys again, and said, “I’ll get it.” He inserted his key, turned it to the right, and pressed the button labeled “PH.” I looked on in confusion. I’d never been to a hotel before that required keys for the elevator.
“PH?” I asked. “What is PH?”
“Penthouse,” Logan said, looking down at me from the corner of his eye.
“Penthouse?” I asked, a string of questions coming to mind. Before I could ask them, though, the elevator dinged and the doors opened, revealing a beautiful foyer.
We exited the elevator, still holding hands, while I looked at my surroundings in awe- and confusion. The foyer opened up into a full living room, complete with fireplace, large fish tank, a sofa and a love seat. There was a complete dining room to our left, and beyond that, a full kitchen. Okay, this is not a normal hotel room.
“Geez. How big is this place?” I exclaimed, unclipping Luke’s leash so he could sniff around. Rocket bounded out from behind a doorway, almost knocking me down with the force of his greeting, and showered my face with kisses. Logan pulled him off me and calmed him down. He let go of Rocket’s collar and the two dogs ran off together, nipping at each other’s heels.
“It’s five thousand square feet, I think,” Logan said casually.
“Five THOUSAND?”I said. “That’s literally five times the size of my apartment.” Logan just shrugged. “Logan, how can you afford this? You own a failing bar.”
“No, I bought a failing bar. It’s now a thriving bar, thank you very much,” Logan said defensively. “Besides, I have some money coming in from the other bars.”
“The other bars? What other bars?” I asked. The memory of Joe telling me Logan was a bar flipper floated back to the surface, and I suddenly felt very stupid. “Of course you own other bars. Logan, are you rich?”
He shrugged again. “Does it matter?”
I stared at him, jaw slackened. “Uh, it matters a little. You never told me,” I accused.
Logan’s shoulders tensed up and his mouth formed a straight line. “Why does it matter, Jamie? Does me having money make me more attractive to you?” I did not like where that line of thought was going. “See, this is why I don’t tell women that I have money, so that I don’t encounter gold-diggers.”
“Logan, you can stop right there before you dig yourself into a hole you can’t get out of,” I said angrily. “I am not a gold-digger. I have been fucking your brains out for the past couple of weeks when I thought you were thousands of dollars in debt, so no, I’m not interested in your money. You need to get that chip off your shoulder, right now.” The more I thought about what he’d insinuated, the angrier I became. Logan instantly became contrite, stepping forward and pulling me into his arms.
“Hey, hey, I’m sorry. I don’t think that of you, honestly,” he kissed the top of my head. “It was just a knee-jerk reaction to the money questions, really. Forgive me?” He pulled back to look down into my face. I nodded reluctantly, though I was still shaking in anger.
Logan kissed me and I kept my lips shut. He kept pressing insistently on my lips until they parted, conceding to the kiss. “Jamie,” he sighed. “Let’s just go find my bedroom, shall we?” He grabbed me by the hand, and we walked down the hallway quietly, trying not to disturb Dylan. His bedroom was, of course, fancier than my bedroom by about a billion times, and the centerpiece was a California King bed with a mass of fluffy pillows on it.
“You’ve been skipping out on this bed to stay in mine?” I asked in awe.
“Well, the company is better at your place,” Logan said, pulling off his shirt. I purposely didn’t look at his abs. I was still a little angry, and didn’t want to get turned on and lose the anger. Childish? Maybe.
“Can we just go to sleep?” I asked. “I’m wiped.”
Logan nodded, holding out his hand. “Are we okay?”
Annoyed though I was, I couldn’t stand the uncertainty on his face. I pushed up to my knees and hugged him. I nodded into his chest and said, “Yes, of course. I’m just tired.”
“Okay, good. I don’t like to go to bed angry,” he said. “I’ll go walk the dogs before we all turn in, then I’ll join you.” He turned off the light, and the bedroom door clicked shut. I drifted off to sleep, awakening when Logan crawled back into bed with me. He pulled me up against his front, spooning me, and kissed my neck. I pretended to still be asleep, and soon I was listening to Logan’s snores while I thought about what he had said earlier.
It stung that the first thing he jumped to was gold digger. Maybe I shouldn’t have made such a big deal about asking Logan if he had money. Maybe I had seemed as a little too impressed by it. What I knew is that I didn’t want to lose this great guy and whatever we were doing over something stupid like money. I was afraid that a wedge had already been placed between us, though, and I’d been the one to jam it in.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Things were a little tense between Logan and I for the next week, and my insecurities and anxiety were overwhelming. I felt the weight of what he’d accused me of every time we hung out. Logan had apologized and assured me repeatedly that he didn’t think I was after his money, but it was still there, niggling at the back of my mind.
It was Saturday morning, and we were in bed at Logan’s hotel. I had worked until midnight the night before and Hannah had closed the bar. Logan left with me, insisting we go to his hotel. We’d been too tired to do anything but sleep by the time we got there. I was knocked out as soon as my head hit the pillow, and I’m sure Logan was right behind me. He was still asleep when we woke up, snoring softly. I laid with my head on his bare chest, tracing the hair there with my fingertips.
I felt a sudden rush of longing for him, like I needed a way to feel close to him, to find a way to banish all this lingering doubt in my mind. I sat up, pushing the bedspread off me, and swung my leg around his hip, straddling him. His heartbeat was visible in the hollow of his neck, and I leaned over to kiss it. I licked and nipped at his neck, watching his heartbeat grow faster as I nuzzled. His hands lazily moved over my thighs, coming to rest on my hips.
“Good morning, gorgeous,” Logan said sleepily, kissing me deeply. I loved that he still thought I was gorgeous when I had less-than-gorgeous morning breath and bedhead. I k
issed him back, peeling off my tee shirt and lifting my hips to take off my panties. My kisses became frantic and my hands were everywhere on him. I needed him inside me now. Logan obliged happily, pulling his boxers down to reveal his truly impressive morning wood. I climbed on, sinking down and taking him into me fully. I rocked my hips, generating delicious friction that made me throw my head back with my eyes closed. I tried to fuck all the doubt about us, what we were doing here, whether this was even realistic, out of my mind. I came after about a minute, with Logan close behind. It had been a nice orgasm, but the swirling doubts reappeared in my head soon after.
I collapsed on top of Logan, frowning, and he wrapped his arm around me, holding me close. “Jamie?” he asked, kissing my forehead on the sheen of sweat that had formed there. “What’s wrong?”
I played dumb. “Nothing is wrong.”
Logan narrowed his eyes at me. “Don’t lie to me. You’re upset. Come to think of it, you’ve been weird for a week.”
I forced a laugh. “You’re imagining things. We’re both just tired.” The last thing I needed was for Logan to know about all my neuroses, and then leave me because I was a neurotic gold digger. His eyes stayed narrow, and I kissed his furrowed brow to reassure him. “So, what are we doing today? Beach day?”
Logan was super busy, but he had been making it a point to take Saturdays off so that we could spend the whole day together. We’ve been taking the dogs down to the beach, and I’ve been hanging out with Luke while Logan and Rocket ran a few miles. Then we’d either spend the day swimming or sunning, then grab some takeout and make love until we fell asleep. All in all, not a bad way to spend a Saturday.
Logan fidgeted a little, shifting me off of him. He rose up on one elbow, supporting his head with his hand. “I have something to ask you.”
Uh oh. “Yeah?” I said, not sure I wanted to hear it.
“So my mom texted me last night. She was driving down this way and decided to stop in Virginia Beach. She wants to grab lunch and see Bender’s,” Logan said.
Disappointment bloomed in my chest. “Oh. Okay. Well, I guess it’s probably a good thing for me to head home and work more on my novel,” I said, trying to sound chipper.
“No, I want you to come with us,” Logan said, grabbing my hand. “Do you want to meet my mother?”
I stared back, words failing me. We’d only been sleeping together for a month, and we hadn’t even made it official. Meeting a parent? That was a huge step, one I wasn’t sure we were at yet.
I found myself nodding in spite of myself. “Yeah, that sounds lovely. When are we meeting her?”
A broad grin spread across Logan’s face, relief evident in his eyes. “Noon, at Ciao Trattoria.”
“Ooh, fancy,” I said. “We’re going to have to shower right now and get back to my place so I can throw on clothes that are appropriate for that kind of place.”
Logan gave me a wolfish grin, and stood up, scooping me up on the way. “Your wish is my command,” he said, carrying me to the bathroom. We took a quick shower that could’ve gone a lot quicker if Logan hadn’t been so diligent about washing my breasts. (“Just trying to be thorough.”)
We hurried through the front door at five past eleven, and I tossed a hurried “bye!” over my shoulder to Dylan, who was reclining on the couch with Rocket and Luke. By the time we’d gotten to my apartment, threw on a nice dress, and put some mascara on, it was quarter to noon. Ciao Trattoria was fifteen minutes from my apartment, so barring traffic or an unforeseen catastrophe, we’d be there exactly on time.
Thanks to Logan’s insane driving, we made it to the parking lot with five minutes to spare. Logan threw the car in park, grabbed my hand, and led the way into the upscale restaurant. We told the hostess Logan’s name, and she led us to a table on the outside patio. An elegant brunette in her late fifties was sitting on the patio. She had a glass of white wine in front of her, and there were two other place settings at the table. She stood when she saw Logan, smiling warmly and kissing him on each cheek. She turned to me and held her hand out. I took her hand and returned the delicate handshake.
“Mother,” Logan said. “Let me introduce Jamie, my girlfriend.” Girlfriend? I reeled, trying to keep my face impassive. We hadn’t discussed being boyfriend and girlfriend yet. I was spinning out slightly, but I hid it well. I smiled widely. “Jamie, this is my mother Emma.”
Emma’s smile froze, becoming forced and stiff. She still held on to my hand, but her grip had tightened. “Girlfriend? That’s interesting.”
What the hell? I ignored her comment. I had enough to deal with what with my own uncertainty over being a girlfriend without Emma’s condescension thrown in the mix. Logan cleared his throat uncomfortably, pulling out a chair for me. I sat down and Logan scooted the chair in, then repeated the process for his mother, finally taking his own seat. The waiter came by and Logan ordered us a bottle of wine. Thank goodness. I’m gonna need it. I should probably make it two to be safe. I smiled sweetly at his mother, waiting for her to open up the conversation.
“So, Jamie,” Emma said, sipping from her wine glass. “What do you do?”
Thankfully, the waiter came back with our wine bottle at that moment, so I had time to figure out my answer while he presented the wine to us. He poured the wine, then Emma waved him away, which made me want to punch her. She looked pointedly at me.
“I’m a bartender,” I said, swigging from my wineglass.
“And a writer,” Logan interjected quickly. “She’s got a degree, she’s just bartending for now until the writing takes off.” Annoyed, I turned to Logan with a long look, then turned back to Emma with a smile. She smiled tightly and didn’t say anything.
“He’s right,” I said, sipping my wine. The undercurrent here clearly screamed “You’re not good enough for my son!” I was miffed at Logan for being so quick to point out that I wasn’t just a lowly bartender. It didn’t really raise my confidence in Logan’s regard for me. “I’m a writer, but I’ve spent a lot more time bartending than writing, so really, I’m a bartender.”
Logan squeezed my hand. “That’s how we met, actually. She was slacking off and reading behind the bar at Bender’s. She caught my eye immediately.” He smiled reassuringly at me. I squeezed his hand back halfheartedly.
“I bet she did,” Emma murmured. She smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. She stared at me intently over the rim of her wine glass, and I squirmed under her intense scrutiny. The waiter came back to take our orders, and we all looked down at our menus.
Emma went first. “I’ll have the salmon, cooked medium rare, with a side of steamed broccoli, and make sure that not a drop of oil or butter touches the pan.” She handed her menu back to the waiter dismissively, then looked at Logan.
“I’ll have the pasta primavera, please,” Logan said, giving the waiter a friendly smile. “Oil and butter is okay by me.”
I smiled, then ordered the lasagna.
“Oh, good choice. I wish I could eat food like that, Jamie. I find I have to watch what I eat, though, so I don’t get chubby,” Emma said with a smirk.
Logan chuckled and I squirmed more uncomfortably. There’s no way Logan wasn’t seeing the passive aggression here. Right?
“Well, I do a lot of biking,” I said tightly. There wasn’t enough wine in the world at that moment.
“So, Jamie, are you planning on moving to New York with Logan?” Emma asked. Logan choked on his wine, then looked at me, slightly panicky.
“No?” I said unsurely. “I love it here, and I’m pretty set on staying forever.”
Emma looked back and forth between Logan and me. “Well, how do you two plan on seeing each other when he comes back home at the end of July?”
Gobsmacked, I looked at Logan. He closed his eyes tightly and pursed his mouth, holding on tightly to the hand I was trying to extricate from his under the table. There’s no way he was going back to New York, not without telling me. She must mean as a visit. “Oh, I’d love
to go with him on his next visit up there.”
Emma smiled uncomfortably. “Logan, you haven’t told this poor girl? You really can’t keep stuff like that to yourself.”
“Mother,” Logan said tersely. “I hadn’t decided yet for sure.”
She let out a bark of laughter. “Don’t be absurd. Of course you’re coming back to New York, you have the company to run.”
Speechless, I grabbed the bottle of wine from the wine chiller and poured myself a tall glass. I kept my hands firmly in my lap and on my wine glass. When Logan reached for my hand again, his eyes pleading, I kept my eyes down and claimed I needed to use the restroom. I got up and quickly made my way to the bathroom, trying to rein in the anger that was spiraling out of control.
I splashed water on my face and stared into the bathroom mirror. I knew it was too good to be true. All this time I had been waiting for the other shoe to drop, and here it was- a clown-sized shoe made of lead. Of course I was just a townie to Logan. That’s why he had been so secretive about his money situation, and the small matter of whether or not he lived here. He had just been jerking me around after all.
Even if he weren’t jerking me around, I sure as hell wasn’t moving to New York, and it really didn’t seem like Logan could stay in Virginia Beach. He had the company to run. His mother had looked at me as if I were a bug she’d found squashed under her Louboutins. Logan possibly thought I was a gold digger, and definitely didn’t think I was good enough for him the way I am now. I’d never felt so much lower-class than anyone else before. This was untenable.
I guess this was the end. I closed my eyes, holding back the tears. I regretted the wine- wine always made me weepy, and I needed to look as normal as possible by the time I got back to that table. There was no way I was letting Emma see me with puffy eyes from crying.
I composed myself and stepped out of the bathroom, letting the door slam shut behind me. Logan was standing in the hallway just outside the bathroom with his head down, staring at his shoes, hands in his pockets. He looked up at the sound of the door slamming and moved toward me. I recoiled, knowing that if he touched me, I would be weak. I knew what I had to do.
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