“I feel that. I really do. I’m just scared, and there’s not much that I’m afraid of.” I sank down onto the floor, and they followed suit. “I guess I have until the end of my shift to figure out my shit. Ever since I found it, I’ve been avoiding him, well as much as I can when we were together twenty-four-seven. But now that his family is gone, I’ll have nowhere to hide.”
Sadie spoke first. “I think you need to take everyone else out of the equation. Stop thinking about your mom and dad, and just focus on the two of you and your relationship.”
Rhian took my hands in hers. “I see the way he looks at you, East. I know he loves you, and it’s the shit from romance books. I never thought that was real until I saw you two together.” She leaned down so I would look at her. “And I also see the way you look at him—this shit is real. I’m not saying you should marry him, but you need to get out of your head and realize you are not your mom. There’s no guarantee shit will work out with him, but if anyone has a shot, it’s you two.”
I’d spent the entire day thinking about everything we’d talked about this morning, and I still hadn’t truly figured out anything. I needed to clear my head, and I couldn’t do it here. “Joe, do you mind if I take off?”
“Sure, kiddo, are you okay?” His concern nearly had me in tears, but I held them at bay.
“Yeah, I’ve just got a lot of shit on my mind, and I need to clear my head.” It was an understatement, but I couldn’t go through explaining everything again.
“All right, you know where to find me if you need me.”
I kissed his cheek before leaving. I took off down the beach at a sprint. Although I wasn’t dressed for it, I needed to get out some energy and free my head of all the shit tumbling around in there. Hopefully, I’d start to make some sense of it. I ended up at my special spot without even thinking. I dropped my hands to my knees, bent over to catch my breath.
“Easton?”
I looked up to find Tanner squinting at me.
“I thought you were working?” Hurt flashed in his eyes.
I guess we’d be having this conversation sooner rather than later. “I was, but I needed to think, so I left early. What are you doing out here?”
“The same thing as you, I guess, just thinking.”
I knew what he was thinking about, but I figured I would buy myself some time. “About what?”
“Us, you, what I did wrong, and why you’ve been so distant.”
I sat down beside him and took his hand. “I’m sorry.”
“Please don’t start this conversation off with that.” His hand trembled in mine.
I needed to get through this conversation quickly. “I found the ring.”
He looked up at me with wide eyes. “Is this what this is all about? Easton, I can explain. I got—”
“No, please just listen for a minute.” I took a deep breath and looked out over the ocean. “When I found that ring, so many things crossed my mind. First of all, I don’t know where you got it, but it looks like a replica of my mom’s wedding ring—that freaked me out. Secondly, all the memories good and bad of my mom’s relationships came flooding back to me. I haven’t talked much about it because it makes me sad.” I explained to him much the same as I had my friends this morning but was able to hold back the tears.
“Baby, listen, please. My mom gave me that ring when she got here. I tossed it into the drawer without even opening the box. My grandmother left her engagement ring to me when she passed away. My mom didn’t want to mail it, so she decided to bring it with her. I wasn’t hiding it from you, and I promise I wasn’t proposing.”
My eyes went wide at that bit of information. “I’m sorry I panicked.”
“Wait, let me finish that thought because I wasn’t done.” He took both my hands in his, kissing my knuckles. “I know you aren’t ready for that type of commitment, and I’d never push you to do something you aren’t comfortable with.” He kissed my lips softly. “I love you, Easton. I know you aren’t ready to hear that, but I’ve been ready to say it for so long now. And I’ve been bursting at the seams to tell you.”
I nearly choked, not sure what to say. Those three words were stuck in my throat. I wanted to say them, but I was too petrified.
“You don’t have to say it back. I can sense how you feel about me, and that’s enough for now. If I thought you were ready, I would’ve been down on one knee the moment my mom gave me that ring because you’re it for me, Easton.”
“I—”
He halted my words with a kiss, parting my lips with his tongue. I melted into his arms as he wrapped them around me.
He pulled back before I was ready and rested his forehead against mine. “Please don’t leave me.” He closed his eyes, and it broke my heart.
Honestly, I hadn’t thought about leaving. It was just the panic of the permanence of a ring that had scared the ever-loving shit out of me.
“I’m not going anywhere. I’m sorry I freaked out and jumped to conclusions that you were going to propose.”
His shoulders shook with silent laughter. “It’s fine. I should’ve put it away where you wouldn’t find it. I knew this would be your reaction, which is exactly why I wouldn’t propose. But I can’t help but think that my grandmother's ring matching your mom’s is a sign.”
“That is kind of a weird coincidence; I’ll give you that.”
“I’m sorry, baby. I should’ve been more careful. Next time, please come talk to me.”
“This whole talking thing isn’t my forte, but I promise to try harder.”
“That’s all I can ask.”
I rested my head on his shoulder, and we looked out over the rolling waves. I still had a lot to think about and needed to sort out my shit.
“So, how did things go with Tanner?” Sadie was on my case the moment I walked in the door.
We were having a girls’ night, and it was very much needed.
It’d been a few days since Tanner and I’d talked. Things were pretty much back to normal, but one thing was bothering me. “Great, actually. We talked everything out. He explained that he loved me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me, but he was not proposing because he knows that I’m not ready.”
Their jaws hung open, and they stood there in silence.
“Can someone please say something?”
Rhian shook her head. “Sorry, you just said that so casually like he didn’t profess his love and tell you he wants to marry you and that he was sweet enough to wait until you’re ready.” She gripped my shoulders and shook me. “Girl, you hit the jackpot with that one. Spencer is so…not that guy. You’re extremely lucky.”
It was my turn to stare at her, stunned. “Did you just say, Spencer?”
She stepped back slightly and didn’t say anything.
“Rhi?” Sadie tried.
“Fuck!” Rhian gripped the back of her neck. “We don’t need to talk about me. We need to talk about Easton.”
“Oh, fuck that shit. Are you sleeping with Spencer? We’re your best friends, you bitch, and you didn’t tell us?” I was surprised. I was usually the only one of us to keep my feelings inside. “How long?”
She huffed out and went to the kitchen to grab a beer. “A few weeks.” She said with her back to us.
“Weeks?” Sadie squeaked out.
“Maybe more? I don’t know. Look, it’s no big deal. We’re just having a little fun.”
“Weeks is not just a little fun, and if it was truly just fun, you would’ve been spilling all the juicy details with us.” Sadie was right. This wasn’t like Rhian to keep sexy details from us.
“Guys, come on; it’s Spence. How was I supposed to tell you? I knew you’d react like this.”
“Fair enough, but how did that even happen? Have you always had feelings for him? Do you have feelings for him?” I was extremely curious.
“No, yes, fuck, I don’t know. At first, it was just a fling, but it feels like more now. We don’t really talk about that sh
it. We have fun and kind of just don’t let anything else get in the way.”
Sadie put up her hand. “Wait a minute, where does this fun happen?”
“His place.” She shrugged.
“Thank God. If it were happening here, I would’ve felt like such an idiot. Does Carson know?”
“Yeah.” She looked at me. “Tanner does, too.”
“That bastard. I’m going to beat his ass.”
“Enough about that, please. I don’t really want to talk about it. When there’s something to talk about, we will. Deal?”
“Deal.” Sadie and I said I unison.
“Great, now, where were we?” Rhian looked up at the ceiling and then took a swig of her beer. “Oh right, how dumb you are for not realizing how great of a guy Tanner is.”
I smacked her shoulder and then went to grab a cooler before sitting on the sofa. “I am more than aware that he’s amazing, and I am damn lucky to have him. Here’s my dilemma.” I took a deep breath and then looked down at my bottle. “He said he wasn’t going to propose. And when he said that, I realized that I kind of wanted him to. And now that I’ve been thinking about it pretty much twenty-four-seven, I really want him to.”
They both squealed like twelve-year-old girls.
“Guys, I really want this. What do I do now? He’s not going to propose until I give the green light, and I’m so…not telling him I want him to propose because that’s just stupid. So, now I’m stuck.” I sighed as I sank back onto the sofa.
“Oh. Em. Gee. I have an amazing idea.” Rhian looked at me with a cheeky grin as she explained her plan.
Thirty
Well That Was Unexpected
Tanner
Ever since Easton had come back from girls’ night, she’d been acting a little weird. Not standoffish like she was before, but just…off. She was back to her old self as far as being affectionate, but something wasn’t quite right. I figured I would give her time to sort things out and not push.
Easton had planned a special night tonight. We’d met three years ago, and since I’d planned all the other dates, she decided to take the lead on this one. She’d been doing busy work all day, so I knew she was nervous, but I hated seeing her this way.
I was completely ready; she’d told me to dress in a pair of dress pants with a shirt and tie. When Easton walked out of the bedroom, she was dressed to the nines. She looked amazing. I’d seen her in a dress once before, but it was nothing in comparison to the vision before me.
“Wow.” It was all I could say; she literally took away my breath.
When I finally gained my composure, I walked over and grabbed her hand, lifted it above her head, and had her twirl. I needed to see her from every angle. “Baby, you look beautiful.”
Her cheeks flushed as she smiled shyly. “You don’t look too shabby yourself,” she said while adjusting my tie.
“Are you ready?” I couldn’t wait to see what she had planned.
“Not in the slightest,” she muttered under her breath.
“Hey,” I forced her to look up at me, “whatever has you all worked up, we don’t have to do this. We can stay at home in our PJs and watch TV.”
She put her hand on my chest and kissed me softly. “I know you would do that for me. That’s one of the things I love about you, but tonight I want to do something special for you.”
“Fair enough, but just know that we can bail at any time.” I held out my arm for her to take, and we walked to the car.
“I’m driving.” She hopped into the driver’s seat, and as soon as I got in, she handed me a bandana. “Put that on.”
“You’re kidding?”
She gave me a stern look, telling me she was not at all joking, so I gave in.
When the car came to a stop, I had no clue where we were, and I’d tried to pay attention to every turn we made.
“Don’t peek.”
“I wouldn’t dare.”
She came around and opened my door before helping me out. She guided me into wherever we were.
“It’s cold in here. Where are we?” I was dying from the anticipation.
“Yup, it’s cold, all right, and I’m not telling you yet. I’m on the verge of turning us around and going home.” She took a deep breath. “But I don’t want to.”
“Say the word and we’re out of here.” I hated that she was out of her element, but I loved that she was doing this for me, for us.
“Okay, sit there.” She helped me into my seat and then let go of my hand.
I heard her breathing deeply, it was so quiet in here.
“All right, you can take off your blindfold.”
I removed the bandana, and the bright lights blinded me for a moment. I looked around to see a red carpet leading to where we sat, in a hockey arena, in the middle of the rink at a candlelit table for two.
“Oh, baby, it’s perfect.” I couldn’t believe she’d done this for me.
“Shush before I blow chunks all over the ice here.”
Any response died on my lips the moment she got down on one knee in front of me.
“Tanner,” she took a deep breath before continuing, “loving you is like being caught inside. I’ve felt it from the first night we met three years ago. I hadn’t been ready to put words to my feelings because I tried my best to ignore every emotion you provoked in me, even jealousy.”
I raised a brow in question, but she ignored me.
“I kept fucking running, but I couldn’t get away from your ass. Do you know how frustrating that was? I mean, I literally couldn’t stop thinking about you. I’d never had that happen before. I don’t have a clue what you did to me, but I’m glad you did it.”
I tried to hold my tears at bay, but the moment she pulled a box off the table and a tear slipped down her cheek, I couldn’t help it.
“I love you. I’ve loved you for longer than I care to admit it.” She opened the box to reveal a thick black bracelet. “Will you put up with me for the rest of your life?”
I picked her up and kissed her breathless before looking down at her. “You’ve just made me the happiest man alive. I can’t wait to marry you.”
She took the bracelet out of the box and flipped it over to show me. “I decided against a ring. This is made of an official NFL puck, and I had our names put on the inside.”
“I love it, definitely better than a ring. But I hope you’ll now accept my grandmother’s ring?”
“Yes, I will. I’d be honored.” She kissed my lips and then pulled back and huffed out a loud breath. “Oh, thank God that’s over with. I was five seconds away from throwing up, no joke.”
I threw back my head and burst out laughing. “God, I love you.”
“I love you, too.” The words flowed without hesitation, and it was the best feeling to know that she was ready to let go and love me freely without anything holding us back.
Epilogue
You’ve Got To Be Shitting Me
Easton
“Come out, East. You can’t stay in there forever.” Sadie had been trying to coax me out of the bathroom, but I couldn’t bring myself to get up. She banged again. “Have you at least looked?”
“No, bitch, I can’t do it.”
“I’m going to bust this door down if you don’t let us in.” Rhian had now resorted to violence.
“Fine.” I reached up from where I sat on the tiled floor and unlocked the door for them.
They slowly opened the door and peeked inside.
I banged my head against the cabinet as I groaned. “I can’t do it.”
They both came to sit in front of me. Their faces were sympathetic as they each took one of my hands in theirs.
“Do you want me to?” Sadie’s voice was soft in that motherly way had.
My eyes met hers, and I nodded. Although, I wasn’t sure I really meant it. She started to get up, but I gripped her hand.
“Not yet.” I needed another minute.
“East, you need to know.” Rhian squeezed my
hand, and I slowly let go of Sadie’s.
She stood and leaned over the counter. What felt like hours later, she sucked in a small breath. It was barely audible, but I heard it. My head dropped to my knees that I had curled in tight.
“What am I going to do, guys?” A few tears slipped down my cheeks. I had so many emotions running through my head that I couldn’t think straight.
“You’re going to have a baby with the most amazing man ever.” Sadie’s voice, although soothing, also made me want to throat punch her.
I looked up at them and just cried. They didn’t say a word, but they both pulled me in for a hug and held me while the sobs wracked my body.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” Tanner’s voice scared the shit out of me.
I looked up to concern-filled eyes.
“We’ll leave you two to talk,” Sadie said as Tanner came to kneel beside me.
He pulled me into his lap and kissed the top of my head. “Baby, you’re scaring me.”
“I’m sorry, Tanner.” I could barely get out the words.
“Sorry for what? You need to tell me what’s wrong so I can fix this.”
“You can’t fix this.” I reached up onto the counter and felt around blindly for the test and handed it to him.
His eyes went wide and a huge smile formed on his mouth. “Easton, why are you sorry?”
“I don’t know. This changes everything.” We hadn’t even talked about kids; shit, I wasn’t even sure I wanted any.
“Baby, this changes nothing except that we’re having a baby.”
“You’re happy about this?”
He seemed so calm; it was kind of off-putting. “Yes, this makes me extremely happy. But I’m worried about your feelings on the issue. We’ve never discussed kids, and I assume from your tears that you aren’t excited. Tell me what’s going on in your head.”
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