“But it’s true.” Emma wasn’t going to stand by and watch as he beat himself up over this.
“You don’t understand, Emma. It was my fault. I was supposed to protect her. After my dad left, I was the only one she had. If I hadn’t been so wasted, I would have stopped her. I was selfish.” He hesitated as his gaze made his way over to her. “I am selfish.”
Emma took a step back. What was he saying?
“I was selfish to ask you to come here and do this for me. If you want to leave and annul the wedding right now, I wouldn’t blame you. I shouldn’t have asked you to do this.” He turned slightly so his shoulder was to her.
Why was he pulling away? Didn’t he know that she was here to help him? That she knew what she was getting into when she said yes? They’d come this far, there was no way she was quitting now.
“Austin, are you serious?” she asked.
He glanced over at her with his brows drawn together. “What?”
“You think that I’m just going to leave? If I wasn’t in it for the long haul, I wouldn’t have come. I’m here to help you, and I’m not leaving until your grandfather’s ranch is in your name, got it?” She stepped up to him and brushed his elbow with her fingers.
His shoulder’s loosened as he turned back to her. “You sure?”
Emma held up her hand. “I promise. I will let you know when I’m finished. But right now, I’m anything but done.”
A smile twitched on the edge of his lips. “Thanks.”
She reached out her arms and motioned for him to hug her. He hesitated but then wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. The feeling of his body next to hers mixed with his cologne sent rushes of emotions throughout her body. The feeling of his hands against her back and the pressure of his arms on her waist took her breath away.
Was he feeling any of this too? Was it just her? Desperate to save herself, she forced a laugh. “That’s what fake wives are for,” she said.
He pulled back and glanced down at her. His expression was different, almost as if he didn’t like the sound of her statement. But just as quickly as it came, it melted into a wide smile. “Right. Fake wife.” He took a step back and then waved toward the door. “After you, m’lady.”
Emma nodded and grabbed her purse. He followed her out of the room. She was grateful for the distance she’d put between them. It was ridiculous for her to even think that he cared.
If her past had taught her anything, it was that she was clueless when it came to relationships. And at this moment, she couldn’t fail at another one. Besides, what would it say about her if she couldn’t even make a fake one work? Right now, getting her emotions under control seemed like the best idea. For her heart and her mind.
Chapter Ten
Austin
Austin pulled into the parking lot of the Tavern and took a deep breath. He could do this. Right?
He glanced over at Emma who was studying the building in front of them. She was quiet on the ride to the bar. He wanted to ask her if he’d done something wrong. He couldn’t deny the moment they’d had in her room. When he’d voiced a part of his past that he was most ashamed of. But when she’d laughed and reminded him that they were only fake married, and he crashed back to earth.
Why had it bugged him so much that she had said that? He knew their marriage was fake. Neither had deep feelings for the other. At least, Emma didn’t have feelings for him. She was just a nice person. Why couldn’t he get his emotions to realize that?
Plastering a smile on his face, he turned to Emma. “Ready?” he asked.
She bit her lip and glanced over at him. “Are you?”
Another example of how she was a kind person. Worrying about him. She shouldn’t. Even though everyone who ever heard his story tried to insist that his mother’s death wasn’t his fault, he knew the truth. He let his mom down. And he couldn’t forget that. If he did it for his own mom, what was stopping him from letting the other people in his life down?
“Yeah, I’ll be okay.”
Emma’s soft smile caused his heart to pick up speed. “I’ll be here for you,” she said as she reached over and rested her hand on his.
He dropped his gaze to their hands. Her feminine ones looked so small next to his. He suddenly realized how fragile she was. How much he wanted to wrap her up in his arms and take care of her.
He swallowed. If he really cared about her, he’d keep her at arms distance. This fake marriage was rapidly turning into something more and he couldn’t have that. Especially since he’d promised himself that he’d keep her safe. A deep relationship with him was anything but safe.
Mustering all the strength he could find, Austin pulled his hand from hers. He reached over and grabbed the door handle and pulled it open. Anything to make it look like the movement had a purpose other than to remove the connection he felt with her.
Thankfully, Emma didn't seem to notice and in a few moments, was standing next to him. Fighting the urge to touch her, Austin shoved his hands into his front pockets and then turned toward the front door of the Tavern.
"Are you ready for this?" he asked. He wasn't sure what Emma was going to think about all of this. The country music. The line dancing. It could be hard to take in sometimes.
Emma's eyes widened as she glanced over at him. "Should I be that worried?"
Austin smiled as he followed after her. "I guess you’ll just have to see.”
They walked in silence up to the front. Austin couldn't help but feel relaxed in Emma's presence. There was something so comforting about being around her and if he were honest with himself, he really liked that. Silently he cursed himself. It was those thoughts that were going to get him into trouble.
Austin pulled open the door and motioned for Emma to go inside. The sound of Bernie's band filled the room. The smell of sweat and the sound of tapping boots surrounded them. Emma raised her eyebrows she passed by him.
Austin couldn't help but laugh as he followed after her. He was excited to see what this city slicker was going to do at a good ole country hoedown.
Just as they entered, a hollering noise came from over at the bar. Jasmine, with her shirt pulled down a tad farther than Austin was comfortable with, came barreling toward him. "Austin," she squealed, wrapping her sweaty arms around his body. "Mama didn't tell me that you were back.”
"Jasmine," Austin said, pulling her arms off of his body and taking a step back. One thing that he never missed about coming into town was the unwanted attention it seemed to bring him. That was the trouble about living in a small area where there were very few options in men. He was rapidly becoming the only options for a lot of single women around town.
"And who is this?" Jasmine asked as her gaze made its way toward Emma.
"Emma Maverick," she said, extending her hand toward Jasmine. "His wife."
Jasmine's lips parted as she stared at Emma and then over to Austin. "This is your wife? Last I heard Georgia left you stranded in Las Vegas."
Austin stomach twisted at the memory he tried so hard to stuff down.
"Didn't you hear?" Emma's voice pulled him from his reverie. "That girl went crazy. Got herself in trouble with the feds. Thank goodness. She made it possible for me to swoop in there and snatch this man up.” She leaned closer to Austin. “Georgia didn’t know what she was missing." Austin tried hard not to jump at the feeling of Emma snaking her arm around his waist and pulling herself close. "And now he's all mine."
From the corner of his eye he saw her lean over and press her lips against his cheek. Warmth spread through him from the feather light touch of her kiss. He swallowed as he turned to look at her. She was inches away from him.
"Well isn't that just the sweetest story," Jasmine said with sarcasm dripping from her tone.
Austin shrugged. "What can I say, when it's meant to be, it's meant to be." And in that moment Austin wanted nothing more than to dip down and kiss Emma on her lips. It would've been so easy. From the look in her eye, Austin co
uldn't help but wonder if she wanted him to. But he didn't allow himself to find out. He gave her a quick squeeze and then stepped away. If he were listening to his head, he would've walked far away. But his heart begged for him to stay close.
Jasmine forced a smile and then pretended as if someone had just spoken to her. She gave them a quick wave and made her way over to the bar.
"Thanks for that," Austin said, nodding in Jasmine's direction.
Emma gave him a smile, one that intrigued and confused him. There was meaning behind it, but he wasn't sure what.
“Of course. Anything for a fellow single friend."
He studied her. Why did the word friend sound so terrible at this moment? Of course, they were friends. That was all. If anything, he should be relieved that she felt that way. If at the end of all of this he was the one to get his heart broken he could handle that. But what he couldn't handle was breaking Emma’s heart in the process.
He couldn't drag her along when he knew in the end he could never do what Judge Matthews had instructed them to do. How could he when he had given up on love?
Emma deserved somebody who believed in marriage. To be with somebody who could take care of her. Austin learned that moment when Georgia disappeared that he wasn't truly meant to love or be loved. The solitude life was what he was meant for and he needed to accept that.
"You're so serious,” Emma said, leaning over and bumping him with her shoulder. Her eyes sparkled as she wiggled her eyebrows. "This is a party. That means happiness and excitement."
Austin shrugged. "What can I say, I'm not really in the partying mood."
Emma grabbed his hand and begin to pull him towards the dance floor. Austin hesitated. He wanted to stop her. But her excitement was so contagious that he found himself following her lead. Luckily, the current song ended just as Emma lined up next to another couple.
She turned to Austin with a defeated expression. “Ah, man,” she said. “I really liked that song.”
Austin just shrugged. “Oh, well. Maybe next time.” Just as he turned to leave the dance floor, a slow song started up. He felt her hand on his arm, causing him to stop. It took all his strength not to run from the dance floor. He was pretty certain that if he allowed himself to hold her in his arms, there was no way that he would walk away unaffected.
But he couldn’t move. His feet were grounded to the spot. For the first time in his life, his mind and heart were saying the same thing. And that was Emma. All of her. Every part of him wanted to draw her close and hold her. For some reason, she was like the lighthouse in his crazy life. No matter which way he went, it went right to her. Over and over again.
“Dance with me?” she asked. Her voice was quiet and timid, as if she feared his reaction.
Austin clenched his jaw, forcing himself back to reality. Even contemplating feelings for her was ridiculous. He could dance with her. After all, she looked so hopeful and he couldn’t turn her down. Not now.
Nodding, Austin turned to face her. “Of course. That’s what a fake husband would do. Right?” Bringing up their arrangement seemed like the prudent thing to do.
Emma’s smile faltered as she motioned for him to come closer. “It’s just a dance,” she said.
Austin took a breath and extended his arms. This was just a dance. He could do a dance.
Emma stepped toward him and rested her hand in his with her other on his shoulder. Austin tried to ignore how good it felt to wrap his arm around her waist and pull her close. Once he counted the beats in his head, he took a step forward and Emma responded by stepping back. Soon, they were dancing around with the other couples.
As much as Austin wanted to deny it, it felt good to have her next to him. Like she fit there. Would it be so bad to care for her? Could she possibly care for him?
“Thanks,” he said, focusing on the bottles that lined the wall behind her.
Emma tipped back to glance up at him. “For what?”
“For saving me back there. With Jasmine. I guess it doesn’t help to try to hide it now, but I was going to marry Georgia.”
Emma smiled. “I kind of figured. You weren’t that subtle with all your marriage isn’t for me talk.”
Austin laughed. “Yeah. It kind of ruined me to the whole institution.”
From the corner of his eye, he saw Emma’s expression grow serious. “Pity,” she said.
What did that mean? Did he want to know? He couldn’t help himself, he had to ask. “Why do you say that?”
She shrugged. “I think you’d make a great husband. I mean, if how you are as a fake husband is anything like the real thing, then it’s a pity you’ve written it off.”
Austin’s heart began to pick up speed. She thought he would make a good husband? He wasn’t sure how he felt about that.
“Thanks. Never going to happen, but I appreciate your confidence.”
He felt her muscles tighten at his words but then she relaxed. “Do you want to know another pity?”
He pressed on her back to get her to move slightly so that the couple who seemed convinced they needed to dance the tango to a slow pace country song, could pass by. “What?”
She was silent for a moment, drawing his attention over. “You not wanting to be a dad.” She glanced up at him, her eyes full of emotion. Ones that he couldn’t quite figure out. “It’s sad to think that you’ll be all alone in that big olé’ ranch all by yourself. You need someone—people to take care of.” She dropped her gaze down.
Out of instinct, Austin pulled her closer. He didn’t want to let her go and for the first time, he pushed away his doubts and just acted. He couldn’t deny that it felt so good. Like everything he’d ever wanted yet didn’t know he needed.
“Emma,” he said, his voice so full of emotion that he surprised even himself.
“Austin,” she said as she raised her gaze up to meet his.
He slowed their movement to a stop. He wanted to stay in this moment. To take her all in. To analyze her movements and her expressions.
But as he stood there, gazing into her eyes, he knew he couldn’t follow through with what his body wanted him to do. He couldn’t lean forward and kiss her lips. To accept the trust that she seemed willing to give him. He didn’t deserve it. He was a fool for bringing her here. For asking her to lie for him.
“I think you’ll do the same. As a mom and wife.” He hesitated before he said the next sentence. But he needed her to realize that he wasn’t the husband for her. He took a deep breath and continued. It was best. Emma couldn’t fall for him. It wasn’t fair to her especially when he wasn’t ready. “With someone else.”
Her eyes widened as she pulled back slightly. Almost as if his words were the last things she was expecting. Thankfully, the song faded away, giving Austin an excuse to leave the dance floor. And to leave Emma standing there. Alone.
As much as it broke his heart to walk away, he knew he was doing the right thing. Emma deserved that once in a lifetime love and if he was sure he couldn’t give it to her, why would he keep leading her on? His life was anything but consistent. Besides, hadn’t she been the one to say that she could never live in a place like Moose Falls? And this was the last place he wanted to leave.
Austin dipped his head as he headed into the bathroom and slipped into an empty stall. He’d stay in here until he had his emotions under control. Because right now, even though someone was vomiting in the stall next to him, he was safer then out there. And so was Emma. Hopefully she’d understand. He couldn’t care about her. Ever.
Chapter Eleven
Emma
Emma stood on the dance floor, watching Austin walk away. She wasn’t quite sure what just happened. All she tried to do was get closer to him, but he didn’t want her to. Apparently, she’d been the only one feeling anything. She shook her head as she headed over to the bar and ordered a Coke.
How could she be such a fool? He didn’t want to be married to her. He didn’t want kids. All he wanted was to stay at his ranch. Alone
.
She sighed. Fine. She’d let him do that. When his grandmother got here, she’d be the doting wife—fake it like the best of them—and then leave. She wouldn’t even make him come back to prove things to her mother. She’d release him from the contract and never think of him or Montana again.
Pulling out her phone, she turned it on. Scrolling through the contacts, she found Vincent’s text. Would it be so bad? After all, he was her ex. And he seemed genuine. What could it hurt?
Pressing her finger on the text bar, she wrote a message.
Thanks for contacting me. Things with Austin aren’t so good.
A guilty feeling settled in her gut. Why was she telling him this? Then she took a deep breath and hit the send button. She needed to start thinking about her future. One that didn’t include Austin.
“You okay?” Jasmine’s voice broke through her thoughts.
Emma clicked her phone off and her text faded to black. Turning around, she plastered on a fake smile. Jasmine was watching her with her eyebrows raised.
“Just messaging a friend back home,” Emma said, trying to keep her voice steady. How much had she seen? Why did she care? Austin pretty much told her he wasn’t interested in her. What did it matter who she moved on with?
“It looked like trouble in paradise,” she said, slipping onto the bar stool next to Emma. She motioned to the bar tender who set a wine cooler down in front of her.
“What?” Emma scoffed. “No. Definitely not. Austin thinks he had some bad fish earlier. He needed to use the restroom.” She was married to him. She could lie like that. Right?
Jasmine’s drawn-on eyebrows rose higher. “Oh. Not good.”
Emma turned to her Coke and took a sip. “Yeah.”
Silence fell around them. Thankfully the band started their next song, surrounding them in the upbeat dance that had half the bar moving around on the dance floor.
“How long have you known Austin?” Jasmine asked. Just as Emma parted her lips to respond, Jasmine spoke up again. “I’ve known him since high school. He’s never mentioned you.” She narrowed her eyes as she took a sip from the bottle.
Marrying a Cowboy (A Fake Marriage Series Book 1) Page 8