Our eternal curse II

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Our eternal curse II Page 15

by Simon Rumney


  The guilt caused by making this fine man exert himself made Julii feel terrible. She wanted to comfort him, but fear was clinging on and would not let go. Julii's mind needed to run and hide. She could no longer face whatever lay ahead, so the connection between body and mind simply snapped.

  In her imagination, Julii was suddenly standing on the deck of a large wooden ship, arm-in-arm with her Robert. A great white billowing cloth hung above them on a tall stick. The ship moved under her feet and the movement felt familiar and safe. The wind blew through her hair and she felt free. This is where she needed to be. This is where she had been loved. This is the life she had been at her happiest.

  Looking out across the waves, Julii's mind was a mere moment from total insanity when she heard her name come drifting across the great ocean. "Julii? Julii, are you all right? Julii!"

  'How could that be?' She looked out across the waves. 'There was nothing in sight for as far as the eye could see.' 'Who could be calling her?' She had no choice but to concentrate harder. 'She had to look and see who was calling her name.'

  Julii's blank eyes began to focus. Count Anton's face was directly in front of her on the deck of the ship. He was slapping the back of her hand like someone trying to bring back a person from unconsciousness. His voice showed deep concern. "Julii! Julii!"

  From her safe place on the gently rolling deck, Julii could feel Count Anton pulling her. He wanted her to follow him, but that required great effort. Remaining adrift, within the safe memories of her recurring dream, required nothing but letting go.

  Then Julii felt the ship lurch. She looked for movement among the waves but the great ocean was no rougher. 'How could that be?' She looked to her Robert for an answer, but he was no longer standing there. Julii found her head moving violently back and forth, then the ship was gone and the ocean was gone.

  Forced to return from her brush with fear-driven madness, she realized that Count Anton was shaking her. She was staring directly into his eyes. Hot tears were streaming down her face and Julii understood her mind had gone as far as it is possible to go without breaking. Just one mental step further and there could have been no return. She heard herself say "Yes".

  Julii wondered why she had said, “yes”, until memory replayed Count Anton's concerned question: "Are you all right?"

  Holding Julii's face between his hands, Count Anton looked deeply into her eyes and said: "Come with me, Julii. I will keep you safe. You have my word."

  Made ashamed by her pathetic display of weakness, Julii gathered all of her courage and forced herself to make a decision. 'From this moment on she would be as brave as her savior!' 'Count Anton was incredible and she should be incredible too!' 'She must face life and death with courage!' 'She would never again be helpless or made useless by fear!’ ‘She would devote herself to him because he had saved her life and her mind!'

  Stepping down from the carriage, Count Anton turned and held out a hand for Julii to take. Holding her head high and her jaw pushed forward in defiance and determination, she followed him into the unknown darkness. After only two steps, she bent over and threw up onto the wooden sidewalk.

  Count Anton had not told Julii an untruth. His front door was a few short steps from the carriage. Even in the darkness it looked very large and very red and, when he knocked on it, a big brown man opened it holding a candle.

  The big brown man was extremely happy to see Count Anton and, unlike Robert's horrible nanny, he looked at Julii with a welcoming smile. There was also concern and sympathy in his expression. Looking down at herself, Julii understood why.

  She was a mess. The brown stains from hurled clods of earth were clear to see in the light cast from inside the house. Wet and dry vomit clung to her once beautiful hide dress, and she knew her face and hair must be in the same awful condition.

  Julii looked back at the brown man and smiled apologetically. He returned her smile and beckoned her warmly inside. After welcoming them properly into the house, the brown man called out some unfamiliar words that sounded like "Samantha!" and "Tilly! Fetch a bucket of water!"

  Within a few moments, Julii's world became a whirlwind of action as two brown women, wearing long white dresses and holding burning candles, walked towards her. One was a pretty young girl and the other a motherly looking woman who handed a full bucket of water to the brown man.

  Both women seemed to know exactly what they were doing as they escorted Julii up the little platforms called “staircase”. Julii was embarrassed to hear the splashing noise behind her as she climbed. She knew it must be the sound of the brown man and Count Anton cleaning up her vomit.

  Overcoming her embarrassment, Julii centered her mind on the job at hand. 'Stairs had to be climbed.' 'Come on now!' 'This was going to be complicated.' 'Focus!'

  She was extremely surprised by how easy it was to climb stairs as she walked ahead of the young brown woman and behind the older brown woman. She had assumed that it must be difficult because on the day her Robert was taken away, his mother had said, "You will never be able to climb these stairs!"

  Julii wondered what Robert's mother had been getting at. 'This is simple.' The covering on these stairs was blue not red, but in every other way they were the same. Julii looked at the brown woman climbing ahead of her. She was also walking easily upwards to the sky called “ceiling”. 'Robert's mother was wrong.' 'Climbing stairs was something she was well able to do.'

  At the top of the stairs, Julii was shown into an ornate room with a very large “bed” in it. She knew that the thing in the room was called a “bed” because Nanny had pointed to a similar looking thing in her room and said, "You cans't never sleep in no bed. The likes of you gots to sleep on the floor."

  Nanny's bed had not been as grand as this bed. Nanny's bed was not as big. Nanny's bed did not have the wooden sticks at each corner, and neither did Nanny's bed have the cloth stretched out above the sticks. This big bed looked so comfortable and soft and warm and inviting, it made Julii realize how tired she was.

  Fully aware of how rude she was being, Julii could not find the strength to even introduce herself to the brown ladies. Unable to keep going any longer, she lay down on the floor at the foot of the bed to go to sleep.

  The two brown women giggled. Julii opened her eyes to see what was funny and was horrified to see they were looking directly at her. Fear stirred within her again, but the sight of something wonderful came to hold that fear at bay.

  The two brown ladies were not laughing to humiliate her. They were smiling warmly and there was none of the scorn of the people in Atlanta. They were both sympathetic and warm and clearly meant to include Julii in the joke, even though she did not know what the joke was.

  Julii smiled back at the kind brown ladies as Count Anton, the carriage driver, and the brown man from the front door entered holding shiny pails of steaming water.

  They also looked at Julii and laughed but, like the brown ladies, not in a nasty way. She was relieved to find that here in the place called Savannah, people’s laughter caused her no pain.

  Count Anton lowered his heavy pails to the floor, walked to Julii, and gently helped her to her feet. "When you sleep in my house it will be in your bed, my dear."

  Julii looked at the bed. 'Had Count Anton said it was hers?' 'Was she going to be able to sleep in a bed after all? 'Once again, it seemed the negative information she received in Atlanta was proving completely wrong.'

  Count Anton pointed to a shiny thing that Julii now knew to be called a “trough” and said, "But before you go to bed, you will have a bath to help you sleep."

  She wanted to tell him how exhausted she was. She wanted to explain that, whatever a “bath” was, help is not something she needed when it came to falling asleep, but he and the brown men had gone to so much trouble.

  Fighting to stay awake, Julii watched the men empty their heavy pails into the trough. 'Why had they gone to such trouble?' 'Was she expected to drink all of that water to help her sleep?' 'That would
be impossible, and these nice people were going to think her rude.'

  Before she had time to do or say anything, the men all left the room with their empty shiny pails. Almost before the door had closed, the brown ladies were taking off Julii's dirty hide dress.

  Too tired to even protest, she wondered what was going to happen to her. The brown girl and brown lady were gently pushing and guiding her into the water. 'What are they doing?' Julii was so afraid, yet too exhausted to fight, protest or even speak.

  The water felt warm and soft and good. Julii melted into the trough. It felt so wonderful and she closed her eyes. Julii did not understand what the brown girl and brown women were doing to her but, whatever it was, their touches felt gentle and nice.

  Opening her eyes, she saw one of the brown lady's rubbing her with a cloth and the other rubbing her with a sweet-smelling red stone. 'No, not a stone.' 'It was hard but also soft.' 'How can something be hard and soft?' 'How can a stone make bubbles?'

  Julii could feel herself becoming clean. In each of the places the brown women rubbed, she could feel her body lose days and days of traveling and Atlanta grime and it felt wonderful. The brown women even wet her hair and rubbed something into it. Their fingers moving on her scalp also felt magnificent. Julii feared falling to sleep and drowning. 'Would the brown women save her?' 'Did she care?' More lovely warm water cascaded over her head and woke her a little. 'This was even more wonderful.'

  When it all came to an end, the brown women made Julii stand. She even felt a little disappointed to leave the warmth of the water until a new sensation of pleasure came over her. One of the brown women was rubbing her body with a large soft, almost fluffy, blanket, while the other rubbed at her hair with something similar.

  Julii felt cleaner than she had ever been in her life. Her body was red and smooth and her hair smelled exactly like the 'soft, hard red stone’.

  Even standing up, and with all these exciting new experiences, Julii's eyes began to close on their own. She could no longer fight the overwhelming need for sleep.

  The brown women obviously understood her exhaustion because the young brown woman held her upright while the older brown woman lifted her arms above her head. Julii felt something soft and comfortable move from her raised arms down to her feet.

  While being walked in the direction of the bed, Julii took a last peak down at herself. She was covered with a beautiful soft white dress that concealed everything from her neck to the floor. That was the last thing she remembered because, still bruised by her brush with insanity, Julii's mind urgently needed to return to the comfort of the dream of her and Robert standing on the deck of a ship crossing a great ocean.

  Awakening

  'Panic!' 'Total panic!' Julii was blind; her vision shrouded by a complete black darkness.

  Julii fought against the restraints that held her body flat. She struggled to free her arms. If she could just lift a hand in front of her eyes, any sign of movement would tell her she had not gone blind. But only her head was free to move uselessly from side to side.

  'Had this been Count Anton's plan from the beginning?' 'Feeding her eggs?' 'Saving her from the mob?' 'His kindness.' 'Had she been lured into this dark place?' 'What did he plan to do to her?' 'Is this where her life would end?' 'Did she care?' 'Did she want to live without Robert?' 'Yes!' With all of her heart she wanted to live. Since overcoming her pathetic weakness in the carriage, she wanted to live.

  Driven by anger and the will to survive, Julii's body flooded with a burst of energy. Using every ounce of strength, she writhed in the darkness until her horrible bindings gave way. 'At least she was free of the bed.' 'Now she must escape!'

  Standing in a measure of blackness never experienced before was disorienting. She could hear something in the distance, something familiar. 'It was the muffled clip clop of horses on the street.'

  She moved slowly and carefully, hands outstretched, towards the noise. After what seemed like a very long time in the dark, her fingers hit something soft and she rapidly withdrew her hands. 'Was it a spider's web?' 'No!' 'It was too strong to be a web.'

  Reaching cautiously out again, she realized the soft thing hung down from above. After prodding at the soft thing a few times, Julii built the confidence to pull gently at the soft thing until it came apart in her hands. Overpowering light suddenly hit her eyes like a punch.

  Temporarily blinded by the glare, Julii heard the sound of the door opening behind her. Turning to face the door, she heard someone walk into the room. 'Did that person mean to tie her down again?'

  Julii walked backward into the soft thing. The soft thing parted and closed gently across her face. One more backward step and she was halted by something hard. Trapped and blind she waited for the worst, but what she heard sounded completely nonthreatening.

  "Why's Miss Julii hiding behind them curtains?"

  Julii recognized the warm friendly tone of the younger brown woman who cleaned her with the soft, hard sweet-smelling rock.

  Confused by the violence of her entrapment and the apparent warmth of the young brown lady's tone, she waited to be dragged violently from her hiding place but nothing happened.

  Recovering her sight, Julii saw movement at the base of the soft hanging things. The brown woman must be walking towards her. She braced herself for the worst.

  The soft hanging thing split in the middle, the tops making a scraping noise as they were pulled apart. Julii was ready to fight, but the younger brown woman was smiling. Behind her the older brown woman was also smiling. They clearly meant her no harm. 'If they did not mean to harm her, why had they tied her down?'

  Looking past the brown women, in the light from the exposed window, Julii could see the thing that had held her to the bed. Walking over to the bed, Julii felt embarrassed and ashamed. She had been restrained by nothing more than the tightly tucked bed coverings.

  She bent down and pulled at the covering. From this angle they came free with very little effort. 'She had never been in any danger.'

  It took a moment to build the courage needed to face the kind brown women. 'Did they know of her mistrust?' 'Were they angry?'

  Unable to delay facing the brown women any longer, Julii turned. They were both smiling warm, friendly, caring smiles that grew wider when Julii smiled back. The sight of such bright white teeth framed by healthy brown lips felt wonderful and safe. Even as they walked towards her, Julii felt no fear.

  The older of the two brown ladies spoke first. "I'm Samantha, Miss Julii. And this here is Tilly."

  Julii smiled and remembered something she learned by the banks of her river; a series of words that amused her. Words she had never had occasion to use before but seemed appropriate at this moment. "How do you do?"

  The brown ladies chuckled and held the sides of their skirts. They bent their legs a little and dipped their heads as they both said: "And how do you do?"

  Then a happy conversation began as Samantha gently lifted Julii's arms and Tilly lifted the white dress from her body.

  Tilly kept Julii standing in this naked and exposed position until Samantha covered her with her hide dress. The hide dress felt soft. It looked and smelled so wonderfully clean. Lowering Julii's arms, Tilly knelt down. Julii felt her soft moccasins slide gently onto her feet. They were also clean and soft.

  Samantha looked at Julii with warmth and a hint of maternal pride as she said: "You come downstairs now, Miss Julii."

  And unlike Robert's nanny, this brown woman's tone was polite and caring. Tilly also sounded kind and respectful as she stood back up and said, "Master Anton's been waiting for you for a long time. You just slept and slept. We thought you was never gonna wake up."

  Samantha smiled as she guided Julii towards the door. "Master Anton said when midday come we gotta wake up the madam."

  Julii was surprised. She knew that midday was when the sun hung directly above because her Robert had taught her that. She had never before in her life slept past dawn. Then it hit her. 'That was no
longer true.' 'Since meeting her Robert, she had stayed awake all night and slept all day.' 'Her Robert had literally turned her life upside down.'

  The hand on Julii's elbow guided her gently from the room to the top of the stairs. 'Walking down stairs was even easier than walking up.' Julii could not work out what Robert's mother had been talking about. She wondered if it was easy for her because she was particularly good at climbing stairs, but Tilly and Samantha had both gone up, and now down, just as easily. 'This was a real mystery.'

  At the bottom of the stairs, Julii saw the inside of the big red door; the door that had opened to let her into Count Anton's sanctuary just as she had thrown up. 'Was she being sent back through it?' 'Was she being sent outside in daylight?'

  There was another door at the bottom of the stairs. It was black. Julii was relieved to see it opened by Samantha, and even more relieved to be led through it by Tilly.

  Inside the room, Count Anton sat at a large polished wooden table surrounded by many fancy chairs. He was staring at a large, flimsy white and black cloth thing as though it had some kind of meaning.

  Seeing Julii, he folded the white and black thing in half, then in half again. As he placed it on the table, Julii noticed General Hardee on the front of the white and black thing. It could not be General Hardee though because it was flat and had no color, just like the men's faces on the flimsy cloth things Count Anton gave the man in Atlanta. 'How could General Hardee be on the front of the white and black thing?'

  As Samantha left the room and closed the black door behind her, Count Anton stood and gestured for Julii to join him at the table. She walked confidently across the polished wood floor to the chair Count Anton held out for her.

  Because of the table, Julii assumed that this must be the count's “kitchen room”. While sitting, Julii looked around for the “sink” and the “pump” and the “stove” and the “cupboards” and the hanging “utensils”, but those familiar things were not in this kitchen room.

 

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