Then I had other things to worry about. Asher’s other arm slid around my waist and pull me tightly against him. He nearly lifted me off my feet as he crooned soft, soothing words, in an unknown language. His heart beat steady and strong against my bare back. With every pull of his blood, my heart sped up to catch his. I could feel him through the connection of the blood; his desperation, and hunger. There was something inside him; something old and terrifying, and I knew that it wanted me. Then, there was something in me that yearned to answer. It was a surreal and terrifying moment.
I have no idea how long we stood like that. His blood did unexpected things to me. My heart raced and strange visions exploded behind my closed eyes. I felt myself go limp in his arms, but I tried to fight it. I seemed to black out for a little while. I woke up and I was no longer being held up by Asher, but lying beside him on my bed. My bed… in my room. I was home again, but when had that happened? Did I imagine it? How long was I out?
Asher was propped up on his elbow, watching me. I was so awfully sleepy. “How did we get here? Are we home?” He nodded, and I was so happy, but still so bone-deep tired. “Did I take enough blood? Did I take too much?” The taste of copper was strong, but I felt too weak to move.
“Yes, you did very well.” He smoothed my hair back from my face. “You need to sleep now, love, let the change take hold. You’re safe, now.”
I fought sleep like a two year old. Something was wrong with me. “But, my dad…”
“Your father has not missed you. You have not been missed by anyone. I planted a suggestion that you have a migraine headache and must not be disturbed. You have only to sleep and everything will be as it should.” Even as groggy as I was, I thought he looked pleased with himself, but there was sadness in his expression, too. It made no sense. Nothing he’d done, lately, had made any sense.
“Asher, I feel funny. Is this normal?” I felt like my head was floating far above my body.
For the first time, he looked uncertain. “I really do not know. I have never done this before. I do not think anyone has.”
“Am I dying?” It really seemed like a possibility.
Through my half closed eyelids I saw him smile. “That, I can tell you. You are not dying. For that to happen, I have to claim you, and that I will not do.”
“Why are you doing all this?” I tried to motion with my hand, but it was too weak to lift. My voice sounded high, and thin; very strange even to my own ears. “Why me?” There was something I needed to tell him. Something important, but it kept slipping away. I just couldn’t catch the thought that kept dancing away from me; always near, yet just out of reach.
Asher smiled again and stroked my cheek. “Sleep, lovely girl, and let the change complete.” He side-stepped that question neatly.
I knew that if I gave in to sleep I would never be the same again. “Does it hurt?”
“Does what hurt?” I felt him take my sandals off and heard them drop over the side of my bed.
“Dying… does it hurt?” No matter what he said, I felt pretty sure that I was in immediate danger of dying.
Asher seemed bemused by my question. “You are determined to fight the change, I see.” A light cover was pulled up to my chin. Since I was starting to chill, the cover was welcome. “Very well, to answer your question, dying hurts no more than being born, I imagine. It is a change; a rebirth. On the other hand, the part before actual death is often painful.”
“That’s comforting.” I fought it, tried to stay awake. Everything looked just a little fuzzy around the edges, including Asher.
“I do not want to lie to you. Death is a welcome release for many; those who are either too damaged, or too frail to continue in this life.” He seemed to think for a moment before continuing. “Then, there are souls who fear the change. They cling so strongly to life that they cannot pass over. They wander; lost. Those souls are pitiful things. I told you about them before, do you remember?”
“Sorrows. Immortal Sorrows. Sounds awful.” I felt like I was freezing. I clamped my teeth together to keep them from chattering. I heard a low groan and realized that it came from me.
“Are you in pain?” He looked concerned, at least. That was good since it was his fault I was in this mess.
“I’m f…f…freezing.” Waves of chills had me bent almost into the fetal position. I was so cold, in spite of the cover he’d tucked around me.
Asher pulled me up against his body, and immediately I felt better. He was so warm. “You never a…answered my question. Why are you doing this for me?”
“Because you are mine. And I am yours.” My poor heart did a little happy dance, even as dread settled into the pit of my stomach. He wasn’t supposed to say things like that to me, but I liked it.
I felt him play with my hair, brush it back from my face. I was too sleepy to keep my eyes open, and what he was doing soothed me. I hung onto his every small touch; I didn’t want to be swept away to this strange, deathly sleep. My muscles started to cramp. I didn’t care what he said, something was horribly wrong with me.
“Stop fighting this; let sleep take you. I will stay right here with you, for as long as you need me. I will protect you in any way that I can.”
“I need to tell you something, Asher, just as soon as I remember what it is. It’s important.”
“Hush, lovely girl.” His voice was deep, hypnotic, and compelling. “You will forget me, once you wake. You will forget the Aerie, and everything that you saw there. You will be safe, and you will be happy.”
But I didn’t want to forget him. I would never be happy without him; I knew that, now. What had I let him do to me? I started to panic, but I couldn’t fight anymore. I was swept away in the strange tide of the change. The last thing I felt was his breath against my lips. “Sleep. Forget. Live.”
Chapter 20…Izzy
Monday morning dawned, cold and bright. Everything felt just slightly off-kilter, sort of like deja-vu, only that lasts about a second, and it’s gone. This feeling, though, this was something else. It lingered. I wondered, briefly, if I might be coming down sick. It was almost flu season, so it wasn’t totally out of the question.
I went through the motions of my normal routine; brushed my teeth, washed my face, and took Jazzy downstairs for breakfast. And the whole time I felt like something was just off. When I heard my dad come downstairs a few minutes later, my heart leaped up into my throat, seemingly without reason. I ran to him, and hugged him hard, the minute he was within arm’s reach. He smelled fresh from the shower clean, with minty mouthwash on his breath, and I was so happy to see him that I could have cried.
My dad chuckled, surprised, and gave me his patented one-armed hug. After a few awkward seconds, he patted my shoulder, and tried to get away to make some coffee. I clung to him even harder. Slowly, his other arm came up and just held me close as I buried my face against the starched front of his white shirt. The sound of his heart beating next to my ear was both comforting and terrifying at the same time.
I was acting like a lunatic. He knew it. I knew it, too, but I couldn’t seem to help myself. My throat was tight, and my eyes started to sting a little bit. Horrified, I realized that I was about to start bawling all over my poor father, for no apparent reason. He hated it when I went all girly on him; he would be traumatized for the rest of the day. I had to get a grip on myself.
I pried my fingers off of his freshly-wrinkled shirt, and turned away quickly before the first tear could fall. Quickly, I wiped my nose on the back of my hand. “Honey, is something wrong?” He sounded almost afraid to ask, and who could blame him? It was a good question; something felt terribly wrong with me.
I reached for the coffee pot and filled it up about half-way. I’d waited too long to answer him; the silence was uncomfortably loud.
“No, um, I’m fine, Dad. I just… I was just really happy to see you.” I cleared my throat a couple of times as I carefully measured three teaspoons of coffee and dumped them into the filtered basket.
I kept my back to him the whole time. I needed just a little more time to get a grip.
“Izzy, if you need to take some time off from school today, it would be ok. You know that, right?” The cabinet door squeaked when he opened it. He really needed to oil the hinges.
“No, thanks anyway, Dad. Gwen will be over anytime now, to give me a ride. I feel ok. I don’t think I slept well, is all.”
His mug thudded dully as he set it down beside the gurgling coffeemaker. “Honey, you haven’t been acting right since you had your wreck. Maybe we should get you in to see a doctor; maybe even a therapist? The nurses told me that sometimes, after a major trauma, people develop Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder.” He wouldn’t meet my eyes.
Oh. Wow. My dad thought I was crazy, and maybe he was right. I was acting like a crazy person. “No,” I said quietly, “I’m ok. I can deal with it. Really.” I turned back to him, with my best fake smile firmly in place. “I think I’m just hormonal or something. It’s probably just PMS. No biggie.”
My poor father turned scarlet red all the way to his hairline. I didn’t mean to throw him straight into panic mode with my “girly issues,” but I had to distract him somehow. I had to get him off the subject of me going to see a doctor. Deep down, I knew that no doctor would be able to fix my problem.
***
All the way to school, my mind played tricks on me. I felt like I was missing something vitally important. Like the last piece of a puzzle was absent, and it would never be complete without it. Strange and terrifying visions kept catching me off guard. I started to think that maybe I did have PTSD from my wreck.
It was true, I had been having strange dreams since I woke up in the hospital. I also tensed up a little when riding in cars, especially at night with headlights coming at me. Sometimes I even got a little nauseated, but I figured it was normal after something like that, and I’d just have to learn to live with it.
Gwen pulled into the school parking lot, and suddenly it all came crashing down, and I knew what was wrong with me. The school looked like it had been at the center of a war zone. The walls were collapsed on the side near the gym; windows were blown out, and cardboard temporarily covered the holes. Caution tape cordoned off that area of the school.
A memorial of sorts was resurrected near the gym doors. Flowers were stacked, bouquet upon bouquet, alongside pictures and small mementos. A few sad-looking teddy bears sat among the tokens of a town’s grief: their fur matted from exposure to the elements. Everything came rushing back to me. The angels… the Aerie…Mairya…Asher.
I felt sick, and a little light-headed. Heat rushed into my face and I thought I might pass out. It took a moment to remember how to breathe, but when I did, it helped me calm down enough to survey the damage.
Parts of the school stood, solid as a rock, just like it had for the last forty years. Kids walked through the doors just like always. They didn’t run away in fear, like I remembered. “Are you ok, Iz?” Gwen sounded unusually subdued as she glanced from the destruction, back to me. She bit her lip and watched me with sad, sympathetic eyes.
“Yeah, I think I just need more sleep,” I said, my voice sounding high and thin. “It all looks so gutted, doesn’t it?”
“It does,” she agreed, “but I’m just glad you’re back and safe. I was worried about you, the whole time. If you want to talk about it, I’m very available.”
I had trouble taking my eyes off the wreck that was our school, but at her words, my head swiveled towards her. “What do you mean,” I asked, cautiously. I was certain Asher had ordered Grim to take her memories. Just like Asher had tried to take mine. Had tried, and failed. He must have changed me more than he planned. If he’d had his way, I wouldn’t remember a damned thing. Jerk.
Gwen pulled her car into her favorite spot and cut the engine. “Cut the crap, Iz. I know all about your boyfriend.” My heart skidded to a halt, then took a painful double beat. “Surprised? I do pay some attention.”
“How did you know?”
“Well, once you see one of them, you never forget, do you?”
“Them?”
She lowered her voice as a couple walked by the open window. “Them. The Reapers.”
“Oh, no, no, no.” She wasn’t supposed to remember them.
“Grim likes to hear himself talk.” She drummed her fingers lightly on the steering wheel. That’s how I knew you were relatively ok.” She did remember. Everything.
“You weren’t supposed to know about any of this crap. You weren’t supposed to be involved.” The car seemed to heat up about twenty degrees as I tried to get hold of myself. Maybe I would get to have my melt-down after all.
“Well, I do, and I am. So if you want to talk about it, I’m here for you.”
I felt like bawling my eyes out. Everything was ruined, the school was destroyed, and now Gwen was involved. My hands trembled in latent reaction as I continued to look over the wreckage of the school. “I caused this, Gwen. It’s my fault they came here. It’s my fault the school is destroyed.”
Gwen reached across the seat and hugged me, quickly. “It’s not your fault, Iz. There’s no way you could have done anything other than what you did. And it’s not totally destroyed. There’s still a lot of it standing.”
I swallowed hard. This was worse than I expected. “I know this is a stupid question, but how long have I been gone?”
“A few days, but the weird thing is, nobody seems to notice, but me. Every time I called your house, your dad just said you were taking a shower or out shopping. I think they messed with his head.” I didn’t have to ask who ‘they’ were. The angels. They messed with a lot of things.
I bit my lip and cleared my throat. “Did I miss anything?” That sounded ridiculous; obviously, I’d missed everything.
She shook her head. “Not much. A few news vans and camera crews. They’ve brought in grief counsellors for the students.” She pointed over towards the gym. “Part of the school has been blocked off, where the most damage occurred. Luckily the ‘storm’ took out only a very small area of the school so they were able to use other parts of the school for classes. There’s a math class in the cafeteria, after lunch, and Chemistry is being taught in the library, now.”
“How many died?”
She hesitated before answering, clearly not wanting to upset me further. “Three kids and a teacher. Two of them were sophomores and the other was a freshman.” I must have had a look of horror on my face, because she rushed on. “There’s a prayer vigil this week end, if you want to go.”
I shook my head. “There’s no point. The only one listening to our prayers is a sociopath.”
***
Alex caught up to me at lunch. He set his plate down next to mine, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I’d been jumpy all day: my nerves were raw. There was just so much sadness walking the halls with the students who remained. It was hard being there, especially knowing that it was all my fault. I would have given up and gone home, but Gwen was my ride, and I didn’t want her to skip class just because I had trouble dealing.
“Hey, take it easy. I come in peace.” Alex set a can of Mountain Dew down on my tray. “I even come bearing gifts,” he said, with a grin.
Gwen smiled, tried hard to be cheerful for my sake. “Contraband caffeine, Iz. You better take him up on it, or I will.” She’d been happy and upbeat all morning, and coming from Gwen it came off as forced and wrong. She’s just not a happy and upbeat kind of girl. Although, I did appreciate her trying.
“I’m sorry. I’ve been like this all morning. Thanks for the soda.” I took the can and popped the top. A long swig later, and I felt much better about everything. Caffeine can cure most things, I find; maybe not all of the things that were wrong with me, but most things.
“So, I was thinking, since the haunted house the other night wasn’t so great, that maybe you might let me make it up to you?” Alex folded and refolded his napkin, but he still hadn’t touched his sandwich. He wanted to go out on a
nother date? A hollow feeling settled into the pit of my stomach. The last one seemed like it was a lifetime ago; so many things had changed so much. I had changed so much.
“What did you have in mind,” asked Gwen. “Because it had better be good, and I mean outstanding, to make up for that disaster. And I better not end up babysitting your sissy-assed buddy again.”
“Gwen!” If I could have reached her across the table, I would have kicked her. She just shrugged my warning off. She knew my legs were too short to reach her to do any damage.
I turned to him, instead. He watched me hopefully. I didn’t want to disappoint him. “It’s all good, Alex. The other night wasn’t that bad.”
It really wasn’t that bad, other than Gwen ended up taking her date home, before he had a total panic attack because he was scared stupid by clowns. Then, there was the bimbo vampire and the toxic cloud of fog machine juice. There was also blaring music and some pretty good special effects, and who could forget the big finish? Real live Reapers running amok. And Asher.
Asher. He’d tried to take my memories. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. Hurt. Confused, mostly, but there was anger there, too, simmering beneath the surface. I sighed softly to myself. Just thinking about it made me bone-tired. I couldn’t wait to go home and crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head. I was completely sick of angels and Reapers and crazy, supernatural shit.
Thinking about hiding under the covers gave me pause. There was something there, teasing just at the edges of my tired little brain. Oh, no. Oh, hell no… I’d woken up in my pajamas, but I’d fallen asleep in the backless, purple dress. How had I gotten into my pajamas, and where was the dress? Only Asher knew the answer to either of those questions. I wasn’t sure that I really wanted an honest answer, even if he would give me one. My face burned at the thought. If I could’ve gotten my hands on him at that moment, I would’ve strangled him.
Wings of Darkness: Book 1 of The Immortal Sorrows Series Page 21