by Caisey Quinn
Her heart pounded in her ears as she tried to think. She stuffed her wallet into her hoodie pocket and surveyed the room. There was stuff she wanted but there was no way she could lug it all the way to work. She’d try to sneak back into the house tomorrow while Darla was out to grab a few more things.
Jake and Darla were still arguing in the living room when Kylie blew past them.
“I’m not screwing around, Kylie. Do not ever come back here,” Darla screamed out after her, loud enough for the neighbors to hear.
Kylie jogged down the street as quickly as she could with the overstuffed guitar case bouncing against her back.
What the hell had just happened back there? Kylie knew Darla was crazy but was she seriously kicking her out?
Well, she thought to herself, at least things can’t get any worse.
6
ALL KYLIE could think about during her shift at Pam’s were the insults Darla had slung at her. Slut, whore, c-u-next Tuesday. She’d never actually heard that last one out loud before.
Not that Darla even knew anything about Kylie’s personal life, but she was technically still a virgin. Last year after the Spring Fling carnival, she’d let Brandon Mahaffey drive her home. They’d been out a few times and they’d made out more than a few times. But he was a football player and had no intentions of calling Kylie his girlfriend, at least not in public.
Lulu had brought some fruity concoction to the carnival so Kylie had a nice buzz going and didn’t want the night to end. Really she just didn’t want to go home to her dad and Darla.
So she’d talked Brandon into taking her to the park. At first it was fun and they walked down to the playground and rode on the swings and slid down the slide. But then all the swinging and sliding started to make Kylie a little sick so they headed back to his truck.
He didn’t even put his key in the ignition and Kylie knew what he wanted. She kind of wanted it, too, but mostly because she just wanted things to be different. She wanted to feel different.
It got pretty heated in the cab of his truck, but Brandon got nervous and they never actually sealed the deal. It was an awkward failed attempt so Kylie pretty much avoided him until her dad died.
After the small funeral, she’d needed to get out of the house and away from Darla’s excessive self-pity. When Lulu didn’t answer her cell, Kylie walked to the football field and texted him. He made it there in record time.
“You want to like talk, or something?” he asked as he climbed onto the bleachers beside her.
“Not really.”
“The other thing then?”
“Yeah.”
“In my truck?” he offered, side-eying Kylie like she was a time bomb.
“No.”
“Um, okay. Kylie, I’m not sure we should—”
“On the field,” she told him.
“Are you crazy?”
“Yeah,” she answered evenly.
“Okay, then.” He shrugged and headed towards the field, glancing at Kylie every other second to see if she was just kidding. She wasn’t. She was pissed at the universe and she was about to show it just how pissed she was.
They were off to a decent start until her partner in crime started to freak out.
“We could get arrested for this,” he panted while unzipping her jeans.
“Pity.”
“I’m serious, Kylie. We’re on school property. What if they could, like, I don’t know. Make our diplomas like retroactively void or something?”
“Jesus, you big baby. Just forget it,” Kylie told him as she pushed him off of her. Something had occurred to her moments after he had slid his hand between her legs under the expanse of the darkening sky.
What if her dad could see her right now, wherever he was?
“Wait. I didn’t mean we shouldn’t do it. Just maybe not right here.” Brandon reached out a hand to help her up.
“Just forget it,” she told him as she zipped her jeans and stood without taking his hand.
“Hey, come on,” he pleaded but didn’t make a move to follow her.
“Later.” Kylie left him on the field. She was pretty sure she left a part of herself there too. Still feeling empty inside, she’d gone home and cried herself to sleep.
That was still the closest she’d gotten to actual sex and yet Darla had called her a slut. It would’ve been funny if it didn’t actually hurt.
“Kylie, can you come by my office when you finish bussing tables?” Pam Reynolds asked, interrupting Kylie’s thoughts.
Kylie glanced up at the clock and cursed herself. It was almost closing time. And here she’d wasted all that time thinking about the past when she should’ve been figuring out where she was going to sleep tonight.
“Yes, ma’am,” Kylie told her boss. “Be right there.”
Before she cleaned the tables, Kylie texted Lulu about a sleepover. Lulu texted back: Carmen is here. Code for you don’t want to come over right now.
Damn. This was seriously not her day.
Don’t really have any other options, Darla kicked me out.
Lulu texted a zillion question marks but Kylie had to get back to work.
AFTER SHE’D waited on her last customer and bussed her tables, refilling all the salt, pepper, and sugar containers, Kylie headed into her boss’ office.
“You wanted to see me?” Kylie ducked in. Trying not to cry over the meager sixteen dollars she’d made in tips, she forced a smile for Ms. Pam. The wrinkled old woman’s leathery skin twitched in an attempt to smile back. But Kylie could see the sympathy in her eyes. Oh no. Had Darla made good on her promise to burn her dad’s things?
“Kylie, have a seat.”
She lowered herself into the metal folding chair across from the desk where Ms. Pam was seated.
“Sweetie, you know we love you here and we were all real sorry about what happened to your daddy,” the woman began. “But since the buffet and some of the local business have closed down, we just don’t really need so many waitresses right now.”
Inhaling sharply, Kylie bit back tears for what seemed like the millionth time today. Her reoccurring nightmare was starting to look like a dream come true compared to her real life.
“Did I do something wrong?” Kylie asked, hating her stupid lip for trembling.
“Oh honey, no.” Ms. Pam leaned across the desk and reached for Kylie but the distance was too great. “It’s just, you’re young and a lot of the girls here have kids and rent and bills to pay. You understand.”
She nodded and swallowed thickly. “Oh, okay. Yeah, I understand.” Kylie stood to leave.
“Here hon, I have a little something for you. It’s not much but it’s the best I could do.” A rawhide hand stretched a white envelope out to Kylie. She tucked it into her pocket.
“If you ever need a reference, I promise to give you a glowing one.” The old woman threw one more weathered smile at Kylie. She had to get out of here before her tears broke past the dam she was barely maintaining.
“Thanks, Ms. Pam. I’ll definitely take you up on that.” Kylie tried to grin but it was more of a grimace.
Then she all but ran from the room.
7
AFTER SHE’D gone by and seen that Darla wasn’t home, she’d used her key one last time. Kylie had found her old pink suitcase from when she used to visit her grandmother before she passed. Once she’d crammed everything she could into it, she grabbed a sandwich, an apple, and a coke and called a cab to take her to the bus station.
She was $100 richer than she’d planned on since Ms. Pam had been so generous. Kylie knew the money had probably come out of the old woman’s own pocket. The cab ride to Oklahoma City had taken almost all of it.
She stood in line at the Greyhound bus station, holding her meager belongings close and adjusting the guitar on her back.
“Dream big, little dreamer,” her daddy used to say before kissing her goodnight at bedtime.
When she handed the money and her driver’s license over
for her ticket to the cashier behind the plastic window, the woman arched an eyebrow.
“Kind of young to be traveling all alone are you?”
Kylie shrugged.
“What’s in Nashville?”
Kylie smiled, feeling a surge of hope welling in her chest.
“My dreams.”
The Second Chance Series by Caisey Quinn
Last Second Chance
When Stella Jo Chandler gets an offer to work at the Second Chance Ranch celebrity rehab facility right after graduating from Texas A&M, she’s tempted to turn it down. She wants to help real people with real problems, not spoiled celebrities going on vacation for publicity. But growing up on her family’s ranch left her with a love of horses that draws her to the opportunity. How bad can babysitting a bunch of strung out celebrities be?
What she didn’t count on was being roped into a tangled mess with infamous rocker and three-time rehab drop out Van Ransom on her first day. And she sure didn’t expect to feel the overwhelming attraction that pulls her to the man who has more issues than she can count on both hands. Like the hotel rooms and tour buses he’s famous for trashing, the havoc he could wreak on Stella’s heart would be irreparable.
Van isn’t at Second Chance for publicity or because he’s suffering from “exhaustion”. He’s on the brink of destruction, and he needs the kind of help Stella isn’t sure she can give. But without her, he’ll lose everything. Because he’s on his last second chance.
Preview
Dear Reader | Author’s Note
This is the series I never expected to write, much less publish. Addiction has affected my family in so many ways, none of them good. For so long it was something we hid, shoved and kicked behind closed doors. It was a battle I felt alone in. Protecting the people I loved from the judging eyes of the perfect world felt like a full time job and left very little room for anything else.
But I was fortunate enough to find my way out of the darkness. I found a light in writing, in friendship, in being able to trust. Van’s head is a hard place to be for me, one I was afraid to venture into. But he wouldn’t leave me alone until I told his story. Without the support and encouragement of so many, I never would’ve finished this book.
Throughout my life, I have learned that there are people in this world, sometimes they’re complete strangers even, who, without a doing anything other than being themselves, give you the unspoken permission to share the deepest, darkest parts of yourself. People whose eyes won’t go wide or feet won’t begin to walk backward, whose arms continue reaching outward, even when you’ve removed your carefully crafted and polished exterior to expose the ugliest, most gruesome truths that live in your soul.
There are so many paths and decisions and unseen gravitational forces that propel us in all directions every passing moment, compounded by the grand and infinitesimal choices we make every day. But sometimes, the vast elements of the universe align for a brief moment in time leading us to the beating hearts of the ones that will be those people for us.
When that happens, when two creatures find in one another this rare and purely unconditionally form of love, and acceptance, of patience, and tolerance, and a marrow-deep level of understanding, of warmth and kindness, from another that accepts mistakes, and flaws, and garish gaping wounds that surpass flesh and bone without apology or remorse or expecting a reward other than the same unyielding faith from the other living, breathing creature who has traveled their own ragged path and possesses their own soul’s shadows and scars...
It can only be the result of one simple gift from the universe, or higher power, or the entity on which we choose to build the foundation of our faith...
A miracle.
I am grateful for my miracles—each and every one of you.
If you haven’t found yours yet, stay strong. It is truly darkest before the dawn.
<3 Caisey
“Love has no middle term—either it destroys, or it saves.”
-Victor Hugo, Les Misérables
Prologue
Falling off a horse for the first time changes you. Stella Jo Chandler knew that better than anyone. After fourteen years of riding without anything more than a minor incident, her faithful thoroughbred, Angel’s Breath, fell at the 75th Annual Kentucky Showmaster’s Showcase and sent them both to the ground like the London Bridge. Pinned under the massive animal, Stella Jo struggled to stay conscious despite the black spots blurring her vision.
She told herself to breathe, that it was okay. It wasn’t really, though it could’ve been much worse.
Eighteen-year-old Stella’s leg was broken in two places and required pins and multiple surgeries to repair. She was unable to walk for eight weeks and even when she did, there was a slight limp in her gait that hadn’t been there before. Angel’s Breath had to be put down. Stella hadn’t so much as gotten on a horse since then. Kind of difficult when you lived on a horse ranch. Unless you moved away to college and made up a million excuses about why you could never make it home for the holidays.
The pride of the Chandler family was wounded irreparably after her fall. Dreams of their only daughter bringing home the Triple Crown and one day taking over the family’s sprawling Texas ranch, died that day in Kentucky. Or at least they did for her.
All that nonsense about getting back on the horse? Bullshit as far as Stella Jo was concerned.
ONE
Stella Jo Chandler had just lifted her steaming caramel macchiato to her lips when she heard the steady buzzing of her phone vibrating in her purse. She didn’t even have to look to know it was one of two numbers calling.
It was either her mom for the fiftieth time, calling to ask whether or not she was moving back home after graduation next week, or Dr. Juan Ramirez, the Director from Second Chance Ranch calling to see if she had decided to accept his job offer. She knew this because the only two other people who called her, her roommate Tess Bradley and her ex-boyfriend Nash Douglas, were here. Together. Naturally. Because of all of the Starbucks near campus, of course they would pick this one.
It wasn’t like they were sneaking around. And she was the one who’d broken it off with Nash more than a month ago. She just didn’t expect him to ask her roommate out so soon after. She damn sure didn’t expect Tess to want to go out with him. And yet, here they were.
When Tess had asked if Stella would be okay with them going out, she’d said it was fine. Because what right did she have to keep them from hooking up if they wanted to? No right whatsoever. And she didn’t actually miss him exactly. The twinge of hurt and sadness that stabbed her every time she saw them came more from missing being with someone, or at least being wanted by someone. He hadn’t even looked upset when she’d broken it off. More like relieved.
Even though Tess was discreet about her new relationship with Stella’s ex, it didn’t stop the seemingly mandatory awkward run-ins that occurred from time to time. Fate could be such a conniving bitch.
After tossing the happy couple an obligatory wave and the biggest smile she could manage, Stella leaned down to pull her new iPhone from her designer bag. Both were given to her as bribes from her mother. Not that they were going to get Candace Chandler what she wanted necessarily, but Stella was a broke college student about to be up to her eyeballs in loan debt. No sense in turning down free goods. She was nothing if not practical.
“Hey mama,” she answered.
The woman on the other end responded in kind with a practiced cheerfulness Stella was familiar with. “Well Estella Josephine Chandler, I’m surprised you could be bothered to answer. How are finals going?”
Stella sipped her scorching hot drink. She nodded at her roommate and Nash when they waved to her on their way out. She wondered if she was the reason they were taking their coffees to go.
“They’re going. Two down, two to go. I was just settling in to study.” Double majoring in Psychology and Business at Texas A&M was a heavy load and Stella was exhausted. Probably wouldn’t have been as tough
if she wasn’t a perfectionist dead set on graduating Magna Cum Laude.
“Okay, well I won’t keep you,” her mom said evenly. “Just wanted to check in and wish you luck.”
Now there was a boldfaced lie if ever she’d heard one.
“Thanks, mama. And no, I haven’t made a decision yet. I’m going to Dallas next weekend to meet with Dr. Ramirez and then I’ll let you know something.” The truth was, she had pretty much made up her mind that—unless the Second Chance Ranch was a disgusting hellhole—she was most likely taking the job. Even after four years away from her family home, she still wasn’t ready to go back. Kind of funny that whichever option she decided on, both would put her right smack in the middle of a horse ranch. Really wasn’t that surprising since Stella loved horses, she just had no desire to get back on one.
Her mother cleared her throat. “I wasn’t calling to pressure you. Your dad and I love you no matter what you decide. You know that.”
Right, except her mom had clearly just suggested that their love was part of the equation. And her dad showed emotion about as well as the broad side of a barn.
Stella sipped her coffee and stared at her open accounting textbook. “Okay. Well, I really need to get back to studying.”
“Love you. See you at graduation.”
“Love you, too,” Stella Jo said to the dead air. She ended the call and rubbed her temples.
She could practically see her mom stamping her foot in frustration as she told Stella’s dad his daughter still hadn’t made up her mind. That’s how it had always been. If Stella did something good, she was mama’s girl. But one screw up and she was her father’s daughter, like he’d passed on some defective DNA. She’d been her father’s daughter a whole lot since giving up riding.
Staring at the numbers in her meticulously organized notes, Stella’s mind wandered. For some reason, Nash had never taken her for coffee. In fact, the only places he’d ever taken her were his messy apartment and a few parties his fraternity brothers threw.
Whatever, it didn’t matter now.