by Miranda Lee
A heavy silence fell between them, almost as heavy as Audrey’s heart.
Suddenly, Elliot got to his feet, forcing her to look up at him.
‘I must be going,’ he said matter-of-factly. ‘I need eight hours’ sleep if I’m to be a bright and breezy driving instructor in the morning.’
Her chest tightened. She had forgotten about the car. And the driving lessons. Oh, God... She didn’t know which would be worse, trying to conquer her fear of driving, or continuing to see Elliot. Both would bring her pain, one from the past, the other ongoing.
Audrey closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them and stood up. ‘You...you don’t have to, you know,’ she said in a strangled voice, her eyes bleak. ‘I could always go to a driving school.’
‘Is that what you’d prefer to do?’ he asked softly.
She did her best to keep her gaze steady, to hide the emotions she felt sure had to be mirrored in them. The love...the need...the yearning...
At the final moment she couldn’t lie. ‘No,’ she confessed. ‘I’d rather you teach me.’
He said absolutely nothing, frowning grey eyes skating over her as she stood there. She felt awkward and far too aware of him.
‘I...I know you don’t really want to,’ she went on shakily. ‘You’re just being kind again.’
The muscles in his jaw flinched. ‘Is there some crime against being kind?’
‘No... But no one likes to be pitied!’ she added with a flash of fire.
His sigh was frustrated. ‘Who said what I feel for you is pity?’
‘Oh, do be honest, Elliot,’ she flared some more. ‘Do you think I don’t know why you came tonight, why you covered up for me, why you even gave me this beautiful necklace?’ She touched it with tremulous fingers.
He reached out to curl strong hands over her shoulders, his expression almost angry. ‘You don’t know the first damned thing about why I came here tonight,’ he ground out. ‘You don’t know anything about me at all except what you’ve been romanticising in that idealistic young head of yours. I’m not a kind man, Audrey. Not at all. But I am honest. Sure, I pitied you. Why not? You’ve had a rough deal from what I can see. You needed someone on your side for once and I elected myself. But if you think I’m the original White Knight you couldn’t be more mistaken. I can be as black as the next bastard. Blacker even than your Russell!’
He gave a bitter laugh. ‘Want some more honesty? Well, you’re perfectly correct. I don’t want to teach you to drive. I don’t want to see you again at all. But it’s not because of the reasons your inferiority complex is sure to invent. Quite the opposite, in fact. It’s because I’m worried I might end up seducing you, you silly little fool.’
Audrey blinked up at him in amazement. What was he saying? That he found her attractive, even desirable? The idea sent her heart thudding madly in her chest.
‘Even now I have this crazy impulse to kiss you,’ he raved on, his grip tightening on her shoulders. ‘The trouble is I won’t want to stop with kissing. Before I know it, I’ll want soft flesh under my hands. Soft...warm...moist...female...flesh. I’ll want to sink into that flesh, lose myself in it. Touch it...taste it...’
Audrey’s whole head was positively whirling. She could do nothing but stand there, staring up at him in breathless arousal, his evocatively explicit words blasting hot images into her brain, sending the blood roaring through her veins.
For a long long moment he glared down at her, grey eyes glittering. And then his head began moving, sinking down towards her, his impassioned gaze intent on her mouth.
Her lips parted in a silent gasp.
He’s going to kiss me, she thought in a dazed wonder.
But then he suddenly straightened, a deep shudder reverberating through him as he reefed his hands away from her body and stepped backward.
‘Dammit,’ he growled. ‘I can’t. I mustn’t!’
‘But...but why not?’ she burst out in a surge of compulsive desire. ‘I...I want you to kiss me. I want you to make love to me,’ she finished, every part of her starting to quiver.
He was tempted. She could see he was tempted. His eyes locked on to her mouth, his whole body filled with a vibrating tension that brought an electric atmosphere to the room. Audrey scooped in and held her breath, hardly daring to imagine what was coming next. She still hadn’t come to terms with what she herself had just said. My God, she had never been so bold in her whole life!
But at the last second he groaned and whirled away, his hands literally shaking as they raked back through his thick dark hair. He uttered an obscenity under his breath, then strode over to pour himself a drink from one of the decanters resting next to the remains of her birthday cake. It looked like bourbon.
Audrey watched with her mouth open as he downed the whisky with one swallow. What was he going to do? she wondered in breathless excitement. But when he swung back to face her, eyes full of a furious exasperation, she took a nervous step backwards.
‘Haven’t you learnt anything at all from your experience with Russell?’ he flung across the room at her. ‘For God’s sake, Audrey, you don’t go offering yourself like that to men you don’t really know.’
‘But I...I do know you,’ she protested in confusion.
‘What do you know?’ he scoffed. ‘My age? My marital status? My qualifications? What do they tell you about what sort of man I really am...inside? Not a damned thing!’
‘I know that you’re good and kind,’ she insisted. ‘I know you wouldn’t deliberately hurt me.’
His laughter was bitter. ‘You haven’t listened to a word I’ve said, have you?’ He began to walk slowly back towards her, his expression sardonic. ‘I’m none of those things. I’m merely suffering from a lingering conscience after living with a woman like Moira. Some of her character must have rubbed off on me. But I doubt it will last. Fact is,’ he drawled, his eyes dropping to where her breasts were rising and falling beneath the tight cream silk, ‘I can feel it weakening already.’
Her face flamed as her nipples sprang to attention under his smouldering gaze.
‘Good and kind,’ he scorned. And with a stunning swiftness grabbed her, yanking her hard against him, enfolding her trembling softness within a body which, at that moment, was totally terrifyingly hard. ‘Good and kind!’ he repeated, laughing, both hands sliding up to hold the back of her head in a vice-like grip. ‘Would a good and kind man do this?’
His mouth was hot and angry as it closed over hers. Totally without compromise. Totally without conscience. It demanded and took, brooking no opposition, no struggles this time. It forced her lips apart, forced her to accept his thrusting tongue with an aggressive dominance that took her breath away.
It was not the sort of kiss Audrey had dreamt about from Elliot. Not at all. But much as a part of her was shocked—even frightened—by the quality of violence in his actions, her feelings for this man would not allow her to remain unmoved under such a passionate onslaught. Within seconds she was responding, her own desire sparking a speedy willingness, her lips falling further open beneath his. Her arms tore out from where they’d been squashed between them, wrapping themselves securely around his hard male torso.
His mouth gasped from hers, as though in shock of such co-operation. But it quickly returned, more gently this time, giving Audrey a glimpse of true sexual expertise. Now Elliot was seducing her, his tongue playing with hers, his hands cradling her head. His thumbs started rubbing tantalisingly over her ears, her lobes, making her shiver with delight. He kept turning her head this way and that, exploring different sections of her mouth, each foray of his tongue sending shuddering waves of heat and excitement all through her.
It became harder to think. Harder and harder. All she knew was that it hadn’t been like this with Russell. Not even remotely.
When a dazed moan came from deep within her throat, Elliot actually trembled, groaning and gathering her even tighter against him. One hand remained to splay up into her hair, the othe
r sweeping down her spine, then over the swell of her buttocks. She could feel the heat of his hand through her dress as it moulded over one of her cheeks, squeezing it, grasping it, lifting and pressing her body hard against his. She could feel his arousal against her.
Once again, his mouth tore away from hers, this time to traverse down her throat, leaving a moist, ravaged trail behind. She gasped, then groaned when he started sucking her flesh, tipping her head back in a gesture of sheer ecstasy. She gasped even more when he swept her up into his arms and began to carry her from the room.
‘Where’s your room?’ he rasped, already striding across the foyer and heading for the stairs.
‘The first...first on the r...right,’ she stammered, momentarily stunned by the speed with which everything was happening.
It was as he began taking the steps two at a time that she remembered the one impediment to what he was obviously intending to do.
‘Elliot,’ she choked out. ‘We can’t!’
Clearly the desperate anguish in her voice communicated itself to him for he faltered, glaring down at her with eyes she barely recognised. There was none of the cool sophisticate in those turbulent grey pools at that moment. ‘What do you mean, we can’t?’ he growled. ‘What’s to stop us?’
‘Me. I mean, I...I have my period,’ she said in a small voice.
‘Your period,’ he repeated flatly, and closed his eyes.
‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered, feeling deeply embarrassed and physically wretched. Did he think she didn’t want him too? My God, she ached from wanting him.
‘She’s sorry...’ He shook his head and opened his eyes. They looked terrible. ‘God,’ he exhaled, and lowered her on to the first landing. He turned and gripped the balustrade, breathing deeply several times. Finally, he heaved one last shuddering sigh then turned, soothing her anxiety with a sincerely apologetic look. ‘I’m the one who should be saying sorry. Hell, I don’t know what got into me. I didn’t even think of contraception. Believe me, Audrey, when I say that Mother Nature has just saved you from making the biggest mistake in your life!’
She stared over at him, her heart breaking. She didn’t see it that way at all. Oh, she knew he didn’t love her and probably never would. But she couldn’t change that, just as she couldn’t change the way she felt about him. She loved him—quite madly—and would have treasured the experience of having him make love to her. Maybe nothing more permanent would have come of it, but she would at least have had one time with him.
But no...fate wasn’t going to allow her even that small concession to happiness.
She could have cried when he cupped her face with warm, tender hands. ‘It’s all for the best,’ he said gently. ‘It’s love you should be looking for, Audrey. Not sex. And the truth is, I’m flush out of love at the moment. To give a young vulnerable girl like you one without the other would be criminal, especially so soon after Russell.’
Audrey went to splutter something, something about how she didn’t give a fig for Russell, but he silenced her with a look.
‘If you think this is easy for me,’ he went on grimly, ‘you’re mistaken. The easy course would be to take you and use you, then tell you one day that your services would be no longer required, that I was moving on to someone else. Believe me, I’m well acquainted with the sort of man who could do that. I was one for twenty-nine years and could well be again. Commitment does not come naturally to me.’
Audrey blinked up at him, shocked. What was he saying? That before his marriage he had been an incurable Don Juan, a callous Casanova? Much as he had the sort of looks and sex appeal that could lead to a man becoming a womaniser, she couldn’t believe he was. A hardened rake would have responded to Lavinia’s sexual overtures. He also certainly wouldn’t be caring about a young girl’s emotional and physical welfare. Perhaps he might have been a cad once, but he wasn’t any longer. It was a case of actions speaking more loudly than words.
‘Are you listening to me, Audrey?’ he demanded in an impatient tone.
‘I—er—yes.’
‘You don’t seem to be. Let me put it into simple terms. I’m not going to sleep with you. I’ll be your friend, if you still want me to be. You don’t seem to have many of those. But for pity’s sake, don’t go complicating things by falling in love with me. It would only be a rebound thing anyway, after Russell. Give yourself time to find your feet before you launch into another romance. Another man will come along eventually, a man of your own age who’ll truly love you and won’t hurt you. Meanwhile...’
Her heart leapt. ‘Meanwhile?’
His mouth curved back into a cynical twist. ‘Meanwhile, I’ll have to make sure I don’t go jumping on you during your driving lessons. You seem to be a sensual sort of girl, very easy to turn on. Why Russell called you a bore in bed I have no idea! Perhaps I’ll have to take up jogging...or maybe...’
His eyes clouded with thought.
Audrey’s stomach turned over when she realised he was contemplating taking a lover, some experienced woman who would meet his sexual needs and so turn him into a ‘safe’ friend for her.
Desolation ripped through her. You don’t have to do that, she wanted to scream at him. I’m not that young or naïve or vulnerable any more. I know the score. I know it’s just sex you want. I understand. Truly I do. But I won’t demand anything. All I want is to lie with you and comfort you. Don’t waste my love. Don’t let it wither and die, unenjoyed, untried, unfulfilled...
She stared up into his handsome face, the words bursting from her heart. But she said nothing, her desolate sigh snapping Elliot out of his reverie. ‘You’d better get to bed, Audrey,’ he said. ‘You look tired.’
She nodded resignedly, hating herself for her silence, even though logic told her any offer she made to be Elliot’s mistress would be a waste of time. He wouldn’t say yes. She tried telling herself this was because he was protecting her from further hurt, but a familiar old voice kept whispering that if she were really beautiful and sexy, he wouldn’t be able to turn her down so easily.
‘Don’t bother seeing me out,’ he was saying. ‘I know the way. Will ten be too early for you in the morning?’
‘Could...could you make it eleven?’ She had a feeling it would take her a long time to get to sleep tonight, regardless of how tired she was.
‘Eleven, then.’ He stepped forward and gave her a very platonic peck on the forehead. ‘Goodnight, Birthday Girl.’
Audrey watched him leave, her heart sinking as far as it could go.
‘Oh, Elliot,’ she sighed, then turned and trudged up to bed.
She was right; it took her a very long time to get to sleep.
CHAPTER FIVE
‘YOU certainly are a dark horse, Audrey, latching on to a man like that!’
Lavinia swept into the kitchen, a sensual vision in a purple velvet dressing-gown, her long black hair flowing out over her shoulders.
Audrey groaned silently, her eyes lifting from her coffee-cup to the wall clock to check she hadn’t lost an hour or two. Her stepmother rarely rose on a Saturday before midday. But no, it was only ten forty-four. ‘You’re up early,’ she said, ignoring the comment about Elliot.
Lavinia made a scoffing sound. ‘I couldn’t get back to sleep after Warwick made so much noise going to golf this morning. And now I’ve got a headache.’ She busied herself finding some pain-killers in the medicine cabinet above the refrigerator, washing them down with a glass of water.
Audrey remained perched on her stool at the breakfast bar, downing her coffee as fast as possible. After last night’s eye-opening performance, she knew that Lavinia hadn’t come down here just for some aspirin—there was an adequate supply in her bathroom—and, quite frankly, she wasn’t in the mood for her stepmother’s two-faced manoeuvrings.
But she wasn’t quick enough. Before she could escape, Lavinia was on the other side of the counter, giving her an uncompromising stare. ‘Well? Aren’t you going to tell me all about the enigmatic Mr
Knight?’
Audrey effected what she hoped was a nonchalant shrug. ‘What’s to tell? I thought Elliot told you everything about himself last night.’
‘Hardly. He only gave us the bare facts. Truly, Audrey, what kind of game are you playing?’
‘Game?’ Audrey could feel a guilty blush coming into her cheeks. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, you must have known a man like that would come as a shock to your father and myself. Let’s face it, he’s hardly what we were expecting. We did our best to hide our feelings last night, but surely you can see the man’s far too old for you, among other things.’
Audrey glared up at her stepmother, thinking that she hadn’t hidden her feelings at all. Lavinia had lusted after Elliot like a bitch on heat. ‘Oh?’ Her voice was taut, her throat convulsing as she battled to keep her anger under control. ‘I thought Father seemed to like Elliot. You certainly did.’
Lavinia looked momentarily rattled by this last pointed remark. But she recovered quickly. ‘Well, of course we liked him. Mr Knight is an accomplished charmer. A very accomplished charmer. But one with a vague background, not to mention an odd marriage to a very wealthy older woman. One wonders how soon there would have been a divorce if his poor wife hadn’t passed away so conveniently. I hear she was extremely plain.’ Her hard black gaze flicked over Audrey in a dismissive fashion. ‘It must have occurred to you that Elliot Knight is basically just another Russell.’
Audrey’s heart squeezed tight as she fought to keep her breathing calm, her face composed. ‘Another Russell? I’m afraid I don’t see the similarity at all.’
‘Oh, you poor dear sweet naïve darling,’ her stepmother sighed. ‘I thought you would have realised. Russell was only after your money, you know. Your father and I guessed that right from the start.’
Audrey was having difficulty stopping her simmering anger from taking over. Lavinia’s tactics were all too clear now. Deliver an undermining insult within cleverly disguised endearments, then sit back and revel in the damage done. Why she had to do this Audrey couldn’t guess. Some sort of jealousy perhaps. Or sheer natural bitchiness. She didn’t know and didn’t really care. She only knew she wasn’t going to be a willing victim any longer.